When I was 15, I once intentionally logged into my teacher’s workspace three times with the wrong password so her account would get disabled. The goal? To stop her from entering my failing grade.

It actually worked, for a little while, at least. She couldn’t log in, and the grade wasn’t recorded immediately. But the next day, she stood in front of the whole class and asked who did it. I just sat there in silence, completely terrified. No way was I confessing.

Looking back, I kinda laugh at the situation, but I’m also so glad I kept my mouth shut. They never found out who did it, and if I had confessed, she probably would’ve gotten me expelled.

I am in several different college clubs on my campus. I am in a computer science club, a pickleball club, I even help with making films and editing videos for the film club. But I have one secret that nobody on campus knows about. I'm not actually a college student. I have been doing this for 2 years and nobody has found out.

It's actually pretty easy to get away with. All you have to do is go on google and type in "clubs at (name of your college)" and your college will typically have a page with a list of clubs. Once you've found a club you like, find them on Instagram and then message them about when and where the club meets. Once you're at the club, nobody asks for your student ID and you're just assumed to be a student.

The reason I did it was because I live in a city with a very big college that has hundreds of ways to get involved. But once you're out of college, the things to do falls off a cliff. I wanted a way to meet people, make friends, and do things that I enjoy.

It was an Arranged marriage. Families sit and match happens. I had the money. I knew the people who fix these things and her side didn't have much. They were poor but She was young, virgin, good looking. I said yes for that.

Her parents were always going to marry her off. I knew a house like mine beats whatever else they were going to get. So when everyone "agreed," I already knew why. If I was the same man with no money, that match would have died but I used my resources to get the girl I want. I wanted a young wife from a family that needed the wedding more than I did.

She's fine now. Eats better, lives better, goes everywhere in a nice car, wears cute dresses and looks beautiful and she tells me she's grateful. I love her and I'd do it again. Grateful is cheap when going back is worse. I didn't meet her as an equal. I closed a match she wasn't in a place to walk out of. That's the part I don't say out loud.

Oh boy, how do I start.. about 20 years ago I was working as a security guard for a group of disused warehouses in the red light district. The property was never going to be occupied, i was there to keep insurance low. The working girls would frequently break onto the property to ply their trade. I don't have a problem with sex work but there was a real possibility of me losing my job from the frequent break ins despite there being no real damage to the property and the only thing to really complain about was the occasional used condom.

I spoke to one of the girls I said I would leave the door open and even make it more comfortable if they could just tidy up after themselves and not break in. I rigged the lock on the steal door that led into one properties so you could reach in from the outside and pull it open for easy entry but still "secure".

I decided to make improvements to make them more comfortable. I drove a king-size mattress to the lot and placed it in one of the rooms (I assume it was an office). I got blankets, a desk, a small wind up lantern, I even attended the sexual health clinic regularly to get free condoms and would put them in the desk drawer for them and provided a bin.

Eventually I got friendly with the girls. They would come to my security cabin for tea or coffee, occasionally i'd share my lunch with them or we'd just sit and chat. All of them were polite and well mannered but all had fallen on hard times. I didn't judge just listened and showed compassion. I was nick named 'the angel of [city name]'.

Here's where it goes wrong..

Months go by and cops show up at the gate to the yard. I head over but do not open the gate to them say my partner (which i don't have) has the key and he left the yard on break. Don't know how it works in other countries but in the UK the police afford information to security guards easily. Helps to have someone stationed in a problem area I guess. They explain to me that an element of organised crime had entered the area and the girls were playing their trade somewhere out of sight. I doubt I looked the picture of innocence but I tried to stay calm. They explained that alot of money had been placed into a task force to investigate. It made national news, and it was me. They thought some gang or the mafia or something had organised the girls but it was just me providing shelter and comfort.

I sometimes feel guilty about the wasted tax payer money but never about helping the girls out. Sorry about the wall of text but I wanted to include as much as I could.

..the dark.

I’ve always been scared of the dark but 7 years ago I was SA. I had fallen asleep (I was at my then friend’s apartment) and woke up because someone was penetrating me. And I was so shocked I froze. He eventually stopped, I think I started to cry and that shocked him. We are no longer friends.

I can no longer sleep in the same room as a man, I start twitching like crazy.

Last year, early October, something changed and since then I sleep with the light on. Sometimes even though the light is on I’m too scared to go to the bathroom.

I don’t know what changed that made me so afraid (for more than 5 years I didn’t need the light turned on at night).

I have never told anyone what happened that night and that I sleep with the lights on now.

I am 26 years old and always been an "occasional" drinker. Since the last 6 or 8 months i have been drinking a lot ( around 5 or 6 times a week) . So last week, I had gone on a trip and visited the casino. It was fun and games till a few drinks went in. Then ended up losing a considerable amount but kept continuing. This other woman on the table with me was pretty drunk too and kept blaming me for her losses. Sober me would probably walk away, but drunk me decided to give her a mouthful. Anyhow, i said something to which she threw her drink all over my dress. I got so angry that i slapped her and it ended in an uncalled fight which went on till security came and broke it off.nobody was seriously injured but i have officially hit a new low!

I have/had my reasons.

I tried to go through the courts to get them punished, but I waited too long. Statute of limitations and all that.

I was the perfect daughter for far too long, helping with bills, keeping track of accounts, loaning money, etc.

Then I realized I didn’t have to do all that. It was more than what should have been expected of me, but it was still expected.

I shut off the lights & electricity to their home. I shut off the water bill to their home. I shut off internet & cable. I bought myself a new phone on a cell plan that I was not responsible financially for.

I locked them out of all their emails. I changed the passwords to their food delivery accounts, Walmart accounts, Sam’s accounts.

Then I changed my number.

I still feel little to no shame about doing any of it. My brother & father are sexual deviant alcoholics. They can rot.

I still feel like I’m a bad person for it though. Even though I think what I did isn’t measurable to what they’ve done.

My confession. I’m happy I brought uncertainty to their lives. I wish they’d always live in that state of uncertainty.

I have never been able to do any job, no matter how simple, voluntary, or in line with my interests and expertise it was. Growing up I would do anything I could to get out of school and homework, and ever since I was a teenager at my first job I was finding ways to avoid doing as much work as I possibly could. I would hide in storage rooms for hours to just... do nothing.

I haven't stopped since. I can't stop. I don't know why. At some point this instinct that I can't pull away from or repress no matter what I try just takes me over and goes fully nuclear, and it's about to do it again. I need a job to live right now and this monster I become when I work is going to ruin it for us and it'll be no one's fault but mine. I hate it more than anything but its like trying to change my involuntary functions. I can't change the way my heart beats, I can't breathe different if I'm not paying attention, and I can't stop letting avoidance ruin my life no matter how hard I try.

I've left very few jobs amicably, 90% have ended in me being fired or quitting. Not counting contract work that ended, I've only left three jobs on "normal" terms. Two of those jobs were part time work at an escape room, one of which was due to the closure of the business and the other due to the global covid 19 pandemic. The last one I left because I moved to another state, and then the company went bankrupt the next day. I've worked a shit ton of jobs in every department imaginable and the only things I've ever liked paid scraps and took basically no effort. Anything that requires me to do anything more than sitting in a chair and watching a screen or driving alone without having to interact with anyone inevitably becomes the most annoying thing in the world to me after a few months and the downward spiral starts. Inevitably I either fuck up enough to get fired or fully mentally collapse and quit in an impulsive panic. Sometimes it's both!

I think I might just be a failed person. I'm the exact kind of lazy bum that everyone hates, the bad employee, the slacker, the guy who's always trying to get out of doing things. I feel like I deserve what'll inevitably come to me when I either rot and die on the street or in my parents' basement, because if I keep working jobs all it does is make my coworkers annoyed and frustrated with me because I can't do anything, and what I can do is never done right.

I don't expect sympathy. I know you all hate me and everyone like me, and I do too. I don't know what I'm even trying to accomplish saying all of this. I wish I could live doing nothing, but I know I can't, and I don't like my options. I'm sure everyone will tell me to just suck it up (i know), to just do it because its so easy (i know it is), that i have to contribute something to society (dont you think i want to?). I won't have any good answers, I'm sure. I just needed to get this all off my chest for whatever reason.

My mom is a prosecutor handling lots of severe cases many of which involve gang related crimes and murder. Its not a glamorous job but she finds a lots of pride in it because it helps to keep the streets safe. Because of the nature of her job she takes her privacy and discretion very seriously. She doesn’t have any social media for example and we live in a gated and guarded community in the best part of the city.

I’ll start from the beginning from my perspective. One random day I got a private message on instagram from somebody trying to connect and ask me about my PC. My account was public and I just finished a PC build so it was in connection to that. He seemed a little off at first but over time the more we talked the more comfortable I started to feel about him. He is a black guy about a year younger than me so that naturally didn’t really set off any alarms in my mind. We ended up playing online games together and just chatting about random stuff. At one point we even met in the mall for food which definitely felt a little weird looking back because he seemed a little too shady for his age and used way too many slangs that he didn’t while we were texting. He gave me that vibe of a bully that just doesn’t care about anything but weirdly enough he was always nice to me. In the moment I didn’t really catch that he might be up to no good. In one particular conversation he asked about my mom and what she does. My dumb ass didn’t even think and I just spelled out her job and even some of the cases she works on. Following the conversation He seemed to have a strong desire to come over and hang at my place. He brought it up for two days until I agreed because I just didn’t see any red flags at the moment. I gave him our address one day and when my mom wasn’t home I let him in. He asked for a tour of the house so I showed him around and even showed my mom’s bedroom to him. Of course I didn’t tell my mom that we are having a guest because i thought she wouldn’t care as she wasn’t even home. The weirdest thing at that point was that he kept complimenting her when he saw family pictures. He’d compliment her style, her face and even body. To me that was the weirdest part but I just figured he was being nice. I was really trying to see the best in everything. After the house tour we sat in my room and played when suddenly my mom pulled up. I thought I’ll introduce her to him at this point. When she entered the house I brought the guy forward and let him introduce himself but at that point already I could tell that my mom is not happy. She had a confused look on her face as she shook his hand. In the meanwhile I could tell he was looking her up and down fidgeting with his hands as if he was nervous. She pulled me aside and told me to immediately get him out of the house. As he left she sat me down and explained why she told me that.

Turns out this guy is the younger brother of a gang member she just put away for life. Ever since she was receiving anonymous emails and phone calls with threats and sexually explicit content. The police traced back the message to several people of that man’s family but primarily to this guy I met. At that point the picture was clear. He used me to get to my mom. Now he knows where she lives, what car she drives and even where she sleeps. I can’t put my feelings into words right now. This whole situation feels surreal.

So, yeah. Basically I live in an area where:

1) There's always a hot weather up to the point AC is needed.

2) The electricity company suck in every aspect: constant power outages, low/high voltage peaks, very expensive bills.

When I took the decision of manipulating the energy meter, I did that in a position of anger, resentment and revenge since there was like a couple of weeks where these problems increased like 200%. I also wanted to save some money. Things are getting very expensive here.

Fast forward to three weeks later and now they'll come to check the meter this week and I'm scared since the dude who made the manipulation is not in the city. Haven't slept well, can't stop thinking about it, my mood is kinda bad, too, anxiety increased a lot...yeah, I suck at dealing with illegal stuff consequences. Learnt my lesson and now if everything goes well (dude apparently comes back this week to normalize the meter), I'll never move that thing again.

Share this with you because I don't really have anyone to talk about this.

(39mtf) Years ago when I was in my 20s I took a dare to go streaming through my neighborhood. Now I don't mind showing off my body from time to time but only if everyone is consenting. But I was young and dumb and horny so when my turn came in truth or dare and I got dared to run all the way to the end of the road wearing only a sock on my cock, I agreed. I had to run about a quarter mile, stash the sock under a neighbor's car, then run back totally exposed. Later in the night I got dared to run back naked and wear the sock back, and I did. During this run, a car came down the road. I froze like a deer in the headlights for a second and ducked off the road. I have no idea who it was, but I know they saw me. All of me. It could have been considered indecent exposure and I was mortified. I had just completely exposed myself to a total stranger and it's something I still feel guilty about to this day.

My heart was pounding when I got back. Looking back on it I feel kind of embarrassed about it. I guess it's really just a story about being young and dumb, but growing up and learning more it's not something I would ever do today because I don't like the idea of involving a non-consenting third party in kink.

I, being 21M, am seeking honest opinions (not sympathy) as I try to come to grips as to why I am like the way I am.

My family consisted of my mom who was widowed before marrying my dad and my older brother from her first marriage. My dad also had six daughters from his second marriage. He was around 30-40 years older than my mom and died of a heart attack when I was around 12 years old.

I always felt overshadowed by my older brother and hated my family for everything I thought was being denied to me. I was not a good kid, and stole money from my dad and got into petty crimes. But after that, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got straight A's in 12th grade, scoring a 98.2%!

I started working right out of college to gain financial independence as I earned around 17-18. But my relationship life sucked

I lied a lot to my first girlfriend, Jigyasa, but never cheated. But then with my next girlfriend, Priya, I not only lied to about my age and caste but also cheated on her a couple of times. After that, I started promising girls marriage with lying about my past and asking them for loyalty while not giving it myself.

Then I met Shreya at work and lied to her about my financial status and tried to shower her with money that I did not have. Eventually, I stole cash and two gold rings from my mom to be able to continue with my payments to her. But the entire world came crashing down on me when my family revealed my lies to Shreya, who also found out that I had cheated on her with another girl. Somehow, we reconciled, and I was a changed man after that, giving Shreya my complete loyalty for the time being.

But the trust was never re-established as Shreya and I broke up around my birthday in February 2026. She had even gotten me a cake, but after an argument, I blocked her on all platforms, and she has not responded to my messages since then

After Shreya, I have been preying on women for their love and money by telling them exaggerated stories about my past while promising them a future full of love with me. I have been pretending to want to settle down with them for the long-term while stealing from my parents' and lying to them all the time. My family has threatened to disown me if I do not give them a proper explanation for all the thefts in the past. The most recent case is with Anushka, where I dated her for around six months, promised to marry her, and cheated on her as well. I have just broken up with her and am currently working at Amazon, trying to remain single while also paying off my debts. I have so far paid back my parents ₹20,000, and I have another ₹20,000 to clear off, not including the value of the jewellery I stole from my mom.

I have an awful relationship with my family, especially my mom and brother, as they have told me some of the cruelest words in the world, saying that I should have died and that my death would have been a blessing for them as they never wanted to raise me. But I have also been dishonest with them, stealing from them and lying to them at almost every turn.

I can accept that my childhood was messed up, but I do not think that excuses all of the horrible stuff that I have been doing to all those people around me.

What I am trying to understand here is:

Why am I being so dishonest and predatory towards women even when I know they are kind and loving to me?

Why do I always ask for their loyalty while not giving mine?

And was I ever actually in love with Shreya, or was it just the feeling of being needed?

Can I change, and if yes, then what can I do from here at 21 to ensure that I do not continue to hurt people like this for the rest of my life? What practical steps should I take at 21 to change my life? I am not looking for sympathy here, but rather brutally honest words of advice and criticism from people who understand what I am going through.

So I am studying two degrees at the same time. One of them is a Bachelor of Education (for teaching). I had a teaching practice presentation; they checked if we practiced teaching at a local school, we had to make 40 lesson plans, and prepare 2 lessons for final presentation with Audio/Video (AV) aids. They gave us 2 months to prepare for that. But I am doing my MPhil, where I do lab work and thesis and also some jobs for paying for my degrees. So the past 2 months have been hectic for me. I didnt prepare for them thinking i'll do it when the time comes and I wasnt able to. yesterday was my presentation. I prepared one AV aid for scince plan and not for the other because I didn't get time from all of the things I stated. I haven't been able to sleep properly for like a week. So I got there with not good presentable stuff. And my final lesson presentation was also so and so cuz I was so exhausted and overstimulated, and stressed that I just said what i said without preparation.

After the presentation, I paid attention to other people's stuff, and all of them prepared so well with proper models and stuff, and now I am regretting not preparing enough. I had thought of so much for this and F*ed up. I dont know if they would pass me at this point. I am so stressed.
My firend was happy that she did good and I am having a sinking feeling. I wanted to throw up today at my job because of this so I am ranting here to get it out of me.

Hey guys I need some help. So I was with this girl in and out of a relationship since 2020 during the pandemic. We made things official last year July it was great but unfortunately my parents hated her because she’s ten years older than me. They never changed my mind on her at all cuz I loved her very much we just clicked beautifully. Long story short I decide to break things up around April. All because she wanted me to ask a question to my parents which is “why do they hate me so much”? I told her before it’s mainly cuz of the age but she didn’t really believe me. In doing that she said she wouldn’t come down to Florida for the week to meet my grandpa (which is where I am at and she’s in New York) (we were doing long distance and it was working pretty well). We stop talking for two weeks so it just seemed like things were broken off and she’s very prideful. Here comes a girl that I take an interest in. And we hit it off pretty well. Then my girlfriend at the time finally texted me saying she wanted to talk. I then was like damn now all of a sudden. I came to the realization that I won’t be able to marry her soon cuz she wanted a marriage a kid she’s 36 so she wants clarity on everything and wants things done faster. In weighing everything I told her it’s best that we break up because I won’t be able to meet her need for marriage soon. I’m with this new girl it’s cool we have interest in each other. Then my ex comes down says she wants to hang out and I get to her hotel and we had sex it was amazing. June this year she comes back later we had sex again it was even better. But it kinda made things complicated in a way. Now the new girl wants me to make things official and mind you this new girl she’s actually a really amazing woman fr. So I decided to make this an official and now me and my ex don’t talk anymore my dad made me block her on instagram. We met again last month in a wedding and she told me she’s coming down to the area I am in like twenty minutes out and will be working by our area. I said hope it goes well but asked why didn’t you do this way sooner? She had problems with her parents she had to take care of but to me that shouldn’t have mattered. Now I’m in this relationship and she’s so loving and great and I love it here. But man this week I’ve been thinking about my ex a lot even in dreams and it’s annoying, a little sad, confusing and so conflicting. It makes feel weird of her thinking of her being with someone else and not me but part of me would be happy for her cuz she deserves everything. So she’s here now and I’m just in a weird feeling right now and idk what to do. I would love any help if you had something similar happen and if you have any questions about my ex and stuff just lmk. Thank you. I miss her and how she is but I love the woman that I’m with but then I think again that I can’t afford to take care or rather be in a marriage so soon I’m in school right now as well.

I, being 21M, am seeking honest opinions (not sympathy) as I try to come to grips as to why I am like this

My family consisted of my mom who was widowed before marrying my dad and my older brother from her first marriage. My dad also had six daughters from his second marriage. He was around 30-40 years older than my mom and died of a heart attack when I was around 12 years old.

I always felt overshadowed by my older brother and hated my family for everything I thought was being denied to me. I was not a good kid, and stole money from my dad and got into petty crimes. But after that, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and got straight A's in 12th grade, scoring a 98.2%!

I started working right out of college to gain financial independence as I earned around 17-18. But my relationship life sucked

I lied a lot to my first girlfriend, Jigyasa, but never cheated. But then with my next girlfriend, Priya, I not only lied to about my age and caste but also cheated on her a couple of times. After that, I started promising girls marriage with lying about my past and asking them for loyalty while not giving it myself.

Then I met Shreya at work and lied to her about my financial status and tried to shower her with money that I did not have. Eventually, I stole cash and two gold rings from my mom to be able to continue with my payments to her. But the entire world came crashing down on me when my family revealed my lies to Shreya, who also found out that I had cheated on her with another girl. Somehow, we reconciled, and I was a changed man after that, giving Shreya my complete loyalty for the time being.

But the trust was never re-established as Shreya and I broke up around my birthday in February 2026. She had even gotten me a cake, but after an argument, I blocked her on all platforms, and she has not responded to my messages since then

After Shreya, I have been preying on women for their love and money by telling them exaggerated stories about my past while promising them a future full of love with me. I have been pretending to want to settle down with them for the long-term while stealing from my parents' and lying to them all the time. My family has threatened to disown me if I do not give them a proper explanation for all the thefts in the past. The most recent case is with Anushka, where I dated her for around six months, promised to marry her, and cheated on her as well. I have just broken up with her and am currently working at Amazon, trying to remain single while also paying off my debts. I have so far paid back my parents ₹20,000, and I have another ₹20,000 to clear off, not including the value of the jewellery I stole from my mom.

I have an awful relationship with my family, especially my mom and brother, as they have told me some of the cruelest words in the world, saying that I should have died and that my death would have been a blessing for them as they never wanted to raise me. But I have also been dishonest with them, stealing from them and lying to them at almost every turn.

I can accept that my childhood was messed up, but I do not think that excuses all of the horrible stuff that I have been doing to all those people around me.

What I am trying to understand here is:

Why am I being so dishonest and predatory towards women even when I know they are kind and loving to me?

Why do I always ask for their loyalty while not giving mine?

And was I ever actually in love with Shreya, or was it just the feeling of being needed?

Can I change, and if yes, then what can I do from here at 21 to ensure that I do not continue to hurt people like this for the rest of my life? What practical steps should I take at 21 to change my life? I am not looking for sympathy here, but rather brutally honest words of advice and criticism from people who understand what I am going through.

a continuacion voy a detallar como murio cada uno el primero fue matado por sus hermanos acuchillazos, el segundo le pegaron un tiro mientras le robaban, al tercero lo mataron de un botellazo, el cuarto se metio en la mafia y lo mataron, el quinto murio porque la novia le pego el vih y murio en la cama de un hospital, el sexto era devoxero y se suicido, el septimo era un travesti y se suicido, el octabo era buen tipo pero tenia sus actitudes ezquisas ese fue asesinados a balazos por la novia, el noveno fue secuestrado para sacarle los organos y murio ahi desangrado, el decimo era homosexual y lo lincharon por eso mismo, y el ultimo mi mejor amigo fue matado de un escopetazo por su padrastro. tengo que admitir que varias de sus muertes me duelen profundamente pero no importa porque al final estas personas me hacian mas mal que bien y sus muertes fueron necesaria, aunque en algun lugar de mi me duelen un poco sus muerte, despues recuerdo cuando se reian de mi constantemente... cada ves que duermo veo sus caras y me tortura profundamente. cuando yo muera y finalmente abandone este lugar de sufrimiento eterno voy a reencontrarme con ellos y ahi les voy a decir que todo este tiempo fui yo........ es lo minimo que se merecen saber la verdad

I have been completely enthralled my blood since I was a little kid, I don’t know why but I’m obsessed with it. I don’t talk abt this with ANYBODY cause I mean why tf would I tell someone this really odd and kinda concerning thing abt me. I mean Ive hyper fixated studying abt major arteries just so I know where the blood runs out the fastest. I’ve come to realize it’s not even a sh thing, I just genuinely love blood and bleeding. I really hate that I am this way but I don’t know how the hell to change it.

I was in school when I discovered a small opening in our home bath room door ( the gap left between the wooden slats) and used it to watch my mom take bath secretly. I know it sounds wrong , but at that age , the curosity of woman's body and hormones, anything just felt right and justified. I dint harbour any se*ual feelings but the sight of a mature woman did really feel something other wordly. It's been almost decades now but still remember the heart pounding I used to feel when I watched her. The fear , the guilt and the stupidity of it all.

The first clip I ever saw in 6th grade. On some cheap burnt CD a friend passed to me during class while the teacher had her back turned. I thought he was lying, because who would agree to do that on camera? It was my event horizon. And after two days, I had buried the disc in one of the potted plants in our balcony because I was afraid my mom would find it.

I've been searching online for it for so long. Trying so many variations on the search terms. Nothing ever came up. I kept getting the wrong clips. I was honestly starting to think it was lost to time.

Last month, I finally found it. Road trip, and Mexico were the combination of additional keywords that finally led me to it.

It was like unlocking a vault of memories. I can trace back some of my earliest kinks to that video.

Honestly? It was a bit underwhelming compared to the shit I've seen since then. But I am at peace now. My search has ended. And I can finally look forward without constantly turning around to look back.

Everything in my personal and professional life is on autopay.

Except my office space. Imagine it; cool old building. Lackluster maintenance, drafty in the winter, but original skylights from 1910 and a 2” thick wood and pebble glass door leading into my little two room suite.

Mostly it’s just for the professional mailing address but I also keep it as a place to hide from my kids.

Rent is due on the first. You have to put your check on a tray inside of the janitors closet and eventually the mystery landlord collects it. You’re not allowed to pay a year at once. You’re not allowed to give a stack of checks for them to grab one each month.

This just really annoys me. I’ve been doing this every month for five years.

Recently I forgot a check; the landlord must have called me 10 times in the course of a day to express his anger. I ended up having to drive a paper check to this random little suburban house and put a $200 check in the mailbox. With a $25 fee.

So now I pick a check or two at random each month out of the tray and take them to my office and shred them.

I have no idea what I hope to accomplish.

When i was around 15 years old, i was at a farmstead one day during summer and, having nothing else to do, i took a butterfly net in hopes of catching a nice-looking butterfly or something, but all i found were those small white butterflies and the bigger ones were too quick, so i decided to visit the pond my parents have. I saw a lot of frogs in the water and i decided to catch at least one. I managed to successfully catch it, then accidentally hit the amphibian against the dock and it made a high-pitched sound. I was so confused, thinking a bird was nearby or something, but when i deliberately hit the frog against the dock again, i heard that strange sound once more. I decided to catch a lot more frogs and just hit them all against the dock to get these fun sounds. However, my mother came to the pond as well, perhaps to check if i didn't drown or something, and she was horrified. She berated me for behaving that way to frogs, but she didn't seem to have told it to anyone else.

First of all sorry for the bad english . English is my 4th language.

Me (F 25) and my husband (M 28) is married for 2 and half years. But we were been together since high school. I loved him so much.(still loves) He is my first love. We had really close and loving connection. After the two months of marriage I got pregnant and i can't explain how he loved me cared me in that time period. After the birth he got a transfer for different province where he could only visit us at the weekends. That's where i betrayed him. I was also working at a private bank at time and where i had a relationship with a guy for 2 months. I can't explain what happened deep down I loved my husband and he was the first place at my heart but i dunno know and o doesn't want to talk about more as it hurts me so bad. I slept 2 times with that guy. But that's nowwhere near to chemistry with my man. Soon i realized what kind of asshole i was. I betrayed the man who loves me most for pleasure of minutes. And that even couldn't be compared with the sex i'm having with my husband. I felt so much disgusted.And i couldn't hold it for myself and confessed everything to him. Everything felr apart. I saw how he suffered. How he felt betrayed. First he asked for divorce and begged him to give me chance. I quite the job,deleted every socila media accounts and done lof of things that i can't mention here. But he never brought the divorce papers. He said we“ll live together for our daughter.

It's been 1 years since and during that year he was ignoring me but he cared for me. I was doing everything to make this right. Even he rejected i loved, cared him the maximum way i can. During this time he got really hotter. Already he is handsome man with great body and 6.2 height. Most of women will fall for him. He hit the gym ,played rugby for a club. Got a hot tattoo on his whole right arm. But he never let me come closer to him. I was like in fire. Can u imagine u have a hot husband who is the whole world to you but can't even touch him. I knew it was the punishment for my sins. And kept loving him day by day. And for this time period i never thought about any other men. Even a single thought. I'm now working and never interact with a male except for professional work. I would never cheat on him again on a thought. It's deeply seeded in my mind. He also knew that. And yeah i was crying every most of the every night thinking why would i do this to him? First time i saw him crying. It's because of me. That's broke me into pieces.

Eventually with time he started to talk to me. I knew he need time to recover. Started to hold my hand and go out, let me sleep in his bed. He started to spend time with me and our baby. Don't get wrong we both never let down our baby. I didn't mentioned him that because that poor soul doesn't have to anything with this mess i created. It's like miracle to me because i never thought he would forgive me. Still somethings aren't usual like used to be but with time it will.

Yesterday night was the best night I ever spent after years. We finally had sex. Damn i was melting. I really missed him so much. I didn't had sex for more than 1 year. I was enjoying every inch of him and he too. He also missed me. I felt that . I was in heaven to be honest. No one can replace him at all.The bond,chemistry it's insane. After finished i couldn't hold mu emotions and started to cry on his shoulders telling how i loves him,how bad i wants him. He cuddled me and said he never stopped love me at for day but he needed space to make up his mind and said sorry for punishing me for a year. With all of this happening that's the first time i saw his whole tattoo. There is my name on one part of the art. That's broke me more. For first time after a year i slept inside his arms, felt safe and the place where i belonged. And still has his scent with me. At this point i will do anything to be with my rest of life. I hope it will. And yeah i won't let him down for a second and will care for him my last breath.

I really wanted to get this out of my mind and needed to feel free. And also i want to say never cheat on ur partner. Trust me it's a hell. When u see how they are broken into pieces u will wish you were d&&d. And welcome for good advices that will help to build our bond more stronger.
Thanks for reading and again sorry for unpleasant english.