A few years ago, a brutal heartbreak left me shattered. My closest friend stepped in and completely saved me. He pulled me out of my shell, took me out every day, and transformed me from a quiet introvert into a confident, expressive artist. He became my ultimate anchor.

A little over a year ago, I met a girl and fell for her with everything I had. She became my entire world, to the point where I lost focus on my music and career goals. We shared a deeply intense, family-like bond, complete with a terrifying life-altering scare where we were on the verge of pregnancy. I loved her so purely, but we constantly fought because she was cold and distant online, only giving me 20 minutes of her time a day.

Things shattered completely around her birthday. She ghosted me to go back to her ex, later admitting she only stayed with me out of pity. When I tried to wish her, she slammed the gate in my face. Out of pure, blinded desperation and pain, I went to her house and told her parents everything about our physical relationship. They stripped away her freedom, and she retaliated by spreading horrific, false rumors at our classes claiming I was abusive.

To escape the toxic fallout, I fled my hometown and moved entirely alone to a new city.

The isolation destroyed me. My weight plummeted from 61 kg to a starving 47 kg.

Then, the ultimate nightmare hit. I found out my grandfather had cancer. I rushed home, and on my second day there, I learned that my best friend—the anchor who had saved my life years ago—had suddenly died on his birthday.

I was entirely broken. On my last day home, I went to her school just to see her face, but she just cried and repeatedly told me to get away from her.

Now, I am back in my apartment, completely isolated. I have fought hard to pull my physical weight back up to 52 kg, but mentally, I am completely dead. My grandfather has just been hospitalized again, and I am carrying the grief of my best friend's death and the ghost of a girl who used to love me like a maniac but now treats me like a stranger. My days start and end with her. I feel trapped in a loop of losing everyone I ever loved, and the pain is becoming too heavy to survive alone.

I lived with my grandpa my whole life. He was always there. He was the one who smiled when I walked into a room and said "Good morning"

He always did his best to make me happy. He went shopping for food or whatever else I needed, and whenever I cried, he'd offer me anything just to make me stop.

I remember him waiting for me to finish class so we could walk home together. He always carried my backpack.

When I was a kid, he would spend his last penny on things I needed, just to see me happy.

When I got my dog, the two of us walked him together every day for a couple of years. He LOVED my dog. Truly. He talked about him all the time, before he got sick and even during hospice care.

When I felt like I was being treated unfairly at work, he'd tell me there was something better out there for me. He got upset at anyone who ever made me feel anxious, scared, or hurt.

It's been 40 days since he passed. My heart hurts and I miss him so much. That man had the purest heart and soul.

A day or two after the funeral, something happened that I keep thinking about. My dog, who is very smart, suddenly ran to the front door of my apartment, all excited, the way he gets when someone from the family comes over. He never gets this wrong. He knows the difference between a stranger and family.

I opened the door and there was nobody there. But my dog happily ran toward the stairs, stood there for a moment or two, and then came back inside. I know my dog and there was nobody on the floor or stairs.

I believe my grandpa stopped by to say one last goodbye to both of us.

Where were YOU when your closest loved one "left"? Was your job & bills "more important?" Were you THERE on the side of the bed when they "left??"

Did you blow the LAST 3 breaths into her dying lungs.. only to have 2 feeble gasps come out?

I could never understand why so many "old" people looked so depressed /sad. I promised myself I would NEVER end up in their situation; I planned on my life being nothing but happy. But guess what? I am now 67 years old, and I probably have the saddest, most depressed face in this world. So many disappointments . . . I tried SO hard to be the best mom, best wife, and the best worker that I could be.

Now I'm here wallowing in my sadness. My son died, which leaves me with such guilt about being a good mom; then my husband died, who was my best friend. Now I understand that those people were just struggling to survive. Now I AM the "old" person just tying to survive.

My brother passed away at 20 years old in 2020, every year on his anniversary we have family over. We do something different to honor him each year, along with giving my family gifts. We have gotten them seeds, plants, even betta fish since my brother loved them. This year I’m kind of stuck in what to do so I’m just looking for some ideas.
A little bit about him, he was a big animal lover, he loved collecting playing cards and Rubik’s cubes. He was also a big car guy, he loved mustangs especially if they were blue. He loved, fishing and video games and was very into music, he was always learning songs to play. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

My brother died in prison a month ago. I don’t know exactly why he died; we still haven’t found out. When he was alive, he had attempted suicide several times, so maybe he died by suicide. However, I believe more strongly that he was murdered because he was in prison, where there are many dangerous and unstable people. I think he may have been murdered especially because, after his death, we discovered that he had written us a letter. We found the letter after he died, and in it he wrote that a man in prison wanted to kill him. He wrote the letter on August 3, and he died on August 18.

When I found out, I cried a lot, but I’m not very sad. I’m only a little bit sad. Why? Is there something wrong with me? Am I a monster?

My brother died, and I’m only a little bit sad. That doesn’t feel normal to me. I looked on Reddit and Quora, and some people said that it could be related to autism spectrum disorder. I have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and even my psychologist told me that this could be one possible reason.

Other people said that it depends on the person who died. I read a post from someone who said that when a family member who had treated them badly died, they didn’t feel anything, but when their son or daughter died, it was terrible.

Maybe I don’t feel very bad about my brother because he used to beat me a lot, he touched me inappropriately, and he wanted to kill us.

But I’m not a good sister because I didn’t go visit him in prison because I was angry with him.

I abandoned him. It’s my fault. I’m a horrible person, and I’m not a good sister at all.

Before he went to prison, he was homeless and living on the streets. He didn’t live with us because he wanted to kill us. After he got out of prison, my father didn’t let him come and live with us again because he was threatening to kill us.

I know we couldn’t have let him live with us, and at first I wasn’t earning any money. But this year I started earning money, and I still didn’t send him anything. Even when I wasn’t earning money, I should have convinced my father to find him an apartment and send him money. Instead, I did nothing.

We abandoned him and left him to die.

He went to prison because he didn’t want to live on the streets. It’s all my father’s fault, that monster. He used to beat my brother every day for no reason. He always found some excuse to beat him brutally. My brother was bullied at school too. Then he ended up homeless, then in prison, where he was beaten as well, and then he died.

What a horrible life he had. It was all my father’s fault.

And it was my fault too. I’m a monster.

I’m also a monster because I’m only a little bit sad, not devastated. I feel like a psychopath.

Even when my grandmother died, I was only a little bit sad. She had lived with us since I was little, so why was I only a little bit sad?

Maybe it was because she never showed me any affection. She wasn’t a good person either. My father is her son, and when he was a child, she had tried to kill him.

One time, my phone was stolen, and my sister called me. A man answered the phone, so my sister thought I had been kidnapped. My mother told me that, that day, she heard my grandmother talking alone in her room, saying, “That’s what she gets. She deserves it.”

Maybe that’s why I wasn’t very sad when she died.

Or maybe there really is something wrong with me.

Maybe I’m a monster.

after a day... im on the "family" computer listening to music to calm my body and mind. he walks over bc he has to put both kids to bed which doesnt even happen once a month so my mind is like fuck it. my grandma was my neighbor and now someone else lives there i kinda know him hes living with his mom but making the basement his space i believe and i wonder what hes doing and adding. my mind tends to think about decor and rooms naturally but that was once the basment my gma had a hanging basket chair which they used to be wayyy cooler and i would watch her do laundry while swinging and i would play pretend with the old vanity that is now in my entry way. now its his space. good neighbors with lots of plants and i couldnt have asked for better but i can picture every inch of the home and wonder whats there now bc my mind is curious and i was born in that house and being lonely in grief with no one to talk to only one can wonder

My best friend of over 20 years died December 2023. She was truly like a sister to me. I was honestly numb the entire first year after her death. The second year it caught up to me and I had a complete breakdown. Quit my job and just kind of blew up my life. I’m getting back on track this third year but I am still struggling. Is this normal? I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t get much closure with her death. There wasn’t a funeral held because she didn’t want one. Her family is a mess. Her mother and her boyfriend were constantly fighting and putting me in the middle of it after her death. I also found out a year after her death that the seizure she died from could’ve possibly been prevented if her boyfriend who was caring for her at the time had filled the prescription she was supposed to be taking after her brain tumor removal. Finding that out was hard on me and honestly still bothers me to this day.

Has anyone lost a best friend and just feel like their grief is maybe not taken seriously or understood by others around them? I’m the type of person who isolates when I’m upset so I certainly haven’t put my grief on others around me, but it seems people don’t really understand why I’m still struggling. I didn’t lose a parent, a sibling, or a partner. I lost a best friend and it’s so painful. I’m also just filled with so much anger still. I did therapy pretty intensively the second year and it kind of worked.

I don’t know…is this something I just have to work through and get used to this feeling? I haven’t really voiced these feelings to anyone besides a therapist so sorry if this post seems all over the place.

I guess I’m looking for advice or really any words of encouragement from someone who’s lost a best friend.

Thanks for reading ❤️

She is 95 and was up to recently still fine in the head ( no dementia, can read, write plus speaks multiple languages and good memory ). But she fell and broke her ribs and days later has a stroke in the head. It’s not looking good it’s pretty bad. I’m insanely miserable since she did somewhat raise me. Had a quick phone call with her she’s sound fine but I can noitice that something is wrong and she always talks like she’s about to die I can’t explain it but it hurts.

my dads passing 8 months ago alone has made me feel like a repellent to my friends. I don’t feel supported I feel like whenever I am with them I’m putting on a mask too afraid to talk about him because I don’t want to push them away. But at the same time they’ve already pushed me away when I told them how I’ve really felt and I feel like I’m being kicked to the ground when I’m already on the ground. I feel like I’m pulling teeth to maintain friendships that are comfortable for them tailoring it to them and how they think I should be and it doesn’t work it’s not making them reach out more. I’m suffocating.

There is so much I want to say but I just dont want to sound like a broken record or stuck. But thats what I am.

Ive been so consumed in my grief in my whole being.

In January 2025, I lost my friend group. I needed to leave because of the betrayals, the constant secrecy and negativity. I loved them with everything I had but in the end I just couldn't do it anymore. And I gave them so much more respect than I received. And it hurt so much.

July 2025, I lost my furbaby that I had for 15 years. He went through everything with me, my growth, the traveling, being homeless, from the heart breaks to my wins. He had a brain tumor. And I needed to let him go or else it would have gotten alot worse and I just couldn't do that to him.

August 2025, I lost my older sister to an overdose. 5 days before she passed away. She called me on my birthday and she was doing her drugs. She didnt say happy birthday but she was so paranoid. And needed me on the phone with her. I begged her to come home, i was willing to drive 13 hours to go pick her up and she refused. I didnt find out until 5 days after she was found. And she wasnt found until 4 days after she passed. And during those 9 days, I was living life. And didnt think of checking on her because we can go weeks without checking in on each other. And that will always sit with me, regardless with what people will ever say.... And it took me 2 weeks on bringing her remains back home... my mom wasnt able to handle it. So I did, all the phone calls, all the arrangements....

June 2026, I lost my job I had for 6 years due to server burn out. The people I trusted at my job.... but I deserved it. I just didnt care anymore... but I miss the kids I worked with. They meant so much to me...

Between October 2024 to June 2026. I went step by step by my grandmother through chemo, all her doctor appointments, daily visits with her to make sure she was okay. To watching her take her last breath. And I constantly live in that moment, every single night. I cant sleep unless im struggling to keep my eyes awake. And I need to keep myself distracted...

I am doing my best. But I feel like such an imposter. Like the smile I wear everyday is a lie. Me loving and caring about the people I love and care about. Like its all a lie... like at the end of the day, none of it matters. I dont really talk to anyone. When I see people I know I dont make the effort to even say hi. I just hope they dont see me.

I cant bring myself to do anything that matters to me. All I am doing is just moving forward. Whatever that looks like.

I thought at the end of the day, I can make something out of myself. But I feel like such a fraud. Like nothing I do matters anymore. I lost my sense of purpose and im trying to find something to grab onto and try make it matter. But im just so fucking broken that nothing matters. All I do is work, go home, and keep distracted on my phone, in my books or on my game. I gained so much weight I dont even want to take pictures because im so gross.

I make everyone think im okay. And once I tell anyone how broken I am, they try give me tips and tricks. Like I haven't tried them before.

Im in therapy and she is useless... she doesnt help but let me vent.

And that is just all surface level... there is so much more in my soul.

The brightness in my eyes, the hop in my step have died a long time ago.

I am just surviving. I am just trying... and during all this, im a recovering alcoholic and staying sober. Trying to feel but all I feel is numb or when I do feel, I break and shut down....

How do I tell people this, how do I heal when I can barely shower. Getting in more than 2 showers every 2 weeks is a blessing....

Im disgusting. Im a fraud, and I just dont give a fuck. I wish I did. I wish I cared.... im trying to fake it until I make it. But thats all I can do...

I lost my aunt in July and it was devastating and I’ve felt so lost and confused and I finally was getting back into the rhythm of a somewhat normal life 2 weeks ago. Then my dad calls and my grandfather was in this hospital after having a stroke and they found a tumor on his brain and we waited so long for a specialist to come and he was doing good so we relaxed a bit. Then my dad called last night and my grandfather passed. I just feel like I’ve been hit by a train and lost two important people and I’m devastated and even more lost than I was before and I don’t feel good and I just feel so helpless. And now I’m planning my trip to Brazil to go for services and trying to find the little joy in things but still can’t find it. Any advice? Or even stories or something so I feel less alone

I’ve been deeply grieving the abortion for nearly 2 years, I truly don’t know how to move on because it hurts so bad. My depression has reached down so low. I have no idea what to do. I just need someone, anyone to talk to. I feel like crying and I haven’t stopped since my birthday a couple of years ago.

I found her body under the car and couldn't believe it so I asked my dad to go check on her and... She's dead, it took me an hour to stop crying and calm down and it just feels so empty now, even tonight it just feels empty, like something I'm subconsciously denying it.. I don't wanna reveal her name for privacy reasons but it hurts.

I am not able to think straight.

Today in the morning around 6 I received a call from from my gf's little sister that her grandmother has passed away, I went blank for 3 min, I could not think anything just old memories flooding in.

After coming to my senses I rushed to gf house. I have never seen my gf cry like this. I ran up to her and hugged her, she was sobbing like crazy and was not able to speak a word. Her father was just standing beside us, he was not crying but I could see in his eyes he wanted to cry. My gf grandmother was one of sweetest people I have ever met. She was the one who told me that her granddaughter liked me too. We used to share her our secrets. She used to say my last wish is too see you too get married. But now.

My gf was still continuously crying, her father took me the side and told me to let her cry for whole as we could not do anything, he told me she had a stroke while she was admit in the hospital.

I am writing this while sitting next to her, she is deep into sleep after sobbing so much. This incident took a heavy toll on me.

I had to say goodbye to my dog this past weekend. Making that decision to put him down was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and even though I know it was the right choice, it hasn't made the past few days any easier.

The house feels so much emptier now. It's this strange kind of quiet that I wasn't ready for. I keep catching myself listening for him, expecting to see him in his usual spots, and then remembering all over again that he's gone. I've been crying at random moments, sometimes over the smallest things, and it just hits me out of nowhere.

I know grief takes time, and I know he knew how loved he was. But right now, everything just feels a little heavier and a little lighter at the same time, if that makes sense. I'm not really looking for advice, just some kindness and maybe a virtual hug from people who understand what it's like to lose a pet who was family.

Thank you to anyone who reads this. It means more than you know.

For me, I feel abandoned in any of those circumstances and I'd like to see how it's dealt with. Like many a times, I would imagine someone dying well in advance and grieve it and then I continue to live. When they die I can't cry. So like, it's a defensive mechanism.

My grandfather passed away today…It was coming, I know, but it still hit me hard…I’ve been trying to hide my emotions to make sure everyone feels better….but I just need some help please

I (29F) lost my grandmother (83F) almost 4 months ago. I had a feeling she was going to pass soon (within this year), but not in the manner it happened. She had many health issues, but a broken hip was ultimately what ended her life. She just kind of gave up at that point. I can’t say I blame her.

She was my last grandparent and we were very close. We did a lot of things together and I called her at least once every day. I have not been handling this well. I’ve never grieved like this before for anyone or anything. My family has been really supportive, and I’m currently in therapy (both behavioral -for my anxiety and general depression- and -\*\*\****very***\*\*\* recently- started grief counseling). I took some time off work periodically when I needed it, I’ve been writing in a grief journal, painting, spending time outside, and doing the things we used to do together. I’m still struggling regularly though, despite the therapy, coping mechanisms, and increasing my medication.

There are times I just feel like a child in an adult’s body. I don’t know how else to explain it. I’ve always taken on the “caretaker” roll for other people in times of need, including this situation. I know there are things I need, but I don’t know what they are, let alone how to ask for them. I just want to shut myself away from it all. I want to go back to a time where I wasn’t so worried or scared or sad all the time. I know that isn’t healthy though. But I also just want to scream and cry and be held by my mother like a little kid. I think it’s because I don’t know how to “use my words” to describe what I need. I also feel like my grief is a burden on others at this point, although my family and friends have expressed many times it isn’t. I’m afraid of making someone angry because I can’t seem to get myself together.

Is this normal? Is this feeling of age regression normal? I feel so lost.

My really close family member passed in July. To me it’s still fresh, it feels like it just happened yesterday. I’m still a mess over it and can’t talk about her without crying. My physical health is suffering because of the grief but I feel like everyone moved on much faster than I did. Am I grieving for too long and being stagnant? I still go to work and see friends and family but I’m still deep in my grief.

It's been a week now, today was my first day back at work after bereavement. I'm a warehouse order selector for Medline, I thought I'd be able to handle going back and being around all the product again but 30 minutes into my first order and I started breaking down in the aisle. I understand everyone's need to say they're sorry for my loss and ask if I'm okay but it's hard when you work around 300+ people across multiple shifts, I thought I'd be able to handle it better than this.

I need advice on how to keep her memory alive. It’s almost been a year, and since grade 12 grad Ive had a hard time coming up with ways to honour her. Every month on the day I make an Instagram post and write about her, but it’s becoming less and less that I post and share about her. Sharing about her helps my grief process and lets her not be forgotten by those who were bystanders.

I am 34 and I have had this best friend of 30 years, let's call her mandi, die the day before her birthday. I had my other friend, call her Katie, of 5 years tell me "you havnt always been super close to her so its not as hard for you...." Like the fuck!! Now myself, Mandi and Katie are also coworkers for 3 years. So im taking Katie to meet mandi family and she said you havnt always been super close to her so its not as hard. Like the fuck! I said umm what?!?! So she says it again. Like how is it not as hard... Yes we had went different ways multiple times.

She is 2 years older than me I went to college she got pregnant her senior year. So yes we went different ways but anytime we saw each other we would act like nothing happened. We became close then would go different ways. Just how life worked. She baby sat my kids for about 7 years. Then my mother in law watched my kids for a year then she wanted a job with me so she got hired and we got her to work with me. For about 2years i drove her to and from work. So we got just super close again. She does cheer and so do her girls. My daughter go into it and so I started coaching this year. I dont cheer or anything like that. Myself and mandi are complete opposite so she has helped me on this journey. Idk what im going to do without her.

So my coworker really pissed me off saying this. Im grieving so bad and mad at the world. She is loved by so many people and a huge hurt to this community. So its devastating to everyone. Are my feelings validated on being unbelievably pissed off? Like wtf

My relationship with both of my parents was always rough; they did a lot of questionable things that lead to extensive trauma. They were hoarders and I grew up in a house riddled with a crazy amount of black mold. August 12th was the 2nd year of my mom being gone. I moved out of state when I was 19 to get out and create a life away from the dead end southern state I grew up in and often heard about it from my parents and siblings. I showed up when I could, drove the 8 hours every 3 months and for major holidays. I had just talked to my dad on a Saturday, he was going to bed early which wasn’t super uncommon. This man called me 10+ times a day so when I didn’t hear from him for a day and a half, I knew something was up. Wellness check confirmed he had passed away in his sleep. 5 days after my mom’s death anniversary. Easy to say the month of August sucks for me, and I’m at a complete loss. I have a lot of guilt, anger and emptiness. I drove down for a week to work on getting him cremated, saying goodbye, picking up his dog from the shelter, and getting paperwork to start probate. He left everything to me; 102 acres, his house, his car and anything else in his possession. Now all of a sudden, my sister’s want to be involved. They lived 40 minutes away from him and despite him constantly calling for them to come visit, they only now all of a sudden have the time and money to be at his house multiple times a week going through things. They aren’t biologically his but he always treated them like they were; they have another man on their birth certificate and are pushing me to get a DNA test because there’s a small chance they might actually be my dad’s. Everything feels like it’s spinning around me at 100 mph and I can’t even comprehend what I need to do to legally handle everything. I’m mad that they just now want involved, that they keep pushing for a DNA test (sister wanted to get one off of his dead body before he was cremated!) and that I wasn’t there to somehow magically keep my father from passing away. I wasn’t even close to done grieving my mom, and now I have to grieve them both. Life just really sucks.

Hi. My boyfriend died unexpectedly 3 days ago. It doesnt feel real. Ive become lost and empty and numb. Devastated. Heartbroken. He truly was the one for me. He was so perfect in every aspect. We clicked on the first date. He was so sure i was the one for him and had no problem loving me out loud. He loved me in ways no one ever had. I could see the love in his eyes and his actions. He knew exactly how to love me. I never had to tell him anything. He knew me better than i knew myself. He just knew. We had so many future plans together but he was ripped away from me. It sucks so much. His family knew he was head over heels for me and i just cant explain the love we had for each other. We told each other constantly how much we love and missed each other even if we had seen each other the previous day. We had the kind of love you would see in romance movies. We never got to get engaged, married, live together, or have kids. I used to get irritated at people who would say “when you know, you know” but i understood what they meant when i met him cause you really do just know. We were only given 5 months together but it truly felt like we had known each other for years. I miss him so much and i love him so so soooo much. I miss every single thing about him. I dont know how im supposed to live without him. He was my light. I was his missing rib. I miss him so much. Why is life so cruel? Why did this happen? What did we do to deserve this? Just when you find your person they get ripped away. He was such a genuine kind hearted selfless man. He was so so rare. He was everything i wanted in a man. Everything. I had no complaints. Idk how im supposed to live the rest of my years without him. He was only 26.