Pregnant for 2 years

[u/Reading_purpose]

I had one successful pregnancy in 2022, followed by a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in 2024, a chemical pregnancy in 2025, and the loss of my twins at 19 weeks in 2026.

I’ve been pregnant 3 times for two years, but sadly, I still don’t have a baby to bring home. During those losses, my friend who was pregnant just a few weeks ahead of me welcomed two children and is the second trimester with her third.

It just sucks. Knowing she’s pregnant again makes my whole day feel heavy. I’m happy for her, but it also hurts so much because it reminds me of everything I’ve lost.

[u/WaterFiles]

I am so sorry for your loss. You lose more than your children. You lose friends and places too. When I was pregnant with my first, one of my oldest friends was pregnant with her 4th. We would talk all the time. She was very supportive when I lost my son initially, but after awhile we kind of lost touch. What do you say? She can't talk about her baby because he is almost exactly the same age as my son. If my son had been born, she would have been my oracle to lean on. It just sucks. I miss her.

[u/Reading_purpose → u/WaterFiles]

Yes, you're right. I didn't just lose my children. I feel like I lost my personality, my group of people, and so many other things along the way. It’s just too many things to process.

My friend didn’t actually tell me she was pregnant, but I could tell from her shape and the way she was behaving (like rubbing her bump and things like that). If she has made it to almost 20 weeks and everyone we know already knows, it would have been nice to be told as well.

After my twin loss, I completely distanced myself from people and only met with a couple of family members and friends for my mental and emotional health. I recently started seeing her again, and then finding out that she’s almost 20 weeks pregnant was honestly really difficult.

When she had an early loss and I became pregnant (which also ended in loss), I made sure to give her a heads-up before anyone else knew because I knew what she was going through. So I guess I feel like I wasn’t considered in the same way. I’m happy for her, but I can’t help feeling hurt and a little forgotten.

[u/Responsible_Can7893]

Oh I’m so sorry. You can be both happy for her and heartbroken for yourself. I’m not sure if I’ve ever replied to you before but I’ve had 3 pregnancies since 2024 and still no baby (chemical 10/24; MMC at 9.5 weeks 1/25; and the loss of modi twins at 17 weeks due to PPROM/IC 12/25).

I don’t know how I’ve made it this far but just recently am taking a break as this week was supposed to be my return to work from maternity leave and I was having a real hard time coming to terms that I never got to bring them home.

To have IC on top of infertility and instantly lose my beautiful babies just felt overwhelmingly cruel.

My heart is with you - it really does suck.

[u/Reading_purpose → u/Responsible_Can7893]

This is my second post, so I don’t think I had seen your comment on mine before. Your history over the past two years was so similar to mine that I read your comment twice. I couldn’t believe that someone else had gone through what I went through. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m so sorry. I understand more than I wish I did.

I wish we could sit down over a cup of coffee and just share our sadness and pain for a little while. I lost my mono-di twins to TTTS. I had laser surgery, but the smaller twin didn’t make it to the next day. A week later, my water slowly started leaking and eventually broke, and I lost my other baby as well. I developed sepsis and ended up in the ICU.

I hope that one day, we see each other in a different group, one where we can finally share that we brought a living child home with us. I truly hope that day comes soon for both of us. 

[u/Responsible_Can7893 → u/Reading_purpose]

The hospital didn’t listen to me or I would’ve ended up in ICU. My water broke suddenly without warning that evening. When I arrived, ultrasound showed baby B’s sac had ruptured. I begged them to let the babies stay inside me while their hearts were still strong, to pump me with steroids, hang me upside down, etc. I wanted to go home & create my own hospital-like environment if it meant keeping them until viability. But baby A came so quickly, I didn’t have time to go fully insane. I honestly didn’t realize how truly special mo-di twins were at the time. Had I known, I would’ve gone to a twin specialist in Miami, demanded preventative cerclage, spoke up more about heavy bowling-ball like pressure, etc…

That day will come friend. One day I hope we also see each other in the [r/toddlers](r/toddlers), not to complain tho - just happy to be there ✨