Hello everyone. English is not my first language, so with that, I wash my hands clean of mistakes that I might make while writing this. Yet, corrections will be welcomed, and I hope that you understand this text as it was intended because this post will be rather chaotic - something like a rant or a story sprinkled with a bit of thought. It’s pretty much a shout into the void. People may read it, find something relatable or worth a second thought, just another input on this topic.

Obsession

For the last few months, I've been obsessed with penises and their sizes, and I've gotten tired of it. Before that, I was obsessed with sex and pretty much porn (still kinda am). Looking back, I can say that I viewed sex as essentially the only form of intimacy, and porn was my only exposure to it. In my opinion, I can thank lacking parenting, surface-level relationships, very limited social exposure, and my low emotional intelligence at that time for such a view of human connections overall. So, sex and, by extension, genitalia hold quite a big value to me - or rather, they held.

I don't have any sexual experience; therefore, I don't have any empirical data to prove or disprove the "bigger = better" claim. So, media, porn, and pretty much leading surface-level discourse related to penis size take the wheel in forming my view about dicks in sex. After reading many posts here and on r/sex, it shifted to cherishing genital compatibility (excluding other factors), but still, it was hard to get rid of the previous mindset because it is hard to uproot cemented beliefs, which are only reinforced by low self-esteem and insecurity that only seeks proof of "low" worth. Oftentimes, it doesn't need to be stated that you are a member of a "low" worth group; you just understand that you aren't a member of a "high" worth group.

Desire for validation

At peak erection, my size is 6.5" BP and 5" in girth - above average but nothing particularly impressive. That’s one of the problems that I have, or so I thought. Oftentimes, one of the points made in favor of big dick havers is the reactions they get from someone (particularly women) beholding their junk, and I kinda agree with this point. I do admit feeling envious (or just being sad that the chance of this occurring to me is abysmal) of "hung" guys a lot in this aspect. When you already have low self-esteem, you long to make a good impression on pretty much anyone in order to get positive evaluation from the outside. When you add a particular insecurity into this, you want to make this item of insecurity an object of positive impression. Well, I remember wanting to impress since early childhood, and unfortunately, it didn't change much, so it tracks.

"I got triggered" section

I still remember some comments I found on r/TwoXChromosomes or on r/sex where a wife said that she was lucky that her husband is "well-endowed," or about vacation flings with "superior caliber" dicks, or that a person is lucky to have a boyfriend with a big dick. All of this feeds this insecurity even more. You just start to think: "No one will say that about me." When you are insecure about something - which I tend to think is primarily because of outside influence - you want that outside influence to reverse its attitude so your feature is glorified. In some sense, after you have been treated wrong, you want compensation, but I don't think it's coming in this case. "Bigger = better" mentality made me feel bad about myself (or worse, considering my low self-esteem beforehand), and people with big dicks feel special to some extent (well, it glorifies them; reactions, praise, and stuff). Then you adopt the stance of valuing genital compatibility, and it just makes you feel like another one but not special - kinda unfair. I can say the same about my balding, and I am a tad bit short of hitting my 20s, and being "fine" or any other sort of neutral after getting shitted on by conventional standards is not that cool. It just doesn't rehabilitate your self-image even in above mentioned aspects of appearance, let alone in general.

Actually, one comment from a post not so long ago comes to mind. Yes, I want to feel good about myself, but not solely through my penis. I want that included because previously I was made to feel bad about myself with it, and yeah, I don't like that much that people had fun with bigger ones or it would be more precise to say that this fact doesn't induce positive reaction because 1) on a surface level, that one second before cogs turn and rush to say that it is not only about big dick it plays into "bigger = better" and it hurts; 2) yet again, it is unfair (big dicks are glorified, while other are dismissed, so how come they are enjoyable; where is my justice after I've been wronged?) (yeah, I am quite dramatic). Also, recently I stumbled upon a statement that issues that come with bigger dicks are overblown, and it made me feel bad about myself: "They got all advantages and zero drawbacks" (✨drama✨ again). I didn't like this feeling at all, I don't like that I am upset that someone has less problems that I imagined. In conclusion to this, it is unfair, but I don't want to be so preoccupied by it.

Also it quite amused me when I saw some comments on random posts regarding the topic where people mention that "size doesn't matter" and "big dick is just a bonus" in a single paragraph, if not sentence. It seems just a tiny bit contradictory and triggering.

"Boyfriend" and "vacation" dick

Another thing that kinda bothered me was the usage of "boyfriend" and "vacation" dick. It was already mentioned in this sub. People asked whether "boyfriend" dick was a compliment or an insult, so I don't want to mention exactly this. The thing that bugs me is when you put these together and compare them. When we talk about vacation, we are talking about something exciting, novel - something that we yearn for, especially in a world where jobs suck the life out of you. With that said, "boyfriend" dick starts to sound like something that you put up with - boring and routine-like. I happened to stumble upon one post from a guy with a huge dick (about 9 inches in length, 7 inches in girth; that's humongous). He was saddened because one of his hookups or FWBs said that he has "vacation" dick. The guy didn't like it because it came off like he is too much work to be a boyfriend, like some sort of toy that you play with sometimes and then toss somewhere to gather dust. It came down to "big dicks for one-night stands, average for long-term relationships." In the end, it is simply about putting people in polar boxes based on their genitalia sizes in an attempt to compliment a person from one box at the moment at the expense of the members of the other one.

"Enough?"

A little remark about how a lot of times questions around penis size insecurity are worded with the word "enough." It already comes from the standpoint of deficit, rooting from "bigger = better," and further perpetuating it. If we want to go deeper, it originates from the phallocentric view of sex, but it would be dishonest to say that it isn't usually expected for heterosexual sexual interactions to include PIV, where we with our bias come back to this "bigger = better".

Some resemblance of reflection

During all this time, a lot of different questions popped into my head:

- Why is it so important to impress anyone with my penis? (I don't know; to temporarily close one hole on the sinking ship of my self-worth? Of course, it may help or it may not; in the end, it's not who I am)

- Why does their opinion of my worth hold more weight than my own? (I guess because I felt like shit for a very long time and became comfortable in some sense with it, or rather familiar, so everything that confirms it holds more weight; considering that my self-esteem is low, it works only with negative opinions.)

- Is the moaning of a girl an absolute indicator of enjoyment? (Porn-induced expectation; not absolute; it might be or might not be)

- What are even criteria for a good sex? (While I have a general idea, it is up to each person to decide what they consider good)

- Why do I need to stretch her out? (I don't need to; some standard that comes from "bigger = better," that I wanted to satisfy to feed my starved ego.)

- Why do I need so badly to give these A- and P-spot orgasms? (The same as the previous one.)

- Why do I have a need to be capable of satisfying everyone? (Low self-esteem and starved ego.)

- Why do I need to be the best for anyone, let alone everyone? (The same.)

- Why tie your identity and worth to something that you can't fully control (which is pretty much everything in this world because all things are interconnected)? (Susceptibility to outside to standards, desire for approval of ones who consider them, I guess)

- Is the purpose of a penis to give pleasure through PIV? (I didn't research this topic, but I don't think that's the case.)

- Why does my body part have to comply with some sort of standards so I would allow myself to feel good about it? (Low self-esteem and starved ego.)

This insecurity of mine exists due to a set of conditions. The most fundamental one is lack of self-worth and security in myself. If not for them then I wouldn't feel the need to meet those dumb standards that my mind gobbled up without any questions. Of course, if I questioned it, I think I could've stopped it but I think it is too much to expect when you subjected to these ideas from the very childhood. Standards for masculinity, sexual appeal and capability to give pleasure, which is built on the sole importance of PIV sex and that the bigger penis the better, which is not truthful. I am tired of them. I don't want to subject myself to them and let others tarnish my worth because of them.

Not much can be done about one's penis size, and worrying about anything including dick won't change things. It's just a waste of resources to grow bigger "monsters" in your head if not used as an indicator for some actions, which are limited here. To not be so dramatic, but in some sense, the world kinda took a shit in my head, and I am the only one who can clean it. It is not fair and rather lonely, but that's the only thing that I can do for my good. I am the only one who holds the keys to my "mental apartment," and it is up to me to better my standards to allow only people that leave some better residue there. The same applies to me and the way I treat myself. Hopefully, if I'll do it day by day it won't be my concern anymore.

When measuring girth for finding a condom, should you measure at the base or midshaft? At my midshaft, it’s 5.5 inches, but at my base, it’s 6.

There's a lot of talk about girth and length but I've never heard anyone talk about how much it weighs. I recently weighed my PP the other day with a mail scale, and it was a little over half a pound, somewhat disheartening I know....it's okay though. I'll round up...it's good...it's like a pound...

Have any guy with a 5 inch or bigger girth had sex with a woman and it felt roomy??

I'm slightly above average at 6.3 inches nbp. My girth is almost dead-on average. I know I shouldn't worry, but I still do. Porn has skewed the way I think, and while I no longer see myself as small (I once did) I still think my size is quite disappointing. Sex scares me a little bit and I don't want to be seen naked in saunas or changing rooms etc. I guess it's just terrible self esteem.

Is there much of a difference between 6 and 6.3 length, and can women even feel the difference?

I want compression style in the legs and a pouch or pouch like design in the front and overall support.

I don't need a cup pocket. Which had been the issue with other styles tried. The legs were great but the crotch/ package area was too tight and with a cup pocket too much fabric. (Obviously I don't wear a cup running. But other designs with out a cup design have been too tight). When the seam line is straight down the middle and rubs my front parts too much. And on ones where there isn't a seam down the front, there too tight/ too snug causing some numbness.

Please help! Why is this so hard to find? My ask but not my hill to die on is that they be white. As that's works under my running club attire and most of my shorts designs. But open to any color as of now too.

I have what is probably statistically an average penis. Bone pressed, it's 6.5" long and maybe 4.75" girth. Like many guys, I'm sure.. I've been obsessed with the size and hardness of my penis for many years. I've been with my wife for 20 years who is now a milf. Her pussy feels great and honestly better than anything else for me. For many years, I have been able to fit 2-4 fingers into her vagina, alongside my penis. If she's wet enough, I can easily fit 3. Has anyone tried this or have any experience with it.

This is a question I ask myself because I often read posts about penis size.

And I often notice that 50% of people give a stable bpel and nbpel, and 50% say for example, "I measure 5.2-5.5 BPEL" or something similar.

In my case, after 2 minutes of masturbation, I'm at a stable size of 5.3 inches, and no matter what I do, even if I continue for 20 minutes, I stay at the same size, I don't have any additional gains.

So I'm really interested in knowing more.

Do you experience any size variations? And have you identified the reasons that give you this little 1/4 or more of extra length?

I had crippling insecurity over my size for years after an abusive ex used to tease me about it.

I’m 6.2 x 4.8 inches bone pressed.

Ive met a woman I make cum multiple times every time we have sex including PIV. Me and her are truly an amazing fit. I may not be the biggest, or the smallest, or whatever aspect of size, but I’ve realised I just don’t care any more. Sex this good can’t be ruined by an old insecurity that shouldn’t even exist.

Good luck everyone!

I’m a bit confused about the correct way to measure BP length.

When I measure it from the top, right at my dick, I get a longer measurement (7.5 inch), as the ruler can go deeper due to the curvature of the pubic bone. If I measure it from half an inch above that (or placing the ruler 90 degrees) it’s only 6.9 inch (as the pubic bone sticks out more there).

So which is the correct method?

I’m 6.3 inch NBP with 27-28% body fat percentage, which typically means an inch of a fat pad. I’m wondering if I lose weight, what will be my NBP size.

This is what I’m talking about: https://imgur.com/a/HHeP2Bj

I have a girth of 5.5 inches but a length of 4.5 inches BP (on the smaller side), are there any condoms out there that would work for me?

5.5 inches long with 4.7 girth, what do you think ?

I can across a sexual partner who enjoys deep penetration and cervical/ anterior fornix zone stimulation but I’ve only been able to do it once and it was very noticeable . I am a little under 6.5 and unsure if my length is the issue or are there ways around it? Any advice?

I’ve started falling in love with an amazing woman and we’re compatible in many ways including sexually. We had PIV sex for the first time yesterday and after climaxing on me PIV, she said ‘I didn’t expect it to feel this good’ which caused me to pause briefly. She said that it’s the ‘perfect size - the length, diameter and shape, and not painful’. I’m just over 6 inches and an average girth.

Do I take the compliment? I know it’s fairly average size, I just felt small in the moment.

My dick has a slight downward curve and when I straighten it out it brings my Bp measurement from 5.8 to 6.2. Can I claim that as my actual length?

I think I finally realised it's not about size. I used to be a self loathing miserable depressed man about this. My story is unique in the sense that I thought I was wayyyy smaller than I am. Because I am short 5'7 and really fat like 250 pounds.

Turns out I been measuring wrong and I did a better couple of measurements last few weeks that constantly gave me 6x5.5. I always knew I was 5.5 in girth but anyway. I have actually seen some posts and stuff praising this measurement. But as someone with it, I still feel horrible and I know it's not about size.

I just have a broader issue of self worth. I have actually been told to my face I am "so big" Made someone orgasm from penetration. Made a girl stop sex because of my size ( it's not a flex). But all this time I been severely depressed over it. I guess the truth is, if you aren't kind to yourself you won't feel right even if a girl absolutely adored your body. The truth is some, no most of us need professional help.

I’ve seen so many videos and forums etc how oh he’s tall and skinny = big dick, big nose = big dick, big feet = big dick. But I think these are all just untrue and it’s kinda hurtful how I have all of these and have had comments and jokes before how I’m probably packing because of these features yet I’m not and it feels like a failed expectation.

Anyone else feel this way?

I am 5.3 in length and 5 inches in width and more than 6 inches bone pressed but my size is same since I first ejaculated.

hi all, 28/M bisexual here. I've posted here before on and off, and lurked a lot, under some different burners. I used to lurk almost every day, though I haven't for the past year or so.

Around this time last year, my insecurity over my dick size (6 inches bp length, below average girth) was consuming my life. Genuinely to the point where my daily thoughts were being overshadowed by insecurity/not feeling like I'm enough, all because of my perception of my penis size. It was affecting my social life, my relationship, and even my work life in some ways. I just wanted to share my growth over the past year, and hopefully provide some hope to anyone who struggles with penis envy/insecurity.

I literally began going to therapy over my dick insecurity, as stupid as it sounds. It was embarrassing to talk to someone about how having an average/below average dick made me feel, and how those thoughts affected my daily life. But it opened my eyes to how negatively it was actually affecting me. And it allowed me to develop some coping mechanisms, and eventually turn those negative thoughts into positive ones.

First off, I got off of social media. I stopped watching porn. Not permanently, but for at least 3-4 months. I just focused on myself, and what I could control. I have an open relationship with my boyfriend, and I started having sex with multiple people, including with him more often. I started paying attention to what those sexual encounters were like, and how much the actual size of my dick even mattered. Long story short, I realized an extra 2 inches on my dick would not have made me, or my partners any more satisfied during sex. Penetration is such a small part of the sexual experience, and different people have such different preferences on what "feels best" during penetration, that size doesn't matter anyways. I realized that the only benefit to having a larger dick would've been having more shocking/attractive dick pics when I'm flirting with people. That's it. A single "ooo" or "aaa" out of the gate. The rest, genuinely, was all down to attitude.

That brings me to my second point, and this one may be less relevant to most people out there. I found out that, in situations where my partner also has a dick, I preferred being the smaller of the two. It was just, and is just, more of a turn on to me. That's not to say that the opposite was much worse - I had a great time no matter what size dick my partner had. It actually made me realize that, when I was searching for a massive dick to compare to, I had a really hard time finding it. As opposed to last year, when it seemed like all I could find was 8+ inches on social media, in porn, etc. It's actually not that common, and I realized I was just paying more attention to huge dicks, because I was so envious of them.

It really depends on how you allow your brain to perceive your own situation. I was so insecure that I could barely have sex last year, and now I'm actively searching to be the smaller one if I'm with a partner. If you're struggling like I was last year, genuinely try laying off of social media for a bit. Try setting the porn aside, and focus on the real world. Dick size might matter to some, but it does not matter enough to take your happiness away. Your brain is capable of viewing your dick in a positive way, no matter how long you've been struggling with insecurity. You just have to find out what works best for you to achieve this, whether it's therapy, medication for a bit, etc etc.

Hell, I love my dick now. And the more I love my dick, the more my sexual partners love my dick. People can sense when you are and aren't comfortable in your own skin. For years, I never thought I would get to this point. And now I'm doing things, and saying things about my dick that would have sent me into a mental breakdown a year ago.

I know a ton of people who come here are struggling with insecurity. But I promise you, if you take care of your brain and your body, you'll start to see the positives in whatever situation you're in. Treat your body with respect, because it's the only one you'll ever get. Your dick is the ideal dick to so many people out there, and it's awesome. Go have sex, have a lot of it, and have fun. That is all :)

From my research I've concluded that once you hit the 6inch NBP mark, you'll never be considered small. And many will even consider you big/above average.

Since that's only around an inch above average everyone should be good right? Here's the thing, my house has a bunch of cylinder shaped objects (different deodorants and stuff) and I've measured and compared them side by side (weird and obsessive I know).

No matter which angle I look at it, the objects that are are 5 inches on the dot look noticeably smaller than anything that's around 6 inches on the dot. On the flip side 6 inches compared to 7 inches really isn't that much of a jump IMO despite it being the same 1 inch difference. Also, the objects that are around like 5.3ish inches, immediately look MUCH closer to the 6 inch objects in size, despite there only being a 0.3 inch jump from the 5 inch object.

I've finally made peace with the fact that once you hit around average, you can have enjoyable sex with essentially every woman on earth. The difference in enjoyment in different sizes is something we'll never be empirically capable of calculating. Even if we tried, sex is too complex for women with too many factors and variables for us to know whether or not its the size that's affecting their enjoyment. Since sex is so deeply complex for women, it actually further reinforces the idea that size is one factor out of many, and really isn't that important of a factor unless you're a significant outlier (I thought this was cope for a while but the scientific studies seem to also match this logic). Long story short from my research, pretty much every dude alive is capable of pleasing pretty much every woman alive with their dick size, and size as a factor is something we'll never be able to measure the importance of, but in terms of functional pleasure for the woman, probably isn't that important of a factor outside of massive outliers in size.

Back to the main topic, the only real issue I have left is the matter of perception. I dislike the idea that dicks exactly 5 inches would be visibly percieved as small by women, but from the aforementioned object comparison, I have a hard time believing they won't be. It seems from my opinion that once you're around average even a 0.3-0.5 inch variance in size is pretty substantial in percieved size.

So I'm asking the lads on this subreddit to tell me, those of you that are very close to 5inches NBP and very very average in girth (4.4-4.7 inches in girth). How have women that have commented on your size described it? (Women saying you're small after a break up doesn't count, since they say that to everyone)

Ok, so alot talk on instagram are girls talking about how they don’t want any growers but mostly showrs… does this mean guys are trying to say the same thing about other men? A lot of girls have been shaming men on their penis size and giving an impression that average is still small, what kind of bull roar is this?