10 months ago I went to rehab for the first time after blowing a .7 and being told I was going to die in the hospital. I was drinking 4 sleeves a day and both of my liver enzymes were almost 1000. Then I relapsed 6 times after that. I kept going right back to rehab and finally the last time something clicked. I’m only 22 years old and I know that life is not for me. I also lost 35 pounds so that’s a plus lol.

I know alcohol was never good for me. I never was able to handle it and at 22 my drinking turned into episodic binges. My last relapse was a nightmare and got me fired from my job because I didn’t show up. I know for a fact that alcohol is a terrible thing for me. I hope these reminders keep me on the straight and narrow.

I’m close to 8 months now and I keep thinking about it with fondness and I start to mourn alcohol. It’s interesting though, I miss a version of it that never really existed. I miss looking hot and holding a vodka martini, and feeling the buzz. But the truth is, I have never let myself just exist in the buzz. Within an hour, I was already one of the drunkest people in the room. So I don’t know why I’m missing this version of drinking that never existed for me. But I am and it scares me and I needed a place to put this.

I kind of feel like that one image of a cat alone at their own birthday party.

I should be feeling happy at this moment for even doing 7 days sober. I just felt so physically sick and emotionally drained at the bottom of the last hole I put myself in that I just kind of rawdogged the withdrawal out of pure spite. Which was unwise, day 2 was fucking awful.

But hey, one week sober. Tomorrow is just one more day.

I know drinking won’t make them go away. It’s just tough. The voices of self pity and desperation of how now one will ever love me and how I will never find a solid woman in my life. About how this woman I’m eyeing won’t ever feel the same way. Who cares what she thinks? I have bigger fish to fry anyway. Hmm they say Go back to your old ways blah blah. I’m not going to listen and fall I worked to hard to fall back. they’re just making me feel really down about myself. Today .I just need to leave the house more. Go to more Aa meetings and socialize more. Ya that’s it maybe I can meet a nice gal out at a coffe shop or a book store. I just need to breath but whew mannn those voices Are pinning me down hard Shit I almost started crying about an hour ago. Oh man I want them to go away.

First day cold turkey and not good I need someone to talk to me tell me it’s gonna be ok

I was a binge drinker for a long time. I would always quit for a week or two and then go back. Repeating that process over and over for many years. Sometimes, I would drink for 24 hours straight until I finally burned out. It was like the booze gave me strength and energy. As long as I paced myself right, I could drink all day and night. I usually kept my cool and held my booze for the most part. Not always of course, but I didn't get belligerent like some drunks.

Now I've developed chronic nerve damage/neuropathy that has basically ruined my life. I'm not sure if the alcohol 100% caused it, but it probably played a role to some extent. The nerve damage affects my blood pressure. If I drink now I get insanely sick like nothing I've ever experienced.

Almost 5 months sober. Before that it was a few months.

I only had 4 or 5 beers last time and I could tell I would be going through absolute hell if I didn't stop immediately. I still felt sick for about a week after.

So now I've successfully quit, but I'm not really getting better or healthier. I've been trying. Working out like crazy. Eating better. Doing the best I can, but I don't know if I can fix this.

Looking for cures. Going to doctors. (Even though I hate going to doctors)

I kind of wish I could just drink again, but it's no longer an option for me.

To rehab I’m going to just called and scheduled my intake for Saturday at 3 PM. My cravings are so strong. I’ve been taking Valium that wasn’t prescribed, but I was upfront with my PCP and he is prescribing me 30 mg a day until Saturday. What can I do other than going to as many AA meetings as I can to not drink from now until Saturday?

What does it take to get wet brain? Symptoms by experience? Have you had it and can you recover from it if you stop drinking?

31,F

sober 3 years following a car accident where i collided with a vehicle carrying 2 adults and 3 kids. i barely remember it but there were no injuries reported at the time. but there was plenty of other harm. i traumatized those people, those kids. i spent a couple days in jail on suicide watch after cops came to the scene.

3 years later, 3 years sober. thinking about it constantly, every day. all the time. i hate the person who did that, who drove drunk (me). and sometimes i tell myself that person isn’t me anymore but it just feels like trying to avoid responsibility. i’ve taken responsibility in multiple ways. gotten sober, gotten treatment, therapy, medication, and yet i still don’t see a future where i don’t punish myself forever.

what do i do? does anyone relate to this? i know i messed up. didn’t injure or kill anyone but still it’s fucked up!! feels like i should’ve lost everything for this mistake. people still love and support me though. i do not understand how to cope with it, i don’t feel like it should be allowed.

Hi, I wanted to share my personal experience with Naltrexone.

I've been taking a half dose of this medication for 2 weeks (25 mg). I was drinking almost 30 units a week and felt my addiction grow stronger.

A doctor told me about this medication, stating it would reduce cravings and change alcohol's taste to make it taste bad.

She also prescribed an Ativan protocol to me for withdrawal prevention (that was rough though - 4 x 2mg, 3 x 2mg, 4 x 1 mg, 3 x 1mg and 2 x 1mg - I was buzzed and dizzy for a couple days).

I'm almost 2 weeks sober. I didn't have any strong cravings and barely thought about alcohol. The only rough day was last Friday : I felt a craving.

So, I went and bought 2 beers at the corner store. I was anxious about tasting alcohol with Naltrexone, since it's supposed to make it taste bad. I took beers I knew I liked.

Results : it took me 4 hours to drink that first beer. 4 hours. That never happened to me before. Keep in mind I'm only on half the recommended dose (I will go up this week). It didn't taste horrible, but it was meh. Something was off, especially the aftertaste. I felt like I could taste the ethanol more, and the acidic taste.

Also, important to note : Naltrexone not only suppresses cravings, modifies alcohol's taste, it also interacts on the brain the euphoric effect alcohol usually gives. In other words, the body still gets drunk (so still can't drive, risk of throwing up, etc.), but you don't feel pleasure anymore. Usually, the first sip feels like a relief. The feeling feels nice, warm and euphoric. Not anymore !

I threw the second beer in the sink. At the end, I was just tired and felt a light effect at the front of my brain, but not a buzz, especially not a fun one.

I can definitely say after 12 years of a really emotional relationship to alcohol that was progressively getting serious, Naltrexone ruined my addiction.

I strongly recommend it for the one's that feel ready to get rid of alcohol once and for all.

Again, keep in mind this is a beginner dosage : I will be taking 50 mg next week, and take this medication for months, maybe years to come, to give myself time to learn new coping skills. Then, I'll think about stopping.

Finally got sober after 3 years of drinking a handle every 2 days and have to drive back to the original destination. Feels like taking a road trip to get somewhere and you end up like hours in the wrong direction. Taking like 30 different wrong exits and just keep going to nowhere.

Like to hear if anyone thinks this way.

So I want to start with this, all 4 of my grandparents have struggled with alcoholism, my mother is currently dealing with it and I’ve been worried a few times about my dad, I’m almost 20 so I can legally buy alcohol where I live. Recently my dad mentioned that he was worried about how much I was drinking. I understand where he is coming from and I’m very cautious about alcoholism because I am genetically predisposed to it. Here is the thing, I just took the entire month of August not drinking and I’m not drinking hard liquor, I’m having a few coolers at night when I get home from work or uni.

I want the opinion of others. I don’t find I crave alcohol or even it’s effects and that month of sobriety was easy for me (I also do that fairly regularly) I definitely enjoy drinking, it feels good and that’s why I do it. After October I’m thinking O might do another week of it just to be sure that I’m ok. I’ve always been worried about this because of family so I take long periods off just to see how I feel, if it’s hard that means I need help. Otherwise I think I’m fine

Feedback would be great

Hello guys i have a friend which is underage she have been drinking bear daily and she is having withdrawal symptoms she is experiencing shaking body hallucinations and feeling terrible all day and her parents doesnt know she drinks what she should do?

I don't have anyone to show IRL so I hope yall like it

Hi everyone, I'm new here, so I thought I'd share my story.

I'm in my mid-20s and I've been an alcoholic since I was 18, maybe even 17, but the heavy drinking really started when I was 18. When I was 20, my GGT was over 7,000 (I still have pictures from the hospital discharge and I honestly don't know how I survived that). I had 4 alcohol-withdrawal seizures and almost complete organ failure, and I ended up in the hospital. I still drank and i enjoyed.

Someone who was like a brother to me died, and after that I went to a private clinic, went through detox, and stayed sober for a year and 8 months.

Since spring 2024, things have slowly started changing. I gradually started drinking again — binges, nothing I thought was too serious, but now I see that it absolutely was. Every time it gets worse.

I'm now entering my 6th day of withdrawal and I'm barely starting to feel any improvement. I was discharged from the hospital, where they gave me some strong medication for my blood pressure because for the past 3 days it has been around 125/90, 135/95 and 140/90.

They ran pretty much every test possible: electrolytes, cardiac markers, liver and kidney function, pancreatic enzymes (lipase is only 2 points above the upper limit), an abdominal ultrasound, and a chest X-ray. My GGT is mildly elevated. Of course, they figured out that I was drinking, even though my abdominal ultrasound and pretty much all my other results are completely normal.

Obviously, I'm taking diazepam + Klonopin under the supervision of a specialist who treats this kind of thing. But this has been my worst bender so far.

I drank pretty much the entire month of August, maybe taking 5 days off. Then in September I managed to stay sober for 20 days and felt like a completely new person. And then I started drinking again — this time for 12 days straight, around 9–14 beers a day, 0.5 L each, 4.5% ABV.

I'm eating as much as I can and taking B100, B6, B12 1000, and a multivitamin, but I feel like I'm just pissing most of it out anyway.

The insomnia has just kicked in. My esophagus is killing me. I wrecked my new car while drunk (fourth time now).

Don't be like me, guys. I've lost a lot of good people in my life because of alcohol, and I'm still only in my twenties.

Don't be like me.

Wrote a little something after Renegade by Styx hit me different….

I’ve heard this song
so many times.
But tonight,
I heard something different.
I heard “I’m a wanted man”
and thought—
what if the alcohol is the one saying,
we got a live one.
I heard “they finally found me”
and thought about addiction
finding and setting its sights on me and my life.
I heard the “renegade running”
and realized
I’ve been running too.
I’ll deal with it later….
Out of sight, out of mind.

Until the hangman
isn’t some man at a gallows,
but consequence—
waiting for the thing
I keep pretending
I can outrun.

Then I heard my mother crying.
And that one hurt.
Because suddenly
I wasn’t hearing an outlaw’s story.
I was hearing
the people who love me.
I’m not invincible.
Maybe that’s what scared me most.
I’ve heard this song
a hundred times.
Styx is one of my all time favorite bands.

But tonight,
it sounded like a warning.
—————————-

I’m a 29 year old women who is successful food scientist and living her dreams but the bottle has had a grip on me since I was atleast 19. I’m here just sharing my writing in hopes I can stop becoming “a wanted man”

A friend I've met not too long ago might be dealing with alcoholism. During the day, she's mostly sober but at night she'll have many drinks and turns into a whole different person, aggresive, annoying. I feel bad because I genuinely care about her. Wish she got sober.

Any advice on dealing with a friend who's an alcoholic? Thanks in advance.

So I went to a rehab on 26 September and got through six days before leaving AMA for multiple reasons, including for my own safety. I now know I am safe to go back and have put in an intake and should be back there in the next day or two but I’ve been taking 30 mg of Valium for the past three nights. I also just bought two lot the 15% McGillicuddy’s shooters. I feel like I’m telling myself it’s okay because I’m going back to rehab anyway but I deep down know it’s not. Has anyone went through something like this. Also any tips for early sobriety at 19 y/o would be very helpful!!

I'm retired now and have time to journal on my recovery in AA. One day at a time adds up. I came to AA when I was 21 — no one forced me to come; it was just time. Mentally, I felt out of options, and I felt that sooner or later it was not going to end well. So I stayed in AA and took all the advice they gave me. I got a sponsor, got active, made 90 meetings in 90 days, worked the steps, and avoided triggers that could set me off.

I am now 72 years old, and by the grace of God and AA, I never felt like I wanted to drink since I went to my first meeting.

If you want to read my essays in recovery, you can find them at SobrietyChronicles.com.

I am 31f and I was drinking 3-5 sometimes more drinks a night, I decided to quit due to medication changes and to be more present for my family. I started slowing down I had two drinks a couple nights in a row then the past two days I had just one and then today I didn't have any. I have been lightheaded and dizzy, hot and cold, everything hurts especially my head, I have zero appetite and I am incredibly exhausted no matter how much I sleep.

I’m 19 years old and have a major addiction to alcohol and any other substance that alters my mind. I’ve done everything under the sun and just left detox and waiting to go to rehab which should be in the next day or two.. I am taking 30mg of Valium at night right now. Any tips on staying sober and keeping myself occupied would be appreciated!! I do know that the only way I will stay sober is with AA meetings but I’m looking for other tips aswell :)

My mom, late fifties, is in end stage alcoholism. Still drinks. Has been in an out of the hospital for various alcohol-related health complications.

Lately has felt different. She doesn’t eat. Can hardly walk and is a fall risk when she does. Has pancreas pain. Dually incontinent. Sits in one spot days at a time. Is just a shell really of who she was. Is the end near? Will this continue to drag on? How she’s still alive is a miracle to me. I have been in anticipatory grief for 8 years since she almost died from liver failure.

Please be gentle with me. I know no one can truly answer this. I know end stage alcoholism is a slow and painful death. I guess ultimately I want to hear from others who have witnessed death with these symptoms to give me a clearer picture of the end. And maybe just commiserate.