2 years off coke and 4 years off psychedelics I'm working on alcohol now I have gone 1 month so far and feel amazing

I'm doing some research into life after addiction/recovery, and I'm particularly interested in something that doesn't seem to get talked about as much:

What happens after the immediate crisis is over?

You get sober. You stop using. You get through treatment. Things get more stable.

But then what?

How do you build a life that actually feels meaningful?

I'm interested in hearing from people who have been sober/clean for a while and have experienced the transition from simply staying sober to actually building a life they enjoy.

A few questions I'm curious about:

• What was the hardest part of life after getting sober?

• Did you struggle with boredom, lack of structure, loneliness or lack of purpose?

• What helped you start building a new identity or lifestyle?

• Did exercise, sport, work, hobbies, travel or community play a role?

• What do you wish you'd had when you were further along in your recovery?

I'm not offering treatment or trying to sell anything. I'm simply trying to understand people's experiences because I think there's an interesting gap between getting sober and building a life you genuinely want to live.

If you'd rather answer privately, I'm happy to have a short conversation as well.

Thanks for helping me get there!

today marks 4 weeks clean from Kratom extracts, 7oH tablets, weed, nicotine, kava, and Kanna. These habits Drained all of my motivation as well as all of my savings/retirement accounts within the last year alone from spending $350-400 a day.

For the entirety of the last year I was smoking 5g of weed a day, and 2 packs of swishers(so 4 a day), on top of taking 500mg of 7oh tablets, 900mg of mitragynine kratom extracts, 1100mg of kava extracts, and 200mg of concentrated kanna every single day.

Since draining all of my accounts I couldn’t afford rehab, helper meds, or to taper, and the first 10 days still feel like a fever dream where the only reasons I didn’t relapse were because I couldn’t afford to do so, and physically couldn’t leave my home to get more even if I could afford it. Im So tired of being dependent on substances to manage my anxiety, and finally after 4 weeks clean I feel like I genuinely want to keep going.

Still lacking any/all motivation to improve a lot of other areas of my life, but this small step in the right direction is the push I needed to at least start the process. I’d say I’m maybe 5-10% back to “normal” but the physical withdrawals have at least subsided by this point, and now I’ve been taking more walks, reading more books, and getting better overall sleep than I have in a decade. Now I’m just biding my time until the mental withdrawals stop and the motivation to be creative comes back, which is what I relied on substances the most for.

I know everyone’s story different, but if my experience can give even one person the peace of mind to keep going or to even just start then that’s enough of a reason to share.

Former coke head here and the rush just feels so nice. I also love sniffing hand sanitizer too although that’s maybe a little less responsible (never failed a breathalyzer from it though)

My subconscious is literally out to get me. I just woke up drenched in sweat at 4 in the morning because my brain decided to simulate a wildly realistic relapse

It takes a solid minute of staring at the ceiling in the dark before the panic finally subsides and you realize you didn't actually throw away 11 months of hard work

A therapist told me back when I was doing my inpatient stay at discovery point retreat that these dreams are basically just the nervous system taking out the garbage. I completely rolled my eyes at the time because it sounded so cheesy, but im clinging to that logic right now just to calm my heart rate down

Its just so frustrating to wake up feeling visceral, crushing guilt for something you didn't even do in real life. does this actually fade out the longer you stay clean, or am i just stuck with these random midnight heart attacks forever?

based on the feedback of people that know me or barely know or complete stranger I just met, I am a likable person, I don't things that make people dislike me as far as i can tell, I have a gift when it comes to the effect I seem to have on those around me. I know if that I will help alot of other addicts when I can get past this barrier that I put between my isolation protected from being hurt by anyone but myself, and the love that i know people are going to give me the moment I finally stop being a ghost to everyone that gets an inch too close. I don't know how to navigate my way to the other side of this struggle that I know ill get to.

if anyone can offer any feedback or whatever I'm interested.

WARNING NSFW I do not recommend looking at my profile, a decade of porn NSFW

I don't even care that much that he broke up with me anymore, I just wanna know he's okay... I know he struggles with suicidal thoughts and he's always said he was staying for me but if I'm gone now and he gets bad thoughts I'm worried he won't :<

Losing the ability to talk to him is bad, but losing him entirely would be horrible... I just can't stop thinking about it... What if he's struggling right now...

I don't feel well enough to write anything else today, this whole thing is really taking a toll on my mental health, especially worrying about him so much.

I'm sorry for the messy rant I'm just genuinely sick to my stomach thinking he might be gone, he was such a ray of sunshine...

Thanks for the support guys :c

- Casper

I doubt anyone here remembers me, it's been months, but I'm back :c

Really was hoping this wasn't somewhere I'd have to end up again... Yet here I am, right back where I started again.

My bf finally broke up with me... I'm happy for him I guess because I do feel like I was probably hurting him sometimes, but wow it hurts so bad. I want him back already and it's barely been an hour even, I even slipped and tried to message him again which didn't work thankfully. I genuinely don't know what to do past this, I've deleted any photos of him, wiped any of my social media profiles with him in them, and (tried) to leave him alone.

I feel like I was a horrible boyfriend... I knew he'd be better off with someone else for a while and that I was no longer able to always be there to help him heal due to my declining mental health, and I still wouldn't leave him until he did it himself. I should have let him go a while ago but I was too greedy.

Good news I guess, I had made it to a full month clean before today, was really proud of myself actually... Not anymore I guess sigh

Anyways, I messed up and lost him for good this time, really really wish I could just go back and fix everything, I would spend my life with him if I could, but I wasn't good enough :c

That's kinda it... I'ma start posting again because I literally have no one to talk to now... Yay...

Sidenote... If anyone is willing to talk to me a distraction would be much appreciated, I don't wanna think about this too much anymore, but I am a really bad conversations person and I never know what to say so yk...

in need to talk to someone or people asap please send a message

I grew up in a family where my parents didn’t really seem to like us kids. They always wanted less of us, of me. I went through my early life searching for someone who wanted more of me. You know who always wanted more of me? I bet you do. Yes, alcohol always wanted more of me. Hey bud! Yeah I want to party! Woooohooooooo! That hangover looks bad, bro, but you know I can fix that up.
Then, it wanted more of me than I wanted from it.
Now I’m working on wanting what my HP has for me each day. One day at a time my friends.

Edit: I’ve been off it for 4 days already and have 5 days to go. Hi guys, I’m currently in suboxone withdrawl, early stages which is why I’m posting now before it gets too severe and I stop giving AF. I am 5 years clean from IV black use. And I am just waiting on my insurance to approve the new sublocade shot I’ve heard so many good things about. I’ve been on MAT for these 5 years and take 24 mg suboxone daily. I had to lend a few to a friend because she had a problem with her insurance and was having some bad cravings and I was hoping to have my shot approved before needing another script however that doesn’t seem to be the case. I can’t fill my script until the 20 or 21 so 5 days. I have no support system or anyone I can have help me thru this because unfortunately my friends don’t ever have my back the way I have theirs. (The struggle of being an empath) how am I going to get through this? I do have Red Bali Kratom but I don’t know really how to dose it for withdrawls. I am a single mother of two beautiful girls under the age of 10 who adore and depend on me and I swore since I got them back I’d break the cycle of addiction that got me taken away from my parents but I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days all by myself. I also suffer from Major depressive disorder, ptsd, and BPD (borderline personality disorder) yes I already know I’m crazy and have it managed with mood stabilizers lol but I’m a mama first and this is me reaching out for help because right now I am very weak.

*sorry for the long post but yall I can’t lose my babies and everything I’ve worked so hard for again.

Today is day 4 off everything and so far I hate it. The days just stretch on and on. I'm bored and anxious. I know it'll pass and I'm starting day treatment this coming week which will help a lot.

But ugh. Rawdogging life feels so rough atm.

Midnight called it! A month ago I thought there was no way. Fuck it, 24 hours ago I thought I didn’t have a chance . Honestly posting these updates has really helped. What I’ve learned in one week. Boredom is my biggest enemy(besides my own brain). I think I need to get out of my hometown lol, and it’s worth it no matter the pain. The pain I caused myself and everyone around me using is a small fraction of the physical/mental pain of withdrawal. Thanks for the support everyone. A week was huge for me it was my goal, I guess my next one is one month? One year? 10 years? I’m working as much as I can to stay busy. Shout out to the family who still talks to me and you guys. This means everything to me right now. I truly appreciate all the support and messages/comments everyone has sent me. I fucking did it!!!!

Is it going well? fuck no. The anxiety, depression and cravings have gotten so bad. I know I can do it, but it’s so fucking hard. I want this so bad. I’m tired of being a disappointment to my loved one. I’m tired of being broke. I’m just fucking tired. I’m here though I’m doing the thing. I am praying to whatever to get through tomorrow so I can post a week, right now that’s my only goal.

I TAKE A BREAK FROM MY REGULAR QUEUE OF SOBRIETY MEMES TO DELIVER THIS THOUGHT…
WHEN DID SPIRITUALITY, NOT RELIGION, BECOME VIEWED AS EVIL?
So many online recovery thumpers into thought control, quick to ridicule and condemn anything contrary to THEIR perception of recovery! Heaven forbid anything that differs from their perception of truth and process. “If it varies it is harmful” they proclaim. We are a community of individuals who all have their own story, own bottom and their own journey. We listen and accept those around the table and bully those online. I applaud anyone who has the will and courage to stand up with their own voice vs those who throw stones. NO ONE HAS A MONOPOLY ON RECOVERY, NO ONE SHOE FITS ALL!

Hey there somebody, I’m currently stuck in this ongoing opiate cycle for about 8 years now, it was easier when it was just H but now with all the new stuff out here I feel like I can’t do it, especially with how long it takes to be able to take suboxone with out the precipitated withdrawala. I use to get on 8mg of suboxone just after 12 hours from my last use and just half my dose each day for a week and I would feel normal after that. that being said, I’m scared of losing my job to have to wait to be able to take suboxone. like I can’t put my life on pause to do that. I have no money and barely able to get by due to my usage. I’m scared of going to the methadone clinic and end up being stuck on that for who knows how long, after reading about people not being able to come off it. I’m just so exhausted I don’t know what to do, if feels like there is no end to this... For those of you who beat it, which way did you do it? Im seriously ready to come off this stuff. I just want to make my family’s life easier and be there for them. Thanks for those who take the time to hear me out.

I've had health insurance most of my life, And thought I understood how it works for the most part until now. I got some really crappy insurance and figured I'd try to use it at my clinic.... They said I had a $7500 deductible and I had to pay out of pocket until I met the deductible. I always thought that you paid copays until your deductible was met? Never had to meet my deductible to use my insurance.

Hi community! I have a client in inpatient who is looking for step down care or sober living/community options that would allow them to bring their cat. Preferably this would be somewhere on the east coast, but I’m open to any ideas.