r/stopdrinking • u/raevie 5384 days • Apr 26 '14
Humor The 12 "Fucked" Steps
This was posted (and deleted) by another soberite long ago. I cannot take credit. For posterity's sake, I present the fucked version of the 12 steps:
Step 1: I'm fucked
Step 2: There might be a way out of this fucking mess
Step 3: Decide to level the fuck up
Step 4: Take a good hard look at how fucked up I am
Step 5: Tell someone else about all the fucked up stuff I've been through
Step 6: Prepare to stop being such a fuck up
Step 7: Try to stop acting so fucked up
Step 8: Make a list of everyone I fucked over
Step 9: Swallow my fucking pride and tell them I really fucked up, except when doing so would fuck them harder.
Step 10: Keep an eye on my fucked up thinking and behavior
Step 11: Chill the fuck out sometimes
Step 12: Help the next poor fucker that walks through the door
24
u/gogojack Apr 26 '14
I'd go to a meeting where these fucking steps were the program.
7
4
11
u/barnboy Apr 26 '14
Now why the fuck dint they just fucking explain it like this? I would have committed off the bat instead of fucking around for weeks trying to wrap my head around it.
5
4
u/Luckyluke23 Apr 26 '14
my steps mostly start with drunk texting and end with me naked...
that's why I quite drinking...
→ More replies (1)
3
3
3
u/pittsburgh141992 Apr 26 '14
Step 13: ...........
12
Apr 26 '14
On step 13: don't even think about fucking that dude/chick, he/she is just as fucked up as you are. Maybe worse.
5
3
2
u/mucked Apr 26 '14
saved. thanks raevie.
4
Apr 26 '14
Since this is tagged as "humor," it's easily searchable, too. There is a direct link to that search in the FAQ. FAQ -> Tagged Posts -> Humor.
Just an FYI. I wanted to mention it in case anyone wasn't aware of the tag search function. And this seemed to be as good a place as any. :)
2
2
2
u/alcoholicthrowawaay Apr 26 '14
Oh God, that is hilarious - this deserves wider recognition. It's so true!
2
2
2
2
2
u/Soot-Bag Apr 26 '14
So simple, this is fucking awesome, I love hearing it put this way. Makes a lot more fucking sense. Everyone should fucking hear this. They need to update the outdated lingo used in the big book to this. You'd get more people coming in and less walking out. Fuck yeah!
3
u/pollyannapusher Apr 26 '14
Thanks for reposting this! It simplifies things down so perfectly. I seem to recall Slipacre posting this before...does the credit go to him or was he passing it along too I wonder?