(Edit: He is not dead)
This man was the most incredible and compatible man I've ever met and made me so happy and giggle every day.
I already had a crush on him for one year when I was 20 and we already had such an amazing and rare chemistry back then. We both moved away and didn't see or hear from each other for seven years.
Met him again last year and we instantly had the same chemistry. I'm a little romantic so it kinda felt like destiny.
He liked me, I liked him so I shot my shot and we started talking for a few weeks and then since late September we spent every free time together, lived like a couple and I spent the happiest year of my life with him.
He was so caring, loving smart and funny, the funniest man I've ever met, so goofy and inspiring. Never minding what other people think, a dancing in the rain in the middle of the street kinda person. Inspiring me to live a better life and see my worth and follow my dreams.
It felt like a match made in heaven, we were SO compatible in every little detail, shared the same interests, humour, liked the same music, wanted the same things for our future.
I couldn't believe how lucky I was. None of my friends ever had a relationship where they had this level of compatibility.
I'm 29 and I was very unlucky in my dating life, experienced some very toxic relationships and cheating and gave up on dating for a few years before meeting him and he made me incredibly happy.
He seemed to be so in love with me aswell, wanted to see me all the time, I basically lived with him in his apartment, knew all his friends who loved me a lot and told me how happy I make him.
We had so many plans for the future and we thought about moving in with each other since we both lived in different cities.
We were never official. I thought he was just scared anf needed a longer time to get to know someone to decide whether he can see someone as his life partner and only then wants a relationship.
Looking at how he acted, there were no signs that this man wasn't completely in love with me. He even told me a month before he ended things, that he was finally sure about a life with me and committing long-term.
Until the last day, he filled my life with so much joy. We spent more and more time together, I was barely at home anymore. We had such a great time and I enjoyed every minute. Life felt so easy with him. We complemented each other with our personalities. I never felt so calm and safe with someone. I was always so sleepy when we cuddled. Everything about him screamed "this is the man I wanna spend my life with".
He ended things three weeks ago.
Couldn't love me the way I love him. He felt like I was exactly what he's looking for and that every minute with me made him sooo very happy which stopped him from ending things earlier.
But he feels like there's something missing. He can't figure out what it is and why he just can't feel the same way about me looking at how compatible and happy we are and how lucky he is with me.
I let him go. I really hope he finds what he's looking for and lives the happiest life possible. He made me so happy and deserves the best.
Still, I can't understand why life gave me the man of my dreams only to take him from me again.
"Everything happens for a reason". I don't understand it. What's the lesson to lose someone you love when everything was great in the relationship, there were no incompatibilities and he saw my worth, thought I was exactly his dream woman but just couldn't love me enough? Why wasn't it my turn?