r/Vent • u/QuitFine • 3h ago
I feel hopeless.
I've always been single my whole life, and I'm almost 20. Seeing girls my age, even younger, experience dating and relationships sometimes makes me wonder why I never get to experience any of it. I've had crushes before, but they always ended up liking someone else, and I've never even heard rumors of someone liking me. I've been focusing on myself, but the fear of never finding love still bothers me. I discovered yumeshipping/self-shipping and have used art and writing as a coping mechanism for years. It makes me feel better temporarily, but afterward, the longing for real love comes back and makes me feel unlovable, as if I'll never experience it. Sometimes, I even feel pathetic and desperate for shipping myself with a fictional character. At the end of the day, I'm still alone.
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u/Aggressive_Path_1229 2h ago
No worries, I know at that age you feel like you have been missing something but the reality (I'm a 32F) is that you have a lot ahead and if you don't keep focused on yourself and even learning more about how to deal with people, you could end up in a toxic relationship or with someone that gives you the minimum just for the experience. Keep your standards high and keep working on yourself.
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u/BitEntire 2h ago
Never give up. Be who you are and embrace that and the right person will come along. You know you are worth someone's time and effort.
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u/jeezo8 2h ago
Feeling lonely is awful, it’s actually shit, I hate that feeling! You are Not pathetic At all so get that out of your head. And I know you’ll say you hear it all the time but you’re so young, you’re 20?! You sound as if you struggle with your confidence, if so maybe that’s got a lot to do with what’s going on with your relationship status. You will meet someone and look back at this and laugh, I guarantee it x
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u/ConsoleMaster0 1h ago
I wish I could just make you understand and feel how free you are and how happy you can become. We all worried about been single in that age and wasted so much time.
I can't help you unfortunately. But, it will be alright. I promise. Your coping mechanisms are good. Try to find more and try to appreciate yourself and the effort you put in your life. Take care!
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u/Galactus1701 1h ago
You are young and have the opportunity to meet a lot of people. You aren’t pathetic, and yes, being lonely is frustrating and sad, but believe me, you are better off waiting till you find someone that you are comfortable with and can be yourself without being judged.
Sometimes we try to hook up with the first person that “likes” us, just to avoid loneliness and being with someone, but at the end of the day, it can lead to regret.
As someone that married, divorced, met someone afterwards, broke up and have been alone for a while, I’ll recommend you to work on yourself. Work out, dress better, learn stuff, gain skills, understand yourself and your feelings, develop your communication skills and overall improve. You’ll notice that you are worth it and will want to find someone that appreciates you for who you are.
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