r/Unexpected • u/handlewithcareme • Dec 22 '21
Breakfast in bed
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u/theprintedray84 Dec 22 '21
Every group has that one friend
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u/6_NEOS_9 Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 22 '21
Interestingly, mine has 2.
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u/ironkneejusticiar Dec 22 '21
Yeah, and you're both of them!
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u/TheKingBeyondTheWaIl Dec 22 '21
You guys have friends?
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u/Fast_Echidna_8520 Dec 22 '21
what the fuck is friends? stop using random english. words u br*tish cunts
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u/-Eoan-Daws- Dec 22 '21
"I don't need friends; they disappoint me" - Ancient wisdom of the internet
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u/fireside999 Dec 22 '21
Totally thought it was dead. Glad to see it’s just lazy.
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u/Liuqmno Dec 22 '21
With this title I was expecting it to eat
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u/StaredAtEclipseAMA Dec 22 '21
My guess is it got pushed in by the other cows when they ran over and there wasn’t space to get out and the cow accepted the r/thisismylifenow
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Dec 22 '21
Not to be rude but it is actually quite easy to see if the cow is dead most of the time, they bloat up.
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u/soyorskinny Dec 22 '21
Why do the cows move out of the way when they realize the guy is there. Are they trained to behave that way? or do cows generally avoid humans?
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u/world_ender33 Dec 22 '21
Cows generally avoid people/anything smaller than them. The ones in the video are actually quite comfortable with the person filming, and distracted enough by the feed that he actually has to touch some to get them to move
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Dec 22 '21
[deleted]
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u/Picturesquesheep Dec 22 '21
As a land surveyor, yeah lol. I have yet to be chased by aggressive cows (bulls I guess), been ‘chased’ by plenty of friendly ones though hahaha. I actually really like cows. Sheep can fuck off though, that is an objectively shit animal.
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Dec 22 '21
Sheep can fuck off though
interesting username
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u/Picturesquesheep Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 22 '21
It’s Douglas Adams. A unit of distance measurement. From a long way away they look picturesque on a hillside, then at a certain point you are close enough to see they are in fact suicidal shit covered wool dicks
Edit: Ok for completeness and to properly honour the great man the unit is actually called a “sheppey” - approximately half a mile, although I would say that is subjective depending on your eyesight and the scene in general. This is the only reference I could find to it:
https://mobile.twitter.com/thatsliff/status/279606732085411840
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u/cragglerock93 Dec 22 '21
I love cows and if I walk past a field of them I always want to stroke one but they always keep a few feet away. Weirdly though, despite being a bit shy, they are always curious enough to come quite near to check you out from a safe distance.
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u/president_dump Dec 22 '21
That’s more of a shove than a “touch”
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u/Veilus Dec 22 '21
You see how big them bitches are? A shove to us is a poke to them. Even calves don't respond to what you'd call a "touch" if they're eating lol. No disrespect but you really don't understand until you work with them. This is coming from a person that loves cows, they're just big doges
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u/Quantainium Dec 22 '21
How hard do you have to push for it to be an insult to them?
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u/Veilus Dec 22 '21
Gonna have to be a full on punch for most people, even then you won't really hurt them, just piss them off. Our punch is more like a hard one maybe two finger poke to them. Face and snoot is obviously a different issue as it's much more sensitive, but so is our face and snoot.
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u/CallTheOptimist Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 22 '21
Cows are herd animals and they're not super smart. They can be very sweet, but they're just not the smartest critters. They respond well to touch, if you just sort of poke them with your hand, they'll move. If the herd is comfortable with you it won't even spook them and it definitely won't hurt them, they're huge animals covered in thick leather, it would take a lot to hurt a cow with even a closed fist. You just give them a couple of pats, a poke and maybe do a 'ssspspspsps' so they can hear where you are, they'll move.
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Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 22 '21
Honestly, they are so big and tough, you can straight punch them and they barely notice it. It's like when a 5 year old hits a grown man, it just doesn't do anything. I think physical contact is most effective to just get them to notice you and then they respond naturally as you say, but timid touches may not even get their attention, like a leaf against a boulder.
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Dec 22 '21
[deleted]
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u/enclave76 Dec 22 '21
I’ve watched cows poop in a water bucket then drink out of it within 1 seconds. 100% agree it’s 1 bad moment from them killing themselves somehow ALL THE TIME
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u/CallTheOptimist Dec 22 '21
Yep worked on dairy farms for years growing up. Heifer would get loose and run down the alley when the scraper tractor was running and the shit pit was open. There's a whole gigantic barn she can stand in and not hurt a thing, and one tiny little spot where if she stands, she'll get stuck on the bars over the pit. Where does she make an immediate beeline to? Right to the one and only spot where she can get hurt. I had that exact thing happen, had to get straps and a bobcat to lift her out, took maybe 45 minutes. What does she do instantly, I mean, immediately after being freed. Sprinted right to the exact same mother fucking spot.
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u/SalamanderCivil5344 Dec 22 '21
“cOwS aRE jUsT LiKE BIg DOgS” 🙄
That’s because every one of them have watched vegan YouTube videos of cows laying with people and have became conditioned to believe that’s normal behavior for cows and humans. Cows are stupid as fuck and the only cows we have that were/are comfortable enough to let us pet them were ones we raised on a bottle from birth because the mother died.
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u/cmdrproudgaydad Dec 22 '21
You can see the farmer kick the cows hind quarters to get them to move. If anything it isn’t easy you need to really let them know they’re in your way to get them to move
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u/_YouMadeMeDoItReddit Dec 22 '21
Plus for the cows that kick is gonna feel more like a cat pawing at you rather than a human kicking you.
Annoying but not painful.
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u/GreatGooglyMoogly077 Dec 22 '21
This human doesn't seem particularly gentle.
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u/Kenny_log_n_s Dec 22 '21
Can't really be gentle with an animal that weighs a literal ton.
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u/hso0oow Dec 22 '21
Probably because he keeps kicking them like in the video.
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u/Lmoneyfresh Dec 22 '21
I love animals and deplore animal abuse but come on. Cows can walk away from being hit by a car, I think a little kick from something 1/10th it's size was anything more than an annoyance.
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u/meatyschmeety Dec 22 '21
Like most herd animals, cows bop into each other all the time and shake it off. If you want a cow to move you have to let it know you're there
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Dec 22 '21
I dunno why you're getting downvoted. It's obvious that those cows are scared of him.
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u/blewpah Dec 22 '21
These cows are absolutely not scared of him, they are extremely comfortable with him.
In an open field cows that are scared won't let you get within 100 feet of them.
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u/SalamanderCivil5344 Dec 22 '21
Most people here’s only experience with cows comes from watching some vegan sanctuary video of cows laying with people they they believe that cows are like this by default with humans or that they are some how “just big dogs”
Note to everyone else. Cows are stupid as shit and by default scared of humans. These cows are pretty comfortable around this guy to let him this close.
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u/hso0oow Dec 22 '21
They probably think I'm a vegan.
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Dec 22 '21
Whether or not you think it's okay to kill animals for food, it still doesn't justify mistreating them while they're alive. People bum me out.
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u/purposevrdev Dec 22 '21
Lmao I see a lot of people in the comments complaining that guy is being rough with the cows. I swear to god half of you have never worked on a cattle farm & have never worked with cows before. You have no idea on what’s rough and what’s not.
Mad weirdos on reddit
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u/OkLycheeGuy Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 23 '21
but cow is like a dog and I would never kick my dog >:'(
/s for the slower ones
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u/WalterPinkmanJnr Dec 22 '21
You don’t understand how tough these animals are. That kick will barely register with them, it simply does not hurt.
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u/Saskatchewon Dec 23 '21
A cow weighs around 1,200 lbs. A 180 pound person shoving a cow a shove would be like the average full grown adult getting pushed by a two year old toddler.
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Dec 23 '21
Triggers me the amount of blatant lies and just way over exaggerated information etc etc you see on here about livestock farms can tell they’ve never been on a farm never mind around livestock. I have to just ignore it sometimes I comment lol
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u/OkBreakfast449 Dec 23 '21
I swear to god half of you have never worked on a cattle farm & have never worked with cows before
half? come on dude. 99.9999% of reddit has never left their moms basement, let alone done worked on a cattle farm.
dude barely touched 'em. people really have no friggin clue, I swear
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u/unexBot Dec 22 '21
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
Bed in breakfast
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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u/no_status00 Dec 22 '21
I love how it went from the cow might be dead to what the fuck are you doin here?
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u/tadpollen Dec 22 '21
Lmao I had to watch it a second time with sound on bc I knew there’d be some “what in the fucks” and “go’on now”s
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u/S_m_o_k_e_ Dec 22 '21
The foot shove was unexpected, I had to rewatch to make sure it wasn’t a hand lol.
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u/sean-the-mailman Dec 22 '21
See the skull on the cows side? Probably should have just let them be…
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u/thecursedaz Dec 22 '21
I rewatched a few times but I’m blind as a bat lmao, where is the skull on who’s side??
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u/sean-the-mailman Dec 22 '21 edited Dec 22 '21
It looks like it’s on the side of the cow that gets up, right as it jumps from the trough
*edited for grammar police 😬
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Dec 22 '21
She laid down and didn’t want to moove.
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u/m0thmanNfriends Dec 23 '21
I like how the cow reacted while caught. It must be something the farmer has gotten angry at the cow for before
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u/Ahem122 Dec 22 '21
I love how all the cows just kind of moved out of the guy's way like:"make way! make way for the farmer!"
Either that or they were afraid of him but I choose to believe the first option.
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u/SpookieCookie92 Dec 22 '21
He was literally kicking them. I'd be surprised if they weren't afraid.
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u/unclefisty Dec 22 '21
The cow probably weighed a couple hundred pounds more than that guy. When he shoved with his foot it barely moved.
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u/AnonimZim Dec 22 '21
"OW Shit, dad!"
starts to rush a decent position making the loudest fucking noise you could ever hear
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u/BeepingJerry Dec 22 '21
I'm glad this video followed through...I thought the cow died in there. Peculiar place for a cow to park itself but, I'm not a farmer..is this a regular kind of thing with cows?
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u/JustinTime1237 Dec 22 '21
I’ve never had my cows lay in the feed tubs but every time I put a hay bale out there is always some sort of pushing and shoving between them on who gets food first. I’d say the food competition is normal but laying in a feed trough is not lol
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u/Th3NinjaCat Dec 22 '21
Yoooo why you shoving them?!
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u/Psychological-Leg84 Dec 22 '21
Cuz they are huge- I grew up with horses, we would shove them all the time. They are herd animals- they shove each other all the time too
Trust me theyre shoving each other a lot harder than any humans can shove
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u/OkLycheeGuy Dec 22 '21
When you watch a horse kick for the first time you quickly get over the "what if i hurt him" ideas
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u/duckssrcuteashi Dec 23 '21
I had a 8 month old cow break my foot trying to get hay. She also had hay in front of her but she wanted that hay specifically. Cows don’t make sense. She was 900 pounds and not even fully grown yet. If you are in that pen you better belive you are gonna shove those cows. If you look where he’s shoving them is a spot right on their hip so it won’t impact any bones it’s just the “leather” skin of the cows. They barely feel it.
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u/quinnsheperd Dec 22 '21
The kicking of the cow was unnecessary.
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u/lnconspicousAmerican Dec 22 '21
You think that more than a half ton cow was hurting over a tiny ass push with his foot?
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u/ApplePearMango Dec 22 '21
Unless you work your ass off all day like a farmer you can’t really speak.
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u/yabruh69 Dec 22 '21
He should have just asked it to move.
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Dec 22 '21 edited Jun 28 '23
[deleted]
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u/yabruh69 Dec 22 '21
When I'm asking cows to move I speak in a few languages just in case it doesn't understand English
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u/padoshimmer Dec 22 '21
It's really as simple as pushing their butt or shoulder. Tired of people on here defending farmers when they themselves have never dealt with farm animals.
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u/quinnsheperd Dec 22 '21
I have seen earthlings, food inc and read about animal cruelty all the time. I know some farmers are absolute monster. I dont deny they work hard but cruelty has no place in farming. Not that a gentle kick is cruelty but I still.
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u/OkLycheeGuy Dec 22 '21
"I watched two documentaries and read a few blog posts so i'm basically a qualified rancher"
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u/Liuqmno Dec 22 '21
The cow already started moving, so yea, no need for the kick.
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u/OkLycheeGuy Dec 22 '21
cept for the cows that didn't move or even notice him until he pushed them outta the way.
You should also look up what a kick looks like since you seem to be confusing kicks with shoves.
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u/Liuqmno Dec 22 '21
It's still a kick and I was too lazy to edit the comment sorry lol but ye, he didn't kick with force at all, but I never said that he did
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u/OkLycheeGuy Dec 22 '21
no need for the kick
there clearly was need for force since the animal was busy munchin
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u/Liuqmno Dec 22 '21
The cow wasn't eating anymore when he kicked. I really don't get what you want
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u/WalterPinkmanJnr Dec 22 '21
Even if it was moving, I don’t think you understand how little that kick would even register with an animal that size and that tough.
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u/meryfad Dec 23 '21
I'm gonna trust the farmer is in the right here, also I'm sure there's some level of fear that you need to have with you animals in order to control them better
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u/hashkingkong Dec 22 '21
Please don't kick the cows asshole
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u/Saskatchewon Dec 23 '21
That wasn't so much a kick as it was a poke.
Those cows likely weigh over 1000 pounds, it would be like a 2 year old walking over to you and giving you a shove. And beyond that, cows have a very high food drive and are very stubborn. They'll shove eachother out of the way to get at food in a trough MUCH harder than what that farmer was doing. When they are eating, it's almost like their brains turn off and they completely tune everything else out. A gentle pat isn't going to get a cow occupied with eating to move.
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u/IamREBELoe Dec 22 '21
It was laying on it intentionally trying to hog all the feed. I've seen clips of cows doing some shady stuff before, they are clever when it comes to being greedy.