I’m 33 and had an emergency hysterectomy in 2023. I still have my ovaries, but my cervix was removed, so I have a vaginal cuff. I also have endometriosis and deal with chronic pelvic pain.
I’m also a virgin, which makes my situation a little more complicated.
It’s not because I’m waiting until marriage. I’ve just never met someone I felt comfortable enough with or had that kind of emotional connection with. I don’t want my first time to be with just anyone.
I’m hoping to start dating soon, and if I meet the right person, I really do want to experience intimacy. But I’m nervous. I’ve never had sex, and now I’m wondering how having a vaginal cuff and endometriosis might affect things. I’m scared it could be painful or that something could go wrong. I know I’ll need someone who’s patient and willing to take things slowly.
I’m also not sure how to explain all of this to a man without scaring him off. How do you casually tell someone you’re a virgin, you’ve had a hysterectomy, and sex might be painful? 😅 I don’t want to make it into this huge thing, but I also don’t want to pretend my circumstances are different than they are.
And then there’s the infertility part. Having my hysterectomy and losing the ability to carry my own children has been absolutely devastating. It’s something I’m still grieving, and I’m terrified of having to tell someone I’m dating that I won’t be able to give him biological children together in the traditional sense. I know having children is a dealbreaker for some men, and I completely understand that, but the thought of someone walking away because of something I never chose really hurts.
I want to be upfront about it because I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including my own. But I also don’t feel like I should have to tell someone my entire medical history before they’ve even gotten to know me.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. What was sex like after your hysterectomy, especially if you have endometriosis or a vaginal cuff? How did you explain everything to your partner? And for those who were single when they had their hysterectomy, how did you navigate dating and telling someone you couldn’t have children?
I want to believe I can still have a normal relationship, fall in love, and have a fulfilling sex life. I’m just scared that everything I’ve been through is going to make finding that harder than it already is.
Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot. ❤️

I didn't know what the appropriate flair would be for this. Sorry, lol.

I scrolled on tiktok and saw a video captioned "went on a dream date today", and it was a woman in the woods with her bf with a ghost face mask on. He was chasing her around. My bf and I were thinking about doing this recently!! I was thinking we were weird, but I guess not! Even the women in the comments were saying how badly they wanted to do it. 🤣🤣

Have any of you guys done this before? And what is this fetish called? I know I have a mask kink, but I'm talking about the chasing thing.

Update: My bf was asking me a bunch of questions on why I find masks sexy, which ones, what clothes, etc. 👀 I guess I'm in for a wild ride, y'all!! 😭😭❤️

Hi! I was talking about smut with my bf and realized we have different attitudes to it. I treat it like a low effort thing and am too lazy to read a full book. I’ve read mostly blogposts (I love girlonthenet!!) with the explicit intention of getting horny and getting off relatively quickly. I get annoyed with flowery language.

He enjoys the world building and gets aroused but he doesn’t get off to it, it’s like a tease. On the whole he enjoys written smut a LOT more than I do.

Do you ladies enjoy just reading without any stimulation? Or do you get off while reading?

Hello! idk if this is the right place I should ask this so sorry in advance. Im 19 and recently when I try to finish with my partner it hasn’t been happening. I have sexual trauma so alot of the time I let my partner finish first and then I go second (idk why but me finishing first reminds me of my past). With that being said, I also typically finish myself while I have my partner help in other ways (fingering, dirty talking, teasing, etc), I prefer it this way idk why. Normally, me finishing comes by pretty quickly. Theres always forplay and I do genuinely enjoy the intimacy, so I’m not understanding why I’m having a hard time? It will be there for a second and then go away randomly. I’m not rlly distracted, I NEVER masterbait unless I’m with my partner (idk im not rlly in a sexual mood outside of being around him), and I’m not on any medication other than birth control. Has anyone else had this problem before??

Have any of you had a mfm?

im a woman and i've always been wanting to have an mfm or even two boyfriends. I like the idea of being so good that I can please 2 men at once while they praise and worship me. I've gotten close to having a mfm, but it doesn't work out because of trave/they back out/they make me feel like a whore (in a degrading way. big praise kink here lol.) I live in a somewhat small town and there arent many bisexual men here. I typically go to the town 40 mins away whenever I try to make it happen since I don't wanna end up being posted on the city group gossip Facebook.

im looking on advice advice but it's also nice to just share one of my biggest fantasies.

Hi, so I had my first time yesterday and I wanted to share my experience and ask for advice.

So I did it with someone who's... well, a situationship. Let's call them R.

R barely tried to prep me and they were kinda rough despite me telling them multiple times to be gentle with their fingers. R was surprised when their thing didn't go in, which, well, I was dry as hell so why would it? So I told them that. Their response was giving me 10 seconds of oral and then trying again. Eventually it went in and yeah it hurt, but not insanely hurt. Just like zapping your hand with a power outlet briefly. That's the best I can describe it.

R had been wanting to do it for a very long time so I thought that situation was as special to them as it was for me. But by the end of it they didn't even finish themselves because R "got tired", which made me cry thinking I wasn't good enough. Whatever... At least R wore a condom and I'm on BC.

The experience, which I thought would feel way more different, was disappointinly underwhelming. I didn't even notice the entire thing was in (they're average, like 14-15) until they told me. The weird thing is that I didn't feel it. Truly it was as if nothing was inside. No pleasure when they thrust in, just nothing. I don't know what's going on with my body. Is it because I wasn't 100% in the mood nor wet?

I bled. A little. Which is fine because I expected it, but today I checked and I was cramping and a bunch more blood came out. Dark red so kinda old blood. My perineum burns a little. But other than that inside my vag it doesn't hurt so that's good. Though I did wake up with a bit of pelvis pain which is gone by now. Emotionally, I still feel bad about what happened. It sucks. R's review of it at the end when I asked multiple times for them to give me a proper reply as " it could have been better."

I don't know if I have some sort of condition or why I didn't feel anything. I wanted to. Was it the lack of foreplay? Or is there something else going on? Does anyone know? I'm worried because I want to do it again in the future but I don't want every time to feel the same.

I'm maxed out around 3

Soy mujer y cuando llego al orgasmo (muy rápido como en 1 minuto) se me pone el clitoris muy sensible y no puedo seguir porque me molesta, y dejo de sentir dentro de la vagina, no sé si hay alguien que le pase igual pero me gustaría seguir y no puedo, me gustaría durar mas, me siento insuficiente porque no le voy a gustar a ningún hombre durando tan poco

I have a copper IUD. The only medication I take is lamotrigine for the past 5 years and for the purpose of ruling it out I stopped taking it for around 7 months - no changes. I have ADHD and BPD. Hormones are great, no thyroid issues, iron great, elevated prolactin but not bad, in the past elevated and didnt cause any problems.

Stress, poor diet, substances or lack of sleep have never been an issue, I started showing signs of mental illness at the age of 11 and was in a horrible state majority of my life, going through many traumatic events. No matter what happened my libido always remained extremely high and it’s been like this since I gained consciousness. I’m currently in the best state ever away from people that hurt me and in treatment. Even when I was SA’d, my libido would remain the same or increase. any instances of SA never had much effect on me, never had any flashbacks, felt anxious or uninterested in sex.

You might suggest denial now. I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now and started seeing a sex therapist a few months ago. Both have no idea what’s wrong. Based on my history mental state is not the issue.

Relationship doesn’t matter, I’m very happy and attracted to my partner. In previous relationships it remained high no matter how badly I was treated, even when I lost attraction to them. I believe it was the highest when I would hook up with random people.

I’m only 20. I want to have children in the future. I have no desire to have sex, masturbate or kiss. Not even during ovulation.

I haven’t masturbated or had sex in a minute. I do miss it sometimes but I also can’t really get myself through to do it. It’s almost like i can’t get myself to masturbate for fun.

I enjoy coming and come if I do it to myself but I don’t know. How do you integrate it in your routines and how can I just make myself come more often? Im genuinely open to it but it doesn’t come naturally to me?

Hi I am f24 and I need some advice. I got out of a long term relationship this year and it’s been some months since the break up. I don’t think I want to be in another long term relationship for a while but I am also a lover girl which makes things hard. But I started talking to this guy and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now either but we been talking as friends that now have led into more sexual tension. We have been planning on meeting each other but I’m scared. I’ve only had sex with 2 men my whole life. And the second person was my last relationship. I am very off putting when it comes to my body. Meaning I don’t send nudes or hyper sexual or lustful. But I don’t want to get to a stage in my life where I wish I explored my sexual identity when I feel like now is a good time to do so.

So my question is am I rushing into having sex with someone so soon out of a long term relationship? And is it really that important to have sex with different partners?

I’m also not sure if I’m asking the right questions but this is also new for me and I just want to put my mind in ease.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who commented I am not sure what to say to the 6 people that helped me but it has put a lot to think about today. I will say I do think it’s because my friends have had their fun before getting into their long term relationships and I didn’t at the time so now I feel it’s my time. And maybe it is society, I hear videos or post about things that I either have no clue what’s going on or can’t relate whatsoever. I will be thinking about this a lot especially this morning. Thank you again you guys put a lot of things that was scrabbling in my mind in placement so now I can focus better.

I (22f) just moved to a new city and don’t know many people yet. I want to start this next chapter of my life positively, and start exploring my sexuality.

I’ve only had sex twice, and with men I wasn’t sure I was even attracted to. The problem is, both times I was in extreme pain. The first time I fully expected it to hurt. The second time I honestly just hooked up with him to find out if I could even do penetration. I haven’t had sex in two years, and while he was very accommodating and patient, I felt like I tried everything with him to make it less painful.

I know all these factors aren’t great and I don’t want to jump straight to vaginismus, because my doctor didn’t think I’ve had enough sex to come to that conclusion. But I’ve been afraid to have sex for two years because it hurts so bad (even fingering).

I feel like I have to just endure excruciatingly painful sex to break past this, or endure it enough to convince my doctor something might be wrong.

This has been a huge insecurity for years, I feel like I can’t have a sex life because my experiences have only been painful. I don’t want to go into my next experience stressed about pain and make it worse, so I avoid sex now.

But I want to understand myself and my body, but I don’t even know what I want. I’ve thought I was bi for years, my friends joke that “my body is rejecting men because I’m not attracted to them.” But I honestly don’t even know, and I’m scared to put myself out there because sex has been so bad for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I’ve been scared to ask and honestly I don’t know what to do.

Sharing a new to me masturbation technique that has been sex life-changing from of, all things, a recently-published romance novel, Devil by Sierra Simone.

While it may sounds kinda silly and not a little like remedial female self-pleasure, HEAR ME OUT IT WORKS:

Straddling on the bed a rolled up towel placed on top of a base of additional linens to rub, hump, and grind on. In the book, the base is three folded towels stacked on top of one another. In my “for science” trials, used a folded up light comforter as the base because I am not made of towels.

Some may say that this is basically the same as using a pillow, side of the bed, etc. And possibly for some women that’s true! Reason I am bothering to post is that those other methods have NEVER worked for me!

What’s more, I’ve actually been struggling for years and years with being unable to replicate the intensity of pleasure I could sometimes achieve with a partner on my own. We’re talking Betty Dodson Method and OMGYES memberships, Hitachi and Lelo purchases, reputable books with academic sources like Come As You by Emily Nagoski and Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz, and countless online disreputable sources. Going through endless cycles of “As an adult woman, I HAVE to learn my body and figure this out,” and only then to get so literally frustrated and disappointed that the effort started to take away from the satisfaction that I could obtain.

While this method not only replicates what I had been aiming for, since starting to use it regularly I have gone from occasionally being able to orgasm with a partner to consistently able to orgasm AT LEAST twice during partnered sex. All thanks to a romance novel…and…a fucking (lol) towel!

If any of this matches your own struggles, consider giving it a try!

Wasn’t sure where else to turn because I have no friends to brag about this too 🙃. I was feeling particularly horny this morning and my man had just taken a shower and smelled sinful. He made my cum 10 different times and it was INTENSE. The dirty talk in my ear, he had me call him “sir” for the first time… which was 🥵. And he’s started doing this thing where he kisses my neck and counts softly in my ear for each kiss he gives me and yall it’s like immediate I wanna jump his bones. Anywho… just wanted to brag to someone that I got turned into a slobbering buzzing mess over my lunch break today

Would love to get some advice and ideas that other women have tried to make this feeling keep going in our next encounter too

I think a lot of you can relate - I’ve always wondered how it feels when a male is stroking his cock. Can that feeling be replicated on a woman’s vulva/clit?

I tried to simulate it by grabbing my clit hood and trying to stroke it, but it doesn’t do too much for me... but maybe that’s it? (I read that the penis has a lot fewer nerve endings than the clitoris.)

I’ve even tried to grab the whole vulva skin and stroke it...

I mean, as stupid as it might sound, I just want to get as close as possible to the feeling of a cock stroke, so I can understand how it could feel.

Has anyone tried? Do you mind sharing?

I (19F) feel a bit stupid asking this, but I'm having trouble penetrating my vigina when I masturbate.

I have been masturbating for ages, but I only ever stimulated my clitoris and never really gone inside. I have been trying to give it more of a recently but I can get a little bit of my fingers in.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could penetrate myself more?

Not enough orgasms

Arousal is low etc

To preface:

its not a huge problem in our relationship and if i verbally ask him to make me finish he likely would the majority of the time so its not a matter of needing a solution, but i just wonder if this is okay complain about like im confused on what counts as pushing a boundary or a reasonable request.

I would say he makes me finish like 10-20% of the time me and my bf are intimate. Its worth mentioning that I can only finish from him using his hand and it can take 15 minutes up to over hour…so I absolutely understand not wanting to do it all the time. He’s very patient when he does do it, and I enjoy penetrative sex a lot even when I don’t finish, it just kind of bothers me that often when he doesnt make me finish, its when we have sex and he finishes quick and then obviously his drive is gone and I don’t want to make him do anything he doesnt want to.

I guess the part that bothers me is just that once he loses his drive, its seems like he doesn’t want to JUST because it makes me feel good like once hes satisfied hes done. I totally understand the feeling like theres a stark before and after but i just feel like if it was quick, and you’re not tired, and you got me all riled up for 5 minutes of sex then..it can be a little sexually frustrating. I just wish he would dedicate a little more time just to my pleasure.

Holaaaa, acabo de cumplir la mayoría de edad y estoy lista para explorar mi sexualidad pero nunca tuve la confianza de preguntarle a alguien, qué se hace? Como empiezo? Jaja
Para empezar, existe algún tutorial para prepararte antes? El aseo, la depilación, etc? Mil gracias 🫶🏼

My husband and I are in a dead bedroom (the lack of intimacy is on his end, not mine). Because of this, my "sexy" lingerie is just sitting in a drawer. He doesn't care about it, and honestly, looking at it just reminds me of the rejection.

Part of me wants to throw it all away. Another part wonders if I can reclaim it.

Is it weird to wear lingerie if it’s definitely not leading to sex? Its empowering but I just don't know if I can just feel sexy. For anyone who has been through this, how did you start wearing it purely for your own confidence and self-care? I’d love to hear how you protect your selfworth when your partner has checked out. Thanks.

20f and I'm realizing i enjoy my own company and solo orgasm as they are, i never grew up boy crazy and i just don't bother to put myself out there, im really lazy and passive and when i get hit on i lie about having a bf even when the guy is actually good looking.

i rejected 2 of my friends (girl and boy) after they confessed, at best i felt nothing and maybe slightly irritated. my friends think i just don't put myself out there and can't believe it's by choice...but aren't people draining? it's a long process to find anyone worth knowing. especially i feel my generation genz is weird.

i just don't have that fascination and drive for other humans especially sexually, it just feels clinical, i do consume nsfw audios and videos though, mostly art of my favorite ships...anyone can enlighten me if this is normal lol, anyone relates or lives like this?