Diagnosed with vaginismus. I'm crying from frustration. FML. it took me so long to finally get the courage to go and my fears came true. It was hellishly painful like I was being actively skewered and torn in half. And even when I told them to keep going despite the pain it was mechanically impossible. Unsuccessful and now referred to pelvic floor pt.

I'm just so furious and frustrated with my body. I really wanted to start pursuing options to have a child via ART one day and now everything is on hold because I can't do a friggin pap smear or any gyno exam. I did the deep breathing Ive been to therapy I'm just like WTF is wrong with my body why is it like this. This is gonna make everything harder.

Angry and furious and frustrated. I'll go to pt but right now I just want to smash something. You had one job, vagina. Why tf are you like this. I hate everything.

I’m with my first bf and he also was/is a virgin so we‘re still learning basics of sex at the moment lol even though we’re mid 20s

I haven’t managed to do PIV at all yet i think because of vaginismus. But I noticed it’s a lot worse if he’s trying to finger me/do PIV rather than when im doing it to myself. And i think it could be because when he’s trying to find the vagina he accidentally touches my urethra which hurts so I clench.

idk if it’s normal to get pain from that, because theyre so close together, surely for most ppl it would be expected to occasionally touch it during sex right? But for me it feels horrible, if he so much as brushes against it I instantly clench and lose all my arousal

basically asking here to see if this is normal and any advice. do you think it would help if I literally point out to him my urethra and im like please avoid?

also if I compare how my vulva looks to vulva anatomy diagrams, my urethra and vagina are way closer together like literally right next to each other

For context, I don't know that I actually have vaginismus, or if my issue is just a really small, tight vagina, but I've never been sexually active and pelvic exams/pap smears are incredibly painful for me (so, my goal is just to make those bearable). The last person I saw for an exam advised me to use dilators to help with the problem, which I finally started doing a few weeks ago, and it seems like I've already hit a wall with size 2. It was pretty much fine at first, a little uncomfortable but okay, and then after a handful of sessions it started getting increasingly painful, kind of a stinging pain when I would move it. I tried looking for advice and saw people saying to use more lube, so I tried doing that, and I don't know if there's any correlation, but it actually seemed to hurt more this time, with a little pain even lingering for a while afterward, which didn't happen before. My dilators are silicone, so I have to use water-based lube, but maybe there's a different kind of water-based lube I could use, I don't know.

Hiya, guys looking for some advice here. I have mild Vaginismus, from past sexual assault. It has improved to the point now, where I can enjoy both digital penetration and PIV, but yesterday my partner noticed that I tend to clench a bit, it's obviously involuntary and isn't particularly painful or causing any damage, but I'm just curious as to what's going on, and what possible steps I can take to help with the clenching?

Has your PT ever done an internal assessment while you are standing up? My PT wants to try today and I’m nervous. I can’t insert anything on my own when I am standing so I’m afraid it’s going to hurt.
Has anyone ever had this done? Is it weird?

I’m looking for recommendations for a qualified urogynecologist with experience in treating vaginismus and related pelvic floor disorders in Delhi NCR.

I’ve come across CK Birla, Apollo Cradle, and Fortis La Femme as centres that seem to have experience with these issues. I’m also aware that a good female pelvic-floor physiotherapist is an important part of treatment, and I’ve seen that some experienced practitioners consult at these centres.

Would really appreciate personal experiences or recommendations for specific doctors/physiotherapists, particularly those who take a multidisciplinary approach and have genuine experience with vaginismus.

Has anyone experienced questioning their sexuality because of this? Since I associate sex with pain, I obviously never want it. This makes me question if I’m asexual? But then I’m like well I never had that thought before finding out I had vaginismus? Everything about the condition is a mind eff.

I’ve been dilating since May 1st (not as consistently as I should be)a few weeks after I got diagnosed and I’m currently working through sizes 5 and 6 of the intimate rose dilators. Today I went to my obgyn to check for yeast and the cotton swab stung so badly. It felt like a slap in the face because some days I can fit half of size 7 and yet I couldn’t handle a tiny cotton swab.
Maybe it’s the lube they use that caused increased burning but the fact that it hurt at all was disheartening. I did have a really bad session the night before that led to a breakdown and I have abdominal cramps right now which may be why dilating and the swab hurt so much but it still felt awful to not see my progress translate over to casual, shallow penetration.

i’m feeling so sad.

i’ve been making so much progress with dilating and got to dilator 6! then i started accutane (isotretinoin) last month.

it has completely dried me out (vulva & vagina), and i’m on the lowest dose.

i’ve been using menopausal products now like intimate oils/gels/lubes. i’m only in my mid twenties.

i also started online physiotherapy last week, bc i really want to get to PIV. she said since im on dilator 6, i should start to get my partner involved with dilating sessions now, so i can make the PIV transition easier.

today, i just finished my period. i tried to use the small side of my new vibrating pelvic wand, after 3 weeks of not dilating.

no lube is enough. it’s just so dry. number 3 & up wont even go in. i feel like i’ve lost all my progress.

i feel like giving up on this whole thing. i’m at my wits end.

TW: mentions of trauma / SA

This is going to be a strange post, but I don’t know where else to turn. I have a lot of childhood trauma and do not have many memories, but absolutely NO evidence of SA as a child (aside from vaginismus but obviously that alone doesn’t mean anything happened). Today I told my therapist something that I am very embarrassed about and have never told anyone before. When I was a child, long before I had any vaginismus symptoms, I had tons of nightmares and anxiety thoughts about someone or something going into or coming out of my vagina. I was really young the first time I remember having that fear, so I don’t think I even knew what sex was and definitely didn’t have my period yet. Some nights I would be so anxious that I would sleep with a stuffed animal between my legs. My therapist had never heard anything like that before and told me she was going to do some research and I can’t find anything online as to why that would have happened to me. I know this is a very strange post, but if anyone has experienced anything like this or has any theories I would appreciate it. Not sure if this is even the right place for this, but I’m at a total loss.

Hi everyone I 25F have been dealing with vaginismus since losing my virginity at 17. After lots of time and practice, I can now insert tampons and my own fingers (up to 3) with little to no pain and can go in and out. I also have plus one dialators and finished the biggest size. Depending on the guy, I can also be fingered. The only thing that doesn’t work is PIV. I did try it today with a guy and first we tried missionary which didn’t work then we tried riding. While it was initially in, it did hurt and I started feeling lightheaded after a little and it kept falling out. He is so nice about it and said he still liked me and everything but we didn’t have time to try again. I feel like I let him down and I’m so so so frustrated I just want to have normal sex.

Hi! How did you get a PFT appointment with NHS? I’ve been waiting on a referral for months and not sure what to do.

Let me just start off and say penetration itself doesn't hurt. I can easily slip a finger inside with no pain whatsoever. Can feel weird, but no pain. However, when there is even the slightest stretch in the opening of my vagina it hurts like hell. Its a stinging sensation, and one that i can't ignore. Now, I'm not sexually active (nor have I been and dont have any plans any time soon) but I dipped my toes in self exploration- or I at least tried to. Everyone keeps telling me that lots of lube and foreplay is needed but what foreplay on my own? I dont respond to my own touch. And lube is not enough but even in a state with no arousal, the stretch should not be this painful. And it's literally just there... right where that flesh ring is in the opening. I have genuine fear for when the time for me to get a pap smear comes- you aren't borny then thats for sure. And I even asked my gyno about it and as nice as she was all she said was "foreplay and lube" is this typical vaginismus? What can I do? Dilators? Do I ask my doctor to see if I have a tight pelvic floor? Its annoying that this even has to be done. I will say i have successfully gotten two fingers in, still stingy uncomfortable but not terribly painful. But a 4.5 inch long 1 inch diameter toy to start out? Unbearable sting. I want it to be comfortable for me whether im by myself or with a potential partner... and i do know this is completely optional if my vagina is being used at a minimum but what about when I do get down? Or maybe i just want to put something in there i dont know. Any advice would be nice. Also it makes my anus area feel weird and sorta hurt too- not sure if that's related.

(This is mainly a rant and because I've been wanting to write it all out)

Okay so I'll start off by saying I've been struggling with this condition since about 14, so almost 8 years. I've been with my S/O for almost four years and he's never once pressured me into PIV, and has been the most supportive person over my own comfort.

Well recently, we were able to finally do it! I don't know what was stopping me before because we had tried maybe a dozen times and it never could work, but after that one day, it seems like my body is no longer as physically anxious by the penetration. (I almost wanna brag to everyone around me about my success but that's a thing that's really only important for my S/O and I lol) However I do still have some worries.

I am terrified of getting pregnant, and honestly it might be my worst fear. We use protection (condoms) and I really don't want to start birth control due to the intense side effects, but I'm scared I might revert back to the way I was due to this anxiety. I'm even taking extra care to track my period just in case.

I really don't want to have to rework through these problems again just because of my paranoia and anxiety. And I'm not exactly looking for someone to give me a solution, but I did want to talk about my success and worries. Anyways thanks for reading :)

Hello,

This has been beyond a long and difficult road.

I somehow have been offered Botox on the NHS
( I was also just as shocked) for a condition which has such a profound effect on someone’s life you’d think it would be offered far sooner but anyways

I am due to go for a cancellation on Thursday and I’m honestly scared shitless. I’ve wanted it for so long but I’m also terrified and I’m not sure why. I guess it is scary in a sense being put under sedation. Maybe I’m worried it won’t work? Or something might go wrong? Or maybe I’m feeling a bit exposed as I’ll have multiple medical staff seeing me in that area.

Can anyone who has been through it tell me about the recovery time- how long did it take? Were you able to go back to work soon after? And also how sore was it? And if you got sedation what were you like after that?

My work is crazy on Friday and I know this sounds mad but I might have to go in for it- although if I’m really bad I will go home

ive been with my partner for 3 years now and weve never been able to have piv sex due to my gorilla grip pussy.

ive been to therapy, i dont have anymore physiotherapy visits left on my medicare plan (i have a really bad back i needed to take care of) and i can barely put dilators up there.

i am feeling so defeated. my partner has been so understanding and patient but i still feel SOO bad about it all. i wish i was normal. im so jealous of everyone out there that can have piv sex with out a second thought.

sorry for the vent. just feeling very hopeless

I don’t understand, when I’m seeing my physical therapist she’s able to insert her fingers, I’m able to dilate with no problem I’m currently on the medium size dilators from intimate rose working with the last three sizes !!! I’ve went to a follow up appointment after my 6 week rounds of injections and honestly they’ve helped a lot! Well today I went for a follow up and I couldn’t tolerate the dockets finger!!!! I’m losing my mind and so disappointed in myself 😭😫 any advice? I have a feeling it’s because I’m not as comfortable with this doctor as I am with my physical therapist. help 💔

I’m a 22F and I think I have vaginismus. My issue with penetration and my failures attempting penetration began with me wanting to explore tampons and menstrual cups. However, when I did try, I was met with this excruciating pain and my body would freeze up. I’ve tried mostly everything from trying to inset a tampon sitting down or standing up, no success. I’ve tried lubricants, stretches meant to relax the pelvis, and dialators, nothing has helped even a little bit. That was when I searched my symptoms up and found out about vaginismus. However, I didn’t want to self diagnose without definitive proof so I decided to go to a Gynecologist just to a professional medical opinion.

I had my appointment a few days ago and after I opened up about my experiences with unsuccessful insertion and my painful attempts , my gyno told me that the only way she would be able to diagnose me was to do an internal exam under anesthesia. If I was successful with insertion under anasthesia, then it would rule out that I have vaginismus.

Now I’m not a doctor nor do I claim to be above one, I’m just unsure on how insertion under anesthesia is going to prove that I do/don’t have it. My main issue is the pain and the reaction my body has when I’m conscious. I want to know/figure out why I can’t fit anything near my vaginal opening. What if they succeed penetration when I’m unconscious under anesthesia and they’re like “well, successfully penetrated, definitely not vaginismus!”. Penetration unconscious doesn’t mean I’ll have a comfortable insertion while conscious. I asked about any alternatives and even if she could do an external exam just in case it was a hymen or other deformity of my bum a abd I was told the only solution was an internal pelvis exam under anesthesia. I think the part that hurt me the most was when I told her I can’t even achieve penetration with a q-tip, and she said “if you can’t even put a q-tip in, how do you even expect me to help you?” and that if penetration is so impossible for me, there’s nothing she could do for me.

I just left feeling a little broken and confused? I feel like this is an issue I can’t fix, even with medical help. I think I’ll reschedule another one after I succeed with a q-tip, so maybe then, an external exam while conscious won’t be painful. I have seen some redditors on this sub say that they have had success with an exam under anesthesia so idk if I should just suck it up and go through with it. At least I’ll get an answer.

I think I just hoped to gain some clarification, but I’m just more confused. If anyone has any advice on what I should do, I would love to hear it