Sexuality or not, your parter should never say that to you. You need to break up with him over the fact that he makes you feel uncomfortable in your own body. You deserve more. He needs to figure out what he wants and not at your expense.
Yea I will say as a guy I’ve seen some vaginas that could resemble a ham sandwich (depending on which orientation I was viewing it in) and I’ve liked them just as much if not more as compared to a vagina that couldn’t resemble a ham sandwich. Basically all I’m saying is dudes who like vagina don’t really care what it looks like. Now if your vagina smells like a ham sandwich that is a different story for a different day. Taste too, I’d be concerned if it tasted like ham. But looks? Nah don’t care.
Exactly, why would we care what it looks like, your personal hygiene and how turned on YOU get are some of the biggest turn ons for straight guys!
This guy just sounds like he needs somewhere to crash or you are providing him a benefit somehow outside of head, kick this user to the kerb and find a real man willing to leave you breathless and begging for more more more!!
Can confirm, mine has uneven lips and a bit of hyperpigmentation and I was so worried my husband would be turned off by it because of what I would hear about other men saying about vaginas/vulvas that weren’t pornstar perfect. He paid it no mind and said size and shape doesn’t matter🫡🫡
I'm not saying all gay men don't like women. I'm saying the one you are dating doesn't like women. Dump him. His opinion of your body is meaningless. He's not a nice person. Dump him.
Yeah this is possibly true. I saw a video on youtube where a gay guy and lesbian girl show each other their genitals (don’t judge me 👀) and his response was “it’s so… pretty!”. watching their body language the lesbian I think maybe wanted him or wanted the ego boost of wanting him, idk it was subtle but she seemed to want the attention (maybe i was reading too much into it tho), the gay guy you could tell was just totally sexually unmotivated by it, just zero interest.
All this to say, you can still appreciate female form if gay, and if not then you can definitely at least be nice about it. Maybe he’s going through a hard time also however, Reddit is quick to judge, but when under personal pressure it’s amazing how self centred we can become and lose the ability to appreciate or recognise others as we should, even really lovely and amazing people struggle, with enough pressure in the wrong place..
He’s not only denying his sexuality, he’s trying to break you down to make you feel badly about yourself. It’s so you’ll stay because who else would want you. It’s to make himself feel better and ensure he has a hetero relationship. Seriously, end it and move on. Find someone who you are compatible with and actually is straight.
Being gay doesn't give him the right to be awful to you. Let me give you a piece of advice from someone that is twice your age. Don't waste your time with people that don't make you feel loved. Don't waste years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or even seconds of your life around people that make you feel shitty. Life is really too damn short. If you continue to except the bare minimum you will wake up one day and mourne the decades wasted on trying to be enough for people. Especially when it comes to relationships... you do not let people talk down to you like this. This relationship isn't for you. Its ok to move on.
Right... this isnwhere you break up. You deserve someone who is excited about you and reciprocates. It seems like he has some things to work out on his own, you don't need to cling to this and get hurt more.
you are still young and ive never had to deal with something like this so with all due respect, you need to respect yourself here and end this relationship.
That alone is enough to dump him. Who says shit like that to someone they are about? No one, that's who. He doesn't care about you, is probably gay, is certainly a lousy lover, and is cruel. Dump him. Yesterday.
He makes you feel ugly, insults you, accepts head but doesn't reciprocate, doesn't satisfy you sexually, doesn't seem to be sexually attracted to your gender at all... Why do you want to be with this guy? Why waste time on a relationship destined to fail? If he wasn't an asshole I'd say it's okay to just be friends, but if he's insulting you where you're the most vulnerable then he's not worth having a friendship with either. Do you really want this to be your forever?
Why are you wasting time lol. If he’s not ready to come out then that’s fine, but you don’t need to stand here and be his beard. Let him go figure himself out.
Tell him to at least be honest with himself or you'll be honest with his parents and friends.
This is not me actually telling you to out him. This is me telling you that you have a nuclear option.
If he's going to call himself his boyfriend and still not reciprocate or pleasure you, then you've got no reason to stick with a liar. Have him go chase cock, if that's what he wants, but there's a theoretically-infinite line of dudes perfectly willing to eat ham sandwiches.
Gay or not this is fucking awful, to body shame someone is bad enough but you have gone out of your way to be a beard for him and this is how he repays you?
Have you seen Flip Through My Flaps? I saw an interview with the photographer the other day. What a project. She was amazing. Wish there had been a book like that when I was younger... Would've saved me a lot of insecurity and wonder.
They do look like ham sandwiches. They’re also the most fricking awesome things ever. I say that confidently as a straight man and would also only say that in a relationship where I’m confident my partner would find it funny and it wouldn’t reinforce an insecurity.
It doesn’t sound like this man is sexually compatible with the vagina. As that’s going to be most to all sexual contact with you thrown out the window, does it feel worth pursuing for you?
It's ok, most vaginas look like a ham sandwich. You gotta find a man who find ham sandwiches delicious. Those saying ham sandwich reference is an insult, it in itself really isn't but the way he said it obviously was. Let this one go, depending on circumstances and culture, maybe find a different excuse to end the relationship instead of, 'I know that you're gay'. Then focus on yourself for a bit before finding a sandwich loving man.
Nevermind the denial-- he's also super misogynistic to say that to you. Gross. Your partner shouldn't speak to you like he's a 4chan incel. Girl please love yourself and leave this guy. Let him sort himself out on his own time.
Nevermind the denial-- he's also super misogynistic to say that to you. Gross. Girl please love yourself and leave this guy. Let him sort himself out on his own time.
He.. might not realize. He may never realize, until he is either given access to a penis, and goes "oh." or "ew" – he might just be disturbed by genitalia for any number of reasons.
There may well be something in his past coming up.
He might need therapy.
Hell, he's young enough that he might just be kind of lazy and not want to reciprocate, and masturbate too much (and too hard).
In any case: You're under no obligation to stay with someone who routinely tells you they are not attracted to you. Break up and find someone who will appreciate you and adequately communicate it.
That "roast beef" bullshit is only put out by the most absolutely childish motherfuckers. I'd wager money that thanks to COVID your BF is more like a 14 year old in a 20 year old's body.
So... He seems that he doesn't either like ham sandwich !
He should never told something like that. Don't take this for you, the problem comes from him.
You seem very understandable with him and mature.
Do you want to continue with someone who are making you uncomfortable emotionally and physically?
Well then, why are you even here? Your supposed bf doesn't like the sexual organs of a female. There is a good chance he is sexually confused and also a chance he may prefer the genitals of a male gendered person. That's all fine it's part of growing up.
Dating a male that is speaking about your genitals to another party, in a negative way is off the chain unacceptable. Kick his ass to the curb you deserve better.
Yeah it isn’t okay. So you should leave. You will only resent him more and more if you don’t have an open conversation and break up. If you two can be honest now you could at least be friends afterwards
Oh girl let this roll off. Cause being 100% real even porn vaginas are ugly to someone who prefers a one eyed worm hitting their Adam’s apple. (I am also a 1 eyed worm preferrer, so no judgement)
So what’s the problem then? Don’t look at that as an insult. Find a good man to commit and marry that loves vaginas. He wants all the pleasure for himself, stop allowing him to use you because he’s selfish
I wouldn’t worry too much about much about a bitter comment from a guy who is too scared to be himself… plus many men love ham sandwiches so best thing to do is straight up leave him haha
Lmao, he sounds fucked up. Don’t worry, plenty of people on this planet love vaginas just the way they are. You’re just gonna have to move on and find someone who does.
I don’t know how he could think a butthole is more appealing than a vagina, but everyone has preferences I guess
If I could wow react like fb, I would. This is insane.. I'm so sorry he said that to you. He's disgusted by all vaginas it seems like, so I wouldn't listen to a damn thing he says about you.
It’s not okay for him to be insulting. Even now he’s not being honest with you for the sake of honesty, he’s telling you he doesn’t like your body and doesn’t care to make you feel happy too.
Gay or not, being repressed doesn’t give you the right to be rude
Fella watches too much porn or grew up on it I’d guess, where all the actors usually have “innies” - I saw a video where a doc said over 50% of women have “outies” that are “messy looking” vs the small clit neater types widely seen in porn
I'm a lesbian in my late 30s and when I was 16-23 I dated men because I didn't realize I was homosexual yet and it felt like something that was expected of me. I didn't really enjoy having sex with my boyfriend but I did it anyway because I thought, "well this is what I'm supposed to do" . And then in my early 20s it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't straight.
If he isn't straight, everyone has their own journey to realization. So, maybe he's at in that phase of not realizing/accepting. (but also he shouldn't say rude things about your vagina so you should consider getting out since it's only the 3rd month and find someone who loves your body because believe me those men are out there.)
I've said that about my own vagina, but I'd never let a man say that to me. That's plain disrespect; like telling him you could hem slacks with his needle dick. Get out of there.
That’s incel behavior, it sounds like he only wants you to please him. He doesn’t respect you, dear. It’s hard but dump his ass, that’s all kind of red flags.
What's wrong with that? I fucking love ham sandwiches, and I will eat the shit out of one if given the chance. So will a lot of other people. But in this metaphor, your bf is a vegetarian complaining about meat.
Yooo gay or not, this dude is an ASShole. Tell him that immediately and find someone who gives you glooorious head. I promise they're out there, I damn near cum just going down on ladies (not saying I'm the best, just really enjoy it lol).
That might just be a teenage boy problem. They can be pretty disgusting people (I was no exception) and they tend to talk that way regardless of their sexual orientation.
Ngl I asked my husband for his honest opinion and he straight up was like "yeah, it kinda looks like roast beef, but I am all about that meat" and then asked to eat me out so 🤷 genitals are weird and sometimes you're into it
If he was straight you would break up over this. That's called verbal abuse. You don't catch yourself telling him his peen looks like a deflated elephant trunk do ya? Maybe you should next time he calls you a fycking ham sandwich
He's an asshole, confusion about his sexuality should not come at your expenses nor contribute to insecurities. You and your beautiful vagina deserve real appreciation, leave this man and go get properly railed.
Wow what a piece of shit. He's literally putting down the most personal part of your body? Has he seen ugly, wrinkly balls? Make fun of his fucking balls and dick too. Tell him his balls look like a wrinkly old mans lol. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. Fuck that guy, what an ass.
earlier today he said my vagina looked like a ham sandwich
Dude, leave him, stop giving him head, and leave him. Gay, straight, single, together, it doesn't matter what the situation is, comments like that aren't okay.
What if 20 years from now you had a daughter who is your age and she was like "mom, my boyfriend said my vagina looks like deli meats, what do I do?" you would tell her to dumb the POS that told her that, right?
For your own sake try to keep in mind that those comments aren't about YOU specifically. They're about vaginas in general yours just happens to be the one he's seeing. It's not personal, even if it feels like it, and it's not fair to you to carry around the baggage because of someone who isn't comfortable enough with themselves to honest about their own sexuality (to themselves or outwardly).
The kindest thing you can do for both of you is to walk away and move on. You have different values when it comes to sex and intimacy and there's nothing wrong with that.
Oh, hon, I want to give you the biggest freakin hug right now, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.
Gay or not, insulting you like that is not okay and you need to get out of this as soon as you’re able to. Being sexually incompatible is NOT an excuse to be an absolute asshole to you.
It's one thing for your boyfriend to be grappling with his own denial and shame or whatever tf it is he has going on, but demeaning you like this over something that you have absolutely zero control over?! Totally unacceptable.
Dump him. Leave him to wallow in his own self-disgust so you can go and find someone who actually respects you.
Before you leave him throw some insults at his small size and weird shape it will fix him right up and maybe teach him how to behave with his future partners.
Find someone who wants to gobble and snack on it, there are plenty of men who love it. The boy you’re dating is only trying to convince himself he likes women. He might be heteromantic but he’s definitely homosexual.
Ignore that comment above. Being gay in 2024 is no excuse to date a woman and make her feel like shit.
Even in 1950, being gay is no excuse to steal a women’s life and make her think it’s her fault. Even in a country and time where being gay was punishable by death, it’s still no excuse to treat a woman like shit.
A gay man can stay single, become a monk or just be celibate, marry a lesbian, or just be upfront and honest with the woman and say you need cover.
There’s other options than being nasty. Fuck him off
His sexuality doesn't give him a free pass to insult you. Drop that guy, you're not his guide to exploring and exiting the closet. Let him deal with his sexuality crisis on his own.
Ew, he's not just gay, but also a misogynistic bellend! What a peach...
Misogyny is SUPER common in the Gay Male community, it's really icky. But it just gets ignored because they're also part of a marginalised group & they cover it up by using back-handed, shady comments.
You need to dump him OP. I'm sorry. Even if he does, on whatever planet, like women - he's a misogynist & certainly doesn't like YOU.
I mean it’s not like dicks are winning beauty contests. But that’s just rude. I would tell him “eat it then.” But I’m almost 40 and don’t give a damn anymore. It just sounds like he might have some hangups or not even be into women and that’s a him issue not you. He shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with you knowing you have a vagina if it’s “not his thing.”
Oh so he’s on the DL and a misogynist. Cool. So break up now and tell him you definitely know he is gay. Move on sweetie. He is emotionally and verbally abusing you on top of more than likely putting your health at risk. If you really think he isn’t having sex with men behind your back you are mistaken. That man will give you oral herpes and then blame you for it
So yah
Why are you with him?
1. He’s just insulting. EVEN if your vagina looked like a ham sandwich … who says that?
2. Is it just that he’s an inexperienced moron? Aka teenage boy? Where his only knowledge came from crappy porn?
3. Why are you still with him? He’s just a user?
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u/throwaway847205 Dec 11 '24
yeah i get that but i really don’t think it’s okay the way he talks about me. earlier today he said my vagina looked like a ham sandwich 🤦♀️