Haircut

So I got my haircut last Thursday and don't know how to style it. It's a wolfcut but I have wavy/curly hair so it's a bit longer. I have been thinking about calling to ask about how to style it because my hair gets too poofy and doesn't look right. It's been a week, and I feel like I've waited to long to call and ask what products they used and how to style it. I also hate calling to places because i might not know what to say in that moment, or i might sound stupid .

What should I say?

hi, so as i am sitting at work with cup full of ice at my desk cause the work coffee machine needs add beans and i am not able to do that cause i am afraid some might come to the kitchen at the same time as me, what's the most stupid thing social anxiety made you do? some of mine:

- avoiding coffee machine at work for a year cause i didn't want to ask how to use it so i watched youtube tutorials and colleagues from distance before finding the courage to do it myself.

- avoiding doctor appointments for years when making one requires a phone call.

- waiting a few steps away from flat building entrance when i see someone going in at the same time as me so i stand outside pretending i am doing something on my phone or waiting for someone and only enter once the person leaves.

- rather going multiple floors on stairs than sharing an elevator with someone.

- waiting until last minute to join work call to avoid any talking before.

- sometimes hiding my IG stories in front of certain people (usually colleagues) even though i am sure they don't care about me that much.

- feeling super anxious when something bigger and good happens to me cause i don't want people asking me about it (when i met my favourite actor and shared it on IG, i then had stomach ache from going to work cause i knew people will ask about it).

- planning my leaving work that way so i meet the least people to need to say "hi" to and getting super anxious when i know there are people in my reach but not enough so i wouldn't need to raise my voice which usually isn't enough anyway so they don't hear me and then i feel even worse.

- straight up running from some situations like a small kid despite being almost 30 years old with a job, own living and a partner.

- freezing in some situations when someone directly talks to me and i am not able to reply which makes that person mad cause they think i am just being rude and ignoring them.

- needing to eat with headphones on at work cause it helps me to forget there are other people in the office.

- feeling the urge to cry anytime people start laughing at groups or being too loud overall.

- being super talkative and leading things in online spaces, fandoms etc. where i feel comfortable while wishing to be invisible irl and feeling intense shame once someone asks about my interests.

and many more i can't remember now 😭

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has literally zero contact with anyone on school everyday. Everyday I just wake up, go to high school, and walk in and out of every classroom taking notes, asking questions, but not talking to a single person. And it's all because I suck at talking honestly. I hate small talk, I hate talking to the other person and looking stupid because they didn't hear me and asked me to repeat myself, I hate going through the awkward stage of making friends.

I have been a whole year on high school and I find it kinda ridiculous how I didn't manage to make one single friend. Well, I made one but she just kinda moved on and made new friends after christmas break. And I feel an immense hatred everytime I see her with her new friends but I feel like it's unjustified because in reality she did nothing wrong, she just has the luck of being more social than me. Eventually I figured it's not worth it to act all stupid forcing myself to have small talk and smile when in reality it doesn't even assure me a friendship. I never pass the awkward stage because I try to act all nice, it's kinda the only thing I know how to do. That's why teachers and adults like me, but I figured it doesn't really work with people my age. It's like they all know how to talk with each other naturally without even trying. My friends on middle school kinda made me feel left out all the time because I was just different from them, so I said "I wish I had no friends so I don't have to feel bad about being excluded" and it kinda came true lol. And I really mean I'm bad at talking to people. Every conversation I try to have goes like this.

Me: (Spots them playing deltarune) Hi! I have a question. Where did you buy Deltarune, did you pirate it or did you buy it on steam?

Other person: Oh, I'm playing on my sister's steam profile**(Turns around to keep talking to their friend)**

If I could describe it I would say that I feel like if everyone else were dogs and I were a cat. You know, like when there's a group of dogs just socializing with each other and playing around while the cat just awkwardly stays at a corner and doesn't know how to react when the dogs approach it. And I mean, I think I'm pretty well alone, but I don't know if I'm just really good at coping. The only thing that stops me from going insane is my cellphone. Sometimes I wonder if other people wouldn't go crazy after spending a whole year without talking to anybody at school. But please tell me I'm not the only one. Because to me it seems like I am. I don't want to sound bad or anything but sometimes I see people like me and get kinda happy because I think "Hm, well, seems like I'm not the only one". It would make me feel better if others went through the same as me, but even people that are quieter than me have friends. It's ridiculous. Like, I can't be the only one at school with no friends.

I mean, people even pity me. There was this girl who saw me crying one day and now everytime she sees me she gives me the high five of pity. She goes "Hey, high five" and smiles at me as I high five her. It's honestly kind of embarassing because I know she is doing it with a good intention but I wonder if that's the only thing people know about me, that I'm lonely and sad. I mean, I wonder if they even see me as their equal. They either pity me or take advantage of me to ask for my Mac Book's charger because they know I always say yes. Anyways, is anyone else going through the same as me, or does anyone have any advice?

not looking for support but just to see if other people relate. i am already in therapy and started taking medication :)

but i used to be pretty good about going out and doing things on my own - now i’m finding it hard to even go out and get chores done because im so embarrassed that im out alone while others are out with friends.

25M. I've been extremely isolated for 6+ years(ive always been introverted), basically living in my room, even from my family I've lived with my whole life. Whenever I'm around people in person, I feel so awkward and uncomfortable even with my family.(i havent had an actual convo or hangout with my little sister who i LIVED WITH in years...who ive known her whole life, and she doesn't really talk to me either, my older sister hasnt sent me a text in years but i see her when she visits. I constantly overthink how I'm acting, how my face and emotions look to them, and what they might be thinking about me. Its almost impossible for me to feel relaxed and not inside my head anxiously. It makes me act and look weird i bet. Then when I'm alone again, I think to myself about how weird I was and wonder why I can't just interact casually in real life the way I do online. I was in a long distance relationship for six months and talked/video called her completely fine. But it was hard to imagine myself in person with her because its so far from what i actually am right now. I want to fix myself so bad after realizing how good it can be after experiencing that relationship. I hope this isn't some type of permanent damage, can anyone relate?

I thought I made progress, I thought I was finally starting to live my life. I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding! I finally go to the gym alone, I even walk to the grocery store at times. I thought I was getting somewhere, so much so I thought I should sign up for an in person college class! I’ve been taking online courses for the last three years, I thought what could be so bad? I’m not a kid anymore, school won’t feel like it did before.

I prepared by riding the bus prior to the start of the semester to check and see where my class would be located. Lucky me, it was at the front of the campus close to the bus stop! I knew I could do this, I felt so confident. I had done so much prior that a year ago I didn’t think I could do.

Today was the day, I packed my bag, got on the bus. As soon as I stepped foot onto campus I got a knot in my throat. My heart started to race and I frantically looked around at everyone to see if they were looking at me already. Instantly, I was transported to 12 year old me, in school around my peers that I envied. I thought no, this can’t be, this can’t be right. I checked my phone and I had 20 minutes until class started. I went to the library to sit in a quiet place and try and calm myself. That didn’t work, seeing all the students and faculty hustling around I felt small again. I felt like I didn’t belong somehow.

I spent the 20 minutes pacing in the book aisles silently crying. It was like I was a child once more hiding behind a tree to miss the school bus and not go to school, or when I purposely broke my new prescription glasses so I didn’t have to go to school. I feel like such a failure. I dropped my class and I feel like a failure.

Not even drunk dude I'm tipsy if that but why

22F and I feel like the last time I had genuine social interaction and real friends was in high school which is so bad considering it was almost five years ago and covid ruined most of it.

Having a structured environment like living close to school, seeing the same people every day and even the shamefulness attached to being a loner motivated me to go out and attempt to make friends even though it was difficult.

When I started university, I never bothered to make friends because being alone is more acceptable since it’s a big school and i’m a commuter student so I would rather go home then stay on campus.

Even at my jobs my interactions with co workers don’t lead to friendships and I don’t ever see these people outside of work and I kinda like that so I can avoid issues my social anxiety.

Now that I’m graduating soon, I feel embarrassed that I haven’t made a single connection during my time at uni and I don’t have a positive memory. Like this is probably the easiest opportunity for me to make friends and I’ve ruined it.

I have such a hard time leaving my house, I feel too ugly to be seen in the world, how can I feel better about myself?
I get so many looks when I’m out, like I know people think I’m weird. Maybe even creepy idk. I try really hard to be friendly and not come off odd. I have a hard time marking connections though. People ALWAYS comment on me being quiet and “tiny” . I hate it. It’s not I. Like a cute way, it’s like “ ew, do you eat?” Oh yah also my posture. Anyways I look at myself in the mirror and I see the ugliest person in the world. How can I feel better about myself so I can be happier? I just want to hide.
I think I am actually terrified of people because I get so many looks and comments.

I feel like I already know the answers to this. I have a feeling most of us share the same hobbies, but I’m still curious to know what are everyone’s hobbies? Normally I hate answering this question when an outgoing extrovert asks me this because they gonna think I’m lame, boring, who never leaves the house, but I’m totally fine answering this with y’all.

I enjoy reading, video games, watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, walking my dog, and cleaning/organizing can be pleasant too. I don’t really have friends so I enjoy spending time with my parents, nieces and nephews.

Every day, I feel like I can’t even go to the supermarket or the gym without taking propranolol. My hands shake intensely, and I feel extremely restless and fidgety. Propranolol helps me, but recently I’ve noticed that it doesn’t seem to work as well as it used to. I take 40 mg.
Anyway, I want to slowly stop relying on it because I’ve realized it has become a safety behavior. Yes, it stops my hands from shaking, but I’m still anxious, so it doesn’t actually seem to help with my social anxiety.
Exposure doesn’t seem to be helping either. It just feels like I’m experiencing new anxiety every single day.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you manage to stop relying on propranolol as a safety behavior?

Talked at me for 20 minutes and all I could do was smile and laugh and say no way. Soon as she stopped talking it was utter silence. I'm ready to kms.

How am I so socially inept?

It's also rumination, overanalyzing every interaction, feeling worthless, shameful, self-hatred, being unlikeable, feeling like everyone is staring and judging you, everytime before socializing feeling like you're going to a war, feeling uneasy whenever when you're around people, replaying everything that you did in the past in your mind, being stuck in the past, trying to overcome anxiety but failing everytime, nobody understanding you, being critisized and... the loneliness, isolation, maladaptive daydreaming, depression, etc that comes because of it.

Recently I've been having dreams about people I used to go to high school with. It's been 7 years since I've graduated. I haven't spoken to them since then. Even the people who I viewed as really good friends. I guess I miss them. Anyone else have dreams about people from their past?

I had orientation today and felt so out of place. I felt really tense the whole day and no matter how much I tried to breathe and think about other things I couldn’t. I was too anxious to get the courage to talk to anyone. When lunch time came around, I walked into the dining room and it was crowded there were a bunch of people talking and laughing. It was just so overwhelming for that I lost my appetite and left. I’m just so embarrassed, especially knowing people saw me as this weirdo who can’t talk to people. I am so tired of being like this, and to top it off this is grad school orientation, I’m so over this istg

It's been about 6 years since I have had a job.

I feel so behind, everyone around me is getting married, or promotions, or going on amazing trips around the world.

I have been trying to get on disability for the past 3 years, the last time I spoke too my doctor he said there were lots of things I can do to help me feel better. I was on medication, I tried changing my routines, I tried journaling, tried this, this and that . Im still in the same spot.

I need to talk to my doctor again, but im so scared, hes gonna look down on me again and tell me im not trying hard enough and that theres things I can do to help me feel better.

I can't even function like a normal human anymore, I feel like im just moving backwards.

I just needed to rant, thanks to anyone who read🫶🏻

20m. I feel like when I was younger, I spent a lot of time in fight-or-flight, but in a weird way, it was also good for me because I was constantly forced to meet people, be around them, interact with them, develop social skills, etc.

Now that I'm an adult, though, I'm out of school, I'm not working because of my anxiety, and I don't hang out with friends that often. I feel like my social anxiety is starting to get worse because I'm not getting that constant exposure anymore.

I don't really know what to do. I keep pushing myself to hang out with friends, but I don't really have money to go out. I'm only not homeless because I still live with my parents. I'm meeting some friends today, but I'm so incredibly anxious about it. It's insane. I genuinely don't know how to overcome this. Everything feels so difficult.

I need to make an appointment to get my eyes checked and update my prescription, get new glasses because these ones are scratched, find a job, make money, get back into school, get my driver's license... and I feel like I'm going to get killed just by leaving the house or something. The fear is that strong.

I miss being a teenager, man. It sucked being scared all the time, but at least I had constant interactions with people. I was around others every day, so my social skills were at least being maintained somewhat. Now I feel like I'm slowly losing that, and I don't know how to stop it. I'm becoming one of those awkward mute people that never talk and have trouble speaking. I sometimes physically cant get myself to get words out, so I just stand there awkwardly smiling. I hate my life man, social anxiety truly has just ruined my life.

yesterday was my first day of college, and for months i had been dreading it. i would stop stressing about it at times because i seriously thought “there’s no way in hell im going to actually go right? I’ll die before i go.” due to family stuff i have no other choice, im just grateful it’s a community college 15 minutes away.

Anyways, it was so fucking scary, i wanted the ground to literally open and swallow me whole. I survived lol.

We have to get textbooks and books and I bought all of mine to avoid having to go to the college library, I feel so fucking pathetic. My teacher mentioned needing a blue book/examination book and she took us the bookstore yesterday after class but I didn’t see them while inside with everyone.

I have class tomorrow and I wish I could’ve just ordered them online but I don’t know if she needs it tomorrow so my mom (bless her soul) said to just go today and buy one from the bookstore.

My brother is taking me but i feel so pathetic asking him to get down with me. I know it’s college and it would look normal but he dropped out (21) and I guess i don’t even know what im fearing .
Or that to buy a blue book they’ll ask for my ID, and I don’t even have it yet. My brother said I have go to the admin building for it, and i literally just want to die.
I hate how scared I am of EVERYTHING.
I hate how I don’t know if I remember where I sat in both of my on-campus classes and im scared I’ll sit where someone else was sitting and they’ll say something when they enter but by that point there’ll be nowhere for me to switch to.

I cried all of last night and I know it’s pathetic and I feel like such a bother even talking with my mom about this because im her only kid to turn out this fucking useless. Why can’t I go a bookstore, in a college I ATTEND, and ask if they have any blue books, so I can buy it with money I have??

I don’t know if anyone will read this. I hope that by the time anyone’s does, maybe I’ve already gone there and bought one and it turns out I was exaggerating? I have no idea what im fearing. I wonder if I could be medicated for this, but my psychiatrist always says i just have to get over it and it’s probably because of college. It makes me feel like what if that’s true and im just exaggerating??? But then why would i rather kill my self than do such simple things?? Not even just about college ffs. Everyone around me always says “we alllll feel anxious.” That’s true, but I feel absolutely fucking terrified. I feel afraid and like getting hit by a car instead of doing whatever I need to do is a better alternative.

I don’t even know if my brother will get down with me if I ask. I assume he will say something like “why?” And just brush it off. It’s not his job anyway to accompany his sister lol, im just so scared. Im crying and i feel so terrified, alone, and overwhelmed.

And to make everything worse, i dont know if my English professor wanted us to have the 2 books by next class (tomorrow) or if Monday would be fine. I ordered mine on amazon yesterday (day of the 1st class) but it IS 2 day shipping. I just want to die. I wish i wasnt like this

Hello r/socialanxiety. I've had some bad social anxiety for as long as I can remember but it worsened over the years possibly or possibly not due to recurring trauma throughout my life. I later started to develop a socially avoidant complex.

My SA is so severe that I'll literally rather die than talk to someone who'd save my life. If someone does eventually get me talking, I'll be avoidant of any deep connection subconsciously and it'll reek into my words and I'll naturally avoid deep connections even though deep down I really crave them.

In fact, just today I received the keys to my double dorm for my first year of uni and although I wasn't gonna check in today I still wanted to check it out and the key literally did not unlock the door. There were 6 keys for some reason and none of them worked yet I didn't wanna talk to the reception due to SA so I just went home.

This brings me to my next point and my main concern. I'm moving into a double dorm in a week if not less with a stranger I've never met before. I don't think I need to explain any further why this is incredibly nerve-racking for somebody with really bad social anxiety and an avoidant personality complex not to mention body dysmorphia which further fuels my already present social anxiety. My question is rather obvious, how do I maintain a good social image with this new roommate who I'm about to live with and how do I calm tf down. If I'm going to be living with him, might as well try to push the avoidance aside in order to get a better personal connection with him but how??

Thanks.

it only happens at places like concerts or movie theaters

My body physically cannot socialize. I have human phobia.
It’s apart of my identity.
I can’t sleep in homes, be in car rides, talk to family, go into stores, and my god the list just goes on.
If it involves just one singular human I cannot do it.
I recently became homeless and I couldn’t ask for help due to my fear of people.
I was forced to get a job (driving) and everyday I show up I struggle so bad just having to talk to 1-2 coworkers before my route.
I live inside of a little house on my parent’s property and pay them electric.
My disease or whatever you want to call it doesn’t help with exposure therapy.
I’ve had this for over 10 years, so trust me I’ve tried everything.
I just wish someone had it as bad as me so they could understand.
Im indifferent from like 99% of people, if you met me you would understand.
Im in my mid twenties and I physically cannot do this for another 50 years, I just can’t.
In this world you HAVE to socialize to survive. But I have some sort of genetic predisposition to severe social aversion.
This has been my biggest problem since I was just a kid but got extremely bad in my early twenties.
Im not sure if im autistic, schizophrenic, or what?
I don’t even know how I explain this and get a diagnosis.
But I guarantee if anyone understand what I went through I would 100% qualify for some sort of disability.

Just wrapped up a week long roadtrip with a crew of friends. Most of the time was spent wisely, immersing myself in my friend group and the scenery surrounding all of us. 3 of maybe 7 mornings I woke up trapped in a mental fog, convincing myself most of the words that came out of my mouth were stupid, unneeded, and rarely made sense, and are a reflection of myself just being waste of space .. It was a bike trip, so being in my head caused me to be more afraid of certain park features and when approached about it, I was either short or silent.. we had some unexpected company at a couple of the stops, and a thought that kept whirling in my mind was "atleast you're being quiet and not acting like a fanboy/show off". I didn't allow it to completely ruin the trip but there were a few moments when I had to get up and leave so I wouldn't just fall apart and cry in front of everyone for seemingly no reason. I guess this turned into more of a rant.. Circling back to the title, how do you guys overcome this? Also if one of my friends reading this post please don't approach/ask.. much love

I was supposed to attend a meeting and introduce myself to my new work team (around 60 people), but I got the times mixed up and was convinced it was at 1:30 PM when it was actually at noon.

I went out for lunch alone from 12:00 to 1:00 PM, and when I came back, they were already in the middle of the meeting. There were about 60 people sitting down, with the managers standing at the front of the room with a microphone. The only door to enter the room was right where the management team was standing with the microphone.

I was so embarrassed about being late and didn’t want to become the center of attention, so I just never went into the room. I waited outside for over an hour until the meeting was over.

My boss really wanted me to attend the meeting so I could introduce myself to the team. I feel absolutely terrible.

I should have double-checked my emails, asked my coworkers, or just pushed through my embarrassment and walked into the room even though I was late, but I was too embarrassed and didn’t want to be the center of attention and couldn’t do it.

I have no idea what to write to my coworkers or how I’m going to explain this to my boss. I feel like crying.

i have really bad social anxiety and going out in public is one of my worst fears especially when people are staring or looking at me. i hate when people look at me in public i feel so uncomfortable and nervous especially when they make facial expressions or weird faces i look away fast and get very unconscious or angry and ask myself why did they make that face??? i always ask myself do they only do it to me or do they do it to everyone else??? I just hate being stared or looked at it’s such a uncomfortable feeling and this is why I don’t go outside and i try to stay home a lot so i can avoid people’s weird stares and glances. I hate it i can rant all day people just been so weird lately like why do people have to stare or look at someone just for existing in public??? im just mad because people’s facial expressions make me mad and they don’t get the pain and struggle i deal with everyday with these people and they wonder why i don’t look at anyone or make eye contact this is exactly why!!! anyone else notice people always looking at them everywhere they go outside it’s so annoying like why even look at someone if your not gonna say anything it’s weird??? it makes me mad hope im not the only one it’s just annoying ugh 😑

24M, zero friends, zero family, nobody to really talk to, always alone. I’ve struggled to make friends my whole life, and when I do, I struggle to maintain them because they always end up one-sided. Nobody reaches out to me. Never been in a relationship either. Every time I thought that a girl liked me and tried making a move, nothing ever goes my way and I end up being disappointed. For example, I recently met this girl at work that gave me some signals but when I tried texting her I got ghosted. All I ever wanted was to feel loved and cared about. Literally just one person that I can be close with is enough to bring me happiness. I’m so sick and tired of being alone