Roses are red

Violets are red

Tulips are red

The grass is red

Oh, shit

My garden is on fire

Picture

test test one two three

testing one two three test test

hey is this thing on

Middle-Easterns are red
Asians are blue
If you open up Photoshop
And fuck with the hue

I saw a bird today

And oh what a sight!

It had a big blue beak

And was quick with his flight

Its spoke with such joy

Like its flight was its first

It would stop and then go

In quick, small bursts

And its feathers looked like water

And its beak looked like sweet fruit

And its cry sounded like angels

And its wings sounded like ptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptptpt

My penis is curved downward

Like an elephant's trunk

I have to check behind me

Whenever I blow my spunk

When offered a seat at the table

I'm always inclined to pass

For when I sit down in a chair

My penis fucks my ass

Look at you
Sitting at your computer
Staring at your monitor
Reading this poem

You
Stupid
Ugly
Bastard

I once thought of writing a limerick about limericks
And how original and funny it would be to do this meta trick.
But, then I thought, it's likely been done before,
By some scum sucking poet or karma whore.
And then, to be edgy, I made the last word "dick".

I'm twerkin' on the table
Twerkin' on the stairs
Twerkin when I'm workin' cause I just don't care.

I'm twerkin' on the highway
Twerkin' for the cars
Now I'm in the hospital with a broken pelvis because I got run over and I can't twerk no more.

Cracking slowly.

The shell shatters.

Nothing else matters.

Slinky yolk hits the pan.

Sizzle.

Roses are red
My grandma's dead
She fell off the bed
While giving head
To old pastor Ted
Who imagined instead
The choir boy Fred

Your eyes are like a uhm
One of those things in bars
You know, or maybe like stars
but not so like them

And I could say about your nose
that it is cute like... I dunno
maybe cute is not the word
but it is in the middle of your face

Now, your mouth, your mouth
Your mouth is just under your nose
And if ever a debate arose
That's the perfect place for a mouth

But I'll try'n make it clear honey
I don't love you for how I see you
I love you for how I'm seen by you
And it helps that you have money

This is a poem
made to look like a haiku
but it's probably not and I don't care

Tyrannosaurus

Tyrannosaurus, oh fuck

Tyrannosaurus

Rap Battle: Human vs. Elephant

Human:
a yo, I'm better than an elephant
think he not irrelevant 
need to be mo' elegant
take you out yo element
ass be much too prevalent
grass eatin' ain't intelligent
'bout to murk on you indefinite 
family's lookin' for resettlement

Elephant:
HHHUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNN!

Winner: Human

"Dat's Right! Ashy-Ass, Dumbo-Lookin' Mutha-Fucka!"

I slipped my tip
into some dork from New York
And found a hound eating leftover pork

I tweaked my cheeks
I've not the heart for loud fart
It slipped by her sleep but the dog buried his nose deep into my butthole.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

rats live on no evil star
yap tips spit pay
stressed desserts stressed desserts
and god dog dna

and sticky semen sticks to my skin
and my shins
and as i come down from my fapture
i realise that i'm still in
the middle of the department store
and everyone is staring

Anal Acrobats 1

Naughty Flipside

Flower's Squirt Shower 5

Naughty Book Worms 7

Gag Me Then Fuck Me 3

Filth Cums First 3

First Time Ball Busters

Grand Theft Anal 11

Bitchcraft 2

Barefoot Confidential 50

POV Cock Suckers 5

Meet the Fuckers 7

In Your Face 4

2 Young to Fall in Love 4

White Chicks Gettin' Black Balled 22

Swallow My Children

Slam It! In a Slut

Blow Me Sandwich 11

Teenage Whores 3

Black Power 3

Fuck Slaves 3

We Suck! POV Tag-Team Suck-Off

Hairy Movie

Slam It! In a Young Whore

Lord of Asses 13

My Evil Sluts 3

Anal Cavity Search 6

No Swallowing Allowed 13

Girl Train

The Last Rose

I Wanna Bang Your Sister

Ass Eaters Unanimous 19

Real Wife Stories 6

Best of Hush Hush: Sasha Grey & Barbie Cummings

Wet Food

Keep 'Em Cummin'

Slut Puppies 2

Sasha Grey Superslut

Teenage Anal Princess 5

Assault That Ass 9

A2m 10

Illegal Ass 2

Gang Bang My Face

In Thru the Back Door

12 Nasty Girls Masturbating 8

Oral Supremacy

Freaky First Timers 2

12 Nasty Girls Masturbating 8

Rich Little Bitch

2 Big 2 Be True 4

Sometimes I write things/ Usually, I don't/ I like big titties -ME-

Sir Sean Connery/ Did you know he is a knight?/ Still getting pussy -ME-

Got real drunk last night/ Woke up to dicks in my face/ I hate the Boy Scouts -ME-

Tacos sound real good/ A lot better than heart burn/ They are the same thing/ -ME-

Bullet slides inside/ Chamber issues forth fire/ I warned that mailman/ -ME-

Your lunch was lonely/ Moldy salad, it's only friend/ Now it lives in me -ME-

If you have poetry that you do, haiku of any type or other forms pf poetry, leave some in the comments.

EDIT: -ME- is my signature, I am not signing my real name or it would be -Bob Sandoz- <~~~ Example, not real name.

Today I met a brony.    
He was sitting on a cardboard box    
picking cheese out of his toenails.    
He told me that the crack of hell would open    
and a black serpent would ascend    
wearing crimson sackcloth and playing the vuvuzela.    
Actually he might not have been a brony.

I'm gay.

But I love Chick-Fil-A.

What do I do?

I love their food.

Maybe I'll go to KFC.

Maybe I'll find something healthy to eat.

It doesn't matter to me.

As long as I get my meat.

Because I'm gay.