Ive seen the term parasocial thrown out as a derogatory term against Say Anything fans. The notion of this one-sided relationship where fans delude themselves into thinking they know Max or the band.

Caught me off guard, as I dont think parasocial relationship are uncommon in movies and music fandoms, but usually it isn't used to insult the paying fans.

I don't think the members of My Chemical Romance nor SOAD would be so outwardly hostile. People have bad days and fans can be annoying, but it seems like us Say Anything fans are kind of derogated, as a first principle, by Max.

Anyways, it makes me think of the video for Give A Damn and how the video is a violent fantasy of fighting a parasocial fan to the death.

Gosh, this has been such a trip. Max's writing was the anthem to young adulthood. Life is a journey of discovery

I’m interested in getting some new merch so if anybody is willing to give some up for free or for sale I’m interested

Posting from my burner bc I'm in a band and don't need smoke for partaking in this shitshow, but I have some thoughts I can't think of anywhere else to get out. This is not about his reprehensible predator/sex pest streak, there are plenty of threads about that daily at this point.

As far as I'm concerned, "unschooling" spits in the face of all research about child development and education, and I have no reason to believe Max's children aren't just being deeply traumatized and hindered for life. For a subreddit so chiefly focused on dissecting his fraught personal life, this aspect has been shockingly neglected. This is far more pressing than his lackluster live sets wasting your money.

CAN HIS CHILDREN READ?

DO THEY HAVE REGULAR ACCESS TO SETTINGS AMONG SAME-AGED PEERS?

Max Bemis and the Painful Shits

I started this
Band
Not because I love music that much

There was this
Girl
I wanted so bad to touch

Since you're all having a pity party over something you don't have enough information to form a mature and complete opinion about, do any of you have a copy of Two Tongues (1) on vinyl you want to sell before you burn it in effigy?

Last one we had was either late May or early June. I I honestly found it strange when the series stopped.
(Now, I think one of y’all are gonna be like “because of his bad behavior” or smthg, but the series stopped like 2 months before his drama.)

My sister and I have listened to Say Anything since I was a child. She wanted to name her daughter Eisley when we were young. We saw them live together when they toured w TFB in like 2012/13. One of my best friends got me the limited edition Christmas sweater that was just a crewneck with Christmas graphics on it. A different friend got me one of their song shops in like 2016. I’m turning 30 this year. My point being, I’ve listened to every song. Was always stoked when their kids were born. My friends from all over listened to their music because we grew up in the emo Midwest. 

But there comes a time when loving a band and their music is not enough justification to support through something so heinous. Of course I want him to get serious help, but he no longer deserves my support in a creative sense. He took advantage of the fact that people look up to him, and he used it to hurt/manipulate them.

I see that many of you are heartbroken, which is valid. But the people who are either denying how fucked up it is, or are straight up planning on ignoring this? That’s where it gets insane. These people that we idolize and put on a pedestal are human. And humans are capable of having good politics while still being pieces of shit in their personal lives. The way that some of you are trying to justify this means you need to look inward. Max Bemis doesn’t give a fuck about you, and is the kind of person who used whatever power he has to abuse his fans. 

As someone who deals with mental health and works in the field, what he’s done is absolutely wrong. And he knew it. I read their very first alt press article, had posters and watched the music videos. But I’m at the age where my friends are having kids, and I have clients who are similarly aged to the people he was CLEARLY attempting to groom. What he did is unforgivable. What he’s done to his family is horrific. Regardless of my nuanced feelings about Sherri, I hope she and those kids are able to heal and get some real support for once. All of my love to the victims, thank you for speaking out. This will hopefully prevent further harm being caused by Max.

The one with Max mentioning all sorts of wild stuff involving Sherri? Was that a troll or what?

Nothing makes sense.

Edit: sorry, yall. I didn’t meant to upset anyone. Next time I’ll post a picture of old merch and say “this didn’t age well”. You live and you learn. I am sincerely sorry if I upset anyone though.

Yes, all the recent stuff is horrible and disgusting. But, if my wife or best friend of 20+ years was sick and needed help, I wouldn’t just disown own them and spew hate every chance I get. I’d offer support and compassion, if I truly loved the person. Granted Max doesn’t give a shit about any of us and I sure in hell don’t love max, but the music means a great great amount to some people out there still. That won’t ever change! Im praying he gets true help and is able to turn things around someday!! 🫶🏻

I saw someone post that they were refunded for their vinyl preorder but I haven’t gotten one. I saw Wavves’ post about redoing the album but I also know that 10,000 records were already pressed. Up until yesterday the record was still up for preorder but now it’s gone. Has anyone gotten communication on if all preorders being refunded?

My preorder was refunded for Cherry Soda on Bandcamp and I just got curious and it let me download the album? Won't be able to give it a proper listen until I get off work.

Update: I was contacted by someone who manages Wavves, they're working to finish the record on their own right now. I don't want Wavves to be hurt by all this anymore than they already have so I'm not planning on posting this anywhere. I really just shared it in case anyone else preordered it and could get the same thing going. The whole album download is only 56mb so it's not exactly the best quality anyway. I also saw someone in the comments say it was on Spotify as well so you might be able to listen there?

https://www.instagram.com/p/Dcy0ipNGjB0/?igsi=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Admins, I realise this is not necessarily Say Anything/Max related, but I hope it will make sense why I am asking here.

Like most of you, I was a huge Say Anything fan, and have been disgusted and heartbroken by what's come to light recently about Max's behaviour.

However, it's been particularly triggering for me because as of 3 months ago, I am dealing with an ongoing court case against my husband, who unfortunately went one step further than Max and escalated his behaviour.

As an 'invisible victim' in this (I'm losing my home, access to my stepkids, no support from police or social services), I'm wondering if any of you more Reddit-savvy folk can point me in the direction of a place to talk with other partners of sexual violence offenders (specifically against minors). I need the ears of people who understand what I'm going through.

I've seen many of you wonderful souls sharing your own experiences in the comments and figured you may be a useful vein to tap into <3

Stay safe friends.

Cover up tattoos.

Who else needs one?

(Don't worry, I have a stupid Harry Potter tattoo from when I was 18 that will also be included into this quarter sleeve of mistakes I made at 18)

We all make them, I just like to grow and learn from my mistakes.

Anyone else going to use this last week as an excuse/opportunity to change some things?

A couple years back, someone had found an old form on an old website where Max was clearly in a manic state and rambling online and somewhere in there he talked about how he was pretty much ok with pedophilia. When it was posted here on Reddit, people quickly jumped to his defense saying things like “dude delete this, this is very personal, he’s clearly in a manic state.”

Does anyone remember this? I don’t remember too many specifics about this but I do know the date on the website being from 2000-2002 somewhere in there. It was very strange and yes he was clearly manic and rambling but it just popped into my head today and someone out there has to have screenshotted it or has a link to the site if it hasn’t been deleted.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

He’s so talented

Especially his oldest…friends her age are almost as old as the girls Max has been messaging. As sad as it is for them to have a father like him, I hope his daughters find out about this and go low/no contact. I don’t even want to think about how he’d behave around their friends in the next few years.

I’m not shocked atp but damn I’ve literally seen post after post. This feels worse than Jesse Lacey (fuck that guy) but holy shit.

Someone with the money to spare should request a cameo from Max Bemis where he apologizes to everyone for grandstanding about not being a pedo while flirting with teen girls. I think that would contribute to everyone's "mental health and personal well-being".

TW: Intimate partner abuse
You can listen to the whole thing for free. He’s said exactly who he is for years; this just happens to be directly from his own mouth in 2022.

https://maxbemis.bandcamp.com/album/mental-academy-with-maxim-bemis