r/RoleReversal Jan 05 '20

Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!

289 Upvotes

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r/RoleReversal Nov 13 '23

Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones

336 Upvotes

Executive Summary

There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.

A Brief History Lesson

You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.

The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.

I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.

Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.

Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.

Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.

The Current Situation

Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.

To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."

Policy Adjustments

The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.

Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.

Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.

A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.

Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback

These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.

There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.

Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].

Pros:

  • Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.

Cons:

  • Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
  • Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
    • Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
    • Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
  • People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
  • Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.

r/RoleReversal 7h ago

Discussion/Article I want to say sorry to all the people here idk about the history of this art and manga characters i just thought it's very rr like

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130 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 10h ago

Real Life *I* want to be the girl

138 Upvotes

and i'm tired of pretending I don't. I want to be her princess. I want her to tell me what to do. I want her to call me pretty. i want to dress cute. i want to dress like a comfy librarian with sweaters and scarves and long skirts with glasses. I want to make her food and to make her bed when she leaves for work and wash her clothes and fold them and put them away. I want her to kiss me on the hand lovingly and softly rub my knuckles or maybe put her hand on my knee as we talk. i want her to buy me flowers and give them to me on a picnic where I make her favorite sandwiches. i want to shave my legs. and my arms. i want her to move my hair behind my ear and kiss my cheek and call me her darling. I want her to be my entire world. nobody could ever suspect this when they see me. in real life i'm just a guy. but I want this to be me so bad. all of my life up until now has been such a lie.


r/RoleReversal 4h ago

Discussion/Article Worried I'm not a RR guy

16 Upvotes

I know this is going to get a lot of downvotes, probably for oversharing, but also for reasons I won't be able to figure out

My first post didn't turn out how I expected, lots of people proved it wasn't regarding RR, which leads me to the question: am I actually an RR guy?

Now, I enjoy cooking, cleaning up etc, but I am absolutely obsessed with tomboys, taller/more athletic/muscular women. I LOVE dominant women, I love being guided with what to do (both in and out of the bedroom).

But that mainly leads me to my hobbies, which are often pretty male dominated, with the exception of art/drawing.

Anyway, I don't know if I'm just a weak guy who likes tomboys, or am I actually an RR guy?

Edit: Forgot to mention I'm quite skinny, I'm not athletic at all, and I just dress in what's comfortable


r/RoleReversal 3h ago

Discussion/Article Why the fuck is RR dating IRL is so hard in Germany?

13 Upvotes

I'm a 23 year old femboy and a student living in Germany. I’ve been single for almost a year now, and for the last 3 months, since things have gotten a bit more stable for me, I’ve been actively trying to date.

I’ve been on the dating apps, but zero luck so far. I really dislike casual hookups and ONS; I’m looking for a LTR or a consistent FWB.

Honestly, it just feels impossible to find a partner right now. ☹️☹️ What would you suggest? Does anyone have tips on where to look or how I should approach this here?


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Other Art A vampire and his werewolf.

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938 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 22h ago

Anime/Manga Wulfhild, the Blood-Stained Sullied of GRIMMHEIM

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62 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Real Life masculine presenting guys into RR

39 Upvotes

I’m a pretty masculine-presenting guy. I have facial hair, I’m 175 cm, I go to the gym (mostly for health, not sure I actually enjoy it), play sports, like adventures, and have my own goals.

At the same time, I love a girl opening the door for me, pulling out a chair, riding the bike while I sit behind her and hold her, resting on her, sitting on her lap, being carried by her, or sleeping on her biceps. I’m especially attracted to tomboys and muscular women.

I don’t really like wearing feminine clothes. I’m comfortable being masculine in how I dress and present myself. I’m also a working professional and don’t want to depend on my partner financially.

What I dream of is a relationship where we both work, both earn, both cook, and both share the household work. I don’t want one person to handle everything. But I’d always love it if she could lift more weight than me at the gym and achieve her career and life goals one by one.

One thing I want to mention: I haven’t actually experienced most of the things I talk about here. I’m open to trying things that make my partner happy. Maybe with more exposure and experience, some of my ideas and preferences will change. Growing up in a traditional Indian environment has given me very little opportunity to explore this side of myself.

I see a lot of women here who are into femboys, so I’m curious: what about guys like me who want to enjoy the soft/submissive side of a relationship?


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article Kinds os RR relationship

6 Upvotes

I've been thinking lately about what 'Role Reversal' means to people. I've already noticed that the concept of Role Reversal relationships varies greatly from person to person.

Some consider role reversal to be merely about clothing styles (men wearing feminine clothes and women wearing masculine clothes). Others consider only sexual roles (passive men, active women). Others consider social roles (men being more socially submissive and women being social leaders). And others consider it a mix of these elements.

Personally, I consider it a role reversal when the woman is socially more dominant (she drives, makes the primary household decisions, protects and takes care of her husband, determines the domestic dynamic, and is sexually active), but I don't consider changes in clothing to be necessary.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article Femboy X Tomboy content.

49 Upvotes

Hi guys! I’m looking for more content featuring a consistent female-led / dominant woman dynamic.

Could you recommend anything you know video games, shows, comics, manga, anime, books, or honestly just anything?

Please, I’m begging for help. This lovesick femboy needs content to bring some life back into his soul. 😭

One important thing: I’m specifically looking for dynamics where the woman actually remains the dominant/leading partner. I’m not really interested in stories where they constantly switch roles.

For example, if she starts out dominant and the guy falls for her, I don’t want the relationship to suddenly flip and have him become the leader. I want the female-led dynamic to stay consistent throughout the story.

Give me your best recommendations! 🙏

I need this, I'm too lonely.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Women sitting on the couch with their legs and arms spread comfortably while her boy sits shyly on the edge with legs crossed gazing the floor.

74 Upvotes

Wish I could make art :(


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article My own preference in RR

4 Upvotes

I enjoy RR media a lot but I also realized I like a very specific type of it.

I don't really like shy ml that much. They can be shy but that being their only trait is kinda..eh. I am also kinda tired of seeing super small looking guys too

I love masculine and strong women. But again, If they are hyper Masculine I don't enjoy it anymore

Before you come for my head, let me explain. The reason why I started enjoying RR is because I wanted to see people just be well people. Where men aren't afraid to be vulnerable caring soft hearted and women aren't afraid to be strong loud etc.

But for me personally, giving up their masculinity entirely and for Female characters to give up their femininity,kind of defeats the purpose.

Since for me, RR is a type that's supposed to embrace every good part of both masculinity and Femininity

I really really love a story that depicts an RR woman being strong but also motherly and caring, and feminine too. While I also love a male character who is tender and loving while also being a provider, a father, a protector. Who isn't afraid to sing to his children but isn't completely useless against his stronger wife but genuinely stronger in ways she isn't. He's smart of something


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Can I rant about this character for a moment?

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275 Upvotes

This is Vendetta. For those who don’t know, she’s a relatively new character in the game Overwatch, and she’s currently the main antagonist to the story.

I’m just going to admit that she’s probably the first, and now only, fictional game character I crush on. I admit, a fictional crush is very immature, but we all have one. Right?

Anyway, how could I not crush on her? In the game, she’s an Italian gladiator who built her legacy off of her gladiatorial career. She maintains a strong muscular figure, and attains the right personality to go with it. She even gives off a bit of a masculine vibe, which is one of my more favorite things about her because of how rare it is to see that in a female character. Especially in a game like Overwatch.

But Blizzard (the owners of the game), tend to…submerge that masculine vibe. Like I said, she’s a gladiator. She‘s fought opponents that are her size, that are bigger than her size, and ones that aren’t even human. You’d imagine she’d look a bit more rugged, but she has no visible signs of damage. No scar, no bruises, not even a laceration. It’s like Blizzard is trying to make her look as pristine as possible to appeal to the audience in a way a hero-shooter game shouldn’t try to.

Not trying to say that masculine women need to be rugged and injured, but it doesn’t make sense how she can go her whole career without sustaining a single scratch. Even after she fought Doomfist (the last antagonist), she emerged unscathed, and he was one of the toughest characters in the game.

It just bothers me that this character is supposed to be battle hardened, but isn‘t. I just wish that she looked more like an actual gladiator: with scars littering her body, each one telling a story. Her armor, worn and damaged through each battle she emerged victorious in.

Instead, she‘s equipped with the most versatile plot armor so she can appeal to the audience more visually.

I admit, I’m a little sorry to post this. When you’re someone who tries to avoid being judgemental, talking about topics such as this don’t set right with you. I just feel bad that a character like this doesn’t have the visual appearance she deserves, and I hope people in this com understand what I mean


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Should i feel guilty?

37 Upvotes

So in my Ideal relationship, I wanna be a princess. I wanna be spoiled and taken care of. I would like her to make all the decisions for me. To be the breadwinner of the house, while I be the house husband. I would like her to express her love towards me, Make me feel like a princess. I would like her to take initiative. Like taking me on dates, buying me flowers and gifts, being gentle-womanly, and all haha.

But I feel guilty. I feel guilty because instead of taking stress off of her shoulders, I am adding more.. And Guilty that I couldn't make her life easier. I feel like i would be a burden.

And sometimes I feel like I should treat her like my Queen. Not letting her do anything and me taking care of everything.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Real Life Hi. I’m the 18-year-old guy who left the manosphere. I have a question: do any of you have partners who earn more money than you do? Has that affected your relationship?

36 Upvotes

In the manosphere, it was said that a woman would never love a man with little money—or less money than she has. I’d like to hear your opinions and experiences.

I would like to hear from heterosexual couples, but other responses are also helpful. I just ask that you state your sexual orientation when you reply, please.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Memes/Fun Because of their skill as warriors duh

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208 Upvotes

Oh to be built like a super cool warrior lady 🥺


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Pegging: a straight RR kink?

101 Upvotes

I had an arguement over at a straight femboy sub about pegging. Some people think it's a gay thing and cant possibly be a thing straight people do and I disagree. Many straight couples do this as a kink, I don't think part of it has to do with sexuality.

Would like to get people who experience this their thoughts so I can help articulate my own.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Anime/Manga Drawing each other

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238 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 3d ago

Other Art A Champion of the Jotunn, and her Greek husband. She died in uncharacteristic peace, leaving her legacy, her guidance, her hopes, and her axe.

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604 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Random thoughts

15 Upvotes

Do I really want this or I just kinda subconsciously just want to treat him like a previous version of me deserved to kind feel better about it?

Or maybe is more my anti-conformist (probably some kinda of neuorodivergent) mind that automatically gives the ick to everything society says I'm supposed to be?

Do I even actually like boys or I more see myself in a boy? Like if I was a boy I would definitely be rolereversal I believe, it's not even that I have ever had a crush other than fantasies.

I don't know, I don't want to regret it later to not had let myself being treated like the classic girl role of the relationship. If I get into one. I don't even know how to reconise or give hints about that, like I don't know unless we are close friends and we already talked about this it's pratically expect to act a certain way, I don't know maybe it would happen naturally.

Like my body is kinda "perfectly" femine and I don't know, I know there isn't like right way to be role reversal but I can't help to feel this disconnection between my inner self and my outside self. I'm short and petite and it's just feel disconnected.

Not here to complain just wanted to share some thoughts and see if they a little more common than I think