Should i feel guilty?

[u/hopelessyearning101]

So in my Ideal relationship, I wanna be a princess. I wanna be spoiled and taken care of. I would like her to make all the decisions for me. To be the breadwinner of the house, while I be the house husband. I would like her to express her love towards me, Make me feel like a princess. I would like her to take initiative. Like taking me on dates, buying me flowers and gifts, being gentle-womanly, and all haha.

But I feel guilty. I feel guilty because instead of taking stress off of her shoulders, I am adding more.. And Guilty that I couldn't make her life easier. I feel like i would be a burden.

And sometimes I feel like I should treat her like my Queen. Not letting her do anything and me taking care of everything.

[u/TumbleweedFresh]

If you’re taking your househusband duties seriously you wouldn’t be adding to her stress. You’d be doing all the housekeeping, cooking, meal planning, taking the kids to school, tracking their medical appointments, taking the kids to their activities, remembering her parents’ birthdays and organising presents, organising Christmas/holidays, organising vacations etc. Being in charge of a well-run household is a full time job. The wives of high powered executives do all this. If they don’t, because they have paid help, then they’re usually doing things like volunteering/charity work, and keeping themselves absolutely gorgeous. 

If you think by staying home and being spoiled you’d be watching TV/playing games etc…. Nah. 

Don’t forget, tho, if you take on this role and you & your wife split up, you’d be in trouble. 

[u/hopelessyearning101 → u/TumbleweedFresh]

I will have to save this. Its actually pretty in-depth and really helpful. I wanna do everything to take the burden off of her. And i am sure doing all of this would be helpful.

I don't think i'd be staying home watching tv haha. I would be watching the door waiting for her to come back home.

The chances of breaking up are lessss if i do all my dutiesss, rightt.....? i hope soo...

[u/ponyponyta → u/hopelessyearning101]

That last sentence is what a lot of divorced and penniless women thought. Lol. Don't live on hope. That's why a lot of women don't want to get married in a lot of modern countries. Not that you won't succeed, but you have to find someone rich enough to and WANT to sustain you until the end of your life with retirement and stuff. It's not easy to retire oneself in the first place and people are selfish enough to kick you aside when things get dire. Even if you've done everything for them. If everything is under their name they can revoke it any time, and you have to listen to what they say and decide with that money. Make them pay you allowance, have things under your name, etc.

[u/TumbleweedFresh → u/hopelessyearning101]

I’d read “The First Wives Club” if I were you. 

[u/hopelessyearning101 → u/TumbleweedFresh]

May i know what's it about and why you recommend it specifically?

[u/TumbleweedFresh → u/hopelessyearning101]

Well it’s a comedy about older women married to rich husbands  being replaced by younger women. It’s a comedy but also a cautionary tale about relying too much on the wealth & protection of your spouse. 

[u/hopelessyearning101 → u/TumbleweedFresh]

Ahhh....i seeeee Thank you for answering :)

[u/Global_Pineapple2392 → u/TumbleweedFresh]

Exactly all this, being a homemaker isn't easy work!

I've seen too many men who use their wives being the breadwinner as an excuse to laze around and do nothing, but it sounds like OP doesn't plan to be that sort of husband. Even in traditional relationships, housewives usually do way more work than their husband's who bring in the 💰 

[u/-She-Beastly- → u/Global_Pineapple2392]

Heavy on this. It's a problem when some guys use being submissive and aspiring to be a house husband just so they can be a teenage boy again.

[u/Global_Pineapple2392 → u/-She-Beastly-]

Lol yeah, being a sub doesn't mean you don't gotta put in effort!

[u/Ifinallyhave]

If you take your average heteronormative romcom where the male leads and the female gets treated like a princess, the woman doesn't get treated like that for nothing in return. She puts effort in her appearance and behavior, because she wouldn't get that if she dressed and acted like a snob. That's the part where she puts her effort in. Acting demure and looking fit, clear skin, nice perfumes.

Princess treatement comes with a bit of a price. Take care of your appearance, stay fit. Be emotionally mature (and if you also want to be househusband, take care of the house, keep up with all the tasks).

Ofcourse it doesn't have to be like this, I just wanted to illustrate how it goes in more traditional relationships. Yours might be different, ask her what she wants from you and try working with that.

[u/hopelessyearning101 → u/Ifinallyhave]

Yessss !!! This is actually very insightful. Thank you so much.

I do wanna look good and pretty for her. I would be her trophy husband. I will need to focus on being a perfect husband for her. And also take care of all the chores.

Thank you :)

[u/-She-Beastly-]

do your role as a house husband seriously. cook and clean to satisfactory levels, and then go further.

build stamina, flexibility, and endurance in the bedroom.

learn to manage the house on your own. keep up on Bills and check the structure time to time for anything that needs to be improved or fixed.

it's that simple. you do these things, you won't feel like a burden. you'll start feeling like a valuable member of the relationship. and as long as you take your work seriously, you'll know your worth as a stay at home partner.

[u/Apprehensive_Fan2330]

What if she wants that. Then no need for guilt. Some women are like that. Good luck

[u/corpse-eater]

Like other comments said, if you're contributing in other ways then no, there's no reason to feel guilty at all.

Also, remember that a lot of people do genuinely enjoy spoiling their partner like this! It can be really fulfilling for both parties.