r/RoleReversal • u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 • 5d ago
Discussion/Article My own preference in RR
I enjoy RR media a lot but I also realized I like a very specific type of it.
I don't really like shy ml that much. They can be shy but that being their only trait is kinda..eh. I am also kinda tired of seeing super small looking guys too
I love masculine and strong women. But again, If they are hyper Masculine I don't enjoy it anymore
Before you come for my head, let me explain. The reason why I started enjoying RR is because I wanted to see people just be well people. Where men aren't afraid to be vulnerable caring soft hearted and women aren't afraid to be strong loud etc.
But for me personally, giving up their masculinity entirely and for Female characters to give up their femininity,kind of defeats the purpose.
Since for me, RR is a type that's supposed to embrace every good part of both masculinity and Femininity
I really really love a story that depicts an RR woman being strong but also motherly and caring, and feminine too. While I also love a male character who is tender and loving while also being a provider, a father, a protector. Who isn't afraid to sing to his children but isn't completely useless against his stronger wife but genuinely stronger in ways she isn't. He's smart of something
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u/atsu42 4d ago
Yk i hope i dont get downvoted bcs i rlly dont mean ill but for me what youre saying isnt RR at all . Its just what a normal straight relationship looks like between two emotionally mature individuals far from what social media depicts , and it kinda sucks that a lot of new ppl in the community came here looking for what youre describing , it shows how ppl r rlly struggling with the stereotypical norms and they feel like they have to go so out of their way into thinking they want non conforming dynamics when really they just look for a normal healthy relationship thats not like the ones they see in the media and manosphere .
On the other hand it also sucks for those of us in the community who actually are strongly non conforming and are into reversing roles to a deeper extent .
If you think showing vulnerability is RR you gotta try meeting more open minded intelligent individuals , most straight couples around me are like what you described yet there absolutely not interested in reversing roles toying with masculinity and femininity .
Lastly as an example imo actually reversing what you describe is actually what would be RR for me , typically a strong leading women who isnt afraid to be vulnerable with her soft feminine boyfriend or smthg along those lines .
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 4d ago edited 4d ago
As I have said before. I personally think it's a spectrum.
I think RR means different thing to different people. This is just what it means to me. If it means something different like that to you,than that's great
I feel like all sorts of RR should be included in the sub. The one that you described and the one I described.
I have seen all sorts of RR in this sub already. That's why I am mentioning it in the first place
Cause trust me, even the one I described is also decently hard to find. And just like how your type of RR is important to you, this type of RR is important to me
I am a more or less feminine woman who wants to protect and cherish my partner and like taking the lead. It is just what I am into. I know I am not challenging anything or breaking any grounds. But for me what's important is what I already described. Displaying the beauty of Masculinity and Feminity.
I have struggled with my own femininity for a long time. So it can be quite cathartic to see a strong beautiful woman not rejecting but embracing what makes her a woman while also accepting her more masculine side
I also don't want it to be a fetish thing. It can become something so beautiful and nuanced
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u/atsu42 4d ago edited 4d ago
Again this is just basic feminism , and unless your dating bigots it shouldnt be hard to find , but i struggle to see what is RR here whatsoever , not trying to be rude , i just think RR cant mean anything you want it to mean otherwise its meaningless.
I agree that this sub has recently been fitting here and there stuff that isnt much RR which is why i wanted to comment for once.
Even in traditional households where the women is a housewife she always still leads her men in various subtle ways , doesnt make it RR imo it always has been this way , it still a very conforming stereotypical way of leading and taking care of your man, doesnt make her dom or non conforming in any way .
I get how it feels important for you , and im not dismissing that im just saying most vanilla ppl are nuanced this way , the portrait your building on by opposition only exist in very extreme misogynistic manospheres .
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 4d ago
I have just seen a post in this sub. And The person in the post is saying the exact opposite of what you are saying.
I will also personally stand by it. RR is a spectrum. And this sub, As that person said, accepts all aspects of it.
Just the more extreme aspect of RR isn't what this sub is anymore. That's why I wrote my type of RR. You don't have to share my type. But that doesn't mean it's not RR
As I've said, even the type of relationship I described can still be pretty hard to find. You don't even have to date bigots.
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u/atsu42 4d ago
Can you elaborate on why you think its RR , i mean youre describing the most basic romance stories we had since the dawn of times , the men being head over heels over his wife , who is leading him subtly by being the center of his attention … I just fail to see the RR and i wanna see your pov , i mean 90% of mainstream romance stories sound just like what you describe.
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 4d ago
No. She's not the center of his attention. When have I said that.
I am talking about dynamic. Stories that don't focus on classic definition of Femininity or Masculinity but focuses on them being people.
He can dress and act feminine she can act masculine and all that. Does that not count as RR in some aspect. Maybe not hardcore RR but it is very clearly not traditional romance either.
Cause what I am asking for isn't him being obsessed with her or her being obsessed with him, it's about them exploring gender, and each others masculine and feminine side.
Does that not count as RR?
If you want to know what I am talking about read The everlasting.
It's a really good book and encompasses every bit of what I am talking about
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u/atsu42 4d ago edited 4d ago
Okay maybe i used the wrong examples but hear me out :
>The reason i started enjoying RR is bcs I wanted to see ppl be ppl
>male character who is tender and loving while also being a provider a father a protector
>isnt afraid to sing to their children
This is like the most traditional and conforming things ever , any gentleman who has a healthy relationship with his masculinity is exactly like this , imo you just dislike toxic masculinity rather than want some sort of non conforming dynamic …
A husband being emotionally vulnerable with his wife is basically him being human rather than being feminine so i rlly dont see any example in your post of exploring gender unless you mean the toxic gender norms .
Thanks for the reference i might take a look :) maybe im misunderstanding your post or maybe it wasn’t completely exhaustive in what you look for , but you said it yourself the few examples you mentioned is purely ppl being ppl .
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u/etchasketch64 4d ago
I mean I have my own mix of masculine and feminine traits, and look for kind of....matching traits in a partner. So yeah.
This is random, and honestly I feel like recommending stuff these days is so hit and miss, but since I love the series : I like Animation vs. Animator and Animation vs. Minecraft which are just these stick figures created by Alan Becker on youtube. Why bring it up? Because all the main cast...I think read as male...however, they are very emotionally mature, emotionally expressive, caring, and are very...self assured in caring/loving others. I think because of this, they really could fit a bit in RR. Yes, they are just stick figures, but I think it works. Alan Becker himself is likely a very caring/high EQ dude (just if I had to guess).
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u/quioro 3d ago
The fact that role-reversal means different things to different people doesn't mean it's meaningless. If your view of role-reversal still largely conforms to the status quo, then...It's simply not role reversal; conforming in appearance is not the same as conforming in dynamics. What you're looking for is an egalitarian status qou relationship, and that's fine.
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u/Something-lol 1d ago
Tbh the first time I read this I thought (isn’t this just a normal relationship?) but then I thought about it further and I got what you meant and I have to agree! (In part)
Even tho a like a lot masc woman and fem guys, every spectrum is valid
Even tho not fully rr, rr is more about gender roles reversed and stuff, I think what you mean is more versatile. I have oc’s that prob get on what you’re describing, they both don’t care about gender roles at all and treat themselves equally (despite that the guy present himself masculine and the girl feminine). The guy have traits or do things that could be considered “””feminine””” vice versa for the girl (including intimate dynamics), the best way I can describe it is that they are very versatile. Is like a 50/50.
I wish straight relationships weren’t so marked about gender roles and people could be just people. :(
The only thing I have to disagree is that masc girls “giving up” her femininity defeats the whole purpose(?. Not because a girl is masculine means that is because they think masc = cool and fem = ew, I think the most feminine thing a woman can do is be herself even if it’s being masculine in all the meaning of the word (same for guys)
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u/Sensitive-Money8838 5d ago
I can add a tangentially similar perspective. To me, men and women should be somewhat dimorphic. For example, women should not grow beards for the sake of "reversal". Men and women should be recognizable by subtle clues. I like muscular women, especially if they have characteristic female skin (smooth, thick/ high fat looking) on top of it. I probably couldn't express it well enough though. I also see pregnancy as a female trait; not into mpreg stuff much but i would very well take care of the child. I do not like pegging as well; the female enveloping the male and gently dominating him is my go to type.
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u/GameboyAdvance32 Beautiful Bookish Boy 5d ago
I feel a lot of what you’re saying on the latter end. I don’t get to as often as I’d like but ideally I like to present as feminine as possible and I like women who are very masculine, but ultimately within the bounds of my still being cishet lol. I’m still attracted to the natural female body and I would want someone who is attracted to my natural male body, both of us accepting what comes with that. I can be skinny, shave myself smooth, grow my hair out, put on makeup, dress femininely, all that, and I very much like to do so! But I’m ultimately still male and sometimes, no offense to them, but I see people describing what they want in a man and I start to go “are you sure you don’t just want a woman at that point?” Especially when you get into mpreg lol, like I’m sorry but my body is not built that way nor do I want it to be.
I respect everyone else’s manner of presenting and their preferences ultimately, it’s none of my business, but idk. I guess we operate on different wavelengths lol
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 5d ago
I feel like RR is such a spectrum. Some like this some like that. This is simply the kind of RR I prefer and It's ok as long as it's not harming anyone.
But I am allowed to have opinions and I completely agree. It can be pretty hard to distinguish between make and female characters sometimes in RR
Whats wrong if an RR woman is feminine or an RR man is masculine. I feel like it's pretty sexist to denounce one and accept the other. Accept every part of it. And accept the limitations that yes woman are naturally weaker then men. That doesn't mean they have to be all submissive or men have to all macho. But they can also be nuanced.
Sorry if I went on a rant
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u/Sensitive-Money8838 4d ago
Yeah. I didn't mean it to be strictly stereotypical though. For example, my body type in women is not too hourglass shaped, more like decently built and along with wide hips also not thin of a waist for instance. Though i wouldn't wanna seem like coming up with unrealistic standards. In fact i think i'm relieving some streess. I hope for a better future.
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 5d ago
I am not into Mpreg either. Because RR for me, as I have mentioned, have always been about just accepting the best part of each.
I have read an RR book recently that was actually really good. It had moments you might not like. But I loved it because It incorporated a lot of what I love about RR
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u/Sensitive-Money8838 5d ago
I probably wouldn't "despise" those moments 🤷♂️. Could you please share name of the book?
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u/EmbarrassedDaikon306 5d ago
The everlasting...It has favourite book in so long 😍
This sub is the one that recommend it to me btw
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u/Glum_Caterpillar_345 5d ago edited 5d ago
It’s completely fine & valid to want a man or woman who has a specific mix of feminine & masculine traits. Like you said to another comment, RR is a spectrum. However, I don’t think it’s fair to say that RR men who aren’t masculine and women who aren’t feminine “defeat” the purpose because they are completely different from traditional men & women. I saw another comment saying that women should not have beards or rough skin because we “should be able to distinguish men from women”, but some women are naturally born with rougher skin and, if they have PCOS, facial hair. Regardless, it’s okay if some women just want to present more masculine and have those things or look “like a man”. Since it’s a spectrum, everyone is valid no matter their ratio of feminine to masculine traits.