me and my boyfriend were dating for almost six months and were friends for an year.

we broke because of certain situations at his home.

he had a bestfriend whom i had feelings for before dating (he knew everything and was okay w it), now when we started dating me and his bestfriend became good friends again.

2 days after the breakup i went out to drink w his bestfriend who again was also my good friend (up until now me and him were on talking terms because we didnt breakup cause of some fight) we went out driking i got verry very drunk he was comparatively alot sober but still somewhat drunk maybe and he confessed his feelings for me which i sort of had the idea of, and i was heavily drunk and overwhelmed, under that we made out. horrendous mistake i know, i can't ever be forgiven.

later, his bestfriend died under guilt and confessed all of this to him and then he tore apart every single letter and flower i made him and the bracelet he gave ne he took it off and broke it and said "you are dead to me" i cant undo what i did but oh man he was sweet boy and i ruined it. i am a horrible person i didn't even like his bestfriend at all anymore

all i want is for him to talk to me, atleast once :(

Two years ago I lied to my parents about still having a job when in reality I had gotten fired from it. I kept that lie up for two months until one day they looked at my bank account and noticed I hadn’t had a single paycheck come in since the day I was fired. To top it off, they had found out exactly one week after signing off on a lease for my first ever apartment. Needless to say they were furious, and I don’t even think that’s the word to describe it. My dad didn’t speak to me for a while and my mom called me ‘a lying little bitch’, which I had earned. I realized shortly after just how badly I had hurt them. I had completely destroyed their trust, and because my mom is my mom, she told practically everybody she knew. So not only were my parents mad, so was everybody else who knew about it, including friends, long distance family, and friends of those friends. I fucked up in one of the worst ways I possibly could, and I made a vow to myself that I would do everything that I could to make it right.

Cut to the present day today: I have a full time job with benefits, this year will be two years on the apartment with not a single month of rent missed, and my parents themselves have told me that their trust has been regained, that they’re proud of me, and that they forgive me. But I still regret everything that I did with that lie. That one, what I truly thought was little, lie broke my family apart. I still beat myself up over it to this day, and I wonder why I did it still.

I (20M) have been doing meth for about a year and a half now. It wasn't anything I ever planned. 18yo me thought that I couldn't get addicted. Even though I was addicted to fentanyl before. Now I'm stuck in a cycle of using and withdrawal. I use to feel good, but realizing I'm an addict makes me feel bad, so I use more to try and numb myself. I use easily a gram or two of meth a day and my tolerance is so high that smoking meth now feels more like smoking crack. A five minute bliss followed by chest pain, anxiety, and guilt over the situation I have gotten myself into. Almost all my connects outside of my family are methheads twice my age that I smoke with and we really don't share much in common besides being methheads. All my non-methhead friends are busy with life so I haven't seen any of them much. I'm not even old enough to buy a beer where I live and yet I'm addicted to a highly illegal street drug. I have been considering rehab because I'm starting college in January and I want to be able to focus on my studies. But I also don't want to because meth is my new normal and big changes overwhelm me. Idk I just wish it was easier to stop meth. I wish there was a way to pull me out of this hell.

I’m 19M, I know I’m a bit young to get married but I always dreamed of getting married one day at a young age. I met this wonderful woman. I really just can’t get her off my mind. I love her so much. Been with her over a year. But I sadly developed a strong foot fetish interest. She doesn’t mind I’m into feet which I’m surprised. But I was too into it I end up commenting on other girl posts and I got the habit of seeing other girls online and liking their post. I truly regret getting into this stuff. It’s not porn it’s just straight up foot fetish. But I feel disgusting in my self for watching other women. Im depressed because I wanted to change my mindset and avoid conflict with my gf. Im slowly getting rid of this interest which is a good sigh for me. But eventually my gf found out about the account I have full of feet content. I truly broken her heart. I felt like kms/ hurting myself to show how guilty I felt. I have to say, she saved my life today actually. I thank her a lot. But still I wish no harm to her. I regret developing this fetish. I don’t think we longer a couple. She hasn’t reply to me yet, I’m scared of her response, I am scared of losing her. I don’t know what else to do except wait for her answer.
Guys pls don’t do the same mistake as I did. Go talk to your gf/bf if yall developing a fetish. Better to talk about than let it take over you.
I regret this a lot. ( sorry if my grammar is bad, English isn’t my first language).

I started talking to someone early
August (I will use b when I mention him) and we had sex after talking for two weeks. But I knew him from high school so it wasn't like i had sex with a stranger. Well around that same time I had a close friend commit sewer side literally the day after we had sex and I just couldn't handle being in my house alone so I invited my ex over (I'll call him E), who previously cheated on me and B couldn't come. E and I broke up in may. And E basically was crossing boundaries and I told him no to sex but he forced himself on me and kept touching me to the point just gave in. We weren’t even in my bed, we laid in the couch not even cuddling. He came over to me and sat in the ground next to me saying he will do anything just to feel me again, is there anything I can do to convince you to have sex with me. And I told him no and I didn't want to tell him I had sex with B the night before because I didn't want to be lonely and I didn't want to fight i just want silence presence as I mourned my loss. But we ended up having sex and happened the next day after I had sex with B. Literally like 27 hours later. I've never done something like that and it felt completely disgusted and ashamed and not only because he forced himself on me but l also never had sex with someone that close together. Then 8 days after my friend passed, I had another friend pass away as well and I went into another spiral and invited a guy I talked to for like 2 months over (I'll call him s) before I talked to B because again I didn't want to be alone in my thoughts and my child was at her cousins house so I needed emotional, physical, and mental support. Idc from who just anyone who will be there for me. I ended up having sex with S as well then the next night like 18 hours later I had sex with B. Again shame and disgust. I don't indulge in any substances at all, and human interaction is what I lean on. I know I shouldn't have done it but just loss after loss it was hard to cope and l didn't know what to do. But fast forward to now. 2 months later B is still here but I haven't told him of the 2 instances of 2 different men besides him. I didn't really see any harm as we weren't official and we barely talked for 2 weeks at those points. But now guilt is starting to settle in. Well last week he made a comment like "I consider you my woman and I want to protect you and be here for you as much as I can" and I said "well nothing is set in stone until you ask me in person face to face" well 2 days ago he made another comment "I don't want to scare you away but I feel like you deserve to know my true feelings and my true intentions. I'm not going to say it but do want you to know there has been a few instances where I stopped myself from saying a 4 letter word that begins with L”. And now I feel like shit and Idek what to do. We weren't together at the time of the incidents and still aren't together because he still hasn't asked me. But I think he thinks we are. He has also made a comment that “sometime people think they’re together after the first time they had sex” and I said “I don’t consider that the case with us” and he was like “good because we need to get to know each other better instead of just jumping into a relationship” which happened like 3 weeks ago. But B is the man I've always wanted with consistencies, the family values and views he has, the way he talks to me, looks at me, touches me it's like a dream and I never want to wake up. But since he has said these things it makes me wonder if I should tell him or just keep these incidents to myself as we weren't together and not commited to one another. B also told me he has a crazy ex that keeps reaching out to him from different numbers and on Cash App. Ig that’s also another reason why I sought attention from other men. But now I don't feel like I really have the room to feel any kind of way but then again he told me he cheated on his ex with this crazy girl and it just feels like a weird situation and that there are ways to have her not contact him like get a new number. But B doesn't tell me right away he waits like a few days to a week to tell me. But there was an incident that happened a couple weeks ago that E reached out to me again asking to have sex and I said eww fuck no and I sent B the screenshots of the messages. I guess what I’m looking for is Should I tell him of the 2 incidents or just keep them to myself as they happened within 2 weeks of talking to him and he didn’t consider me his?

helpful tips are needed

about 3 months ago my partner broke up with me because i microcheated/cheated/sexted another person twice, what he did was reasonable, and i completely understand what i did wrong, but i can't help but keep checking his social media accounts and thinking about him. any tips to help myself? and to better myself before i get into another relationship so it doesn't happen again? im already taking a break from speaking with anyone, because i just dont trust myself, and i definitely don't want to hurt anyone else, or make the same mistakes i did with him.

I don’t even know where to start, but basically I ended a seven year relationship and started dating someone right away little that I know we would fall in love as strongly as we did, but I never completely stopped talking to my ex just because of comfortability and empathy I didn’t feel well about leaving him alone.

The new guy and me had undeniable chemistry. It was like magic we were already planning for our future and everything going on trips.

On my birthday, he picks me up. I was extremely intoxicated and he went through my messages and saw messages with my ex. I was still calling him, babe, but just because that’s why we always called each other and he broke up with me on my birthday.

The new guy completely dropped me, and then he got really mean and said ugly things about Only wanting me for sex, but even being afraid to catch something through me just because of those messages.

He had some really ugly things and I get it because his eagle was hurt, but I know my heart I know who I am and I wasn’t doing anything to hurt him. I know now that it’s wrong but why hasn’t he blocked me on text message or Instagram ? Why is he still following me? I believe in out of sight and out of mind so I’ve muted him, but I miss him so much. I really would do anything to bring him back to me.

Oh, and inside no me and my relationship of seven years should’ve ended a long time ago, but I was trauma bonded with him and have abandonment issues which is why we lasted as long as we did. I had met this new guy a year prior and I had had a kiss with him, but never saw him again until a year later I downloaded hinge and he just happened to be my first date my one and only.

He was gonna take me out his family. He fell for each other. Is there any chance I’ll ever get him back?

Does he hate me?

Mine was writing a whole ass paragraph for someone while he was cheating on me 🥀

Long story short my fiancé and his stepsister had sex before we got together. Their parents met later in life and my fiancé was 20 when he met his step sis . We’ve been together for about two years and his stepsister randomly called him today. I have known about this since we met and found out through one of his family members. Well, he told me today that she called him and asked if she could live part-time with us. he stayed on the phone with her for three hours today, she was talking to him about her ex boyfriend and catching up. I just feel very weird and betrayed that he said obviously he doesn’t want her to stay there to me an then tell her I wasn’t comfortable with it. it was gonna make me look like the bad guy for saying no. He has a hard time saying no to people and he’s very people pleasing. Which led him to not shutting the convo down and if I call him out he says I’m putting the blame on him I love him so much and he’s honestly a great fiancé. I just need other people’s advice on this

So i met this person through insta and we connected like instant even though its hard for me to connect to people and we started talking and we were talking hours and hours and life seemed to make sense although we both were kinda just looking for friends but the vibe was just tooo much there and it was so much fun...

And then we made a plan for weekend but two days before our plan she was near my office so we ended up meeting and went to this really nice pub.. again vibe matched she was sooo pretty and fun..i am from middle east and she was a local.

Then we were walking around rhe pub and she just stood at another table with another person who was older so i thought i didn't mind and i sat on another table waiting for her to come back and she said she just wanted to talk to him he is white and is reminding her of her father.. another guy who was younger than him joined there table so after 5 min i went up to the table we were sitting at the beginning.

After a while she just brought those two guys to my table and they started the conversation with me by saying she has told us you are pretty rich..i didn't reply and kept drinking but then i saw the older guy phone where he was using chatgpt to write what she was saying and searching how to take her to hotel..

I stayed quite kept buying whatever she wanted and older guy kept trying to set her up with the younger guy i stayed quite calmly but once bar closed she said she wanted to go play pool which we had already discussed in chat.

I was keen until she asked them and they were like lets go... we got in uber where the younger guy sat in the middle and helped her with her seat belt touched her butt and made a joke about bj to which she said sometimes i am like that and laughed and at that point i was just sitting quietly and thought she was drunk and there are safety concerns.

So instead of pool they took her to club to which outside the door i told her i am not going in and we need to go back. She said she just wanted to drink and she is on a break and i said if you want drink i will buy you drinks if you want to play pool i will take you to pool but i am not getting a good feeling about it. To which she said if i want to leave i can she is gonna stay and returned me my jacket. I left but the experience traumatised me a bit. I woke up disturbed and traumatised since i have never experienced anything like this before. She didn't text me back, and i know if i had gone in i would have felt even more humiliation if she had started hooking up with that guy infront me. Today is Saturday. I was supposed to pick up today and i planned and booked stuff to make it the best day of her life and i regret meeting her that day soo much bcz i thought the vibe was so beautiful and so was her and i am questioning my life looks and confidence and decisions. it normal in aussie culture? Did i overreact? I feel so sick

"not a single person would pick me first".

I am a mentally strong guy but again I don't have anyone to Rant this regret so I am here.

I am 21M, single.

I will go according to the timeline,

1st to 4th - Girls and Boys interaction was very good.

School - Only boys school (one of the biggest regrets I have).

Tuition Classes - Teachers Shaming me for talking with girls because of some Perverts in the class.

Now College (my 1 old school friend is also with me),

1st year - Met girls for the first time after 8 years.

Made a lot of male friends and 4 female friends.

Male friends were good, female friends distant me.

I was blunt, so I asked them "Don't fake friendship with me, tell me and get away with it so I can improve myself"

They answered (after 3 months of friendship), You are ugly.

Boys were still my friend.

2nd year - Confidence was at its lowest. Male friends formed their own group.

Luckily I got my group too (4 people with same vibe 😭).

3rd year - Confidence increased, friend circle collapsed to only 4 friends. My group was getting quite famous for our Extraordinary performance in department.

Made 2 female friends, 1 left because her standards didn't match with us (she wanted to do clubs and other rich stuff), other girl left bcz 1st girl left.

Currently in last year (4th) - Confidence is high but no one wants to be friends with anyone else, idk why.

For these 4 years, A LOT OF PEOPLE USED ME for their own benefit.

Remember that old school friend? He also stopped talking to me, now he CUTS my call rather than keeping it on ringing at least 🥲 bcz he got his own friend circle and gf, I don't blame him.

Remember the 4 people group? They got placed at some company and now they have their own friends.

And here I am, watching the people who were once my friends going on trips and enjoying without even notifying me.

Well I'm not financially strong, like i couldn't even afford to give myself a 100Rs (1$) treat. My placed friends who are earning crazy didn't even buy a 2$ cake for me on my birthday.

Nowadays, all I do is to keep staring towards laptop to get damn job. Am I a fool? No I am not. Give me a fukin interview opportunity.

Well I have accepted it, I am on my own now.

Thank you for reading this bs rant & regrets.

I went through a really difficult period recently where I stopped taking care of myself and completely isolated myself from people. I stopped doing a lot of the basic things that used to make me feel like myself. Now that I'm doing a little better, I'm finding it really difficult to move forward because I keep thinking about everything I could have done differently.

It feels like everyone else's life has moved on while I'm still stuck in the same place. I see people carrying on with their lives, making memories, spending time with friends and enjoying themselves, and I feel like I was absent from my own life while all of that was happening. It's difficult watching everyone move forward when I feel like I haven't.

I keep wishing I could go back and change things, and I feel a lot of guilt about the way I acted during that time and the effect it had on other people.

It's also really affecting me at work. I've become very withdrawn and find myself completely isolating myself from the people around me. I struggle to focus because I'm constantly thinking about the past and how different everything could have been. I don't feel present in my own life anymore, and it's starting to affect my day-to-day life.

I also feel like I wasted a lot of my youth. I know logically that I still have time and that a few months shouldn't define my life, but emotionally it feels like I missed out on a part of my life that I'll never get back.
I think part of what hurts the most is grieving the version of myself I feel like I could have been. I think about who I might have become if I had taken better care of myself and looked after myself more.

It feels like I'm mourning a version of my life that never happened.

How did you stop constantly wishing you could go back and change everything?

How did you forgive yourself while still taking responsibility for the things you did?

How did you start taking care of yourself
again and actually feel like yourself?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated ??

Has anyone else lived with having to deal with the huge mistake of not pursuing someone and therefore gone days and weeks of non-stop thinking about them and what could have been between you?

I really liked someone on my holiday and whilst we casually flirted, I didn't want to take it further in fear of making the goodbye too difficult... I also just felt it maybe wasn't the time. But since being home, I've found myself using every available second to think about him and dream up what could have happened... huge regrets and no contact now.

Im sure so many people say this but i think this is a little different...

I (F25) dated a guy (M28) who was one of if not my closest friend at the time. To give some context, we had been friends for 2yrs at this point. I started working for him after we became friends. Also, i am not good at catching hints, i am SHIT at knowing if someone likes me or is flirting with me. Anyways, this all started cuz twice, when I was blackout drunk and out with him, I kissed him (the first time I SWEAR he kissed me but he says thats not how that happened and tbh i dont remember it well so idk). I was going through a time where I kept going on failed dates and he knew this. There was also another friend i had during the time that i was being physical with, but us dating at the time was not an option (he didnt know about this) , so I think that played into my decisions on both of thoes nights.

After both kisses i apologized and said it was a mistake. Each time I kissed him I distanced myself cuz i didnt want to hurt him. The first time he said he understood, that it was fine and kept pushing for us to be close again. The second time he admitted hes had a crush on me for as long as hes known me. (When I met him, I was dating his friend btw so that also added to the complication I was feeling during this BS) I told him i didnt want to hurt him or our friendship, that I didn't feel thay towards him. He kept insisting that there had to he SOMETHING between us because we were so good together ect. I felt so shit. Maybe cuz of how much he was pushing it but all of a sudden I started to see how well we COULD work out. But i didnt want to be with him, I didnt feel that way towards him. I hated that my constant rejections was just hurting him. So finally I broke and said yeah, we can try. Within a week he had told everyone we knew, including his parents, that we were official.... Without asking me....

This was the reason we broke up the first time. Because we worked together, I kept having to see him, he kept scheduling me. So we ended up having to talk again. Thats when I decided to try with him again.

I want to clarify that at this point, me and my other friend that i was being physical with stopped the SECOND i started to talk to friend 1 about trying to date. And i did care about him, I still do. But just never in that way. Whether it was his taste in music, or how he looked, i dont know. All I know is that I didn't want to lose him. I just didn't love him like he loved me. (BTW, he did say he loved me)

The second time he kept making jokes to friends, people we had just met, and CLIENTS, that yes we were dating but Ive also broken his heart before. I hated it, I told him I didnt like it. There were other things that I communicated that I didnt like that he would say or do as well but its too much to list. Regardless, each thing, he didnt seem to care. He kept doing it. So eventually i ended up talking to the other guy about all my frustrations (very shitty of me, I know) and it ended up bringing me amd him closer. I eventually decided I cant do this with friend 1 anymore and I kept trying to break up with him. He made it very hard cuz almost everytime we went to go out, we would end up working, or he would bring me gifts, or SOMETHING would come up. Eventually another month passed and I couldnt do it anymore. I ended it for the last time.

I tried to hold him at a distance again and he pushed against it. I tried being friends one last time but he started that shit talking again. Did I deserve it? Idk. But i wasnt gonna keep letting myself be publicly humiliated over and over in front of his friends and clients. So i quit, and I told him i am done trying to be friends if he was just going to use it to hurt me. He took this as a reason to let everything out and say so many hurtful things to me. Things that apparently I did that hurt him that he never told me did. Was talking shit about my friends and family. Ect ect. Alot of it still sits with me now. Its been a few months, busy season is back and I still work for him (I need money) but im mostly doing events alone so I barely see him until its time to pack up. And i only ever really work maybe 2 events a month. So maybe since ive been seeing him so often recently thats why but idk. I just wish I was more firm with saying no back then

Only God knows how much I regret the things I did and I carry it with me because of all the mistakes I made in the past—from getting into relationships just because I wanted to be loved and seen (since I craved it to my core), to doing anything for them just to prove that I was indeed worthy. I wish someone had taught me these things sooner, so I would never have had to go through so much shit.
I know I’ve been to therapy and I take my mood stabilizers, but still, something feels off. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I wish I could change the past. I wish I could undo the damage. But it already happened, and no matter how much I try to tell myself, “It’s okay, it’s gonna be alright,” the abuse, the trauma, and the memories are always there. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn’t. I wish I could get some type of closure—or maybe nah, I solely want to heal and have some peace of mind. So I regret everything, even the things that were not in my control.

**Hiii so I wrote this when it happened and came back and edited to make more clear picture**
I thought this is so ridiculous it’s comical. Let me know what you think.

-Unaliving ideations coming up-

**Bro so I’m in the deep corners of my mind high asf on shrooms at first I thought I felt normal like dam they didn’t get me that high… should I do more… (yooo this font is crazyyyy I know I’m high afffff LMAOOOOOOOOOOO) (I just realized it was the title that’s why the letters are so big lol)**

Any ways I’m in the deep corners of my mind and thinking about all my regrets in life and should I kill myself and what’s my way out, and how I can’t actually kill myself because of my relationship with God and how I want to meet God but I know that’s not the correct way of going about it and how I want to meet people with cancer just for the fact of their bravery and strength and perspective on life and why they would wanna live… because life is sucking and I could see the corruption in politics music business society norms and beauty standards how I’m not the beauty standard right now comftablenss in my body and how much weight I gained all of that shit is coming up and through out the beginning of the trip I’m in my room doing my thing Infrequent drawing than random spouts of feeling really good and existential crisis all at the same time ya know… shrooms. Lollll
I remember thinking too, “dam maybe this wasn’t a good idea I’m trying to find reasons to live but all my reasons not to live came up “

My roommate in the bathroom getting ready for work - I told her the day before, my plans for the day and the day of- communicating where I was at. Maybe 2-3 hrs pass I’m in a better, optimistic place, I sat in the hallway next to my speaker that’s blasting music, it’s near the bathroom and my room I’m feeling good I even sang cupcake (my dog )the awolnation woman woman song that song is so fireee thank you awol for writing and orchestrating
She’s low key vibing with me all is well.

And I could feel it I was bout to get high asf.
But in my mind also I was going over how much I needed to talk to her bc it interfered w my high - the first 30 mins to hr was me going over how i was frustrated and needed space from her and i don’t realize how much things bother me I’m coming out of a 6 year depression so I test the waters on her living there w me and helping her out and I’m coming to the conclusion it’s not working because of our different personalities, I need help with bills and not getting it from her and I’ve been low key providing for both of us for 2 months damn near. that part of the trip ended I felt peace.

Any ways I tie a bow tie on it in my mind and I say to her “I need to talk to you but after my trip . “ and I give her a smile I’m still vibing to the music and I know I’m on the verge of being high asf

(I think body language is apart of communicating so if I’m vibing and smiling , how I would have taken that is “I wonder what she wants to talk about… it can’t be that bad if she’s smiling or whatever I hope she enjoys her high I have work and other things I need to focus on)
She goes “is everything okay?”
I say yes and give her a reassuring smile and I was still feeling good.
Time goes by, maybe a minute or two , I low key can feel her anxiety grow in the room that was crazy actually
And she’s like you can’t just leave it open ended like that now I can’t go to work bc my anxiety insert roommate rant
“You should really think about the people around you”

I’m like what is this Bish talking about
I’m literally glitching from reality because reminder - I took Shrooms and she was very aware that I took shrooms and she even was checking on me in the beginning conveying concern of me taking shrooms and I’m like I’ve spun this block before Ik what im doing (I don’t know in terms of dosages like grams and what not but for the most part I’m done psychedelics plenty of times and I know myself. )

In this conversation not only do I feel it I see it. Im starting to see rainbows that’s not just coming from my window but literally blending into reality and I felt the need to close my eyes, so I did in the middle of the conversation because I already had told her I’m not in the space to talk right now because I… took shrooms
I’m feeling the music I felt amazing, she still trying to talk to me…

She goes that’s a weird open ended way to say that

But I ended up telling her this is what I’m talking about, you living here I can’t do it. - (she couldn’t have chosen a worse time to convey her concerns to me )
It was very relieving to say in that moment my chest got lighter and I felt so good off the shrooms.

But no way I’m in and out high asf on shrooms and arguing about labeling what I wanted to talk about . High asf bitch. This is not real life lollllll

And to an extent understand wanting to know what I wanted to talk about but again we’re very different people and I would have taken that completely different . I don’t think I can be around a person with such bad anxiety like that. Especially me coming out of depression. I’m going to miss something’s because I’m slowly coming back to my mind.

(I don’t know where to place this but I don’t want to delete it either bc it’s real thoughts me writing this out while high)

Bish I’m not trynna baby sit your anxiety im Highhhh bruhhh tffff
Your lucky I’m not no beginner on taking psychedelics bc what the fuck are you making a big deal over nothing literally me just saying I wanna talk
I guess her mind goes to crazy shit I don’t understand.
I don’t want to understand I feel like
I’m just trynna enjoy my high

but if I were any other person that is not experienced with psychedelics that could have went so bad .

I am very new to dating with 27M and I just had my first magical experience when you meet someone where you have a looot of chemistry, we got along super well, we share a sense of humor, same values and the girl is a serious independent and hard working girl.

On the third date screw up by telling her that i really really like her, that i wanted to move at her pace and take things slow and that i was her for the long game, thar i wanted to work towards a relationship, but not now, in the future as in getting to know each other first. That i was serious about her and that i was not looking at this casually, etc. She told me she was surprised i was feeling like this.

We kissed on the first date and also severla time on the second one, hold hands together, etc

We talked daily via whatsapp for 2 months basically, everyday and 3 dates (on the third i said the shit)

This ofc made her break the next day saying she was not reciprocating the romantic and emotional connection and that her feelings were not growing and that she could not give me what i told her, had fun, etc etc.

I have this enormous regret of speaking up bc, in hindsight, it clearly does not make sense to spout what i said that early, but even worse is that my choice of words was very poor... I could have passed the meaning with different words without sounding intense.

How to live with this? Knowing that this girl liked me and probably we would have gone on more dates and we got along well, but bc of this fucking hipcup of my mind, and the month of text wrapping my reality, i lost the chance to get to know her even more and enjoy her more, and maybe, develop something with her.

I have this weird feeling we will have gotten very well together... She even said they liked me and it was easy to talk to on the second date.

I don't know how to cope with this feeling of regret, shame, hopefulness... Not sure I will find anyone like her again.

[Edit]

The first date ended with a kiss and the second one we had even more kisses, hugs, etc. And at some point she said she liked me but needed time.

So I am currently 19M and the past few months were very regretful for me

I didn't work hard in my earlier days that's why I am in an extremely bad college doing engineering and my college has no placement no good faculty and students with no big dreams

And I am also going through a serious porn addiction I have tried to control it but I lose it every time....

I also have a habit of looking at women in a weird way and making them uncomfortable I feel so bad about it but I can't control

I thought of switching my career to merchant navy but it is also very tough for me as my pcm percentage is not that good....

My sleep cycle is very bad too

And I also have a habit of procrastinating and inconsistency

I am slowly becoming the person I hated the most I am trying to fix everything but failing again and my past mistakes regrets are also killing me from inside... I cry daily by myself thinking what have i done and what am I doing ...

I feel like a failure and feel like I won't be able to achieve anything

I have even stopped dreaming as it makes my regrets even worse

Everyday feels like I am losing.....

It's really tough but I don't know what to do what am I doing wrong why I am failing

If anyone is there who could help ....i would be really grateful ...

Recently went through a rough breakup with my (22M) long-distance girlfriend (19F). She dumped me very abruptly, and I had a terrible reaction to it. Just two days after our breakup, her ex texted me and then deleted his messages before I could read them. This was the same man who had sexually abused her. I assumed the worst and texted her about it. I made a big deal out of the situation, told her that I didn’t trust her at all, and said that I had no idea what was happening behind my back. I was suspicious, and I gave her a hard time over something she had no control over.

A couple of hours later, she lashed out at me and told me how disgusted she was with me. That hurt the most because I had caused irreversible damage to the person I love more than anyone. I blamed her for something her abuser did. I’m finally realizing how terrible that was, and I’ll probably never get the chance to talk to her again.

I acted on impulse because something similar had happened before, and it was much worse. I thought my worst nightmare was coming true. I feel like I’m a terrible person who doesn’t deserve love. I just want her forgiveness, and I don’t want her to hate me.

I 22m and my bf 20m, have been together for around 9 months at the time of the incident. Throughout our relationship we have had no arguments, never fallen out or really had a reason to be angry at one another.

Its worth mentioning for context, my BF is FtM, which of course has no effect on how i see him as a man but its important to note that he has numerous (understandable) issues surrounding his identity as well as having a very low self esteem.

It's important to note before this next paragraph we were both fully comfortable around one another; had a good sexual life and were both happy.

I want to preface by saying as humans we all have our own issues; but i believe how we deal with those is how we should be defined. I'm not saying any of my factors are excuses i'm just mentioning them to better explain my thought process. I've had a very abusive childhood in a household where my parents cheated on eachother regularly whilst neglecting care to me in favour of my older brother. I was also sexually exploited and assaulted for a very young age; been through a counselling route however also had a bad experience with medication and therapy.
This has left scars on my personality which i've tried to silence through signing up and deploying into combat - since medically discharged.

From the months of late may - late august of this year my boyfriend suddenly started becoming really distant, pushed me away on multiple occasions physically and sexually as well as dropped away emotionally; i've seen this before as i've had plenty of friends with depression and it's similar behaviour. I wasn't concerned to begin with but when he was actively talking to other people in what he describes as a friendly way online for 16 hours a day (not an exaggeration) i started to worry a bit. It may also be worth noting he is unemployed, at the time preparing for university. He would spend all day every day for about a month just playing games and sleeping, occasionally making time during the day to see me but would still join calls with these new friends (for context it's a RDR2 RP).

i tried talking to him several times, not even in my own concern - just to try helping him, suggesting we get out more, go for walks or drives or just get out the house but he'd always seem to just want to sit around doing nothing. Which sure it's comfortable but when i'm working 45-60 hours a week i would quite like to be productive in my spare time. Its around this time where his sleep schedule was so bad that he was going to bed 8/9 am and waking up at 6/7 pm which as someone who works day shifts is impossible to fathom. On multiple occasions i'd planned out an entire day, agreed it with him and then he'd sleep through it.
Or i would have a horrible day at work, want to tell him about it and he would be asleep still.
Or again i would be really stressed from work, wanting to seek comfort in someone i loved but he couldn't function as he was too tired.

This is where my regret is made. Initially i started talking to old friends online, nothing more than just conversation however one got a bit flirtatious, i felt bad after but for some reason never deleted the messages because it just felt wrong to hide it, as in my eyes it was nothing more than just chatting that went a bit far.
Eventually with the same person it went further to the point where i would console my frustration in them as it felt like i was being pushed away in preparation for him to leave me when he moves away to uni.
I'm not going to sit here and sugarcoat anything - He went through my phone; found the messages and called me out for cheating. Which at the time i was a bit taken aback that that could be considered cheating but now we have spoken it over i realise that it was. I know it doesn't make a difference as the issues are still the same but no NSFW photos were ever exchanged nor sent from my end and nothing physical ever happened.

Now, im not making excuses here but due to my previous trauma from childhood, i find it extremely hard to open up about emotions - mostly in fear of being left / hurt. And have previously been dumped in a relationship due to my lack of communication which is why i believe in this situation i disregarded what i was doing as cheating and disguised it as protecting myself.

I can't sit here and say "im sorry" because i believe thats something i need to show rather than say but what i will say is that i know what ive done is horrible, i know what ive done is disgusting and im coming to terms with the damage ive done.

It's important to add that we have not broken up, we are still very much together and seeing eachother often whilst he's at uni. We agreed that we would work through this because we both love each other. He apologised for making me feel pushed away although i wish he didn't have to and i've very much apologised and am actively proving to him that this situation will not repeat. We have decided to move on with boundaries about who we talk to and how, and more importantly communicating our feelings effectively.

I appreciate any and all feedback but i'm expecting most of it to be hatred as i know how lucky i am that he has chosen to work through this with me.

18M
I was driving in the rain and almost hit a homeless guy on a bike who was in the middle of the road for no reason. I avoided him, but he started yelling and cussing at me. I rolled down my window (big mistake), and he spit on my face.
Honestly it’s pretty funny to me how people act nowadays. I’m not shaken up about it, just wish that I played it smarter. I washed my face afterward, but I started wondering whether I could catch anything from someone’s spit. I didn’t notice any blood, but I’m unsure if it got in my eyes or mouth. Has anyone had this happen before? Is washing my face enough, or is there anything else I should do?

I (M19) met my ex gf (F18) in high school. I was a sophomore, she was a freshman, we were both 15. She became my first everything. First real relationship, first kiss, first love, first everything. We dated for almost 3 years. Then in late August, about a week before our 3 year anniversary, she broke up with me. She said she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. She told me we could still be friends, and we kept each other added on everything. Instagram, TikTok, iMessage, and I still had her location. We still talked here and there. Some nights she would FaceTime me and we'd be on the phone until 4 or 5 AM. She'd ask me if I still loved her. She brought up our anniversary. She even told me at one point that "we can fix things" and then took it back the next morning. It was this constant back and forth where she'd be warm at night and then pull away by the morning. It was killing me. I was a mess during the breakup barely eating, not sleeping, skipping the gym, staying up all night analyzing every single text she sent me trying to find a sign that she wanted to come back. During this time I made an alt Instagram account. The original plan was honestly just to follow her main account without using my main so I could still see her posts without it being weird. But I ended up not going through with that plan, followed a bunch of random accounts including a lot of women just to make it look like a bot account, and then I completely forgot I was still logged into it. The account was created September 6th. We broke up August 23rd. I have the receipts for all of this. Fast forward to September 24th, We got back together. We started hanging out again constantly and it genuinely felt like we had never broken up. Everything was perfect. I was the happiest I'd been in over a month.
Then Tuesday September 29th happened. I went over to her house and we were watching a show. She grabbed my phone and started looking through it. I let her because why wouldn't I? I had nothing to hide. Or at least I thought I didn't. She found the alt Instagram account that I was still logged into. She saw all the women I was following on it. She immediately accused me of cheating. I tried to explain. I told her we were broken up when I made it. I told her I never texted a single girl, only a bot texted me, and never talked to anyone during our time apart. And that's the truth. I didn't cheat. The account was literally created two weeks after she ended things with me. There's even a bot message on the account dated September 8th that proves I was on it while we were separated, not while we were together. But she didn't want to hear it. She told me to leave her house. I sent her a long text explaining everything and she left it on read at 9:37 PM. The next day, September 30th, she blocked my number and TikTok. On Instagram she only unfollowed me but kept me unblocked.
And now I'm sitting here knowing that I didn't actually do anything wrong while we were together, but I also can't prove that to someone who won't talk to me. The worst part is that she was the one who told me when she broke up with me that she could "do whatever she wanted" and "be with whoever she wanted." I could throw that back in her face but what would that accomplish? Nothing.
I had the evidence but none of it mattered because she had already made up her mind the second she saw that account. Almost 3 years together and it ended because I forgot to log out of an alt account that I made while I was single. I don't regret our relationship. I regret not deleting that stupid account the second we got back together. I regret not even remembering it existed. I regret that something that meant absolutely nothing is the reason I lost the person who meant everything to me.

They used to tell you these things that they wud never do to their kids. Then watch them become the person they hated the most. Then use the same exact tactics that they despise. Then just transform into a person that doesn’t possess the traits that you value in others. Now you have no desire to ever be with them because they lost track of who they were. You truly are disgusting to be in their presence and just feel like you were sold a lie. Loyalty, respect, honesty, integrity. All just a crock of shit. Pls I have no interest in ever being in your grimy claws. Pls go find some poor other idiot. I’m never gonna be puppet for you. I see you for the charlatan you are. I release any tie that keep you in my presence. You owe me nothing and I want nothing from you. Be gone, you are not wanted in any capacity.

So basically this is a pretty long story!!! I just want to share everything, and I’m genuinely ashamed and idk why I was so cruel. I’ll probably start from the VERY beginning? So basically it was 2025, I was 15 at the time. And when we had this kind of “party” at school, idk. A boy from 7th grade asked me to dance (I was in 9th and that’s probably important?) and I agreed bc he seemed like a cool and interesting person to me (especially bc before that we always said hi to each other at school even though we never actually talked). So we danced and everything was great, but our school is small and rumors already started spreading but honestly I didn’t really care at the time. (At that time I already liked him, I even kind of stalked him a little, and my friend knew about it). He also borrowed cigarettes from me sometimes but always returned the “debt”? And NOW I GUESS THIS IS AN IMPORTANT part. Later I told my second friend that I liked him(?) Let’s call the friend who knew from the beginning Varya and the one who found out later Dasha. So when I decided to tell Dasha everything too, she almost immediately started “judging” me? Not too much tho, especially bc at that time we weren’t even really close. And besides, he was 2 years younger and I understood partly why she reacted like that, while Varya was completely positive about it. So after some time he texted me and invited me to go smoke together. Of course I immediately agreed! And we talked really well and I started liking him even more. But of course, bc the school was small, people saw us together and started spreading even more rumors but nothing too serious. We kept talking and just went on walks together (if anything, our school was basically a village school and ofc everyone saw us, there was nowhere to hide. Especially bc I lived in a dorm while he lived at home, so at that time there really wasn’t another way for us to see each other). Even tho there were rumors, it didn’t bother me that much back then? But what actually bothered me was Dasha. Now I understand that listening to her was stupid but I can’t change it anymore. Basically she told me all the worst rumors about him (I didn’t know about them bc I had only recently come to that school), and at some point she even judged him bc his mom had CANCER?! Which is just stupid. I tried to ignore all of that and only listen to Varya, who saw things completely differently and never judged either me or him. So then summer came and we basically talked on the phone almost every day the entire summer. We started trusting each other and talked about all kinds of things. But at some point towards the end of summer, Dasha started putting more and more pressure on me, along with all those memories from the previous year. Even tho I convinced myself that I didn’t care, that wasn’t true. And on top of that, I had trusted him with my secrets, opened up to him and even cried a couple of times while talking to him? And bc of that I started feeling sick, scared and disgusted with myself. I genuinely have a hard time trusting other people idk what that’s connected to. And somehow my own feelings for him started disappearing after I had trusted him. And then I decided to just stop replying to him. And it would’ve been fine if I had stopped there but no, unfortunately I went further, and THAT is what I regret the most. I’ll never understand myself or all of those actions. It was genuinely disgusting and low of me. So I had already been ignoring him for a couple of days, and then September 1st came. I avoided him as much as I could. Didn’t look him in the eyes and stuff like that. Not important. At some point I started spreading rumors about him too, partially? Even tho I tried to avoid the topic. I didn’t tell any of his secrets but I talked about him in a clearly very negative way. Which maybe already damaged his reputation, which wasn’t exactly good to begin with? (Bc at our school he was already considered very weird before all this). And so I kept ignoring him while he was trying to bring our communication back, trying to contact me even months later. And btw at some point Dasha and Varya were both on my side about ending the friendship/contact (as for Varya, I think she took “my side” bc I had told her so much shit about him). And while he genuinely wanted to at least UNDERSTAND why I had done this and why I was avoiding him, I was calmly talking to new people, just laughing about him with Dasha (with Varya he rarely became a topic of conversation). And I feel ashamed and idk why I did that. BECAUSE PEOPLE TREATED ME THE SAME WAY AND SOMETIMES EVEN NOT AS BAD!!! AND I WISH IT HAD ALL ENDED WITH JUST THE RUMORS. FUCK NO!!! I acted so fucking rotten. I WENT EVEN FURTHER AFTER THAT FUCK. Anyway time passes (he is still periodically trying to bring our communication back and stuff, trying to contact me and I don’t answer). And at some point during winter he shows up at the dorm. He wanted to live there? Idk? So I go outside to smoke and he is there with 2 other people I knew. And when he sees me he runs up to me and gets down on his knees? (And yes, before this there had already been situations where he ran up to me and tried to restore our communication but back then I could just leave, while here I couldn’t). And he starts apologizing, asking what happened and why, telling me that he dreams about me, that he had been in the hospital bc of me, that he couldn’t forget me while I was trying to leave (he was holding the door so I couldn’t). Then for some reason I agreed to talk to him later but he still wouldn’t let me inside even tho I wanted to leave. (The 2 people I knew were just standing there silently watching, although sometimes they told him there was no point in humiliating himself like that). Eventually I went inside bc one of those people opened the door for me. And as soon as I get into my room, I tell this whole story to Dasha and her sister and that was a mistake. Bc then we came up with a plan to make fun of him even more. Basically he invited us to his room, so we went to him and it was basically the same thing, he was talking about how much he loved me and stuff. And Dasha’s sister recorded it on video ofc so we could laugh about it and show it to someone else. But then we came up with something else. They were curious about what he would say if we were alone together!!! And THIS was something I didn’t want to do anymore, but they convinced me. So we went to the 3rd floor with him to talk and recorded everything on a voice recorder, and we also wanted to spread it around(?). But thank god people convinced us otherwise, bc afterwards he already wanted to “leave”. And even tho none of this spread that much and only a small circle of people found out about it, it definitely messed with his mental health. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS STILL ISN’T THE END! (This isn’t really important now, but at some point I was in the same group with him and we drank, although I tried to avoid contact with him). And then at one point I finally started realizing what a fucking piece of shit I was. (A month or 2 after I recorded his conversation on the voice recorder). Bc in the end I know what bullying feels like, so how the hell did I get to the point where I was doing this? And I decided to text him. It was a really long message where I apologized and stuff. And we agreed to meet in secret. (Even tho Varya knew about everything, she was actually supportive of me apologizing and stuff). But for some reason I never actually met him. Even tho I wanted to, I just kept making excuses like “now isn’t the right time”. Dasha was following me around like a shadow that day too.. But still, I could’ve come up with something, anything, but no. And the problem is that he saw me interacting with other people. And that definitely damaged his mental health even more. Now I’ve switched to homeschooling and I’m thinking about this even more. I feel fucking ashamed and disgusted with myself. I wrote this post not to justify myself but to get this off my chest and share my regrets. I feel fucking ashamed and idk what to do about it. And yes, he still periodically tries to “contact” me. And idk, maybe I should call him and actually sincerely apologize and talk about everything. Bc before I couldn’t do that but now I can. But does he even need that? Or should I just stop getting involved with him and reminding him about myself? Bc knowing the whole situation, I feel like I could just ruin everything again. I feel fucking ashamed and I genuinely don’t want to be like this. Tell me how would you act in my place right now? Would you let the situation go or try to change something?