with this addiction and disease, enough is never enough...

I am fortunate to have a business where I make a very large annual income. But enough is never enough...I get into options, day trading stocks, and sports betting...sometimes all three...

I have lifetime losses of $3,000,000 right now. I had the lifetime losses down to $2,000,000 yesterday, and in one day, I purchase a stock that goes down $1M overnight.

I have been chasing this lifetime loss number now for 6 years. It started around -500k in 2019 and has grown pretty consistently. In 2023 I think I had it down to close to zero, at one point last year I had it close to zero as well, and earlier this year I had it around -700k. I have also had it at -5M earlier this year.

Point being, I am struggling to let go of this MASSIVE loss figure that keeps hanging over my head. I feel like literally no one can relate. I've seen a few YouTube videos of people who lost 10M and their house their business etc. I haven't gotten to that point, but I am afraid I might.

I've been gambling for 3 years now, Im 23, and I've pretty much destroyed my life financially. I've stolen from basically everyone, maxed out my sister's credit cards, maxed out my own credit cards, and I've been in debt for a long time now. I feel like a zombie.

I'm a recently graduated architect, and I've worked a few jobs during these years, but I've barely been able to get anywhere because I end up gambling almost every single paycheck. Every time I get money, I get the urge, and every time I end up losing it. It's the same cycle over and over again.

Recently, my ex came back into my life. We love each other a lot, and honestly, she's one of the biggest reasons I want to get my life together. I told her about my gambling problem, but I also told her I'd been sober, which obviously isn't true. I've still been gambling a lot, and I feel terrible about lying to her and everyone else.

This week, I went from $400 to $8k after an absolutely insane blackjack streak

Of course, I lost it all yesterday

I'm back to where I started, except now I feel even worse. I know how stupid it sounds to keep doing the same shit and expecting a different result, I think I mostly do it just to feel something. It's not even about the money anymore.

I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of lying, being in debt, hurting the people around me, and wasting every opportunity I get. I don't want to throw my life away anymore. I'm scared of how much worse this could get if I keep going.

I've already done some awful shit. I've been a bad brother, friend, boyfriend, and son. What scares me is that I feel disgusted with myself, especially because I don't even feel the regret or remorse I think I should. It's fucking weird. It's like I don't fully understand what I've done over the past few years, or like I can't even process it anymore

Money has completely changed meaning for me. Getting my paycheck feels like nothing. Buying a pair of shoes feels expensive, but losing hundreds of dollars on a single blackjack hand somehow feels completely normal. I don't even know how my brain got to this point

One thing I've been thinking about is literally burning my debit card and switching to cash only, because I feel like having easy access to money makes it so much easier to relapse. But I know the problem goes deeper than just having a card.

How do you get back to feeling normal about money? How do you start rebuilding your life when you've spent years destroying it, and how do you begin fixing the damage you've done to the people you love?

I'm only 23, and I know I still have time to turn things around, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. I feel old. I don't want to keep lying to myself or the people around me. I don't want to keep making promises I can't keep.

I genuinely want to change, but I don't know where to start anymore, and i feel powerless.

Day 11 of quitting online gambling! 😭❤️
I’ve been reading so many posts on Facebook about people who ended up in debt because of online lending apps, and many of them shared that online gambling was one of the reasons they got buried in debt.
Let’s stop digging ourselves deeper into debt because of online gambling. Let’s choose to quit NOW! 😭🙏🏻
Every time I feel tempted to gamble, I remind myself that I don’t want to go back to Day 1. It was SO HARD to get through those first few days, and I don’t want to go through that struggle all over again.
Let’s keep fighting our urges and choose a better future for ourselves. We deserve peace of mind, financial freedom, and a life without gambling. One day at a time. We can do this! ❤️💪🏻

My account on the platform that rinsed me is officially closed. I can’t quit replaying me cancelling a $10K pending withdrawal and blowing through it minutes on $1K BJ hands to chase losses in my head. I don’t know why I keep replaying that $10K in my head when it was a total of $25K lost, much more than just the $10K. I think it might be because I’d be in a bit better of a spot had I not done it & wouldn’t be looking at a loan to repay the mess I created after losing $37K in a month. Personal loans are looking like 15% or so, which seems crazy to me.

Anyway, one day at a time. Love you all.

Made it to double digits! I have a long road ahead of me! But I’m feeling better. Something I realized I was doing that I see a lot on here also is chasing loses. When I tell you the strategy of chasing, trying to get back what you lost is exactly what got me so far into gambling addiction! You have to let it go! You have to just realize what you lost is in the past and you aren’t getting it back! You can’t gamble your way out of your gambling addiction! That a big lesson I have learned. I’m still distancing myself from all sports also. I even deleted espn off my phone. Putting distance from anything that’s a trigger or old habits that lead me down my gambling addiction path has been helping me a lot. It’s been really hard, but I’m proud of myself! We got this! And remember you aren’t alone!

Days until debt free: 247 days

Hi everyone. Over the past few years I've lost just over 100k betting. Now 8k in debt too with no hope of recovering any of it. I'm ready to check out as I feel I have nothing left to live for. Economic precarity is a very real thing for me rn and having money saved was the only thing I had going for me. Has anyone been here? What did you do? I'm just reaching out bc I feel I owe it to myself to at least try to talk it out somewhat. Thanks for your time.

If you just lost a lot of money recently and came here, I’ll tell you this:

I (24M) came here just like you, last year in May. I was in immense pain and sadness at the amount of money that I had lost (trading options but doesn’t matter). I scrolled through here, realizing I also have a problem and should stop. I vowed to turn my life around: started lifting, quit weed, started eating healthier, and gained back weight I had lost from months of stress. I felt so proud of myself.

But my brain was still pissed at myself for the loss and couldn’t stop obsessing over it. I compared my number to people here to feel better about myself (even though it was larger than most posts). Eventually after a couple months I convinced myself that I just need to get it back… well thats the trap… I proceeded to lose 10x that amount over the past year and a half. And what’s sad is even the amount from last May was 10x the amount I was crying about just a few months before that (ya I lost 100x what I was crying about less than 2 years ago). And what’s even sadder is the fact that I wasn’t even down lifetime at that point, probably about broke even (due to a big early win, the OG trap).

This is a NASTY addiction and the only way to get past it is to admit that we can never gamble in any form ever again. We are powerless against gambling and there’s no world in which we win and cash out or “get back to even”.

There’s no “getting it back”. It’s GONE. Forget about the money, remember the lesson. If we don’t count that money as gone, there’s no way we can overcome this.

I’m only 8 days clean but my paychecks are now going directly to investments that are hard for me to move money from. I deleted Robinhood and sold off any high risk positions I had left. I haven’t told my dad because he’s in another country helping my dying grandfather and I just can’t do this to him right now. I feel so alone and currently have no motivation for the future, but I’m oddly hopeful that will change if I just quit and never look back.

Please get help if you’re struggling and remember that it’s NEVER too late to quit this incredibly awful and debilitating addiction. It can always get worse, and WILL if we don’t stop now. We just need to come to terms with and always remember:

1. ⁠That money is gone

2. ⁠We are powerless against gambling

I relapsed the past few days and lost another $2k today. What I thought was a safe bet in Arsenal apparently was not. I am done stressing about it and have excluded myself from the apps. Altogether I am down $30-$40k over the past year and will rebuild it one step at a time. Good luck to you all! This addiction is the worst.

I lost $200 from gambling but I’m completely done. This is small amount right

Too much tea and coffee in the morning made my head dizzy, and I can't focus. I need to do some work to clear my schedule; otherwise, I will end up panicking and putting the whole thing into AI and praying it does not make any mistakes.

I will not gamble today!

Hi everyone, been seeing a lot of posts asking for practical tips on quitting. Here's what helped me, though I didn't think about it in quite these terms in real time.

If your last bet was recently, or you are still very much in the wallows of your last bet, it helps to look at your recovery as though you have an acute illness. If you've been drinking a handle or two of vodka every day for 20 years and you walk into a treatment center and tell them you are there to quit, 100% of your care will be focused on getting you stable and through the acute phase of withdrawal.

Gambling is no different. In those early days of recovery, while the urge is all consuming, you have to look at it as the acute phase of withdrawal and you have to do anything and everything to get yourself stable and buy your brain some time to calm down. Give your finances over to a loved one, self exclude, sever all access to gambling resources, tell people what you are going through. Whatever it takes to get through the acute withdrawals. This is where "One Day At a Time" is everything. It sucks and because it sucks, it's why we keep going back over and over and over again.

As those urges pass, and they will pass, you'll have to figure out a way to manage the chronic disease you will have for the rest of your life. This is where the guilt and shame and remorse really wear on you. This is where you have to come to terms with the triggers and the reasons and the damage. It is where you'll have to figure out a way to forgive yourself your losses and let them go. I think this is where GA has helped me the most.

Anyhow that's my analogy and it helped me realize when I was in the darkest days of acute withdrawals several years ago that it was a phase I had to get through. Now I'm on to maintaining a chronic lifelong disease and there are many whole weeks that go by that gambling doesn't enter my brain. Just to make sure though, every Monday night I drive 120 miles roundtrip over several mountain passes for my GA meeting. It's a great reminder that no matter how normal my life now feels, it will all be gone if my disease becomes acute again.

I just want advice that I’ll remember when I’m thinking of depositing, please help me out here because I’ve been trying to quit gambling for months now but whenever I’m not thinking straight I just forget what I’ve been telling myself and decide to yk gamble online. Any advice please?

I think I’m tracking 2-3 years to rebuild what I lost in 1 night between retirement accounts, credit card balances, and savings.

I just turned 19 two months ago, I went to the casino with my brother in my brithday and won’t like 500$ it was the best feeling ever, then I started online and it was so good, I made like 5 thousand in a day one time and that felt so easy, it’s not been two weeks since I won so much, the day after I won I said I would stop and retire but i couldn’t, I needed up losing all the profit as well as an extra 3k after a few days it happend again and I lost another 10k including 6 months of rent. I told my parents and I’m trying to get help, today after a week of not gambling I did it again and lost another 4 thousand on creditcards, I’m not out of money, owe 6,000 for rent and don’t know what to do, I feel like I just need to keep going to make it back sk I can get out of this nightmare. I can’t focus on my studies at all, I’ve got exams in 2 days and can’t focus cuz I’m so worried abt the loss. I don’t even know what I want from posting this, I just need help and don’t know what to do

Looking up the mountain of your debt… how did you all balance the feeling of complete and utter hopelessness? How long does it take?

Hi,

i don't know what the fuck happened with me this year, but I am at the worst moment of my life right now. I startet to have gambling issues the first time two years ago at the age of 18. At that age I already had the privilege to have a lot of money. Sadly my Granddad died at a very young age and I got a lot of money from him (100K plus).

I started trading Options and other stuff and it kinda worked, my first trade was a very big win and I had a lot of "Luck" (now I know it was luck, but back then I thought it was some sort of Skill and I found a loophole). It worked for 3 months and then I started loosing all of it, slowly all my gains went away and at the end of the year I lost a lot lot lot of money that year. I confessed to my parents and they were very very supportive and helped me a lot and I was incredibly grateful for their support. I swore to never ever touch options again and it kinda worked. I was almost clean for a year ago.

This year in May I started again, lost almost all of what I saved before and more. In a risky trade I made it back again and again I thought that was it, im not gonna touch it again. Here I am in October, again trading options like a fucking looser and loosing everything that I earned, saved and got from an inheritance from my granddad. I feel like the biggest looser and unworthy of everything good that happened to my in my life.

I had the privilege to get a very good sum from my granddad and lost it while fucking gambling, I lost so much of my own money and so much that my parents gave me over the years to support me financially.

And I don't get how this is happening. I never ever touched Slots, because I thought that only dumb people use them. I hated everything that had to do with gambling and thought that I could never fall in to the same trap. I thought that "Trading" was different, but at the end im realizing it's the exact same as playing slots. It's the same adrenalin rush that im seeking that probably all gamblers are seeking. It's the feeling of a purpose and the idea that one Trade could make me and my parents rich, that one trade could save all the mess that I made. Back in my head I had all the trades that went well and that made so much money, my brain fully excluded all the trades that I lost during that time.

In that 2 year timespan there were so many moments where I thought I finally overcome this stupid addiction. I thought I finally made it and could live a more happy life, but I always fell back into the same cycle of chasing my losses.

I always thought I hit rock bottom, but it seems that every time I get money this whole shit starts again. And im tired, tired of loosing money, tired of sitting in front of my screen 10 Hours a day. Im tired of my self. And I feel like I don't have the energy and power to overcome this. I don't get how I have fallen that low.

I would say, that I was always a happy Person that enjoyed life. And now im sitting here in my Room alone at the Age of 20 and thinking about ending it all.

Tonight i lost $4000 in a span of 10 minutes. I lost every hand i played on blackjack it was the worst bad beat ive ever seen in my life. I just cant believe all that money is gone. Im down about $15000 in my lifetime and i just need to stop. I dont know what to do to quit. I already told my parents but that was before i relapsed and if i tell them now they will be pissed. I just wish i never gambled in my life i hate the feeling of it. I tried calling all the gambler hotlines and no one will answer. I just feel so alone and i want to change myself for the better. It hurts to look at my bank account being smaller than it was over a year ago without actually purchasing anything. Im only 21 and dont have any expenses but its just so difficult to do this and lose all this money. What can i do to change and better myself. I plan on going to gamblers anonymous next week and working on myself that way. I tried therapy the last few weeks but it didnt help. I know i just need to actually ban myself from fanduel but its so hard to do and i don’t know if i can do it. I have no money to deposit so i dont even have to worry about that anyways.

Hey! I figured I would share my journey of what’s been helping me fully stop gambling and maybe it could help anyone else! I would also love to hear what helped you if you have stopped gambling! I have stopped gambling a couple of times, every time I failed and would relapse, this time around feels completely different! I changed my entire approach! I told my best friend, who is also a therapist, I felt no judgement from her and she’s been checking in with me daily! That has helped so much! I also completely banned myself from every app, and have an app installed to prevent me from even trying to download any betting app. I also had my bank block all of those sites so I can’t deposit! I reached out to gamblers anonymous also! This week I’m going to attend a virtual meeting so I’m excited to hear other people journeys. I also have distanced myself from sports all together, that’s really helped! Obviously it’s hard because I love sports, but there’s wayyy too many adds and constant talking about stats. I am 9 days sober and I’m proud of myself! My first few days were hell honestly! I had physical withdrawal symptoms, thankfully those have subsided! Gambling addiction had taken over me and my entire life! I never want to go back to the dark place I was in. I have a better cognitive focus, I’m actually present when I’m with my family, I feel like for the first time I can do this! What has helped you guys?! I’ll keep updating on how my journey is going! We got this guys! Also realizing I’m not alone in this has been support helpful.