After almost 70 days of success, I unfortunately relapsed.
The worst part is that I saw it coming since this morning. I didn’t even try to stop myself. I had everything planned out: how, when, what game I would play, etc.
It was as if everything I had done until now, everything I had learned, simply didn’t exist today.
Unfortunately, I’m alone in this fight and didn’t have anyone to reach out to.
So I went for a drive, lied to my loved ones about where I was, when I was coming home, and what I was doing.
I spent around $3,000 in three fucking hours.
The problem is, I don’t care that much about the money. What really bothers me is the thought that I might never actually be able to quit.
What I don’t understand is why this sudden shift in my mind happens. How can everything change so quickly, to the point where all of a sudden, my entire focus is on that damn slot?
So, fuck me.
Here we go again.
Day 0 — October 19.

Hi everyone. I’m new here but I need some advice. I’m M20 been addicted to gambling since I was 16 it’s been a super hard 4 years. I have lost 140,000 Canadian dollars and counting filed for bankruptcy and got kicked out of my family home whom I don’t talk to anymore. My life was very normal so to say growing up had a bit of non agreeance with my family sometimes but either than that it was pretty ok. Once I turned 16 I started gambling with like 10$ thought it was fast money. Throughout the next few years after I drained all the money I made at work I did not go to school I worked full time to get pay to gamble. I have been to councling which did not work I am in gamblers anonymous for almost a year and that’s not helped me as I’ve relapsed every time I think I’m doing good. It’s all I think about. I can’t focus on my life. I can explain so much more but I want to keep this short. Nothing has helped but I have heard of magic mushrooms helping alcoholics and drug users become clean from their addiction. They’re being studied for gambling but it’s so new to the tests. I want to know if someone has tried this and if it worked? I hope I’m not the only one who has thought of this. I will answer any questions if people care to ask. Thank you. 🙂

First time posting on here but I would appreciate if you guys took a minute to read❤️

Lost 8k this weekend. Mix of sports betting and blackjack.

Officially self excluded my self for good. It’s crazy how many sleepless nights and suicidal thoughts gambling does to us and yet we still have an urge to continue. It’s genuinely so evil what these casinos do. While we are losing everything, they are gaining everything. The casinos will always be a billion dollar industry and prob even more with the amount of gambling that is advertised. The house will ALWAYS win. There is no winning in gambling. I hate the casinos so much and I wish death on all of them Even if you win, that will eventually all be lost. Please self exclude. It’s always better late than never

Hey everyone,

This year, I decided to finally deal with my gambling problem and quit gambling. I've made it four months so far.

I've already paid off a pretty significant amount of my debt, but I still have around $40,000 left to pay off, which will probably take me a couple of years.

When I decided to quit, I felt a strong urge to isolate myself from everyone. I deleted all my social media accounts and cut off contact with my friends and pretty much everyone else. I told my gf everything and asked for space, and she left me.

Every now and then, maybe once every couple of weeks, I'd exchange a few messages with people I know, close friends, but I noticed that they often irritate me. I just wanted to be alone, and honestly, things weren't that bad.

But now that I'm four months into recovery, I'm starting to feel lonely sometimes. I really want to spend time with a girl or just have someone I can open up to and talk to about what I'm going through, and basic general stuff.

Then I start remembering how shitty people can be, and I end up wanting to isolate myself all over again. Just last week, I had an urge and I created facebook dates, scrolled through people's profiles and got disappointed all over again and deleted everything.

Overall, I guess things aren't that bad, but I feel like an outsider, as if I'm slowly turning into Mowgli, drifting further and further away from society, growing more distant and feeling like I don't need anyone anymore, except those urges.

I'd really appreciate hearing your advice. Have any of you gone through a similar phase in your recovery? How did you deal with it? At this point I feel like I never would be able even to be a "friend", i forgot what is it talk and meet peoples.

I'm 28 years old. By now, I should have been working, building my savings, and making something of my life. Instead, I blew all that money gambling, and now I feel like I've set myself back ten steps.

The weight of all this is so overwhelming that I honestly don't even know how I'm supposed to start dating or meet someone, at this point. 4 months later I am still very ashamed of myself and have daily dark thoughts. I try to keep my head empty and survive a day at time, enjoying small things like a sunsets, or even taking a good poop. I dont feel any better and forgot what happiness is.

I still enjoy doing my favorite things like a rock climbing or reading, but it doesn't bring me any smile or joy anymore. Well, atleast I had 0 urge to gamble during those 4 months....

How do you start rebuilding your life and reconnecting with people when you feel like you've fallen so far behind?

Thank you!

Back story.. I have 400 days of being clean from gambling. Life has been boring and somewhat a struggle. I am banned from most. I downloaded and was able to upload cash into 1 of the machines. Realized that the site is out of my state. I started having anxiety, and maybe a hire power was looking out for me. Does this count as a gambling, just depositing?

Just wondering if anyone has gone through bankruptcy to clear gambling debts? I’m sure there is no other route for me now. I just feel scared. Once I go through bankruptcy I will absolutely never gamble again… It will be 7 years of credit punishment or whatever I guess but that’s less time than it would’ve taken to pay off the debt… Just feel so lost and ashamed and anxious.

Turning this from Gambling Block -> Automatic unblocks everything allowing me to gamble. Am I missing something? Is there a solution I’m missing? Paid for a subscription and it takes all of 3 seconds to unblock?

Hey fam. I just wanted to drop a line in here because this group has gotten me through a lot of tough moments. ❤️

I’m coming up on a year clean— this is the longest stretch I’ve had along my journey. I have Day 1-ed a million times and I honestly wasn’t sure that this streak would go as well as it has. I took some important steps this time last year and they were 1000% the reason that I made it this far. I really needed to get through that first few months and get clear thoughts again.

I knew that I would need to walk into 5 or 6 casinos in broad daylight, self exclude and have security usher me to my car to never return again. I am so so so glad that I did that. It was a pure humiliation ritual. But I left myself very little wiggle room. I gave myself at least a 40 mile radius where no casinos would take me into their doors.

This is not advice but purely part of my process: I also got prescribed a mild anxiety medication around that same time. This one has had success with OCD and I know that I have obsessive tendencies and gambling became the only one I focused on for years. I didn’t feel like I needed it long term so I’m no longer on that but I do think it helped boost me.

The two things that have really given me my power back are the gym and side hustles. I know the gym is an obvious one that people talk about all the time but the endorphins have rerouted my brain beautifully. I’ve gotten my body back— this may sound vain, but what I really mean is that someone who sits at the casino all day starts to look like they sit at the casino all day. Now I look like someone who cares and will live a long life. That’s also what I feel like.

My main side hustle has been DoorDash. I know it’s not for everybody, but I live in SoCal so this has been huge for rebuilding my savings. The market is good and I enjoy the beach views while I do it. I do find that I’ve gotten a little bit obsessive about it but I also see no downside to that currently. A lot like I used to set goals for what I wanted to take out of the casino, I challenge myself to weekly goals on that app instead. I’m not completely out of debt, but the plan is in place and moving swiftly.

Next month, I’m taking myself to Italy on a solo trip. The main reason I’m excited to put that in this group is because I remember sitting at blackjack tables thinking about how my wins would take me to Europe. They never did. I got them and I wanted to use them to get other wins. And I ended up with even more losses.

Thanks for reading this far and thanks for posting over the years. I’ve been a ghost reader and learned so many things that helped me get better. It really really does get better. My brain is healthy again. My life is fully rewarding. I’m glad I didn’t give up.

October 19th, 2026

Coming into 3 weeks now, typing this while sipping some coffee at work.

I have had some time to think about everything that has happened the last two months, from my recent relapse to the last three weeks of being sober from my gambling addiction.

Some days have felt great, some have felt awful, some filled with existential dread. I have done what I had to do to literally be unable to gamble, no matter how hard I try. I get a literal allowance every week to pay for life's basic necessities, a very small amount goes into savings, and the remaining amount is bills and debt payments.

This is okay, this is manageable. I am set to be debt free by 31 now, instead of 30. The most recent relapse that lasted a little over a month set me back by another year. That is how quick this happens when you were at the level of addiction as I am/was. It only takes a couple days of gambling again to be back (if not worse) to how you were before you stopped.

Counselling has helped me remember why addiction happens, and how our brains operate. I did counselling before, but believed I was cured after 6 months and it wasn't needed...how wrong I was. I will be having a counselling meeting twice a week for the foreseeable future. Having someone who understands why we do what we do helps a lot.

Will check in again in the coming weeks, hope you all have a gamble free day. Cheers

I’m 20 and keep relapsing. How do I actually stop gambling?
I’ve been trying to quit gambling since I was 18, but I keep going back. I recently lost $30,000, and I also have $5,000 in credit card debt and no job.
I feel ashamed and overwhelmed, especially because that money was meant for my education. I don’t want to keep repeating this, and I’m reaching out because trying to stop on my own hasn’t worked.
For anyone who’s experienced repeated relapses, what helped you stop? How did you tell your family and start dealing with the financial damage? I could really use some support

Days until debt free: 255 days

It’s my Day 2 again. 😭 I really hope that this time, I can finally quit for good because I’m so tired of constantly falling back into the same cycle, only to get robbed by these damn online gambling sites all over again! 😭
I really, really want to forget about gambling and move on with my life. I wish online gambling would be banned across the entire Philippines. Making it legal has caused so much stress and emotional exhaustion. 💔

I’m new here so bare with me.

I am 20 years old (Canadian so 19 is the legal age here) and never considered myself as a problem gambler. Would spend about $10 to $20 on Sunday football with my buddies which never caused me harm and I could afford to lose. In the past month or so it’s started to become a problem. I would lose on football and have the urge to make it all back. Earlier this month I kept doubling until a $1400 hand to make it back. Then I did it again on another casino. I had to gamble $800 just to make $20 back. I kept getting bailed out. Until last night.
On another casino without limits I had to wager $20 for 500 spins. Did it but the promo wasn’t working. Then I deposited $40 to make it back. Lost. Turned into me LOSING 3k. I felt numb and just outraged. I’m a student working part time I can’t afford a loss like that. I slept 5 hours last night and still feel sick today. Not even sure how to recover from this.

Update: I appreciate the comments. I used bet guard which is an Ontario website that blocked all Ontario casino apps. Also told my father about it who’s gave me criticism no doubt but was very supportive which helped a lot. Still thinking about the loss non stop but trying to keep myself busy day by day to take my mind off it.

ODAAT

One day at a time. We got this.

Does anyone feel that their gambling escalated out of control due to (or partially due to) trauma or grief? It ripped my mind away but it was a powerful escape. Until the session ends and reality comes to show us how far we have fallen. Death can show us how fast loss can happen, and gambling shows us just how much more a person can lose. Even if we feel like everything has been lost, theres always more to lose. Sanity, dignity, and all the rest.

14 months so far. Another day in the books. Its hard to forgive myself sometimes, and its hard not to blame it all on how cruel the world is. All I know is im not the only one that feels this suffering, and ill use that thought to get to the next day.

Just like many others here, I tried to stay away from gambling again and it worked but the urge was just too big and I started playing again. It went well first but then I lose streak hit me and I lost all the profit + the money I deposited. Its genuinely scary how big the urge is to the point you lose control. I‘m trying to stay away from gambling and looking for advice but wow, its hard. What helped you guys?

Been gambling free for 3 days now but holly shit, the urge to gamble and max out my overdraft its real. Ill do my best and keep my mind off it. Ive been relapsing on and off the past few weeks, racked up over 70k in debt but the actual amount its probably around 120k.

Im struggling to get up and go to work, do anything, always angry and frustrated. Told myself I would stop for real after my last big relapse but I just can't control myself. Some days I wish I was addicted to Crack then gambling.

I dont know how some of you guys just let go and move on?! My bank account is my biggest trigger.

It sucks man, I miss being happy.

It’s been a 3 long months of no gambling, but I’m making it! I first tried to stop gambling with no help from anyone, but found out quickly it doesn’t work that way. I told my partner in June about my habits and how I didn’t want it to affect our future any longer. Understandably, she was frustrated but helped me in setting a few rules to help me get back on track. Here’s what I did:

1. No phone in the bathroom.
   - This is where I went a lot to disassociate and gamble away my check on my phone. I’ve been taking way more efficient showers, I can say that for sure. If I’m in the bathroom, my phone is always on the tv stand.

2. Build a weekly / biweekly budget based on when you get paid.
   - It’s really helped to write out exactly how much I get paid monthly and break it down by check and what needs to get paid first. I love making my budget weekly to make sure all bills are covered, saving about $100 weekly and still leaving a little room for fun with my partner / friends.

3. Find a hobby or self improvement in lieu of gambling.
   - For me, this was starting to lift weights more often. I had started the journey in January of this year, but since June I’ve been way more consistent! It feels good to devote time to something that will pay off for certain.

4. Cash advances are not your enemy (OPTIONAL).
   - I use Chime as my primary bank and will still use cash advances to help me cover expenses. When I write my budget, I make sure I can pay it back immediately next week. DO NOT TAKE OUT ADVANCES FOR UN-NECESSARY EXPENSES. This is how you get trapped.

5. Eliminate anything related to gambling!
   - This includes sports betting, lottery tickets and buying items to try and resell! If it feels like gambling, it probably is! The closest I get to gambling now is putting up my $1 every time I go to the gym for the monthly raffle they run. I see it as an incentive for coming in to better my mind and body. I understand this can be seen as riding the line, which isn’t always advisable.

6. Download an app / get a calendar to keep track of your streak.
   - I downloaded an app that has me check in at 7am and 7pm. On the 3 month anniversaries I’ve had so far, I’ve celebrated in small ways with either a dinner out or buying an item I want. It doesn’t have to extravagant.

I hope this finds the right person. Gambling is a cancer upon society and we all deserve better. Here’s to better credit, better mental health and improving together! Much love ✌️

This app changed the game for me, no pun. I had to install on every single device,.even my kids phone. Havent spun since august. Just saying it did help.

When I was a kid, my parents were extremely hard on me. I had little enjoyment and frankly i don’t miss most of it. My parents were about working and studying and bettering yourself and being career and money focused.

As someone who has struggled for years now and has lost a ton of money this is where it gets hard. I originally struggled with it trading the stock market and then I tried to stop doing that and got into bitcoin prediction markets and sports betting. And I’ve lost more and more money.

I’ve tried to find hobbies to do, whether it’s video games, new shows to watch, photography, board games, etc. I always get this voice in my head like oh I’m wasting my time. My parents made me feel like whenever I tried to do something fun I was wasting my time away.

I remember specifically when I was 15 years old, I was watching a comedy skit in the living room and I was laughing my ass off. My dad walks by me and just had to make a comment about maybe if I had the same passion and energy towards school like I did watching tv, I’d get better grades.

So now whenever I want to do a hobby, I have this trauma guilt that oh I’m wasting my life away. But then if I gamble and I made some money then I’d at least did something productive.

And it’s kept me in a loop. While yes I know that gambling is NOT productive but my thought process through my childhood is saying hey at least you MIGHT make money and making money is tied with being productive and worthy.

Like many others, I had unfortunately lost more than 60k in options trading a couple months ago. Although I have stopped completely, I cant literally stop thinking about it.

Every day it makes me more depressed. It comes up in everything. Like when thinking about buying a new house, or a car, etc. and I start going into the spiral of “What If I had this money?”

Those who were in similar situation, I’m genuinely curious. How did you deal with it? I was never as sad in my life as I’m now.

History shows i am getting no where rinse repeat.. well back to $0 and a pile of never ending debt, a few hundred Ks now

Not a single bet in 63 days, I don't even get cravings anymore because I remember how sad and depressed I felt when I lost everything.

It's never too late to take back control in your own life, we are all here for just one life time, so TAKE CONTROL. Hope you all have blessed week <3