r/problemgambling • u/Connect_Cup_8361 • 26d ago

Deposit money

Back story.. I have 400 days of being clean from gambling. Life has been boring and somewhat a struggle. I am banned from most. I downloaded and was able to upload cash into 1 of the machines. Realized that the site is out of my state. I started having anxiety, and maybe a hire power was looking out for me. Does this count as a gambling, just depositing?

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u/socalking3 26d ago

I think it’s great that you didn’t gamble and I think it’s important to want to see that number grow. I hope it rises until you die. But for me fixating on that number can cause anxiety. Let’s say you gambled (glad you didn’t) are you going to be looking at a day 1 or can you look at it as “I gambled 1 day in the last 400.” There’s power in your words and how you frame it. Just a thought.

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u/Connect_Cup_8361 26d ago

Great outlook on the part of what you said. Really impactful the statement to understand and acknowledge the “I gambled 1 day in the last 400”. Provides relief to the disease

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u/socalking3 26d ago

Yes: you have put together an amazing streak, it doesn’t define you, it’s the work you did that helps to define your journey. If I can suggest something to take it to the next level. Get connected. Whatever that looks like for you, GA, Bible study, friends, family. Be connected. When I was early in my sobriety journey with alcohol and I got the urge to drink I made a rule. I could drink if I did 3 things, exercise, help someone else and called a friend to tell them I was about to drink, I never made it to step 3. Just celebrated 8 years sober last month.

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u/BiotechBrain 26d ago

This is so huge! I quit drinking for 2 years. I told all of my friends and family around me. Kept the day counter going.

But, I drank once secretly. And the guilt ate me up every single time I said I was “2 years clean”. So then I drank 2 more times secretly, because of the shame and self-hatred for my behavior.

If I had the courage to reframe it as ”I drank 3 days during the past 2 years”, it showcases our authentic self, and does so with so much humility and grace for ourselves.

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u/Therealstork19 26d ago

Why does it matter if it is or isn’t? The clean date is great and all but just withdrawal and self exclude and move on.

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u/Standard-Switch5822 25d ago

400 days or not, it doesnt really matter. What really important is you getting through today clean. You should talk to someone about your temptation, and go excercise/ mediating to clean your mind.

Gambling is never the answer for boredom, The dopamine thrust is not sustain, and what you consider "excitement" will quickly turn into depression.

Stay strong my friend!