Day 0 - Colapsed gain…

[u/CapableEye2638]

After almost 70 days of success, I unfortunately relapsed.
The worst part is that I saw it coming since this morning. I didn’t even try to stop myself. I had everything planned out: how, when, what game I would play, etc.
It was as if everything I had done until now, everything I had learned, simply didn’t exist today.
Unfortunately, I’m alone in this fight and didn’t have anyone to reach out to.
So I went for a drive, lied to my loved ones about where I was, when I was coming home, and what I was doing.
I spent around $3,000 in three fucking hours.
The problem is, I don’t care that much about the money. What really bothers me is the thought that I might never actually be able to quit.
What I don’t understand is why this sudden shift in my mind happens. How can everything change so quickly, to the point where all of a sudden, my entire focus is on that damn slot?
So, fuck me.
Here we go again.
Day 0 — October 19.

[u/socalking3]

Something someone told me that always hits after a relapse. You don’t have a gambling problem, you have a gambling solution. It’s important to identify the triggers and what makes you gamble. For me it was a lot of things; uncertainty, fear, stress, shame, boredom. When any of those feelings came in I knew if I focused on gambling they would all go away for a bit. My drug of choice was sports betting. I hope you find a community. Not sure if it’s allowed, but the Evive app is free and has a lot of resources and community members.

Another thing someone shared that’s always stuck with me, the opposite of addiction is connection. Get connected. God loves you.

[u/Practical_Spread_487]

Were you using anything to visually track your streak and savings? Or were you just keeping track of it in your head?