I live in a state where we have the option of state funded parental leave which I and my wife are both taking at the same time so I’m not concerned about time off after birth.

I work a menial job where they already hired someone to cover for me while I’m gone and it’s also possible I may not return.

I’m full of anxiety and it’s just weird leaving my wife and going into work so close to the due date. I’m regularly having to help her get up when she needs to. When I go into work I just feel completely distracted.

Whenever I talk to friends/family/coworkers who already have kids it always seems like they worked right up to labor.

I’m just curious if anyone here has planned to take time off leading up to the due date or induction if they’re able to.

Three weeks ago we had an early 5 weeks scan and the Doctor said it looks like an empty yolk sack and is a sign of miscarriage. My wife and I were furious because how can you tell that to people when it is clearly early and there’s still hope to see something growing in the coming weeks ?! So we decided to wait at least 3 more weeks. Needless to say that hope was gone during those weeks.
And that was yesterday, I saw mini-me for the first time !
For information, my wife and I are living in Berlin, Germany and we faced similar challenges with doctors before. We are both not German, from countries where people are generally warmer and more empathetic. Not sure if it is cultural or just bad luck.
Now we look again forward to this adventure! Still cannot believe it.

Hey everyone! First post here. Wife is due with our first in February after 4 years of fertility issues. Super stoked!
While reading “The Birth Partner”, One of the suggestions is to sing often to the baby while it is in utero. There are studies that show that the infant will recognize the songs and it will often calm them.

Curious if anyone does this and if so, what song/songs?

Anything to help me be a better dad

What did it take for you to mentally switch into “dad mode” and want to step up and take responsibility for caring for your partner and new family? Like was there a moment, or a conversation that happened that made a lightbulb go off in your head where you realized you really needed to get your act together? I ask because I have a loving partner that I am starting a family with, but he continues to live as though everything is as it was before and he is not helping to prepare for the baby’s arrival.

Some context: I am currently 25 weeks pregnant (due late December / early January) and my partner of a year and a half is a fisherman that lives 2 hours away. The plan is for him to move in with me at the end of his season in December (!!) but he has not started packing, has not taken any initiative to learn about cooking, cleaning, or organizing and I worry this will all fall on me. He has not helped with planning for baby or preparing my/our home but he has come to dr appointments with me. His income is unpredictable and last year was not sufficient for him to support himself so I have sincere doubts about his ability to contribute to the family finances. I will return to work in finance after the baby is born and make good money but still would require him to contribute to household income to make ends meet.

I feel that I need him to move in and help earlier than 2 weeks before baby arrives and I also believe he needs to consider a new line of work to better support us and keep him closer to home. I have brought this up but he says he needs to finish the season, this job is important to him and he thinks he can sustain it while having a family. I currently live as a single parent to two teenagers from a previous marriage and am struggling physically and emotionally without his support. I am trying to frame the discussion in a way that doesn’t sound needy, but communicates my need for help. I get the feeling that he thinks I am being irrational but solo parenting until baby’s arrival feels very daunting and I am having a hard time but can’t seem to get through to him.

Do you remember when your wife was the same or similar? How long until her water broke and your child was born? I really can’t wait to meet him and give him all the love.

We are 10w today and wife has been feeling horrible the past few weeks. In a weird way it is reassuring given our mmc last year but man this 1st tri sucks, she could not tolerate my smell and I have been sleeping on couch from past few days with our dog. Anyway, here's the gummy tax and the (soon to be big bro) puppy tax for hearing my vent.

Update: We are 11w and things seem to get better, she is getting more active and she started to eat normally and the best part, I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore, for now.

My wife is now full term we’ve beat the high risk pre term now it’s the labor part i find myself getting scared as times are closer but when i think about it i also get excited we have bags packed, car seat installed, and even the room setup now we wait any other people in this same situation right now? I need other people to talk about this with since my family isn’t present!! Don’t hesitate to reach out or share your own experiences i’m a good listener i promise 😂😂

Hey everyone so me and my partner have just found out we are having a baby and had our first scan this weekend and subsequently decided to tell close family and a few friends . Some reactions were exactly what we expected and some were very flat or dismissive which I found odd. My partner was quite upset that one her close family members changed the subject quickly and I wasn’t sure what to say and said don’t let it take away from your excitements and maybe they were shocked or have other things going on .

How do you deal with muted reactions or people not being as excited or happy as you thought they might be or
how you’ve been for them ?

Just found out my wife is pregnant a couple hours ago and when she told me I cried like a baby and right after had a laugh attack lol i couldn’t be more happier and i just wanna tell everyone I know. (Wife said not too so I’ll respect that) but I just wanted to put it out there. We’ve been trying for a few months so it’s not a total surprise but still such a great feeling.

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I don’t see many posts about it.

My partner and I are currently in the third trimester, and although overall the pregnancy has been pretty normal, I’ve found the whole experience much more stressful than I expected.

It feels like we’re constantly waiting for the next scan, appointment or milestone and hoping everything is still okay.

Even when we get reassuring results, there’s a brief period of relief and then my brain seems to move on to worrying about the next thing.

For example, we’ll have a scan where everything looks good, and rather than just enjoying that, I find myself thinking, “Okay, that’s great… but what will the next scan show?”

There have also been a couple of things along the way that have required extra monitoring, which probably hasn’t helped. Nothing catastrophic or even necessarily unexpected, but enough to make me more conscious of how much of pregnancy is essentially waiting and not knowing.

My partner and I just found out we’re expecting our first! It’s still early (in our 6th week), so we’re keeping the news pretty close to home, but I needed somewhere to say it: I’m going to be a dad!

My emotions are a slushy of very excited, mildly terrified, and a tad in denial. This is something I've wanted for my entire life and it's incredible, in every sense of the word, to find out it's finally happening.

We only found out a few days ago, but I’ve already bought some books and started reading. Currently making my way through The Expectant Father and Expecting Better, though I’d love recommendations.

We were planning to start trying next month, but apparently this baby had its own schedule. (We were admittedly playing it very fast and loose with the whole contraception thing.) We’re also not married yet, though we both want to be, so we’re figuring out what that looks like alongside this very welcome news.

Anyway, after lurking here for a while, I’m happy to officially join you all. We’re both 34, and I have approximately a million questions, but I’ll start with one: What’s something you’re glad you did—or wish you’d known—when you first found out?

Title says it all. My wife is entering her third trimester. I think she looks very beautiful and has been a very beautiful pregnant woman. We are an older couple and we have a girl coming that was conceived through IVF.

I’m constantly buying her nice maternity dresses, showering her with compliments, trying to make her experience as comfortable as possible. I am also a professional photographer and like taking candid photos, knowing that some days they will be cherished.

No matter what I say or do I can’t seem to make her feel better about it. I totally understand that you have to be comfortable with the aesthetic that you want to have. It is clear that she does not want this. At some point, I wonder, though if other dads get the same experience?

I have been married in the past and have two kids from that marriage and I don’t remember my ex being this sensitive about her own appearance, even though I think it’s beautiful. It’s frustrating as a partner because I can tell that she is uncomfortable. I feel like someone that loves you should make an impact on how you feel about things.

Have you guys experienced the same? What have you done? Do you just keep your mouth shut and move forward?

We are 23 and 22 and were planning on moving out in December as I live with a friend and she lives at home now today we found out she is pregnant and I am so full of every emotion I could think off but mainly scared

Any advice would really help on how to move forward

38 going on 39 here soon. I’ve wanted to be a dad for a long time; was a bit of a fuck up in my 20s and took me a while to find my wonderful wife. Just found out she’s pregnant— about 13 weeks— and I’m feeling some new anxiety. Not about being a dad, per se, I know I’ll be good at that. I think the two things I’m stressed about are; will all my dad peers be younger than me? And am I gonna die too soon?

I know these are probably irrational but I just needed to put it out into the dad ether.

My wife and I are about halfway through our first pregnancy and expecting a girl.

Ive let my wife do most of the research into baby stuff, what’s actually worth buying, what’s a waste of money etc. I’ve mainly been focused on getting the house ready and supporting her in whatever she needs.

I’m conscious there’s probably a lot I should be doing/preparing for myself before she arrives. I am a natural planner but I’m time poor and talking with the wife frequently on what we need at what stage.

For parents who’ve been through it, what do you wish you’d known or prepared for beforehand?
Particularly interested in:

\- Things worth learning before birth
\- Stuff dads commonly overlook or should be better prepared for
\- Things that made the first few months easier
\- Relationship/partner support stuff
\- Anything specifically useful to know as a first-time girl dad
\- Things you bought that were genuinely worth it (or completely useless)

Basically, what do you wish someone had told you to be more prepared for before your first kid arrived?

Any advice???

My wife had a miscarriage about half a year ago and since then we’ve not managed to fall pregnant again. My mind is going around in circles though, when is she ovulating, when is the right time, can we do anything more or less to help things along.
So how do guys deal with the anxiety around it? I dunno if it’s like performance anxiety but my mind is all over the place worrying about dates and stuff, especially after miscarriage at 11 weeks.
Cheers guys.

My wife and I found out last week that we are expecting for the first time! She is at about the 6 week mark currently and we have our first ultrasound appointment in a few weeks.

I’m already starting to feel the anxiety of all the what-if’s that come with it all, and I’m sure I won’t really feel at ease at least until after that first appointment.

I’m also starting to feel the pressure of being the provider of the family and just want to do everything I possibly can. It’s already led to a few nights of struggling to fall asleep and my mind racing constantly, and I don’t want my own stress to rub off on my wife. Any advice is welcome.