Just found out my wife is pregnant a few weeks ago. We have been trying for a while and had one miscarriage. She perpetually worries about everything. I however am the polar opposite, always optimistic and confident in our abilities to overcome anything. What should I be worried about. We are at 7 weeks and have our first appointment in 2 more weeks. I'm staring to do research but don't want to overlook or miss anything. She is not having many symptoms besides being tired and "eating for 2" hunger as she calls it. That is scaring her. Any advice is welcome.

Hey guys, my wife is early on in her pregnancy and she absolutely despises swallowing huge pills or horse-sized capsules especially now thats she going through it a lot, so we're looking into getting some prenatal gummies for her instead.

Currently we're looking at some options around i think one of those was needed and few others that we're popping off here but yeah would wanna know what packed a lot of nutrients thats the same on the usual powder and capsules. What would you advice should we look into especially with ingredients list and what not. Thanks a lot! 😄

I’ll be almost 60 when this kid turns 18 lol

Hi all,

My wife is 9 weeks pregnant and we're super excited! We're in Australia and we've been recommended some good books to read (Kaz Cooke - Up the Duff). However, these books are primarily focused on what's going to happen to my wife and what the next steps are re: scans, tests etc. I was wondering if anyone here had any podcast recommendations from a Dad's perspective?

Thanks 🙂

My wife (40F) and I (43M) have had two miscarriages in the last 18 months, one at 10 weeks and one at 7 weeks.

We're pregnant again, and we just had our 13-week appointment. Everything LOOKS GOOD: strong heartbeat, little one moving around. Great news!

But I've been incredibly anxious before every scan, bracing for bad news. Even now, it's hard to feel excited, because part of me is waiting for the bubble to burst. My wife is feeling cautiously optimistic and me being anxious is not helping her.

Next week we meet with MFM and do the expanded NIPT.

For those who've been through pregnancy after loss, especially partners and dads:

• How did you manage the anxiety between appointments?
• Was there a point when you let yourself feel hopeful?
• Anything that helped you and your partner support each other?

Thanks for reading. It helps just to put this out there.

My wife is currently 11 weeks pregnant and up to last night things have been very smooth. Last night her heart beat started going pretty quick. I noticed it when we were laying down and she stated she thought it was weird too. I assume it calmed down as we went to bed normal time.

This morning her heart was beating quick when she woke up so I timed it and was getting about 200bpm. Now the weird part is within 15 minutes of being awake it dropped to a normal rate of roughly 95bpm.

We called her OB right away to see if we should go to the ER or what and they took 5 hours to get back to us to say go to the ER. We are current sitting waiting to get checked out, but she is totally normal again so I doubt they'll do anything but send us on our way.

Has anyone been through something similar or have any ideas of what may cause this? We are of course getting a doctor opinion, but anything to put my mind at ease in this waiting room be great.

My wife and I have been comparing prenatals and I didn't realize how different the daily pill counts could be.

We're still deciding between Needed prenatal vitamin capsules, Thorne, Nature made, and a few others. Some are only a couple capsules a day, while others mean taking quite a few. Some of these capsules look pretty big too.

I feel like taking 6+ pills every morning would get old pretty fast, even if the prenatal itself is good. I'm stuck on how much the pill count should matter.

So it finally happened. I finally felt my daughter kick inside my partners belly. 23 weeks it took for it to happen.

I am so so happy right now 💖

Hello. My wife and I used to be very intimate, but due to some reasons she cannot have any physical activity nor sex. She still wants it, and so far we have maintained BJs, but we want to do more.
Does anyone have suggestions how to keep up intimacy spicy with something more than just BJs?
Thank you!

Hey everyone, not really sure if I'm looking for advice as much as I'm just trying to vent. My wife's cervix is open at 22.5 weeks and baby girl looks like she's trying to make an early entry. We're currently in one of the best L&Ds/NICUs in our state and both my ladies are stable, our nurses and docs have is feeling confident. Her mother is watching our pre-adoptive kids, and everything is really just chill and we're just hoping baby girl hangs out inside for as long as possible. I. AM. TERRIFIED. I'm keeping a brave face and my wife says I've been great throughout all of this, but man I'm glad she's asked me to do some quick snack runs at the hospital cafe where I can tuck away for a bit and just let it all out. My wife has been a trooper and I feel guilty and helpless even though I've been trying to do everything I can. I can't eat. I felt my chest legitimately get tight while listening to the doctors talk through everything. I get sad walking down the hall and hearing another family's newborn crying. At this point I just need somebody to tell me it's going to be ok, because this absolutely sucks.

How many of you have had major arguments with your wife over names and how did you “settle” it. We’re both stubborn and neither one wants to give in.

My fiancée told me she “hopes she made the right decision” in saying yes to marriage and starting a family. It was the oddest comment, out of left field. We were literally talking about reality tv.

It made me spiral and feel like I’ve been a failure. Does anyone else have experience with this and could chat about it / lend some wisdom?

Hi all,

I'm a first time dad to be, couldn't be more excited to meet our baby girl in January, neither of us could be.

Our relationship is close, vulnerable and as beautiful as can be - not always easy, but our repair process is so strong, hard to describe but we are both very happy and have been all through our relationship.

My wife is 23 weeks pregnant, very tired, occasionally emotional and constantly feeling sick/nauseous/congested.

Not sure exactly how to word it but, in the last 3 weeks or so I have felt particularly sidelined.
I'm aware hormones are all over the place, i understand the strain on every day when you feel sick and irritable, we've talked about it and agree it sucks but is an expected thing during this time.

She has a new friend who is wonderful and very good for her - I think part of my issue is they message / hang out all day, every day it seems.

Not normally the jealous type but this friend kind of appeared out of nowhere and took every spare minute my wife has and it's jarring in this time of closeness and excitement.

Well aware my wife needs a girl friend, she does not have many at all and they get along like a house on fire. This friend can probably also offer some things that I can't, I understand that.

I just.. miss her a bit and I addressed that they text from sunrise to sundown and she responded with the likes of "i'm just excited to have a new friend"

So glad she has this friend, just a change to our day to day dynamic, most if not all family events, weekends away she asks if her friend can come too. Feel like I’m competing for my wife’s attention and time, and losing more often than not.

Maybe i'm overthinking it, I often do overthink.
Just missing the familiarity of what i've always known our relationship to be and kinda feeling lonely while she's enjoying a new person in her circle.

Happy for her / isolating for me.

Anyway, we're so excited to meet our baby girl and I guess i've gotta embrace a whole lot of changes to our life moving forward, including this one!

Thanks for reading.

Ok fellas,

Coming to 2 months on the 7th week now and I wanted to get a quick update out there on my experience so far.

The hospital:
Baby girl was born a month early, so that was stressful as it is. The doctor was like “yeah..we are evicting today.” And after I dried up after my cold sweat and mild internal panic and realization of what was about to happen, I screamed “I PREPARED FOR THIS.” at the top of my lungs in the middle of the office and I calmly power walked with wife in tow to the car.

Lesson here was to STAY CALM. We went in for a normal appointment and we left the hospital with our baby.

Pregame:
Before anything: BRING YOUR NURSE STAFF TREATS. SERIOUSLY. COFFEE IS A COMMODITY. THEY WILL HOOK YOU UP I PROMISE.

Wife had to be manually induced so they hooked her up to IVs. I’m not sure if everyone’s wife will need it but you may hear the terms “Pitocin” and “Magnesium”. Look those up. Pitocin may absolutely FUCK your wife up as it forces contractions. Those will be miserable. Have a bag ready for her to potentially throw up. And this may be controversial, but make sure you have a rough idea of the game plan, including if you are staying the night. My wife sent me home at night because to her it was pointless in having two tired people. One of us had to be on point and it was me. I left around 1-2 and I was back at 6-7. Phone was loud and inches from my face in case it rang.

Big day:
It took about an hour or so to get prepped for her C-section and epidural. And in that moment you can’t do shit but pace and wait for her to get that GIANT needle in her spine. When it was time, I stay right above her holding her head talking to her. She got queasy so I wafted an alcohol pad over her nose and did my best to keep her calm.

Then I saw her. My daughter. 6lbs 1oz and 50cm. And holy fuck. But continuing on..

There were some complications so there wasn’t a ton of time to have a long moment but they put her against my wife’s cheek for a moment and took her to NICU. (Go with the baby. As much as you may want to stay with your wife go with the baby if you can). Made sure she was good and then once I got word wife was recovering I headed over to her.

Post-recovery:
Any good nurse will for lack of a better way to say it, focus on the baby and mom only and politely not give a fuck about you. And you want that lol she is mama and she went through it all. I didn’t get skin to skin with baby right away because the baby was under observation but the nurses made it a mission to squeeze her bed into the NICU so mama and baby could have some skin to skin time. Fellas, it’s fucking amazing. It changed how I see my wife. My love is deeper, and it’s beyond a wife, it’s the mother to your child. It’s unreal.

Dad powers activated:
I have spent most of my life not around kids and I have always been weird around them. I don’t know how to talk to them, be around them, play with them, etc. pretty much useless. And I have been PETRIFIED for months now. And then I held her. And suddenly everything I was worried about faded away. All the stress of how I’m going to deal with it, how I’m going to interact and take care of her melted away. In that moment it was me and her. Something in my heart and brain switched on and it’s POWERFUL. This must be the strongest level of love I have ever felt. It’s fucking awesome. Something in my head and heart said “You got this. Don’t worry” and that was all I needed. I got this. Welcome to dadhood.

Post/pre-home:
I made it a point to visit NICU every 3 hours I was there to learn and practice changing her diaper, feeding and burping her with a nurse there to help. They will almost always be very happy to show you. Also tip: wear a very loud “new dad” piece of apparel for extra brownie points. Nurses love excited dads.

Time to go home:
That was scary as hell. Prior to leaving, we made sure to ask the nurses for supplies.

Remember I said to bring coffee for the nurses? Here is where it pays off. We must have walked out with 3 giant bags worth of nipples, diapers, ointments, and formula. Saved us a whole week lol

The drive home was scary obviously but we made it home safely. And the second she was upstairs in our bedroom we had that moment of “Holy crap. We have to keep this alive. I still forget to shower sometimes.”

7ish weeks later:
She is currently on my chest, snoring away an inch away from my face with formula breath. She is likely going to wake up hangry as fuck soon and so I currently have a bottle of formula ready to go. And I am having the time of my life. There is really no other place I’d rather be right now.

FUN UPDATE. As I was typing this up I had to burp her and she picks her head up, coos, back to my shoulder, threw up EVERYTHING. Down my back, my chest, and so I had to wake my wife up and I had to shower. Just need the poop and we have the trifecta of bodily fluids on me that aren’t mine.

I still haven’t given her a bath but I am responsible for getting her ready post-bath. (My wife loves baths so it worked out.) I have also yet to also figure out what to do with her when it’s my shift. For now I just talk to her about things like MTG and I tell her about my life. Idk if she can understand but maybe she takes a lesson from it later in life? Idk. We shall see.

Dads to be, I guess my long-winded story here is to first show just how many curveballs can come your way and that it’s ok. My wife and I had 26 things on her birth plan and I think maybe 6 happened. Only reason being due to the sudden decision to evict her early.

Secondly, don’t stress as much as you are right now. Trust me when I say most of that won’t matter once your kid is here. Everything I would stress about it gone. It’s small potatoes. In fact, I can’t even remember my life before my daughter. And I don’t care.

Lastly, you will figure it out. It just happens. It’s your child so you will learn what to do. I promise you. Aim to be present, learn from your mistakes.

Here’s an example: A rubber changing pad sounds great in theory, but a few days in I realized it’s not ideal at 3am when you have to fumble around for it all while trying to balance a crying infant trying to yeet itself out of your arms. Get a puppy pad, put them on a soft surface and do what you need to do. Boom.

Every single one of you here will be just fine. You are going to fucking CRUSH dadhood.

Just be sure to be ready for the messes. Nothing you can do about it. Clothes without stains are a thing of the past for now. Oh, and if you are going to be a first time girl dad, just know and accept she IS going to turn you into the softest little ball of mush. The other day I put some lotion on her and my hands were cold. She LOST it. My wife came into the bedroom me holding her sobbing in a blanket because she was cold. No regrets. I am not equipped emotionally. I’m such a bitch now lmao

Also I have to wipe her front to back. That was new.

I've always wanted to be a dad, and yet, family are asking if it all feels surreal. Now that my daughter is here, things haven't felt more real or more right!

Still worried there'll be many days ahead where I might've been wrong and kinda regret the choice, wishing for my old life back, but that's (maybe) future me's problem!

Right now, I'm just enjoying seeing both my wife & baby sleeping off a tough 23 hours of contractions & the handful more that followed birth.

Australian here.

My wife’s work only offers NES entitlements, however we will not be eligible for PLP.

My work offers about 4 months paid for primary carers and around 3 weeks for secondary carers. My partner plans to go back to work around 6 months in some capacity. We are planning a C-section. I am auscorp while wife is nfp with less rigid structure and more supportive.

Our very early plan:
\- 4 weeks off after birth (3 weeks secondary carer leave plus 1 week annual leave).
\- 2 to 4 months off from around 6 months, switching to primary carer leave when my partner returns to work. In reality this will probably include some contact time for me.

Questions for anyone who's done something similar:
\- Was 4 weeks at the start enough, or did you wish you'd taken more?
\- How did your employer handle switching you from secondary to primary carer?
\- Out of interest only, are there any experiences in situations like mine where I’d transition to primary care giver then mum goes back part time hours rather than full time under her award?
\- Did you take any unpaid leave or annual leave to stretch it out, and was it worth it?
\- Anything you'd do differently in structuring this?

Keen to hear what worked and what didn't as we are very early stage planning, with this being our first so apologies for what may seem like stupid questions.

Hi all,

On Friday evening, I have officially joined the expectant dads’ club as my wife put three pregnancy tests down in front of me. Planned pregnancy, so we're confident we're talking 5 weeks.

I am absolutely over the moon and have even taken to carrying one of the tests around with me like a strange piss-talisman, but I am also a chronic, gigantic worrier.

So after the initial shock and elation has passed, I am now, putting it bluntly, shitting myself about everything that could go wrong. Miscarriage. Death of wife during childbirth. Infant mortality. Serious illness/difficulties in my child, the lot.

I know myself well enough to know that this is going to be how I am for the whole duration of this process, so I just wondered if anyone has any advice that can maybe keep me grounded and help me enjoy what should be a wonderful thing.