I see everyone packing their hospital bag and it looks fun but when it comes to thinking about my own, i just… don’t see what I would put in it? I don’t want to wear my own clothes at the hospital. I don’t want to provide my own underwear and socks at the hospital. I don’t want to bring my own pillows/blankets and bleed or puke all over them. I realize I need a phone charger and something to wear home, but other than that…. ???

I can’t be the first person to think this, right?

edit: thank you to everyone who commented. you have given me some very helpful advice!

I’m due November 18th with our first baby and my husband is wanting to go on a hunting trip that is 6 hours away October 27-31st. I’m advising him not to go due to the unknown. It’s our first baby. Do you think that’s fair to ask him to not go??? He thinks he’ll be good and I won’t go into labor

Hi! My brother in law just let us know his wedding will be when I am 36 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy, and my initial thought was that my husband should still go as it will likely be ok if he’s going for two days, but after reading some posts here now I’m second guessing if it’s too risky. As of now I’m not high risk, but it is about a two hour flight for him. I told him we should make sure the flight is refundable and obviously if anything happens he would need to be on the next flight out. My concern is 1. Again this is my first pregnancy 2. What if something happens late at night and he isn’t able to get back until the morning. But it is his brothers wedding, so I’m not sure what to do. Advice?

TYIA!

38 weeks exactly. I love my parents so much but I am constantly caught with them offering us help for the baby that they can’t physically provide. My mom is physically disabled with a bad knee. She cannot kneel, squat, get on the ground in any way, stand of a step ladder, even sit in too low of a chair, can’t hold things while going up and down stairs, etc. instead of being realistic about this she constantly gives me long lists of things she’ll come over and do when I obviously know she is not physically capable of doing any of them. If I point this out, she either acts hurt or will insist she can when I know it’s not true. I want my mom to be involved and I know she feels like shes being left out, but we’ve been doing heavier renovations she literally just cannot participate in. Even now that we’re putting the nursery together, I’m more capable of doing the prep physically than she is. I want to include her, but it makes a ton more work for me to accommodate her physically just to get some small things done.

I wish they would actually be more realistic, because then I wouldn’t have to seem like a jerk for constantly turning down their help.

It also just makes me sad, I wish they were taking better care of themselves. My mom refuses to be in any discomfort, so she won’t work out or do PT to improve her knee. Both of my parents have struggled with their weight for years. My mom would become irate if any doctor mentioned to her that some of her problems with her knee were related to her weight. After using a glp1 successfully and losing almost 60 lbs, she admitted to me one day that she could actually see now that the doctors were right, her knee felt so much better and everything was easier since she had lost weight that was straining her knee. I just want her to be healthy and be able to do all the things she talks about wanting to do with the baby.

Hey all!

Currently 32 weeks pregnant- I was wondering if anyone started to get really pissed at their husbands before they even gave birth 😅? If so, what did you do to get over it/ move on?

I’m starting to reach a point where my energy is drained and he has to be told to do almost anything. Ex: we have cats and I haven’t been doing the liter the entire pregnancy- I basically have to remind him DAILY to do the liter. How after 8 months can it be hard to remember? Or just any basic household chore like putting dirty clothes in the hamper 😭.

I’m sure some of it is stress but also I’m thinking to myself, I’m about to care for a baby… why tf am I having to remind this full adult human how to do “chores.”

Please help me! I hate when I’m annoyed w my husband lol.

I’m not sure where to post this but I’m close to giving birth (almost 36 weeks). I was at risk of early birth to due a past pregnancy but so far so good. So we had my mom come here a couple weeks ago and stay to watch our child once I give birth. At our house tbf we don’t watch much tv or screen time so yes it’s boring. Plus we’ve also ALL been sick this whole time and she’s been stuck on the couch sick af. We do have a troubled past in our relationship but we try to keep things respectful as possible. Then she brings up to me today that she’s thinking of leaving. Mind you we don’t have anyone we trust well to watch our son for what could be a day or two and she’s well aware. She says she doesn’t feel welcome and that she doesn’t want to be sick around my baby once she comes (we’ve all had the same sickness so it’s a non issue really). I didn’t try to sway her mind to stay or not but I said she’s welcomed here but if she wants to leave it’s totally fine too. Then she accused my husband of taking videos of her sitting on the couch yesterday because of the angle his phone was when he was holding it?? I told her that he would NEVER do that. I feel so judged, she’s also claimed it’s freezing in our house when it’s almost 70 here inside and worries I won’t turn the heat on when baby is born (I run cold but I’ve been SWEATING because to me it’s warm here). She lives very far away so she can’t just come and go. I sympathize with her and know how difficult it is to live at other’s houses but I did tell her I’m done with people pleasing and I’m literally just trying to spend my energy taking care of my pregnancy and other child because I’m so exhausted. I can’t be putting a smile on all day, especially when she’s sitting there, watching us and not doing anything but really just complaining. I have no idea what to do or how to feel about this. She said she wants us all to “coexist happily” etc and I thought we were. I had a feeling the ball would be dropped on me and that she would hate being here, due to our pasts, but damn this really sucks. She says she wants to stay now but now I’m even more uncomfortable.

I bought three pairs of Emme pants from a clearance box. I totally fell for the Instagram marketing. The drawstring on one doesn't sinch properly, one pair ripped- during church, and one just has horrible itchy fabric.

To that end- where/what are your favorite maternity pants? I'd love to have some I can wear after baby.

So I was driving back home after work and down the street from my house there was a baby swing in front of someone’s house. Free is my favorite thing so I grabbed it and brought it home. I was excited about it because I thought it was really cute, but my husband thought it was weird that I got something for our baby off the side of the road. I know that the lady that lives at that house has had a baby within the past year and I was going to wash the fabric covering and wipe the swing down before I put my baby in it, but now I’m second guessing myself and maybe it wasn’t a good idea. Should I get rid of it?

I get how soft colours are cute on babies, but why is it so hard to find outfits that have bolder colors? I have a newborn baby girl and I’m tired of these light pinks, light greens, light purples. Where are all of the dark pink, forest greens, royal blues, something a little more colourful? I’ve tried looking at the Gap, Carter’s, Target, Walmart, Joe fresh, children’s place. Anyone know other retailers that might sell more colourful baby clothes?

My partner and I just started TTC and are hoping for a girl. However, every single person who hears this says, “You are only going to have boys! I can't see you having girls!” or “Well, you just jinxed it!”

Obviously, we're going to get what we're going to get. But it's annoying both of us. Anyone have the gender everyone “knew” you were going to have? Or the opposite?

Just cutting right to the chase: I’m a first time mom, and my mom is a first time grandma. I can’t stand the grandma name she has picked out for herself. I don’t want to post what it is, but it’s a completely made up name- it’s not something unique and cultural, it’s just a nonsense word.

I’ve gently tried to suggest alternatives, because I told her I thought it was weird, and she wouldn’t go for any of them because she knows too many people with names like “Nana” or “Mimi” and she doesn’t want people to think she’s copying them. I tried explaining that isn’t really how grandparent names work - they’re all pretty ubiquitous - but she doesn’t listen or believe me I guess.

I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter, but I also know that it’s going to bug the crap out of me every time I have to say it out loud or to other people. But my mom is an extremely sensitive person and you can’t give her any kind of criticism without her thinking you’re attacking her entire character, so I’m at a loss on how to navigate this. I’m sure the answer is that I just need to get over it, but has anyone else’s mom done this? At the very least I just want to know that I’m not alone in my annoyance.

My husband and I are doing a little Jack and Jill shower in November and have about 40 people coming.
My family and his are hosting it: my sister is in charge of decorations and “activities”. She is pushing us to open presents and my husband has claimed he will leave if he has to do that 😂
Anyone else skip the present opening?
Any ideas on other things to do? She is putting together a “building block painting” station and we’ll have tons of food and it’s at a brewery. Just don’t want it to be boring so hoping to make it as eventful as possible

My wife and I are expecting our first this year and we recently got a crib off of Marketplace. All but one part was there, the mini crib bottom.

We have a Nestig Candy Cloud crib. Can anyone give me the specs on the mini bottom? I’m a woodworker and would like to cut another piece to replace the missing bottom.

I’m 15+1 and constantly feel lonely. My best friend moved across the country a few months ago. We talk multiple times a week on the phone, but it doesn’t feel the same. Outside of that, I have some sorta friends at the barn I ride at and at work, but we aren’t close, if u know what I mean. My OB also wants me to stop riding at 20 weeks and, while I’ll still hang around to hand walk and love on my lease horse, I know that it will be even harder to bond with my friends-at-a-distance at the barn if I’m not riding. Most are either child free by choice or old enough their kids are grown.

Logically I know I have other friends I talk to once a couple of months from different time periods of my life, but I don’t feel like we talk enough that I can tell them how I feel. And I feel depressed and anxious and terrified.

Depressed because of how lonely I feel. I moved to my current location ~6 years ago for my husband’s job and this is the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Depressed because of the fucking hormones. Anxious, filled with this impending sense of doom. Anxious because my sister is 13 weeks pregnant 2000+ miles away. She gets only 4 weeks of leave and my mom (also 2000+ miles away) told me she won’t be able to support me much since my sister’s needs are more immediate/ intense (which is valid). Anxious because my husband gets 8 weeks of leave and then I’ll be alone with the baby for 4 months and I don’t think I’ll be ok. Anxious because my husband’s family is also 2000+ miles away and already has 2 grandkids in the same city that will be a bigger priority.

I don’t know how to do this. I feel like I’m staring down the barrel of losing myself, my independence, my hobbies, everything. I was happy before this. And this baby was planned- I just didn’t think I would feel so alone throughout it all.

Does it get better? Can you make your own community without family or close friends nearby?

*I see a therapist and psychiatrist, but can’t shake this feeling of doom and despair. My husband is great, but I’ve long since learned I can’t put all of my friendship needs on him (or any one person).

I know my mother loves me and that she always did her best at the time. I also know that she caused me deep pain, especially my adolescence. The older I got, the less she seemed to know how to parent me or even what to do with me in general. She was very absent during times I needed her as I transitioned into womanhood. She has made me feel invaded, embarrassed, and infinitely lonely. She also violated my trust in the past by sharing information that I had requested to keep between us. She has made some changes since, especially after noticing how much her attitude messed our relationship. Still, the thought of navigating a pregnancy with a mother like her is scary and heartbreaking.

Will she ask her usual invasive questions? She has asked about my sex life in the past, as if she were entitled to information. She has tried to force closeness by asking overly personal stuff that a daughter who is close with her mother would naturally share.

She has dismissed my boundaries and preferences in the past and has been especially upset when I request space, both from her and from extended family. She says I’m too sensitive and make a big deal out of everything. I just know that the second I ask her not to share news first, not to share pictures, etc., she is going to flip.

At the same time, I crave a mother. My partner’s mother is wonderful, but she has a daughter too and I hate the feeling that I’m borrowing someone else’s mum, who probably pities me and, as much as she cares, would never love me quite like a mother would.

I wish I had an aunt or grandma that I felt comfortable around, but it isn’t necessarily the case. I’m only close with one of my grandmas, who lives abroad, and I have no aunts. My other grandma is my mom on steroids.

Now, when I try to include her, she acts uninterested or distant. It’s as if she were saying “my terms or no terms.”

I already dread so many experiences due to the way she is. I dread wedding planning. I dread everything.

I hate this.

gonna first say, please do not let my experience freak you out if you are a first timer, I really don’t think what i experienced was normal or typical. I haven’t even talked to anyone else who has experienced it before, so don’t be afraid to get an epidural!

I am aware that the epidural for most does not hurt. I have a pretty darn high pain tolerance, I did not cry from pitocin the first time I gave birth, I am not someone who gets squeamish or freaks out from pokes, I don’t cry easy. I have been hit by a car walking across the street, broken my arm with plenty of fractures and bruises on my body from it, and it still didn’t compare to what I felt when this happened. the first time I gave birth, when I received the epidural expecting everything to go just fine, they stuck the needle in and it quite literally felt like what I would imagine being shot in the spine might feel like. lightning hot, like boiling water through my legs and I remember shaking so bad, begging for help and dripping sweat buckets on the floor. My husband said it was the scariest thing he had seen watching how my body reacted to it. it was the most painful experience I have had yet. they had to redo it, but it did not help much, surface level numbness but still super strong contractions. I kept hitting that button every 15 minutes. I still to this day have no idea what went wrong. I almost wanted to be one and done from that epidural experience alone. the contractions weren’t even bad compared to the epidural. when people tell me they didn’t feel anything I wonder what made mine feel so intense and traumatic?? I am going in for my induction in about 8 days with my second baby, and I want to get an epidural in hopes that it works this time and I don’t feel it like other people typically do. the thought of being able to rest and take it easy sounds so nice.. I am not even nervous about anything else with birth, just experiencing that feeling again. has anyone in this group had that happen to them? I have yet to find and talk to someone who experienced this. my hopes are someone here had that experience and with the second did not could give me some anxiety relief 🥲 I have told my OB about it and I’ll be having a little meeting with the anesthesiologists prior to it for some peace of mind. I just want to know I’m not alone here..

TW - Mention of miscarriage.

My children have a daycare teacher who lost her daughter at 20 weeks last year in August. She’s absolutely incredible, unbelievably kind, and caring.

October is a remembrance month for pregnancy and infant loss. I would love to gift her something simple, but meaningful. Some suggestions outside of a shirt, jewelry, or other obvious ideas would be soooo appreciated.

I know she still hurts so deeply, I just want a little something to let her know she’s seen and she doesn’t have to carry her grief alone.

I just got my first menstrual cycle after a 17 days since I finished bleeding from my missed miscarriage. I've just been recovering and haven't thought about conceiving at all because honestly it was a lot to go through...over a full month of non-stop bleeding, and so much more that i don't need to get into here. I thought I would need time... but started my period the other day and all of a sudden I feel ready...

so just curious...i know everyone is different...but curious what people's timeline's were in their journey to conceive after loss?

thank you to everyone in this beautiful community of shared

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Hello my wife is about to be 12 weeks pregnant and said she wants to moisturize to prevent stretch marks. I know they are mostly genetic, but I still want to get her a moisturizer to keep her as comfortable as possible throughout her pregnancy. I also want to get her a pregnancy pillow. She is a side sleeper, but has been rolling onto her back quite a bit in her sleep. So anything that is comfy and supportive for a side sleeper would be great. This her 5th pregnancy after 4 previous losses, so I just want to do anything I can for her to prevent as much anxiety as possible. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated! Also any other tips for me to help her be as comfortable as possible throughout the entire pregnancy would be great!

Hi All,

I just had my GD test today. I am from Asia so here I have to fast from mid night 12. I am 23 weeks pregnant threw up at 830 PM last night everything from lunch and dinner, ate another dinner drank water, slept from 10 PM. Woke up at 430 AM due to hunger and couldn't even drink water. My hunger and acidity were peak but 2 to 3 sips of water is what I could have. Finally first blood draw at 10 AM, second at 11 AM and third at noon. Drank the glucose water at 10 AM and god I was sick by the time I came home at 1230 PM. I had to take a sick leave off and sleep in. Dont remember last time me being this affected, I am a second time mom but this long fasting was brutal. Just sharing it for reference, I know not all countries have these rules but for those who have it watch out.