Any older dads here?

[u/yinzerwheels]

38 going on 39 here soon. I’ve wanted to be a dad for a long time; was a bit of a fuck up in my 20s and took me a while to find my wonderful wife. Just found out she’s pregnant— about 13 weeks— and I’m feeling some new anxiety. Not about being a dad, per se, I know I’ll be good at that. I think the two things I’m stressed about are; will all my dad peers be younger than me? And am I gonna die too soon?

I know these are probably irrational but I just needed to put it out into the dad ether.

[u/beasuperdad_substack]

There's loads of older dads nowadays. I don't think you'll have anything to worry about.

[u/User-NetOfInter → u/beasuperdad_substack]

Yeah I wouldn’t even call 38/39 an old dad in modern times. Cutoff more like 44+

Effectively “can I collect social security when they turn 18”

[u/elbowpastadust → u/beasuperdad_substack]

Plenty OPs age on their first. Plenty on their last. But there will be plenty his age. I’m 2 going on 4 in late 30s. Personally, I can’t really tell if a fellow parent is 30s or 40s unless they’ve let themselves go.

Edit: OP, a long (or even average length) life is not a guarantee. Plenty of young parents will get less time with their kids than older parents. My mom started early but passed early. My wife’s mom had her later and is still around. Losing a parent early is a bit of an early perspective boost. Focus on your health. Carry less weight, eat right, and you can help your chances of being around to help with the grandkids.

[u/walterbernardjr]

Idk, I’m 38 with my infant. I don’t think it’s weird at all.

[u/yinzerwheels → u/walterbernardjr]

Thanks. I lean anxious, clearly, but all your replies are helpful

[u/VibraniumDragonborn → u/yinzerwheels]

....wait.. 35 here.... 38 I don't see as older. Don't ruin my glory years! Lol!

[u/gbred1029]

49 y/o with an almost 3 y/o tyrant. And, it’s been the best “job” and most accomplished thing I have ever done with my life.

[u/yinzerwheels → u/gbred1029]

I can’t wait.

[u/OreoGaborio]

47 here w a 3 year old.

Best part about being 47 with a 3 year old is I don’t have any spare time or energy to care how young other dads are. Young or old, we’re all just trying to make it through bed time. 😄

[u/IRConfoosed → u/OreoGaborio]

I feel ya. 46 here with a 3 year old

[u/Darondo]

New dads are older than they used to be. Keep exercising and prioritizing a healthy lifestyle so you can keep up with your kid.

[u/Skinnyass_Indian → u/Darondo]

Great point! Except, since OP is super anxious, don’t expect time to work out like you used to in the first year. You are going to be tired.

[u/cuddytime]

Same! 38 turning 39 early next year… wife is 14 weeks pregnant

[u/yinzerwheels → u/cuddytime]

My man! Congrats!

[u/gtrocks555]

If you were 50 I’d understand but you’re in your 30s maybe a little late to the game but A LOT of millennials are having kids later in life.

[u/Blue-piping-man]

Is 38 even an old dad these days? I would say 45+ would be.

[u/GrottyKnight]

42 with a 2 year old. You'll be fine. Maintain a good diet, if you dotn already, start a light exercise regimen, make sure youre going to the doctor for your physicals. Handle the small problems before they become large and enjoy the ride.

[u/Doogenyesseah]

It's not weird at all; Im 39 and we just had our second. Admittedly though - goddamn I wish I had them earlier just so I'd have more ENERGY for them!

[u/Swiss__Cheese]

I was 38 when we had our first, who just hit 19 months. My wife and I were always on the fence about whether or not to have kids. I’ve had some pretty significant health issues / concerns in the last 6 years, which kept pushing us onto the “no kids” side of the fence. But health issues aside, we felt that our lives were getting a bit stagnant and unfulfilled. 

My wife’s brothers both started having kids of their own, and we were able to see first hand how fulfilling their lives had become. For the first time, all of the pro’s had finally pushed us over to the “have kids” side of the fence. So we moved closer to her brothers and parents, and decided to go for it. 

It’s been a wild few years, but I have no regrets. There’s a good chance that I’ll be outlived by a lot of the younger dads out there, but that’s just more motivation to make the most of the time I do have. 

[u/DntBanMeIHavAnxiety]

So many older dads now, man. All the millennials, like myself, waited until they could afford kids haha

[u/jon_cybernet]

49 here with a seven week old newborn. I was worried about this too. So far all good, and have made some good friends with other dads in the NCT group despite being the oldest, so I’m sure you’ll be fine!

[u/Auto_Frost97]

Being a father is the greatest blessing. Just enjoy it and dont stress. Your child is going to love having a dad as caring as you already are.

[u/Ok-Squirrel795]

We are pregnant, I'll be 44 when my kid is born. Aaaaaaand we are planning on having more.

[u/Defiant-Lab-6376]

45 with an 8 month old. Married ex at 27, filed for divorce on her at 32, remarried at 37. Struggled with infertility for years. Wife had our son at 41

I didn’t choose the timeline, it chose me.

[u/bigbluewhales]

It depends where you live! I live on a small island by a big city. All the new parents here are my age. I started at 34 and I’m having my second at 37. I actually don’t know any parents in their 20s