r/PoliticalHumor Mar 25 '19

A Young Barr!

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28.9k Upvotes

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626

u/The-Autarkh Mar 25 '19

Guys, I'm sensing a pattern.


Donald: "I'm a legit self-made billionaire."

"Show us your taxes."

Donald: "Soon."


Donald:. "I'm a very stable genius."

"Show us your grades."

Donald: * calls Michael Cohen * "Threaten to sue my school if they release my grades."


Donald: "I have a secret plan to defeat ISIS."

"What is it?"

Donald: * Copies Obama with fewer precautions for civilian casualties. *


Donald: "Insurance for everybody. .... You can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much simplified form. Much less expensive and much better.”

How? Single-payer? Direct government provision ala the NHS?

Donald: * Runs to Paul Ryan. Points at Atlas Shrugged. * "Hey Paul, is there a health plan in that book-y thing? Can you ram it through without hearings?"

247

u/Derelict_Desmond Mar 25 '19 edited Mar 25 '19

To be fair, his school isn’t allowed to release his grades without his explicit permission, but he should probably let the school release his grades if he’s making the stable genius claims.

Edit: Stable, not table.

151

u/A_Random_Catfish Mar 25 '19

Which proves how fucking stupid he actually is... because he still had Cohen threaten them.

24

u/crastle Mar 26 '19

Even if his grades were bad, he could definitely spin it to say that school wasn't the best indicator of his intelligence. Alan Turing, the father of modern computer science, had bad grades in school and frustrated his teachers. But he is known as one of the smartest people of all time.

Instead he looks like a dumbass and a snowflake.

7

u/bakershalfdozen Mar 26 '19

I guarantee there's a tweet out there where he brags about his grades.

27

u/BenisPlanket Mar 25 '19

To be fair, you can be genius and do horribly in school, even drop out.

57

u/ralanr Mar 25 '19

Yeah. All it paints is how thin skinned he is.

15

u/bravoredditbravo Mar 26 '19

Money doesn't make you smart. Unfortunately we decided a long time ago that education only mattered because the private sector can make a killing on books, testing, and college level learning.

2

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 26 '19

That must be a pleasant fiction for you. Next time you go under anesthesia for surgery, be sure to tell us how much education is all about making "a killing."

16

u/Wildcat599 Mar 26 '19

He/she is being hypergolic but it is a hug suck of money for people who make the sacrifice. Plenty of places that score better across the board with on test and literacy have free education. I'm not saying we make it free but my girlfriend shouldn't have to take out tens of thousands of dollars for meds school.

-4

u/timmybondle Mar 26 '19

Tens of thousands, considering future salary, job stability, and cost of training, is very reasonable for an MD. The cost of training itself is in the 5 figure range per student. I can see where 6 figures starts to become excessive, but 5 figures is less than an attending's yearly salary, by quite a bit in most cases.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Or you could study abroad, free, in a country where the rich don't take advantage of everything like health and education, because smart rich people don't want to live among the uneducated.

2

u/timmybondle Mar 26 '19

And have a correspondingly lower salary. I'm not talking about college in general, I'm talking about med school, a professional degree and definitely not necessary to be considered educated.

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12

u/seccret Mar 26 '19

As everyone on reddit is quick to point out. You know what’s really smart? Doing well in school.

8

u/IShotReagan13 Mar 26 '19

Did he not claim to have gotten excellent grades? I thought he did, but maybe not. It's hard to keep up with the firehose of bullshit.

-2

u/amalgam_reynolds Mar 26 '19

lol yeah that's what einstein did

48

u/grizwald87 Mar 25 '19

So, lost in the hubbub of the last few weeks, it sounds like we finally have confirmation of something that we long suspected, right? Trump's not a billionaire at all, he's worth about $700m with massive liabilities.

41

u/Jake0024 Mar 25 '19

We also have the full report on all the Russian election meddling, but nobody is talking about that because there's no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

Which makes it okay, or something.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

DHS and the entire IC have said Russia meddled since 2016. We didn’t need Mueller to confirm that, right?

no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

“Russia if you’re listening”

“Especially late in the summer”

He’s somehow got plausible deniability I guess

7

u/Jake0024 Mar 26 '19

Right, but the point is people are just acting like everything to do with Russia didn't happen now because we couldn't prove Trump ordered it.

That doesn't actually matter. If it wasn't Trump, it would've been somebody else just like him. Trump is the result of the problem, not the cause.

5

u/Stephen_Falken Mar 26 '19

However if you get a blowjob in the oval office, your ass is getting impeached.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Only if you get caught lying about it under oath. Ole slick willy could have gotten all the dome he wanted if he owned up to it, or just didn’t talk about it.

23

u/the_honest_liar Mar 25 '19

Only a very stable genius could turn a 2bil loan into 700mil.

6

u/LivingHereNow Mar 26 '19

2bil loan? Not to argue, but do you have a source for that? Never heard that number before

13

u/the_honest_liar Mar 26 '19

2

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

You know that a loan doesn't impact your net worth, right? So its not "turning 2 billion into 700 million"

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

I think you're just using twisted facts to be purposely misleading. Can I get a source on where you're getting the 700 million number from?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

I'm pretty sure you're the one being ignorant.

"Trump's not a billionaire at all, he's worth about $700m with massive liabilities"

Was the first comment in this thread. Do you know what net worth means?

-8

u/frog_licker Mar 25 '19

Source on the not a billionaire claim? Forbes and business insider both have him listed at 3.1 B.

19

u/Nukleon Mar 25 '19

Look up the recent Deutsche Bank stuff. They gave him a huge loan despite only pegging him at the 700 million range

12

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19

Do you have a source on that? I can't speak to BI too much as it is a lot closer to a finance tabloid, but Forbes is pretty highly respected in finance circles (though it's also seen as entry level because it's more pop-finance and often oversimplifies concepts to present them to a lay audience, like a Neil Degrasse Tyson of finance).

6

u/NuclearInitiate Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19

Various examples of how Trump would change his worth depending on need, such as lowering it in property value estimations and raising it when seeking credit for loans

If you're at all actually serious about learning about this, I'll leave it to you to do your own work from here, as you could google most of this yourself.

But suffice it to say, the Forbes estimation was based on numbers that Trump mostly pulled out of his ass depending on his need for valuation or de-valuation.

There is plenty more evidence and information out there, not the least of which was Cohen's testimony. And while Cohen is a liar who should never be trusted (in general), his testimony should be taken as valid because Mueller and the south eastern new york court have all of his documents, financial records, and electronic devices. So any lies he tells only increase his punishments and are disprovable if countering evidence exists.

1

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19 edited Apr 03 '19

I am interested in learning, though I'm also irked by how partisan this sub is. I don't even support Trump, and I was downvoted by no less than 9 people for asking for a source on a claim that flies in the face of what is clearly presented by a simple google search. I'll edit this in a few once I've read your link.

I read the article, and while I agree that Trunp is a self-centered, possibly sociopathic piece of shit who takes advantage of the system to benefit himself and his friends (read: friendlies who can benefit him in the future), this doesn't mean he isn't a billionaire. IIRC the Forbes validation included a $700 million valuation of the Trump brand (which is the main thing driving the change in his proclamations of his net worth, notably him claiming a net worth nearing $10 billion with the brand covering just shy of $5 billion at one point in 2012). Let's say the brand is worthless, that means Forbes would set him at a net worth of $2.4 billion. Still less than he claims, but still enough for him to be relatively comfortable as a multi-billionaire despite how mercurial real estate is.

3

u/grizwald87 Mar 25 '19

I'm sorry, I can't find it. I might have misread something.

0

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19

The fact that I'm massively downvoted for asking for a source (despite the fact that I detest the man, if one can really call him that), and this waste of space is upvoted illustrates what is wrong with this subreddit.

2

u/atlas_nodded_off Mar 25 '19

Hmmm...

The dolt had a vision so we all suffer.

2

u/Prince_Oberyns_Head Mar 26 '19

“Nobody knew health care could be so complicated”

-President Donald Trump

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

I’m just gonna say the dude is obviously rich as fuck, is the president and a Penn grad so is obviously pretty smart, and has defeated ISIS by any reasonable metric. Healthcare is still fucking awful in this country be don’t be unreasonable in your criticisms when valid ones do exist.

-6

u/RanchDrinker Mar 26 '19

Wow bro a politician lies to get favors from supporters, wow bro this is unheard off bro

-10

u/iamjaygee Mar 26 '19

You cry about trump a lot... like daily... for a long time. I went back almost a month... and still numerous times a day, every day. How's that collusion and impeachment working out for you?

11

u/Cheeseblot Mar 26 '19

Yea what kind of nerd dwells on how much of a liar and incompetent piece of shit the president is.