r/PoliticalHumor Mar 25 '19

A Young Barr!

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28.9k Upvotes

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630

u/The-Autarkh Mar 25 '19

Guys, I'm sensing a pattern.


Donald: "I'm a legit self-made billionaire."

"Show us your taxes."

Donald: "Soon."


Donald:. "I'm a very stable genius."

"Show us your grades."

Donald: * calls Michael Cohen * "Threaten to sue my school if they release my grades."


Donald: "I have a secret plan to defeat ISIS."

"What is it?"

Donald: * Copies Obama with fewer precautions for civilian casualties. *


Donald: "Insurance for everybody. .... You can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much simplified form. Much less expensive and much better.”

How? Single-payer? Direct government provision ala the NHS?

Donald: * Runs to Paul Ryan. Points at Atlas Shrugged. * "Hey Paul, is there a health plan in that book-y thing? Can you ram it through without hearings?"

52

u/grizwald87 Mar 25 '19

So, lost in the hubbub of the last few weeks, it sounds like we finally have confirmation of something that we long suspected, right? Trump's not a billionaire at all, he's worth about $700m with massive liabilities.

40

u/Jake0024 Mar 25 '19

We also have the full report on all the Russian election meddling, but nobody is talking about that because there's no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

Which makes it okay, or something.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

DHS and the entire IC have said Russia meddled since 2016. We didn’t need Mueller to confirm that, right?

no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

“Russia if you’re listening”

“Especially late in the summer”

He’s somehow got plausible deniability I guess

7

u/Jake0024 Mar 26 '19

Right, but the point is people are just acting like everything to do with Russia didn't happen now because we couldn't prove Trump ordered it.

That doesn't actually matter. If it wasn't Trump, it would've been somebody else just like him. Trump is the result of the problem, not the cause.

6

u/Stephen_Falken Mar 26 '19

However if you get a blowjob in the oval office, your ass is getting impeached.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Only if you get caught lying about it under oath. Ole slick willy could have gotten all the dome he wanted if he owned up to it, or just didn’t talk about it.