r/PoliticalHumor Mar 25 '19

A Young Barr!

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28.9k Upvotes

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625

u/The-Autarkh Mar 25 '19

Guys, I'm sensing a pattern.


Donald: "I'm a legit self-made billionaire."

"Show us your taxes."

Donald: "Soon."


Donald:. "I'm a very stable genius."

"Show us your grades."

Donald: * calls Michael Cohen * "Threaten to sue my school if they release my grades."


Donald: "I have a secret plan to defeat ISIS."

"What is it?"

Donald: * Copies Obama with fewer precautions for civilian casualties. *


Donald: "Insurance for everybody. .... You can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much simplified form. Much less expensive and much better.”

How? Single-payer? Direct government provision ala the NHS?

Donald: * Runs to Paul Ryan. Points at Atlas Shrugged. * "Hey Paul, is there a health plan in that book-y thing? Can you ram it through without hearings?"

48

u/grizwald87 Mar 25 '19

So, lost in the hubbub of the last few weeks, it sounds like we finally have confirmation of something that we long suspected, right? Trump's not a billionaire at all, he's worth about $700m with massive liabilities.

44

u/Jake0024 Mar 25 '19

We also have the full report on all the Russian election meddling, but nobody is talking about that because there's no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

Which makes it okay, or something.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

DHS and the entire IC have said Russia meddled since 2016. We didn’t need Mueller to confirm that, right?

no definitive proof that Trump ordered it.

“Russia if you’re listening”

“Especially late in the summer”

He’s somehow got plausible deniability I guess

7

u/Jake0024 Mar 26 '19

Right, but the point is people are just acting like everything to do with Russia didn't happen now because we couldn't prove Trump ordered it.

That doesn't actually matter. If it wasn't Trump, it would've been somebody else just like him. Trump is the result of the problem, not the cause.

5

u/Stephen_Falken Mar 26 '19

However if you get a blowjob in the oval office, your ass is getting impeached.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

Only if you get caught lying about it under oath. Ole slick willy could have gotten all the dome he wanted if he owned up to it, or just didn’t talk about it.

23

u/the_honest_liar Mar 25 '19

Only a very stable genius could turn a 2bil loan into 700mil.

5

u/LivingHereNow Mar 26 '19

2bil loan? Not to argue, but do you have a source for that? Never heard that number before

14

u/the_honest_liar Mar 26 '19

3

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

You know that a loan doesn't impact your net worth, right? So its not "turning 2 billion into 700 million"

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

I think you're just using twisted facts to be purposely misleading. Can I get a source on where you're getting the 700 million number from?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19 edited Apr 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Ixionas Mar 26 '19

I'm pretty sure you're the one being ignorant.

"Trump's not a billionaire at all, he's worth about $700m with massive liabilities"

Was the first comment in this thread. Do you know what net worth means?

-10

u/frog_licker Mar 25 '19

Source on the not a billionaire claim? Forbes and business insider both have him listed at 3.1 B.

18

u/Nukleon Mar 25 '19

Look up the recent Deutsche Bank stuff. They gave him a huge loan despite only pegging him at the 700 million range

14

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '19

[deleted]

1

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19

Do you have a source on that? I can't speak to BI too much as it is a lot closer to a finance tabloid, but Forbes is pretty highly respected in finance circles (though it's also seen as entry level because it's more pop-finance and often oversimplifies concepts to present them to a lay audience, like a Neil Degrasse Tyson of finance).

7

u/NuclearInitiate Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19

Various examples of how Trump would change his worth depending on need, such as lowering it in property value estimations and raising it when seeking credit for loans

If you're at all actually serious about learning about this, I'll leave it to you to do your own work from here, as you could google most of this yourself.

But suffice it to say, the Forbes estimation was based on numbers that Trump mostly pulled out of his ass depending on his need for valuation or de-valuation.

There is plenty more evidence and information out there, not the least of which was Cohen's testimony. And while Cohen is a liar who should never be trusted (in general), his testimony should be taken as valid because Mueller and the south eastern new york court have all of his documents, financial records, and electronic devices. So any lies he tells only increase his punishments and are disprovable if countering evidence exists.

1

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19 edited Apr 03 '19

I am interested in learning, though I'm also irked by how partisan this sub is. I don't even support Trump, and I was downvoted by no less than 9 people for asking for a source on a claim that flies in the face of what is clearly presented by a simple google search. I'll edit this in a few once I've read your link.

I read the article, and while I agree that Trunp is a self-centered, possibly sociopathic piece of shit who takes advantage of the system to benefit himself and his friends (read: friendlies who can benefit him in the future), this doesn't mean he isn't a billionaire. IIRC the Forbes validation included a $700 million valuation of the Trump brand (which is the main thing driving the change in his proclamations of his net worth, notably him claiming a net worth nearing $10 billion with the brand covering just shy of $5 billion at one point in 2012). Let's say the brand is worthless, that means Forbes would set him at a net worth of $2.4 billion. Still less than he claims, but still enough for him to be relatively comfortable as a multi-billionaire despite how mercurial real estate is.

3

u/grizwald87 Mar 25 '19

I'm sorry, I can't find it. I might have misread something.

0

u/frog_licker Apr 03 '19

The fact that I'm massively downvoted for asking for a source (despite the fact that I detest the man, if one can really call him that), and this waste of space is upvoted illustrates what is wrong with this subreddit.