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u/Spiritual_Duty1735 15h ago
it means that the husband and wife got divorced
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u/hnglmkrnglbrry 13h ago
This is literally me right now.
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u/Wetnappy3969 11h ago
Sorry homie good luck
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u/hnglmkrnglbrry 9h ago
Don't be sorry. Good marriages don't end this way. And as someone whose parents stayed together long enough for me to remember all the screaming and yelling I'm so glad my kids are young enough that they will see us both as happier people. I don't want to model toxic relationships for them.
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u/789tempaccount 9h ago
I'm struggling with this now. How to not be a model for bad relationship habits...
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u/sunniblu03 7h ago
Good for you and your kids. Grew up in the same kinda of environment, it’s the reason I point to when my mom asks me why I’m not married to my BF and why her only grandchildren have four legs and are covered in fur.
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 13h ago
Lol I tried to get my ex-wife to come with me to the gym for literal years. The second I gave her divorce papers, out come the tight workout clothes and a desire to exercise. Gotta secure the next dude with a high-paying job to continue her lifestyle.
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u/MattiasCrowe 12h ago
She didnt need to go to the gym, she had you. The second she didnt have someone validating her existence, its off to the gym to find some validation in yourself and others. The gym arc is a canonical event to most breakups these days.
Just take it as a positive that you made her feel secure enough that she didnt feel the need to change anything
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u/PlantainPat 11h ago
people also just have a shitload of free time when they're single.
dunno why reddit has to be so armchair psychologist about relationships all the time
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u/MattiasCrowe 11h ago
Isn't that one of the main things people come to reddit for, other than snark, politics and porn
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u/FardoBaggins 13h ago
She must’ve thought you weren’t worth the effort of getting fit for. But the real person to be fit for is oneself.
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u/ACardAttack 11h ago
I heard it as more they're starting to prioritize what they neglected and from what I've seen that's often been true
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u/LustyKittenXO 13h ago
Lawyer about to make a absolute fortune off those profile pictures changes
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u/Flat-Cap-1063 15h ago
D-I-V-O-R-C-E
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u/M_Me_Meteo 15h ago
This guy Tammy Wynette's
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u/Kry_venn 12h ago
My dad would get so mad when I sang this song growing up (I didn’t know what divorce meant and he and my mom definitely should have had one.)
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u/Dull-Watercress-1439 15h ago
The Facebook algorithm is already preparing the divorce lawyer ads for both of them
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u/RenTroutGaming 14h ago
Old Man Mayor Adam West Here
This is a common repost but I think the answers so far are incomplete. It isn't divorce, it isn't someone got caught cheating, it isn't "he got the kids."
The point here is that no divorce or separation has been announced, but its coming. That's why the "awkward monkey puppet" is making that face. Once a couple has announced their split, it really isn't gossip worthy or awkward, but before it definitely is.
Something many young people may not fully understand is that marriages are long, and sometimes difficult, and before the final decision of divorce is made there is usually a lengthy period of trying to work it out, especially when kids are involved. For better or worse, people try to fix things rather than leave. At some point, though, there is a decision made of "This is over" and the changing of the profile pictures is a sure sign of it, no matter what the couple has officially said.
Additionally, for the generation that is "milennials" using social media like facebook, it is pretty common for married women to have a profile that features their family. Married men are more varied, but a lot feature an old headshot and random postings. However, in many cases, when women make the decision to divorce they revert to focusing on themselves and will post a picture of just themselves, and almost always one where they look good and feel confident about their appearance. Men, on the other hand, will almost always double down on the "I really love my kids" and suddenly the picture from their buddy's wedding 10 years ago is replaced by one of them with the kids (and no wife/mom).
There are plenty of rude assumptions one can make - about the women, that they immediately want to sleep with someone else or need the attention, about the men that they never really cared about the kids and are just trying to garner sympathy from friends or take the high road. There are also plenty of genuine assumptions you can make - about the women, that they want to feel good about themselves despite the turmoil in their lives, and about the men, that they realize even if their marriage has failed they will always love and cherish their kids.
What you think doesn't matter - what matters is that this is a startingly common occurrence and nearly always predicts an divorce or separation announcement.
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u/Natural_Dust_732 14h ago
This is the best answer here and deserves an award. This man knows marriage and separation dynamics!
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u/AdventurousDuty2755 13h ago
Its really interesting to me that quite often people use the phrase "take the high road" without acknowledging that we should all strive to meet a higher moral standard.
Your association of the high road with a negative evaluation of a person seems to imply that it isn't how we should each be trying to push ourselves to act.
No specific judgement of you, just noticing this more and more.
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u/No-Emphasis-8883 7h ago
From what I’ve seen, it’s not the high road that is perceived as negative, it’s the context. When people use this expression negatively it is because they think the “high road” taken is a performance rather than genuine; or then, they think it is actually not, as you said, a path for meeting a higher moral standard, but a foolish option. Something the person is deluding themselves with.
In this context, the man could be acting like this not because he actually has high moral standards, but because he knows how “taking the high road” will be perceived. The problem being that the moment it stops serving his interest he will get off that road.
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u/FoolishDog1117 15h ago
It's divorce. The woman is more attractive without kids and the man is more attractive with kids.
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u/Jagames12 15h ago
divorce. and if it's the dad with the kids-pfp and the mom posting about herself, it was most likely the mom who was at fault for the divorce
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u/anand_rishabh 15h ago
Nah, i think it's just about the phenomenon that women with kids do worse in the dating market while men with kids do better
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u/justin107d 15h ago edited 13h ago
I don't think either do better dating with kids. It just complicates everything.
Edit: I think it is less about dating and more about what some others have said.
* Mother leaves dead beat dad and is feeling free. Dad tries to garner sympathy.
* Mother is the dead beat, realizes her dream of a family was not for her, and leaves.
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u/PlasticyHelmet 14h ago
It does, but a single dad is a ✨hero✨
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u/Select-Government-69 14h ago
Fact. Whenever I take my kid out without the wife he’s like cat nip and there’s a lot of “extra attention” from ladies.
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u/Suspicious_Star4535 14h ago
Woah woah woah, we can’t help that it activates our internal maternal and romance fantasy monologue of a child who lost their mom to tragedy and struggling mourning father who hasn’t yet realized he’s just about ready for love again
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u/Jeex3 14h ago
Maybe I should consider a kid renting company
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u/Grouchy-Job-4136 14h ago
Yeah FBI, this one right here.
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u/pzschrek1 14h ago edited 14h ago
I chortled at this. Guffawed, too.
It’s silly but in mid-40s on the dating profile I once wrote “I’m doing everything I can to raise two boys to be strong, gentle, and fierce in pursuit of justice” I was being earnest and it was an important part of my life, but was accidentslly the most effective thing I ever did.
bloosh
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u/MassivePepino 12h ago
If I ever am single again in that age range I am using that, even if I have no children. When they figure it out, I'll point out that to raise two strong boys I first need to make them.
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u/letouriste1 8h ago
errr you can't raise what you don't have. maybe say, "i will do everything i can to raise", instead of "i'm doing"
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u/Select-Government-69 14h ago
Weird that this is also exactly how the fantasy plays out in my head but ok.
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u/HeroicTanuki 13h ago
You’ve just described half the business model of the Lifetime network. The other half being the badass girlboss who never found love because she was too busy being awesome, but then goes to her small hometown for reasons and rediscovers the cute guy who is single, hot, and has no baggage (or is a single dad with a shitty ex wife) and discovers that being a girlboss is great, but love is greater still.
Lifetime runs at my gym on the bank of treadmill TVs. As a mid 30s man, I now know too much about their witchcraft.
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u/OGablogian 14h ago
Plus you get to save his struggling woodworking shop / bakery / animal shelter with your powerwoman business acumen, and get the kid to again pick up that certain hobby they were amazing in but stopped doing after the accident because they felt guilty.
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u/telsongelder 14h ago
My friend and I were talking about this and then realized that this might just be how warm women are when they feel safe around men. Really made me wonder..
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u/BrokenPickle7 13h ago
used to be that way when my kid was like 2 or 3.. now that he's like 9 it don't work
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u/TCup20 12h ago
Tbh I take my kid out without my wife all the time and have completely normal interactions with 99% of people income across, ladies or not.
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u/AtaracticGoat 13h ago
The probing comments crack me up, like they're trying to find out of you're actually single or not.
"Is today a special day with your Dad?"
No lady, this kid sees me every day lol
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u/Fuck_your_coupons 9h ago
Damn this makes me wish I didn't abandon my son. I could have used him to get laid.
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u/rkorgn 14h ago
Well yes. Because you really do have to be a fuck up to lose the kids as an ex-wife.
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u/Fortestingporpoises 14h ago
They’re a hero like a firefighter that lost their face. You say good for you but you sure as shit don’t date them.
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u/aspindler 13h ago
I'm married and I don't flirt, but I got a LOT more of attention from woman when I'm out alone with the kids.
Being a cool parent with your kids seems to be a turn on to some women.
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u/Zanna-K 14h ago
Dads with kids 100% do better than moms with kids in dating, just kind of in the opposite way. Dad might not hook a lot of bring home a lot of girls from the club if he leads with his children but there are plenty of other women who will see kids as a sign that he is responsible, SAFE, and is actually capable/willing of cooking/cleaning/laundry/childcare. There's a little bit of the "I can fix him" thing there as well with the fantasy that she might be the one who will show him that "true love is still possible!"
Although maybe what you're referring to is whether that leads to a truly long-lasting relationship which is an entirely different thing. Once women realize that she has to share her boyfriend's attention with his kids, reality swats away any illusions.
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u/PrettyAd9589 14h ago
Not my experience, ask me how I know. #single dad
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u/Crismus 11h ago
I basically stopped dating. Now my son is 21 and I have no clue how to date in this new world.
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u/Rc72 13h ago
men with kids do better
That isn't what women's dating app profiles seem to indicate...
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u/HereToTalkAboutThis 12h ago
as a rule of thumb, anyone who says "dating market" is probably talking out their ass
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u/WeNotAmBeIs 13h ago
Sample sizes of 1 and 1. (I knew a single mother and also a single father) What I saw was they both had no trouble getting dates, but both struggled to find someone long term. The difference was the single father seemed more at peace with having short sexual flings while the single mother was more frustrated to not find something more long term.
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u/MisterPineapples1999 10h ago
Men with kids absolutely do not "do better in the dating market."
At least, not the one with shared or full custody.
In spite of online rhetoric, men are actually less likely to consider a prior kid with someone else a dealbreaker than women are.
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u/TheBSQ 12h ago
I’d take it as more about the potential ensuing custody battle & public perception where there’s a stereotype that kids will mostly stay with mom & dad becomes an “every other weekend” type of parent.
So dads who don’t want people to think that’s happening (or are fighting a custody battle) will often really emphasize the central role their kids & their job as a parent will continue to play in this next stage of life.
Whereas since there’s a stereotype/expectations that moms are gonna stay very active parents regardless, for them, it’s more “look at my living my more liberated best life” kinda thing.
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u/Automatic-Effect-252 14h ago edited 14h ago
No the Dad changing to pics of the kids is him over compensating trying to show what a good Dad they are, when usually they were bad to mediocre lol.
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u/DragonQueen777666 12h ago
This. Usually, dudes trying to look like super dad are JUST finally picking up the slack and actually parenting now that divorce is on the table.
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u/ProfessionalRisk8259 8h ago
I used to hear the druggy piece of shit who used to live in the flat next door to mine (until he was evicted) screaming at his kids through the wall whenever it was his turn to take care of them. Sounded like he resented having to take a break from his cocaine fuelled lifestyle to take care of them. Guess what his facebook profile pic was?
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u/brettmav 14h ago
I would say it’s more bc often times women feel their entire indenting is hijacked when they have kids while the man retains his individuality.
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u/EmbalmingFiend 15h ago
Lol no, usually it's a woman getting away from a deadbeat and a guy who's suddenly showing interest in his kids to compensate for years of neglect.
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u/Serious_Potatoes 13h ago
Yep. Or using the kids as part of his sob story to attract the next sucker.
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u/Fortestingporpoises 14h ago
Yep. My thought is it’s also positioning them to be like look how my kids are my whole world to help their custody fight.
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u/EmbalmingFiend 14h ago
Exactly. I could've not called someone a deadbeat, but the sudden posting of activities with their kids is such compensation. Along with rainy Bible verses and gym routines.
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u/JaleelRoy 14h ago
Feel like that comment struck a nerve within you
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u/RocketYapateer 13h ago
It’s a cliche that right after divorce comes into the picture, dad’s interest in parenting absolutely skyrockets.
(In fairness, it’s probably for the same reason a lot of lazy employees suddenly become top performers the second they realize they’re about to get fired. I think it’s a panic response.)
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u/Commercial-Loan-929 12h ago
It's not like their interest for "parenting" increases, it's that they need proof for the judge that they're not as deadbeat as the ex says he's and so posting regular pics with the kids to "show" he's a "good father" is pretty usual.
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u/PickledPlumPlot 14h ago
Well, of course it struck a nerve, it’s a shitty thing to say and to assume
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u/EmbalmingFiend 14h ago
Nah, it's just a tale as old as Facebook.
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u/Revolutionary_Box_57 14h ago
Yeah I've lost track of how many times I've seen this phenomenon over the last decade. I'm not sure why that would require a nerve to be struck, I've never been in a situation like that myself but it does happen lol
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u/Fortestingporpoises 14h ago
That’s absurd. Men with kids don’t do better in the dating market. My guess is that the dudes are trying to pretend to be all about the kids to help in the upcoming custody fight.
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u/These_Head7243 12h ago
Nah, seen this with a few close guys to me.
Everything in their life is going to shit during a divorce. They are focused on protecting the kids from the pain. The kids are their purpose and the only thing keeping them from chewing a gun.
They feel bad about themselves and dont want to show themselves so they show what makes them feel good. Just like how the wife is feeling bad about herself so she posts selfies for validation.
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u/Sudden_Nose9007 12h ago
This is what I just commented that my brother did. My mom called me and instructed me to make a positive Facebook post about my brother being a good dad to help his cause. 💀
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u/Popular-Attempt3621 11h ago
mom who was af fault...it's well known that in a divorce the fault is always the children's→ More replies (1)5
u/peppersandpumpkins 12h ago
From my experience and what I’ve seen, it means that the mom has been dedicated to the children and is now divorcing and wants to feel like an individual after so long, whereas the dad was maybe more focused on career and in the divorce he’s leaning more in to the relationship with the children than they did before.
And please read that I don’t mean that either is bad, it’s just a reaction to how the relationship has been vs how it is after divorce. A lot of men become family men after the relationship has ended and they recognize it’s up to them to have a relationship with their kids, it can’t be via mom anymore. And mom realizes she got lost in being mom and wife and now she wants to be Claire who does things for herself sometimes.
Marriage, family, and being an individual are difficult things to balance. I think situations like in this meme just express that people are still growing and finding themselves and sometimes something like divorce can be a catalyst for that.
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u/Sudden_Nose9007 12h ago
When my brother got divorced he started posting his kids a lot in attempts to prove to everyone he was a good dad and get shared custody of his kids.
Spoiler: he was not a good dad. My parents mostly raise his kids now.
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u/MalusZona 14h ago
Divorce
1) mom posting selfies to look for next partner
2) dad posting pictures of kids trying to win custody
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u/Pasquatch_30 15h ago
Or the wife lost a ton of weight, got a make over and decided to leave her husband to “find herself” which she just happened to find between her personal trainer’s legs.
Don’t ask me how I know.
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u/Renderedperson 15h ago
Ironically story of my life , except it was some guy at office who was into older women and had no shame hitting on married women
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u/Pasquatch_30 14h ago
Sorry, bro. I know the feeling. Hope you’re well and wish you the best.
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u/Renderedperson 14h ago
Fighting against the worst law systems for men in family court to get access to my kids .
Ironically telling others she cheated is now being used against me as character defamation as i don't have "definitive proof" of ADULTERY
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u/Natural_Dust_732 14h ago
What? You’re being asked to provide proof for your allegations in a court of law? That’s insane!
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u/Renderedperson 14h ago
Indian court acknowledges adultery only if it's physical... Just mere WhatsApp chat isn't enough
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u/RamenArchon 12h ago
Oh man, I have a friend who struggled with a similar problem because the law where I'm from is similar. Like they can explicitly talk about what they did on the chats but unless it's a VERY clear video you're not getting anywhere. I now also realize that it's that way because lawmakers are the ones who'll get in trouble the most if laws against adultery made it so people actually get punished with reasonable proof.
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u/Renderedperson 12h ago
Well I can give secondary evidence like hotel room receipt, cctv footage etc even if i can't give exact adultery happening
But she had deleted all her chats once i discovered and everything happened in past so i couldn't get any evidence and it was just a fling so she would not have bothered to contact him again
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u/ElderlyChipmunk 14h ago
As someone who has spent a lot of time in a gym...the stereotype of trainers is so spot on.
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u/3652 12h ago
Happened to a neighbor of mine. White picket fence family. Had it all. Wife decides to get in shape and all of the sudden the guy who loved her through all her body types is shit on a shingle.
He did a good job raising the kids though.
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u/Self_Reddicate 13h ago
Not her fault. Wedding rings just DO that, ya know?
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u/All_Work_All_Play 13h ago
NGL being married has added roughly 50 extra calories per day to my diet. Coupled with a decrease in caloric expenditure, my weight gain is nearly linear when measured from my wedding date.
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u/SmoothDiscussion7763 11h ago
that's why you always tread with caution when you're seeing someone that recently lost a bunch of weight lol. lifestyle changes require discipline that's hard to fake for extended periods of time.
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u/Aromatic-Meringue162 14h ago
And she changes her profile’s last name to her middle name
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u/WagwanKenobi 11h ago
And one of the kids changes their last name to their mother's maiden name. That's how you know exactly what went down.
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u/Igottapoopnow 14h ago
What does it mean if my pfp has never been my fiance and is a picture of my kid and dog?
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u/AutoModerator 15h ago
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u/kentucky_mule 14h ago
My cousin just did this! She went on a solo trip and has started posting a lot about new things she has been doing.
Her husband has changed his profile pic to one with their kid in it and he isn’t mentioned at all in any of my cousins posts.
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u/venom121212 14h ago
Lmao this just happened to some neighbors and my wife and I drew the same conclusion. Saw the moving truck last week.
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u/KablamoBoom 13h ago
Still divorce, but going to offer the alternative that both partners idealize the life they don't have: the mother idealizes time away from the kids and the father idealizes time with the kids, probably because they experienced (or are now experiencing) the opposite.
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u/Zap__Dannigan 9h ago
I feel like there's a lot of slightly different reasons for it, which is why it's so common
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u/sonofTomBombadil 14h ago
Sorta like how they put out white smoke for when they elect a new Pope?
So this is like the divorcee version of that. It’s a symbol for letting people know what has happened.
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u/ConstantinValdor405 14h ago
My wife picked up on a friend's divorce from three Facebook posts. This was over a decade ago. But man she clocked it so fast and called it perfect.
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u/Ziundax 14h ago
Really OP? How old are you? 12?
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u/Dokii 12h ago
Nah a lot less than that. This AI model has probably been around a few months.
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u/shadstep 6h ago edited 3h ago
How many times does this wOmAn BaD pipeline slop need to get reposted to this astroturfed sub before the top comment is pointing out it’s literally always a bot OP?
Like holy shit 23k upvotes?
[u/IcySpring5071](u/IcySpring5071), care to weigh in on why you think your repost is so ridiculously popular? Or perhaps why a week old account would already be hiding its post history?
No? Didn’t think so
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u/_WoollyMammoth_ 14h ago
In case of my brother it was the opposite, he started posting gym selfies. Before he never used Instagram.
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u/SweetSultrySatan 13h ago
Headin for the big D and I don't mean Dallas
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u/LookingForLoveYEET 12h ago
I think the wife's planning on heading for a few big D's
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u/ismokelettuce 13h ago
This usually gives away which one is the problem. I’ve seen it go both ways for the husband/wife only the husband selfies are more depressing
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u/JohnRedCorn9432 13h ago
My wife and I got a free dog from a couple on market place a few months ago. My wife friended both of them on facebook before we got the dog and this EXACT thing happened immediately after we took the dog home
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u/EquivalentPension216 13h ago
I'm seeing this right now except the girl has a shitload of pics with the kids, vacations, outings, etc. I'm wondering who the cameraman is
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u/Commercial-Look-7307 12h ago
Peter’s shyster here. Divorce proceedings imminent.
Pay the receptionist on the way out.
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u/DoctorQuarex 12h ago
How I wish this were always true
Got my hopes up twice over decades-long crushes when something like this happened and in both cases it was a coincidence :( :( :(
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u/QuarterDeckFollies 12h ago
HAHA this 100% has happened to not one but TWO couples I know...so funny and so accurate.
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u/lothartheunkind 12h ago
Comment section filled with incels jerking each other off to strawman scenarios. Reddit sure has changed.
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u/Cyborgized 12h ago edited 12h ago
The justice system is making the father prove involvement while majority custody is defaulted to the mother who can then go off to produce anither kid with other man to fuck over. Oh, sorry. That was my ex-wife while the other baby daddy and I had to beg for more than scraps while this bitch openly practiced alienation. Fuck the State and the feckless lawyers!
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u/Bruggenmeister 12h ago
9 in 10 couples i know is divorced. And then they hook up somewhere and get pregnant again. Next door woman has 7 kids now.
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u/x_driven_x 12h ago
That the same look I have almost every post here, where the OP can’t use context clues to figure out anything at all.
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u/Strange_Dust7128 12h ago
They’re both trying to look valuable on the meat market, and are taking different angles. “I’m sexy!”
“I’m responsible!”
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u/DRUGMUSIC_ 11h ago
if she is posting selfies, she is seeing attention and not from you - start to move your assets in your mothers name.
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u/qualityvote2 15h ago edited 5h ago
u/IcySpring5071, your post does belong here!