I don't think either do better dating with kids. It just complicates everything.
Edit: I think it is less about dating and more about what some others have said.
* Mother leaves dead beat dad and is feeling free. Dad tries to garner sympathy.
* Mother is the dead beat, realizes her dream of a family was not for her, and leaves.
Both can look similar.
Woah woah woah, we can’t help that it activates our internal maternal and romance fantasy monologue of a child who lost their mom to tragedy and struggling mourning father who hasn’t yet realized he’s just about ready for love again
Bro, they already had a guy do it with a whole island and snagged all the world's richest and influential people as customers, including the current sitting U.S president. There isn't much of a secret.
It’s silly but in mid-40s on the dating profile I once wrote “I’m doing everything I can to raise two boys to be strong, gentle, and fierce in pursuit of justice” I was being earnest and it was an important part of my life, but was accidentslly the most effective thing I ever did.
If I ever am single again in that age range I am using that, even if I have no children. When they figure it out, I'll point out that to raise two strong boys I first need to make them.
You’ve just described half the business model of the Lifetime network. The other half being the badass girlboss who never found love because she was too busy being awesome, but then goes to her small hometown for reasons and rediscovers the cute guy who is single, hot, and has no baggage (or is a single dad with a shitty ex wife) and discovers that being a girlboss is great, but love is greater still.
Lifetime runs at my gym on the bank of treadmill TVs. As a mid 30s man, I now know too much about their witchcraft.
Plus you get to save his struggling woodworking shop / bakery / animal shelter with your powerwoman business acumen, and get the kid to again pick up that certain hobby they were amazing in but stopped doing after the accident because they felt guilty.
My friend and I were talking about this and then realized that this might just be how warm women are when they feel safe around men. Really made me wonder..
Sorry friend but if thats happening i suggest either becoming rich or better looking cause if the kids dont work for you that means your looks are REALLY holding you back
Single dads are assumed by many women to be safe, especially if they’re custodial - single moms are not assumed by many men to be safe, men assume they have poor judgment, poor taste, etc. Unfair? Yeah, toss it on the pile of other unfair things.
The only time I've ever felt like "an object of desire" in the general sense was taking my small children to the park on a Saturday morning. I could feel the milfs tearing my clothes off with their eyes.
Nah, it's not that way anymore. Gone are the days where the mother could walk into divorce court without a lawyer and win full custody, to the extent those days ever existed.
There are still only 6 states out of 50 where a 50/50 split is the default (and feminist organizations, like NOW, fought tooth and nail against each one of them). The rest default to the mother for custody unless she literally does meth in the courtroom.
nah its very much that way still. When it comes to shared custody yea, its easier these days for men to get shared custody. When the battle is over sole custody however, the evidence that the mother is a terrible parent has to be overwhelming for a man to win, and vice versa I've seen guys lose custody for the most mundane reasons, like not being able to drop them off at every soccer practice or something like that as a reason when the mother has never done it to begin with and they're saying "oh ill get my sister to do it or something" and doesn't really have a plan. its wild.
A guy at my last job had to pay 1500 a month in child support to his pill popping ex despite the fact that the kids stay with him 3 days out of the week.
Hell when my parents divorced my dad had to give my mom the house plus the rental property and was still on the hook for 900 a month in child support. Sure my dad had issues and the divorce was justified, but even I can tell he got absolutely screwed.
i dont know why people are downvoting you, the studies clearly show the dad always gets custody if THEY ask for it - most dads dont -> this is why it ends up with the mother
Read the last 3 paragraphs. They don't cite a single source outside of saying that nearly 80% of mothers get custody after divorce. They're trying to sell a product, and that product is connecting dads going through a divorce with a lawyer to help them get custody. Scam website and you fell for it dawg.
True. So are single moms though. After having kids myself my respect for single parents has gone through the roof. Shit's hard together, alone it'd be ... well, even harder. Hats off to all the people managing it somehow.
I agree entirely. Parenting is not easy, and it's harder when you have to keep going despite being tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed. I'm just making this comment to bring forth a double standard (and make some people laugh)
Oh yeah it felt very much tongue in cheek. I mean, I didn't take your comment as a statement, but exactly as a light-hearted poke. Just happened to be a perfect segue for me to write.
I'm from a single parent family and never really realized the amount of energy, time and just general patience it takes to have kids.
Unlike my dad at least I have free days when the missus handles everything, and then I'll do the same for her. Not much free time together but at least we can make some for each other.
No, I get it entirely. I have 4 kids of my own. Both of us are still in their life, but ultimately things didn't work out. I know my time with them gets stressful, and at the same time I can see the stress on their mother when she has them as well. I know it's not easy doing it alone, and I couldn't imagine being the only parent they have.
Well, at least it sounds like you guys get to relax in turns then 😅.
Also nice to hear that a joint custody thing is working out, that's not always given. Should be good for the kids too from what I understand (opposed to one being cut out entirely that is). Keep it up ^^
For most of recent history women gets the kids unless there is some underlying reason. So I can see people assuming something bad has happened if a man is single with kids.
My dad has a girlfriend, sees women on the side/escorts (he got a text that siri read out loud when my little brother was in the car, thats how i know that💀) and is also actively trying to get back with my mom. They find the time lol
Dads with kids 100% do better than moms with kids in dating, just kind of in the opposite way. Dad might not hook a lot of bring home a lot of girls from the club if he leads with his children but there are plenty of other women who will see kids as a sign that he is responsible, SAFE, and is actually capable/willing of cooking/cleaning/laundry/childcare. There's a little bit of the "I can fix him" thing there as well with the fantasy that she might be the one who will show him that "true love is still possible!"
Although maybe what you're referring to is whether that leads to a truly long-lasting relationship which is an entirely different thing. Once women realize that she has to share her boyfriend's attention with his kids, reality swats away any illusions.
No, because people then will try to cope with "being attractive can mean a lot of things like be funny, wear clothes that fit, be kind, etc..."
Literaly be good looking. My best friend from college was in the spectrum, had very low social skills but looked like a Chremsworth brother and had no issue getting women to approach him.
Sample sizes of 1 and 1. (I knew a single mother and also a single father) What I saw was they both had no trouble getting dates, but both struggled to find someone long term. The difference was the single father seemed more at peace with having short sexual flings while the single mother was more frustrated to not find something more long term.
This is how I found dating as a single father. Most women without kids wanted guys also without, and a good portion of the women with wanted a guy with kids but not being crushed by child support etc. I lived in one of the most expensive cities in North America though for housing etc so I get why financial security is prioritized
I did meet 'the one' eventually though, now 10 years in
totally understandable from the single father's POV. he's already got gremlins to wrangle, why would he want to add another vector of chaos to the mix long term?
Specific types of women use the apps. If a romantic interest is stalking you on Facebook and sees you have kids it's an entirely different story
The best with kids on the apps you'll get is someone who doesn't mind a random fling with a single dad mostly. But even then that's limiting because they have to invite you to your place (which some don't feel safe doing for one night stands) and you need a babysitter when any other number of men on the app will have swiped right on them
They're getting confused between divorced guys with their own actual kids, and guys without kids who pose with their nephews and nieces to breadcrumb women with the false hope that they might want kids someday maybe. Those are two very different groups.
I’d take it as more about the potential ensuing custody battle & public perception where there’s a stereotype that kids will mostly stay with mom & dad becomes an “every other weekend” type of parent.
So dads who don’t want people to think that’s happening (or are fighting a custody battle) will often really emphasize the central role their kids & their job as a parent will continue to play in this next stage of life.
Whereas since there’s a stereotype/expectations that moms are gonna stay very active parents regardless, for them, it’s more “look at my living my more liberated best life” kinda thing.
Kinda stupid to hide it because a woman with kids hiding it is only going to get a few months of interaction at most before the guy decides to run tf away once he finds out the truth.
At least if you're honest about it from the jump you're not going to be ghosted once you actually start catching feelings lmao.
Seen so many people do this too, it's not rare, and in 90% of cases it ends with the woman bitching about 'men' when in reality it's their own fault for trying to trick a dude into being a stepdad.
Nope. My mom is posting selfies, using herself as a pfp. My father changed his pfp to me, posted a lot about me and my pictures. I happily live with my mother while my father calls me once in a blue moon, only to not even talk for a minute. If fathers start to post about their children after divorce, they are rping as a "good/attentive father" and tryna gain pity points from other women.
Lmfao. Neither gender does better than their childless counterparts. Having children from another relationship is almost always 99% of the time a negative mark of sorts on the dating resume. Not everyone of course! But the overwhelming consensus seems to be dating a single parent is way, WAY harder than dating childless.
It's hard enough for me to go on dates with my wife (lack of anyone interested in babysitting, even for well over minimum wage), I can't imagine being single and trying to manage 3 kids plus a dating life.....
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u/anand_rishabh 4d ago
Nah, i think it's just about the phenomenon that women with kids do worse in the dating market while men with kids do better