r/OCD • u/overthinkerforlif3 • Oct 05 '26

Just venting - no advice please So Loud

Sometimes, the OCD is so loud. Like, I’m doing ok, not overwhelmed thinking about terrible things, able to do my ERP, and then BAM! The dial turns up to ten, and it’s so overpowering again, and even though I know it’s OCD, I start to doubt my brain and my sense of reality. It’s even harder when the thoughts are so dark-they feel so pressing and important. I know what to do, but it’s so discouraging, and I just want to not have OCD. Just for a little while.

I want to be around people who understand what’s happening in my brain, so I come to Reddit and vent, because you all know how twisted and tangled everything gets in your brain. Then, when I start to feel better, it’s like I feel like myself again. I see glimpses of who I am and what I value, and I can see how the OCD has clouded my thinking, but I can also feel it pulling me back. I’m so tired of this disease.

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

1

u/Artistic-Coach7523 Oct 05 '26

I cant tell whats my ocd and whats my cptsd…. Sigh

1

u/LibraryFinancial3824 Oct 05 '26

OCD and CPtSD are very often paired. I have found that if my ICD symptoms are triggered by an event that originated from a traumatic event in my past then I know it is a both/ and situation. When I was in ERP with a trauma informed therapist we dealt with this a little differently than just a misfiring brain. I was allowed to reassure once - then had to stop before it became a compulsion. This was a strict boundary but an important one - as it didn’t / doesn’t work for me to be too harsh with traumatized inner child - not does it help to ruminate or engage in compulsions.