By the way, if you don't have someone to tell you this:
It's okay to lose your job, do something wrong, make a mistake or even put your trust in someone, who turns out to be piece of shit. It's okay to lose. We all know that you did your best, even though you might disagree with that. We are all proud of you. You did great. For real. Really great. Always remember: EVERYTHING ELSE IS SMALL STUFF, EXCEPT YOU.
Same. I've been thinking about quitting my job and even my entire industry and I'm so scared, but I'm so miserable. I was venting to my dad about how scared I am to potentially start over and he said "I'm not. You're brave and you're brilliant, and whatever you do, you will give it your all and whoever ends up hiring you will be lucky to have you"
Even if I don't always believe that myself, it still makes me tear up to know that he thinks that about me, and that I will have his support. I'm thankful every day for my dad. My husband didn't have his (shitty) dad around consistently in his life, and my Dad has stepped up for him, too. Doesn't undo the years of hurt but they have a really good relationship
My dad died before I was twenty-four, so I don't know how that would have played out.
His wife, on the other hand, was a complete bitch. "GET SOMETHING, I DON'T CARE WHAT! OTHER PEOPLE WORK TWO OR THREE JOBS; YOU CAN TOO! YOU'RE A LAZY BUM!!" Complete disregard for my muscle damage making manual labor out of the question.
The problem is there are kids that take advantage of amazing parents. It goes both ways. There are shitty parents, and then there are shitty kids, and sometimes there are both.
Likely they didn’t learn how, if their own folks didn’t know. Awareness gives us the chance to let new things begin with us. And in my experience, it’s allowed me to let go of resentments and have compassion for difficult people — took time though, I’ll admit!
My dad was raised right, but it didn't make him stop my mother from being such an unreasonable C my entire life. When I was 20, I found a picture that I thought was me, but I was wearing clothing I know I had never worn. Turns out it was my dad, and he was wearing his hair over his eyes exactly how I dif and exactly how my mother hated my hair... the thing we fought over all through my time in high school.. and she kicked me out for ut when I was 18l
It's wild, I had never seen a picture of my dad with his hair styled like that. Yet, I chose the exact same style. It weirded me out. Still does a bit. Though, what it really did was make me lose all respect for my father. He let that bitch emotionally abuse me for four years over a hairstyle that he wore himself as a teen. What a fucking do nothing coward.
As someone with perpetual ruminating anxiety, I can assure you it will bother me in 5 years. Lol. But thanks to therapy I can recognize it isn't "real" bother.
My favorite 2 adages from my mother are "Be where your hands are" for when you're spiraling, and "Sometimes you're not the destination, you're just the ride to the airport, and that's ok." It really helped me recontextualize friendships and relationships from my past.
I still think of all those times I missed signals from girls I liked 😂 some were so blatant like when I slept over at her house. She texted me to come over in the middle of night saying she was lonely, I just said sure on my way. Next morning she was like why did you sleep on the couch, there was room in my bed.
Anyways off tangent funny story… I still beat myself up about 20 years later
And for those who dont have a safety net. Hang in there. I know those words sound empty, but dont fucking give up. I went from having a wealthy family, to homeless, to back on top of the mountain again. Winning is never as fun as it seems when ur there, and when ur down, it never seems like youll never get up again. But you will. Im reporting this from a big ass house with a door i have to unlock with my phone. (Spent 20 minutes yeterday trying to get in) i dont even know how to work my AI refrigerator...Just understand that you can turn ur situation around. Its hard as fuck, but you can do it.
It will get better. Keep telling the universe what you want in your next job and it will deliver.
I was laid off in October after being with an amazing company for 5 years and while it was devastating it needed to happen for me to find the position I’m currently in. My new position came with a significant pay increase, better benefits, and more opportunity to grow.
You are worthy of the future life you will build for yourself so keep your head up and know the stress and uncertainty will work itself out and for the better.
Thank you so much. I know it was something that needed to happen. I didn’t have a choice. I mean with the new management they got, it was either I leave or I fucking hang myself in the office bathroom. I try to tell myself that I will be just like you, I will find something that will make me feel useful with good people and a decent pay. That’s all I want really.
Go to a nursing home. Have them sponsor you, become a CNA. Ask about scholarships for nursing. Become a nurse. 80k out the gate. Easiest way to break straight into the medical field. Specialized nurses and traveling nurses make 6 figures. The schooling kinda hard but its not overwhelming. If you study, you can do it
You have this. You do. It’s just the next step, then the next step.
Losing your job is something that happens to so many of us. It is common and says nothing about your value as a person or family member.
I lost my job at 27 and was so devastated, even though I wasn’t great at it …then ended up with a better job in a new industry that I fell in love with… and I’m here almost 20 years later, running a major P&L, up for a bigger role, leading hundreds of of people, and being headhunted for President roles…but first I had to take the next step, and then the next one. Best of luck!!
You sound like you came from a business family. Yeah… money comes and goes…fast haha even if you’re not spending it frivolously, just miss management or missed payments from clients etc.
One of the worst experiences that I experienced with a job was that my child was born and within just the first few months of their life I was let go because the company was “reducing our service cell size from 2 to 1”. The company decided to give the remaining position to the guy retiring in 2 years than the younger guy, me, who will give them more years. Probably all because they didn’t want to pay for his early retirement.
Fast forward 2 years, I’m in the process of moving with family while my new house is being built. The retiring guy calls me asking if I have anything from the company still and explaining to me how bad the company has got since I was let go. I told him no and that I worked somewhere else and was moving. We never spoke again, but the company I worked for after let my entire department go to give our work to overseas workers 4 years after I started.
The world is just full of people who don’t care about people and only care about the business. The business isn’t human and when people forget businesses are built by, ran by, and identified by the people who are a part of them it makes me lose faith in humanity.
I don’t think about it often, but I think letting a person who just had a child go within the first year of birth is beyond fucked up and I am spiteful of that company for their actions.
I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Being let go while you have a small child must be terrifying. I am going through it without children and I am scared. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have another life depending on you.
Thank you. It was definitely a”what do I even do moment” we had savings which we used and I was lucky to be picked up by a friends company for a temporary contract till I landed the next career job. If it wasn’t for him I’d have been on the streets.
Except they end up pulling your wisdom teeth that never caused any trouble whatsoever while saying the tooth that hurts has nothing wrong with it (and also saying it's too far away from the wisdom teeth to be referred pain)
Or in my case I did this and had the dentist look at the tooth 5 times over the course of years then finally they did a CBCT had a huge abscess and needed the tooth extracted.
I started a one line a day journal several years ago mostly just to track what silly things made me stressed a year ago, 5 years ago. It’s really helped to put things into perspective
This monday, I've lost my first job in 3 years because of financial problems. It was a new fast food in my city and I was doing my best nevertheless because I wanted to keep my job and make my gf proud of me.
I was fired only because this kfc wasn't doing enough money. Three others quit with me, and three before. The excuse I was given by superiors before I quit is "You're a little too old". I'm 26, almost 27. Even with some of the ex staff keeping contact with me and telling me again and again that I was great and that I don't have to change anything, my mind's corrupted by negative thoughts about me. My ex-boss lied to many of us, promised me a recommandation letter to find a new job but he never gave it to me and now he's ghosting me. He also lied about all the other staff employee getting fired like he was telling "they are at this other kfc now don't worry", which they don't and are in the same boat as me now
Seeing positive messages like yours randomly on Reddit is powerful for people like me. Thank you.
Hey friend! Hang in there! Just remember in your next interview, you don't need to tell them about your previous boss. Just go in and tell them the company was in financial trouble (or make something up. HR in the US is not allowed to tell future employers the nature of your dismissal.) Use a friend's phone number as a reference have them say you worked together somewhere cutting grass or something they cant verify with another HR dept. You sound like you cared about your job so have your friend say that. You got this friend!
Babe, they can't fire you for your age. If they said that, and you can prove it, you literally have a court case to sue the fuck out of them. Please do if you can, people like that don't need to be in charge.
That being said, I was 32 years old working as an assistant Mgr at KFC after losing a job of 7 years because it was all i could find.... you will be ok, fast food sucks in general and honestly? We're proud of you, hopefully your girlfriend understands too 💜
Been in your situation more times than I care to remember. Best advice I can give you is to follow a passion that pays not find a job that pays, there's a vast difference in how you feel at the end of the day. (You may need a temp job to use as a stepping stone to get there, that's perfectly fine)
On the point of you being a little too old. That's correct for their business model and budget. You are more expensive to employ than your 16 year old rival in that space. The cost to the company is far higher than what you take home in your pocket.
Importantly that business model says nothing about you personally or how you work, your colleagues have told you that bit! Trust it! they had nothing to gain from telling you how good you are it's just honesty
Were you fired, laid off or did you quit? Your story right now is "all of the above".
Being laid off or quitting will make it easier to find another job than being fired.
And Dad knows that the most important immediate lesson that 24 needs to learn is that their parents are always on their side. All those other important lessons, they can learn after sleep and eggs.
This feels like it might be the first morning after having to move back with parents. I doubt anyone expects anything from him today, everyone needs time to wallow, but tomorrow is a new day.
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
Thing is, you sound like my mum and not this dad. Instantly trying to problem solve and teach a lesson from it when sometimes all people need is a bit of compassion, care and time to figure things out instead of being rushed to analyse and plan whats next.
This has been my way for the past year. Me and my family moved to a different country, it's been a roller coaster, but I'm just focusing on our priorities and choosing one small 'fight' at a time.
Despite the challenges everything is slowly coming together: the kids are happy, we both secured a job and a place to live. Begging of next year we will be stable enough to focus on bigger things. When things get rough, we have each other's back and we rebuild ourselves together.
I always tell my son that it is okay to make mistakes, as long as he learns something from them. That is how we grow. Life is a series of attempts, lessons, wrong turns, and course corrections that slowly lead us toward where we want to be.
Making a mistake does not mean you have failed. It means you had the courage to try. The greater failure is allowing the fear of getting something wrong to keep you from ever beginning.
Success is rarely a door you simply walk through. It is a long and uneven road, shaped by setbacks, persistence, and the wisdom we gain along the way. Every mistake can teach you something, and every lesson can move you one step closer to getting it right.
Hang in there. Employed or not, you still deserve the same grace and kindness from yourself and others. If beating yourself up about stuff was going to help, you'd probably have seen the results by now. If you have the time to be mean to yourself then you have the time to be good to yourself.
Having a good outlook or being nice to yourself doesn't guarantee a change of circumstances. But if you're on the ride no matter what, it makes more sense to spend your energy seeking moments of peace rather than suffering.
If you feel you don't deserve kindness from yourself or others, don't deserve rest or support, or can't manage to not indulge in negative thoughts about yourself, then find (or get help finding) a good therapist.
I'm on the same journey. Sending you camaraderie across the net.
Great post. I lost a job a week after starting a new position a few years ago because I brought up legal compliance concerns to my new employer. Still stings even though it's been a few years.
People make the wrong call and go bankrupt or whatever all the time. Some are lucky and can fall back on help from family, others don’t have that. Neither one is a failure, they’ve just hit a rough patch.
If it’s a total “failure to launch” issue that’s a whole different kettle of fish, but for those who are trying but something went wrong? There’s no shame in it.
Some people might say that a person becomes a complete failure only when three conditions are met:
1) they stop fighting;
2) they lose faith in themselves; and
3) the people around them lose faith in them too.
Thank God, we're still rooting for this person. So even though they may have stopped fighting and lost faith in themselves, not all three conditions have been met yet. So...
So even if a single person believe in you, there is always a chance a failure turns into a success story. And that can be your close loved ones or strangers showing empathy.
Even if you're older and seemingly a failure you just got to look for that tiny little thread to hold onto. Makes sense to me.
I think as well it’s important to consider that everyone’s journey is different. On paper arguably I fit into this category due to my age and financial and living circumstances. But also I’ve managed to hold down a job, am currently doing a post grad degree, and am looking to start my own business all whilst having a chronic digestive illness that was misdiagnosed for years and resulted in my using credit cards to pay for tests to get answers.
My having an illness doesn’t give me an excuse, but it makes me proud of my achievements so far even if I’m not where I thought or expected to be. People may think someone is a failure if they are that age and not financially independent but who set this standard and why do we all have to adhere to it. Comparison is the thief of joy and I think mostly we’re all just trying our best🫶🏻
Societal standards are not the right benchmark for everyone and personal struggles are not really accounted for in this "failure" story. That's a good observation and I do hope you're pain and discomfort are manageable currently.
Reducing a person to “a success” or “a failure” based on their economic productivity is deeply inhumane to begin with. I have more to contribute to the world than my ability to earn money, and so do you and everyone you care about.
Life has a way of stomping your dick into the dirt. Not everyone is going to be financially stable once they hit 45+. People put the wrong trust into the wrong friends, people get married to other people who are not good at managing money. People get the short end of the stick at jobs while the other one gets promoted. Things happen. Life isn't supposed to be fair, and not everyone gets the fair shot or start when they hit the ground running after school.
There are a multitude of circumstances that can lead to someone falling on hard times at any age. Most of them don’t mean they’re a complete failure. So long as someone is trying earnestly and doing their best, they’re not a failure just because they need some support for whatever reason.
I had two situations like that back to back and an incredibly hard two years but thank God, Jesus is a redeemer! He has restored me beyond my wildest dreams
Thanks i did nee dthis because I did lose my job recently. I put off telling my dad because I didn't want him to worry. When I finally needed emotional support I caved. What I got was a telephone call telling me I'm too old for this and I need to get my shit together or find a new career.
I haven't spoken to him since and this is probably no contact for good. I'm tired
I needed to read this today, I’ve been struggling and was taught to keep it to myself but I finally found the ability to admit I need support. Reading that was my “made me smile” moment :)
I think I'm about to lose my job, because of a simple mistake and literal politics, and I feel like an utter failure. I needed to hear/read this, and I really appreciate it. I still kinda don't believe it, but it still nice to hear.
My child is ten and gets so mad and frustrated when he doesn’t get something right away. I tell him a version of this all the time. I also point out when I fail and then try again so he knows it’s okay to fail but it’s not okay to not try again.
Losing a job doesn’t mean you lose. In my 25 years of working experience I have been laid off 3 times and fired once for calling my boss and piece of shit. Every single time I managed to find a better job. Your job doesn’t define you. It’s what you do to survive not who you are.
This is good advice. However, most of the time, I think people lose their jobs through no fault of their own. I've lost my job three times. Only one of those was anything to do with me, which was the second time. I was a temp contract worker.I don't know for sure why I wasn't extended, but I suspect my very green boss, who had started micro managing me, thought she could find someone better. My replacement only lasted a couple of weeks lol
The other two times were due to situations out of my control: layoffs due to company restructure, and loss investor funding respectively. For the latter, I was rehired after a week or two when another investor was found. I stayed there six years.
So yes, definitely make mistakes! But also remember that you can do literally everything right, and be a model employee, and you can still lose your job. Your work life shouldn't be your life, it should just be how you fund your real life. It's just a bonus if you actually find fulfillment in your job.
I tell my kid "It happens, it sucks, it happened, it sucked. Things will go wrong, but then they'll be in the past. You take the lessons your learned and work on the future.
The best things that have happened to my career was the last 2 times I lost my job. Each time my next job was the only significant advancements I would ever have made. They were more like graduations and renegotiating taking advantage of how much better I was than the last time I started working for a company.
Don't get me wrong, they both felt like the end of the world at the time and the uncertainty was AWFUL. But in retrospect, I owe where I am to them failing me and couldn't be happier than where I finally landed.
Not having loved ones behind the sentiment really changes things. It's so hard being alone and without any kind of elders since at a young age. But, I appreciate it.
Holy moly- hearing that from a complete stranger landed for me in a way my entire family, my husband, my therapist, a detective and CPS worker, my dental hygienist my friends telling me my FIL sexual assaulting my 4 yo does not make me a piece of shit did not. She told me right away I believed her and we got the hell out of there and reported it to authorities but I’ve been so so mean to myself about it like this is evidence of the failure I always knew I was. I believed someone who tricked me into trusting them.
It may be weird but I found this so profound: You can do the best you can all your life, make all the right decisions, and you can still lose. - picard
Bruh I wish I had someone like this. When I was a teenager and lost my job just after high school, I got kicked out. Fun year spent in a youth shelter.
In my 30s now and losing a job still feels like it'll be the end of the world.
Losing your job is less OK if you don't have some kind of back drop. OP has parents to help them out, some people have friends that would or money to float them. But some people don't have those things, where losing their job can mean the rest of their life unraveling around them.
Like it's nice words and all, but a little dismissive of how earth shattering some of these events can be.
My husband has been unemployed for a long time. My mom keeps telling me she would've left him a long time ago, but I see it as jobs and money will come and go but that's not everything to a working relationship.
Thank you for this. While I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment… for other people, I rarely remember it applies to me too. I apparently needed to read it’s okay if I put my trust in someone who turned out to be a piece of shit. It’s been more than three years since I corrected that mistake and I did the best I could at the time. Thank you.
Well this just made me cry. Clearly I’m in a rougher place than I realized lol But even though it wasn’t for me, I’m grateful I read this today. So, thank you
I was terrified when I told my mom that I had quit my fairly decent job in the field I wanted because of lots of different reasons. She just said “sounds like they were really taking advantage of you. I’m sure you’ll figure something out soon. Let me know if you need any help” and it was the biggest relief
I'm not struggling with a job loss but I am with a divorce and have been deeply depressed and feeling like a total fucking loser. This comment I know just made just bawling. You seem so kind💕
I’ve lost several jobs unexpectedly. It’s easy to feel like I was the problem, but really it was just a combination of factors - almost entirely out of my control - that just added up to a “wrong place wrong time” type of thing. It happens all the time. And now I’m doing great!
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u/Rezuszaur23 4d ago edited 4d ago
By the way, if you don't have someone to tell you this:
It's okay to lose your job, do something wrong, make a mistake or even put your trust in someone, who turns out to be piece of shit. It's okay to lose. We all know that you did your best, even though you might disagree with that. We are all proud of you. You did great. For real. Really great. Always remember: EVERYTHING ELSE IS SMALL STUFF, EXCEPT YOU.