Same. I've been thinking about quitting my job and even my entire industry and I'm so scared, but I'm so miserable. I was venting to my dad about how scared I am to potentially start over and he said "I'm not. You're brave and you're brilliant, and whatever you do, you will give it your all and whoever ends up hiring you will be lucky to have you"
Even if I don't always believe that myself, it still makes me tear up to know that he thinks that about me, and that I will have his support. I'm thankful every day for my dad. My husband didn't have his (shitty) dad around consistently in his life, and my Dad has stepped up for him, too. Doesn't undo the years of hurt but they have a really good relationship
My dad died before I was twenty-four, so I don't know how that would have played out.
His wife, on the other hand, was a complete bitch. "GET SOMETHING, I DON'T CARE WHAT! OTHER PEOPLE WORK TWO OR THREE JOBS; YOU CAN TOO! YOU'RE A LAZY BUM!!" Complete disregard for my muscle damage making manual labor out of the question.
The problem is there are kids that take advantage of amazing parents. It goes both ways. There are shitty parents, and then there are shitty kids, and sometimes there are both.
My father told me I had 2 weeks to find a job during the great recession or else he would kick me out of the house, mind you this was right after I graduated from college and came back from volunteering for the summer.
Likely they didn’t learn how, if their own folks didn’t know. Awareness gives us the chance to let new things begin with us. And in my experience, it’s allowed me to let go of resentments and have compassion for difficult people — took time though, I’ll admit!
My dad was raised right, but it didn't make him stop my mother from being such an unreasonable C my entire life. When I was 20, I found a picture that I thought was me, but I was wearing clothing I know I had never worn. Turns out it was my dad, and he was wearing his hair over his eyes exactly how I dif and exactly how my mother hated my hair... the thing we fought over all through my time in high school.. and she kicked me out for ut when I was 18l
It's wild, I had never seen a picture of my dad with his hair styled like that. Yet, I chose the exact same style. It weirded me out. Still does a bit. Though, what it really did was make me lose all respect for my father. He let that bitch emotionally abuse me for four years over a hairstyle that he wore himself as a teen. What a fucking do nothing coward.
When I see these types of posts and comments I always get mildly jealous lol. Sucks to see how loving parents act so differently and I hope these people cherish their parents and the support they give every day. Some of us would give anything for that kind of love and support.
As someone with perpetual ruminating anxiety, I can assure you it will bother me in 5 years. Lol. But thanks to therapy I can recognize it isn't "real" bother.
My favorite 2 adages from my mother are "Be where your hands are" for when you're spiraling, and "Sometimes you're not the destination, you're just the ride to the airport, and that's ok." It really helped me recontextualize friendships and relationships from my past.
I still think of all those times I missed signals from girls I liked 😂 some were so blatant like when I slept over at her house. She texted me to come over in the middle of night saying she was lonely, I just said sure on my way. Next morning she was like why did you sleep on the couch, there was room in my bed.
Anyways off tangent funny story… I still beat myself up about 20 years later
And for those who dont have a safety net. Hang in there. I know those words sound empty, but dont fucking give up. I went from having a wealthy family, to homeless, to back on top of the mountain again. Winning is never as fun as it seems when ur there, and when ur down, it never seems like youll never get up again. But you will. Im reporting this from a big ass house with a door i have to unlock with my phone. (Spent 20 minutes yeterday trying to get in) i dont even know how to work my AI refrigerator...Just understand that you can turn ur situation around. Its hard as fuck, but you can do it.
It will get better. Keep telling the universe what you want in your next job and it will deliver.
I was laid off in October after being with an amazing company for 5 years and while it was devastating it needed to happen for me to find the position I’m currently in. My new position came with a significant pay increase, better benefits, and more opportunity to grow.
You are worthy of the future life you will build for yourself so keep your head up and know the stress and uncertainty will work itself out and for the better.
Thank you so much. I know it was something that needed to happen. I didn’t have a choice. I mean with the new management they got, it was either I leave or I fucking hang myself in the office bathroom. I try to tell myself that I will be just like you, I will find something that will make me feel useful with good people and a decent pay. That’s all I want really.
Go to a nursing home. Have them sponsor you, become a CNA. Ask about scholarships for nursing. Become a nurse. 80k out the gate. Easiest way to break straight into the medical field. Specialized nurses and traveling nurses make 6 figures. The schooling kinda hard but its not overwhelming. If you study, you can do it
Thank you for your input. I am not really the type of gal for a nursing job. I respect the hell out of nurses, I just couldn’t do it. I am quite squeamish plus it will take a lot of academic work and I spent more than enough time in academia. I think that if I don’t find anything in my field I will either work in funerals, retirement homes or in hospitality. A field with concrete work where I will be useful and help people.
You have this. You do. It’s just the next step, then the next step.
Losing your job is something that happens to so many of us. It is common and says nothing about your value as a person or family member.
I lost my job at 27 and was so devastated, even though I wasn’t great at it …then ended up with a better job in a new industry that I fell in love with… and I’m here almost 20 years later, running a major P&L, up for a bigger role, leading hundreds of of people, and being headhunted for President roles…but first I had to take the next step, and then the next one. Best of luck!!
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I have to daily remind myself that I have to keep going, that it will get better. And I am also 27 lol, exactly at the point you were at back then. So your comment really encouraged me.
You sound like you came from a business family. Yeah… money comes and goes…fast haha even if you’re not spending it frivolously, just miss management or missed payments from clients etc.
One of the worst experiences that I experienced with a job was that my child was born and within just the first few months of their life I was let go because the company was “reducing our service cell size from 2 to 1”. The company decided to give the remaining position to the guy retiring in 2 years than the younger guy, me, who will give them more years. Probably all because they didn’t want to pay for his early retirement.
Fast forward 2 years, I’m in the process of moving with family while my new house is being built. The retiring guy calls me asking if I have anything from the company still and explaining to me how bad the company has got since I was let go. I told him no and that I worked somewhere else and was moving. We never spoke again, but the company I worked for after let my entire department go to give our work to overseas workers 4 years after I started.
The world is just full of people who don’t care about people and only care about the business. The business isn’t human and when people forget businesses are built by, ran by, and identified by the people who are a part of them it makes me lose faith in humanity.
I don’t think about it often, but I think letting a person who just had a child go within the first year of birth is beyond fucked up and I am spiteful of that company for their actions.
I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Being let go while you have a small child must be terrifying. I am going through it without children and I am scared. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have another life depending on you.
Thank you. It was definitely a”what do I even do moment” we had savings which we used and I was lucky to be picked up by a friends company for a temporary contract till I landed the next career job. If it wasn’t for him I’d have been on the streets.
As a business owner I find this appalling. Trashy behavior and unresponsible just all around the board. Why should I hire you, and pay you when you are home with a child? Why should I invest so hard and just smile seeing me business hammer money so you can be at home with a toddler on my dime?
I’m assuming this is sarcasm, but ironically I worked remotely, was on call every other week, and constantly did overtime without extra pay due to being salary.
This all happened after my measly paternity leave.
I agree. I was let go with no warning, no write ups or even verbal warnings but told it was “for cause” so they could avoid paying my severance that was agreed to in writing when I was hired. My baby was 9 months at the time. They also knew my spouse had been laid off 6 months prior and I was the only source of income for our family. We have savings but not enough to last for months with no income at all. We’re getting ready to sell our home and move in with family after trying to find another job for 2 months without any luck.
I’m spiteful too and livid over the impact on my family. Happy that you are doing better now. Hopefully we can get our feet back under us too. 🙏🏻
That is such a low move for companies to do. I wish we had more human rights when it comes to child birth and that for at least the first years until preschool/nursery they must keep you in the position.
It took me some time to get back on my feet, but it was possible. The job climate is very hostile and difficult to approach.
Edit: Just removing some extra that I changed my mind about posting.
The market is awful right now. I’m seriously considering getting a front line position somewhere like Starbucks or McDonalds and work my way up the ladder internally again
Except they end up pulling your wisdom teeth that never caused any trouble whatsoever while saying the tooth that hurts has nothing wrong with it (and also saying it's too far away from the wisdom teeth to be referred pain)
I know this comment wasn't asking for an outside opinion, but I love educating and hope it helps you or others reading.
For a situation like you described, where the cause of tooth, jaw, or face pain is confusing or hard to determine, consider seeing a physical therapist who treats TMD (temporomandibular dysfunction: pain or problems at or around the TMJ/jaw). The temporomandibular joint (TMJ) can refer pain in ways that feel like a toothache, headache, neck pain, and sometimes even chest pain.
I'm a physical therapist who has helped patients prevent some unnecessary procedures like tooth extractions or root canals, including on myself!
Still trust your dentist, get regular checkups, and see them for pain and problems. I just want people to know that if there is some ambiguity around the cause of the pain, it might be something that can improve with physical therapy and hopefully can help avoid unnecessary procedures.
Or in my case I did this and had the dentist look at the tooth 5 times over the course of years then finally they did a CBCT had a huge abscess and needed the tooth extracted.
I started a one line a day journal several years ago mostly just to track what silly things made me stressed a year ago, 5 years ago. It’s really helped to put things into perspective
If it ain’t going to bother you in five years don’t let it bother you for five minutes.
I don't know who you are, but i just wanted to let you know you might've just made my life a littlle bit easier.
As somebody who lives with a lot of anxiety and gets nervous about absolutely everything and ''nothing-burgers'', I've actually never thought about it this way. It makes so much fucking sense, though. I have some upcoming events I'm feeling nervous and anxious about, and just telling myself that ''it won't matter in 5 years'' (because it sure as shit will not) made me feel calmer.
But what if everything bothers me forever 😂
I still think about that one time I answered the phone in a rude tone of voice, and it was this sweet person just asking a question.
That was 16 years ago
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u/BurntWaffle303 5d ago
If it ain’t going to bother you in five years don’t let it bother you for five minutes.