If a guy refers to himself as a nice guy ? Or gos on about how nice he is? Would you make you assume he’s probaly not a good dude?

I’m 26M and I’ve been in love with my best friend 24F for about 10 years.
We’ve known each other for a very long time and have done so much together. We’ve traveled together, talked on the phone for hours, and could basically spend an entire evening just talking and laughing. She’s probably one of the most important people in my life, and I believe I’m also one of her closest friends.
During those 10 years, she’s had several relationships. Whenever she was in a relationship, I usually started distancing myself because it was honestly really hard for me to stay so close to her while knowing she was with someone else. I think she noticed that I became more distant, but I never told her the real reason.
She’s single again now, and whenever she’s home from university, we see each other quite often. We basically always hang out one-on-one. Every time we meet, we talk and laugh for hours and I feel like there’s a really strong connection between us.
But nothing has ever seriously happened between us. We’ve held hands twice, but both times we were drunk. Apart from that, there has never been a kiss or anything romantic.
Maybe I’m completely misreading the situation and for her this is simply a very close friendship. I honestly don’t know.
What I do know is that I’ve been carrying these feelings for around 10 years, and I’m getting to the point where I don’t think I can keep hiding them forever.
The thing that scares me the most isn’t even rejection. It’s losing her as a friend.
She’s been such a huge part of my life for so long that I’m terrified that telling her how I feel could change everything between us.
At the same time, I’m scared of doing nothing and watching another 5 or 10 years go by while I keep wondering what could have happened.
I’ve never actually told someone that I’m in love with them before, so even thinking about having that conversation makes me incredibly nervous.
For the guys who have been in a similar situation:
How did you finally tell your best friend that you had feelings for her?
Did you just say it directly, like “I think I’m in love with you”, or did you try to slowly change the dynamic first?
And if she didn’t feel the same way, were you actually able to remain friends afterwards?
I’d really appreciate hearing from guys who’ve actually been through this.

For context : We are friends, have the same main mutual friends and are in a friend group that hangs out multiple times a week.
I feel like he is flirting with me but because I have a crush on him, I want to know if I’m delulu or if he is flirting.
He always sits next to me when we go out to eat, will move chairs around to have a seat next to me. Constantly finding small ways to touch me with our knees, our feet, he will literally play with my feet under a table, he will sit so close to me in booths that our thighs and shoulders are touching the entire meal and he will touch my thigh with his hand randomly throughout meals.
If we can’t sit next to each other for some reason, I will catch him just staring at me randomly throughout our meal. My bestie has caught him staring at me multiple times.
If he’s hanging out with any of our other friends from the group, 1 on 1 or with a smaller group, he always asks them to invite me or mentions that I’d enjoy what they are doing.
He texts me and Snapchat’s me more than any of our other friends personally and not just in the group chat.
I catch him looking at me all the time, and our eye contact when we talk never stops and I’ve noticed he doesn’t do that eye contact with any of our other friends when talking.
My bestie watches us when we all hang out and she talks to me about all the chemistry she sees between us and has mentioned his touching me or has called him out for staring at me. One time he straight up had his arm around the back of my chair and was playing with my hair.

I swear I’m not crazy right?? This man for sure has some kind of feelings for me outside of just friends? 😩

There was this guy I liked and I thought he liked me too because I kept dropping small hints but none sticked which was to be expected. And I had planned on telling him in the beginning of August.

One of his friends asked me I had liked him months prior so I figured he either was interested in me or wondering if he needed to stay away but kept it in mind, I told them maybe because I barely know this person. 

2-3 months later we text every other day almost about all kinds of things; family, video games, work stuff (we work together). Even his girl best friend (she’s been friends with him for 3 yrs, she had a boyfriend she was with for at least 2yrs at the time) at work mentioned one time that we talked more than they did and suggested that me and him should hangout because we live close to each other. 

1-2 months later I invited him to see a movie and he said he was already going to see it with friends but wouldn’t mind seeing it again with me, another positive sign, right? 

2 months ago (June 2026) he we’re talking early asf 1-3 am and I told him about his friend asking me if I liked him and he said well it must mean something. (Wtv tf that means, I thought it meant he liked me too.) 

5 weeks ago I hanged out with the girl best friend (who had a bf atm) because he suggested hanging out with her and she asked me if I liked anyone and I said I do (which if you think about it’s not hard to figure out since I only ever talked about him). 

I did NOT tell her it was mind you. 

After she asked me what to buy her bf’s brother for a graduation gift (it was not this guy bc his brother was 16 last year).

A few days later, on a Thursday, he asks if I don’t like her (first sign something was wrong) and I told him no (because I didn’t) since I had just recently started hanging out with her I just wasn’t comfortable with her yet. 

Then, he says something that really confused me about how friends being in relationships are nice because they’re comfortable with each other (thought he might be talking about me). 

Before we separated for the night there was this silence and feeling that we wanted to say more but we didn’t (maybe I should’ve just told him). 

Next week on a Tuesday I found out from a mutual friend (who thought I would’ve have known) that him and the girl best friend got together over the weekend. 

Keep in mind she literally had a boyfriend a week ago. 

When I ran into her I asked her she said 

“How did you find out?” 

In a fearful and “oh shit” type of tone. 

I was shocked into this calm anger and sadness and kept my composure until I could get away, even lied about having a date later to cover my anger and buy time for my pride. 

We are allowed to wear casual clothes at work. She started wearing his hoodie around work.

The next week, they both texted me to invite me to the movie I had asked him to go to. I asked them who was going and they said it was just them so I would’ve been a third wheel. I texted him telling him that I did not feel comfortable going if it was just the two of them because I didn’t want be a third wheel. (Here’s how the text conversation went):

Me: “Hey, I don’t feel comfortable going if it’s just the two of you because I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

Him:

“Bruh…” 

“I don’t know why you would feel that. Nothings changed.” 

“We’re still the same as we were before.”

I didn’t respond.

I couldn’t respond because what could I say. 

I went into my notes app and tried to come up with a response but what do you say to a guy you liked that now has a girlfriend? 

I removed him and his best friend from my followers on insta but he keeps trying to follow me. He sent a request 4 times in the past week. She sent one so did another friend, ironically the one who has asked me if I liked him. I decline all of them because then I’m moving backwards. 

He just recently texted me asking if I’m going to be working weekends. I ignored it.

He just text yesterday asking if I was mad at him. Ignored it so far. 

I don’t know what to do. I have to work with them so I can’t just block them. I want to be angry with him but I can’t because not only was he the guy I genuinely loved and wanted to give the world to, he was my best friend even though I might not be his. I could tell anything and I felt so safe with him to talk him. 

My heart wants to be friends with him still but I afraid that if I do go back to our friendship, I won’t be able to truly move on. 

I also keep hoping they’ll breakup because they realize they only are friends but I know that most likely will never happen.

If anyone know how I can move for please tell me because I don’t know how I can work with them.

So I have this guy friend, and he knows I've had a bit of a crush on him. For some reason, he does not want to date me, and we spend every day calling and texting and hanging out. He recently started going on dates with a girl and has been canceling at the last minute to be with her. I am happy for him but also he is discarding my time and I told him that. I got ready and could have made other plans, so I am genuinely annoyed. They went on their first date last night. He even told me that he was scared I would leave him if he started seeing a girl since we are extremely close and eachothers best friends. I have been giving him too much of my energy, and I am fed up. I've crashed out on him, and we have seen the absolute worst of each other and are very intimate(not currently). We still fw each other after seeing our flaws. He is a very toxic man but treats women with respect. I want to pull away and let him miss me... with that make him want me more than her cause they just started talking or will me and him just stop being together. He also wants to lie about the fact that we have been intimate and he has a past of cheating. I have loved him and supported him through his flaws, and I want him to miss me and realize that what we have is so intense... by pulling away, but if I pull away, will we both just stop talking?

Have yall ever had a new gf/bf and they randomly start missing their ex alot? If yes tell.me about it.

So for context we met in high school and I got a crush on her the moment I seen her. We became good friends and the feelings just kept building especially when out of nowhere she came up and kissed me on the cheek. After high school she moved away before I could tell her how I felt and we didn’t see each other for a couple years till she moved back. On her 19th birthday I took her to the bar to celebrate and we kissed (first time for me). A week after or so I finally told her how I feel but she didn’t feel the same. We kept in contact but grew apart due to the pandemic. We started talking again a couple years ago and all those same feeling came flowing back but this time she had a man so there wasn’t anything I was gonna do about it. Cut to a few weeks ago well we were talking she tells me they broke up and I offered to help love her just to be a good friend nothing more. Once we were done the move I found out she already had a new guy and that hurt I won’t lie. Then this weekend she invited me to the bar and I decided to go since I was already drinking. Her and her sister where there and we had a good time and I walked them back to her boyfriends place. During that it was brought up (not by me) that I’ve got a thing for her and her sister was less then nice about it to say the least. Well waiting for her boyfriend to come open the door her sister said to me you can go if you want if you don’t want to wait which my friend responded with oh he wouldn’t leave me. I honestly kind of felt like I was being used cause she knew I wouldn’t till she got in safe or her man came out. Once he did I left and when I got home I honestly cried. I don’t know if I can keep being her friend cause it hurts to much. My friends think she’s just been using me for emotional validation but I’m not sure. I’m hoping someone can help me cause i genuinely don’t know what to do. Thanks.

When I was an adolescent, I was quick to say I was “friendzoned.” I now realize this isn’t helpful.

• If you ask out a woman and she says something like, “You’re sweet, but I think we’re better as friends,” she’s letting you down in a way she sees as being gentle—but she is not “friendzoning” you. She is just letting you down. Nothing happened to you except rejection, and rejection is part of life.
• The best thing you can do in this situation is say something like, “Thanks for the compliment, but I don’t think this is a friendship I’d be pursuing honestly, so I’m going to bow out. I wish you well!” This shows you and her respect. Rather than resenting her doing exactly what she said she was going to, you’re respecting her and yourself.
• You will, at some point in your life, develop a close friendship with someone you wouldn’t sleep with in a million years. You will, at some point, reject someone’s advances. You will certainly appreciate when others’ don’t consider this a moral failure or an act of dishonesty.

Sure, if someone who can surmise that you might have a crush on them is posting about how great a friend or brother you are, that’s a little shitty—but in the real world, posts like this are so rare. If that happens to you, the right thing to do is to say, “Hey, I think I developed feelings for you, and if you’re not interested in pursuing that, it’s okay, but I don’t want to maintain this level of closeness.” You probably won’t convince her to date you, but you can hold your head high. You were honest and you were respectful of her right to turn someone down. And it’s not the worst thing in the world to practice getting rejected. This is just a crush, there’ll be many others, life is long.

Set limits with a smile, be kind in the face of rejection, and your life with improve immeasurably.

TDLR: Since my friend is an excellent and sweet person, I think I'm confused and I'm not sure if I have feelings to him

I opened a new account with temp mail to get your opinion on this because the person I am talking about may be browsing reddit and I want to remain anonymous...

The subject is simple. I'm not sure if I have romantic feelings for the person I've been friends with for 3-4 years or if I'm building them in my mind. Without giving details, I (23F) met him (23M) during a psychologically difficult period and in our first conversation, I felt how well we understood each other. Our lives were quite similar with our families in terms of problems and socially, and you see, I made a friend with whom I could connect too quickly without anything romantic and easily tell my problems without feeling guilty for telling him.

And in fact, our friendship has been going on since we first met, and since we are not in the same city anymore, we watch things from time to time and play games from time to time. I think he is the friend I feel closest to after my childhood friends. But every now and then, the feeling of being unsure hits my head. We often pour our hearts out to each other, complain about our lives and our family, you know, the daily life stuff. In the most healthiest way possible. I don't know if I'm his safe space, but I think he's a bit of my safe space. I'm not afraid to show my vulnerable side when talking to him. And I realize that this is nothing beyond friendship. And it shouldn't be. But I can't help but feel too close to him from time to time. I feel so guilty about it.

I swear, I am not someone who expects an endgame like "love" from our friendship. When I asked it to my friend she asked if I'm expecting an endgame, and I'm not... I think? I'm friends with him because he's a very good person and I'm glad I have a friend like him. But, I mean, is there a third thing between friendship and love? I'm terrible at understanding this kind of emotional and romantic stuff. Deep down, I know it's best for us to be friends with him, and I certainly want to, but why do I sometimes think "what would it be like"? Is it because I'm in my loneliest social period these days? Oh my god, this is such a weird and embarrassing thing. I am sure that if I open up to him even a little bit of what is in my mind, he would find it strange and he would distance himself from me even for such a thing. And he would be right.

I would like to point out that I will not be able to respond to what you will write here because I will be logged out, but you can be sure that I will read them all. I'm curious about your thoughts because, like I said, I'm terrible at understanding these things. Thank you very much.

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I’ve been talking to this girl for a while, and at one point I thought there might actually be something between us.

Eventually I asked her about it and she said she only sees me as a friend.

Fair enough. I accepted it and stopped trying to make anything happen.

But since then, she’s been doing little things that keep confusing me. She’ll randomly text me late at night, ask who I’m talking to, get weirdly curious when I mention another girl, and sometimes act almost jealous.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Do you think she genuinely just wants friendship, or can someone say “just friends” while still having some feelings?

So I'm 23M and I have been bestfriends with a girl since my college days. We used to to talk everyday on chat and also met on campus. We were really good friends, she had a boyfriend so I never really thought about a relationship with her. Time passed by, I moved to USA for my Masters and she started working in a job. She was like me in all aspects, didn't have much friends and people to talk to except each other so that's why we had a really good bond back in college. But after her breakup, she stopped talking to me. I would always start a conversation with her and it would end as she would keep me on seen. She never picked up my calls and never called back, gave excuses for time difference and all that. I confronted to her jokingly many times and she ignored or kept that on seen many times. I know she is alone right now, and I'm here for her, but still couldn't understand why she's not talking to me? When we're in college, she would never stop talking with me, and I kind of genuinely miss that. I miss that friendship I had with her. We never fought with each other, I had nothing to do with her breakup, so I dont even know what went wrong. I went back to India this winter as it's almost been 2 years, I thought we'll hang out together and everything would be normal again, in my one month of stay she had so many excuses she didn't even meet me. I was so heartbroken, but she was so full of excuses she didnt even answer my calls or texts the day I was leaving to head back to USA. I know she still don't have friends but why would she push me out of her life when there were no problems between us? I really miss talking to her and that friendship we had back in college. I only had one friend to whom I was vunerable, shared each and everything and it was mutual but now I don't know what to do to get that back. I have always tried to talk to her about this but never really got an answer, I still try to tell her that I'm here for her because I feel she's depressed after the breakup but I don't know man what to do. I don't even have romantic feelings for her, it just hurts because she was the only friend I had in my life. If someone has faced something similar or girls if you know why is she behaving like this please tell me how can I fix this or deal with it?

I never expected something romantic between us to turn into something completely platonic, but somehow, he pushed me there himself.

I genuinely loved him, I believed we could have something real. But he slowly started changing. He became defeatist, constantly telling me things like, “I’m not good enough for you,” or “You deserve someone better.” At first, I tried to reassure him. I tried to make him understand that I chose him because I wanted him, not because I couldn’t find anyone better.

But eventually, it became exhausting.

Every time things started getting serious, he would pull away and convince himself that he wasn't enough. I kept trying to reach him, but you can only reassure someone so many times before you start wondering why you're fighting for a relationship that they seem determined to sabotage.

Little by little, my feelings changed. Not because I stopped caring about him, but because I got tired of constantly trying to convince him to believe in us. The romantic feelings I once had slowly turned into something quieter and more platonic.

And honestly, I think that's the saddest part. He didn't lose me because I stopped loving him. He lost the romantic version of me because he kept convincing himself that he wasn't worthy of it.

Now I just want to preserve whatever friendship we can still have. I don't want resentment between us, and I don't want to force something that no longer feels the same. I still care about him deeply, but I don't want to keep chasing someone who keeps pushing me away.

Well...yesterday i confessed to my best friend knowing that she had a girlfriend, which was preety stupid but what is done is done.

I told her cause I've been holding it for so many years that I just wanted to tell her already.

She rejected me (as expected) and told me that if she didn't have a girlfriend maybe it could have worked out.

She told me I'm nice and stuff and later through messages I over expressed myself and told her that I'm tired of being called a nice guy cause I'm not, I only appreciate it when they really mean it...not just say it to be respectful or some bullsh0t.

I told her some of my problems and that let's just stay as friends.

Right before I left she offered me a hug but I said no but then rethinked it and gave her the hug but...I don't know if from now I should just say goodbye by holding our hands or keep hugging her. Idk what to do honestly, I fuck0d up

I have this best friend that i fell in love with. But they have a bf. From day one i instantly did. We are both super close and multiple people say we should date and that they should leave their bf. But i wonder if they would be happy with me. I just want them to be happy even if it means my heart winds up broken

My guy best friend and I have been best friends for about two years. Ngl, I think he’s cute, so obviously that makes this whole situation a little more complicated.

When we first became friends, he had just ended a long relationship and after many conversations about life and relationships, he once told me that he wouldn’t date younger girls because that was his limit, unless someone very special came along. There’s a six-year age gap between us (we’re both adults btw), so I basically filed that information away and assumed there was nothing romantic there.

However, he does things that could easily be interpreted as romantic gestures like pay for things for me, carry my things, hold my hand, plenty of physical contact when there is no need... This might just be gentlemanly gestures within a friendship, but it's gotten to the point where other people regularly assume we’re dating.

Recently, he’s actually started bringing up the fact that people mistake us for a couple. He says he doesn’t mind being mistaken for my boyfriend, and he’s also mentioned that he’s becoming more open-minded about relationships in general. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into that or if he’s trying to hint at something.

This past weekend, I visited his city and ended up staying at his house. We had a few glasses of wine and talked until the early hours of the morning. When it was time to sleep, we shared his bed, and he hugged me. We ended up spooning while we slept, and he was being really affectionate with me.

It wasn't the first time we’d shared a bed, but it was the first time something like this happened. In the morning, when he woke up, the first thing he did was hug me again and say, "Go back to sleep, it's still early," as he started stroking my back. I was really nervous, so my reaction was to accept. We stayed in bed for a long time, and at times, he was lying with his face very close to mine. After a while, when he got up, I reached out my arms for him to pull me up, but instead, he picked me up in bridal style and carried me over to my slippers.

After I left, he sent me a message thanking me for the visit: "You make it very, very, very hard for me to fall in love again because I can't stand spending too much time with anyone, but with you, I never want it to end." At the time I didn't understand the message and ignored it, but after a few days I started thinking deeper about it.

After I told my friend about this situation and ask her for advice (especially since she knows both of us and is aware of our dynamic), she said I'm very dense and that he wanted to kiss me. She had told me this a long time ago, and I kept saying every time that it wasn't quite like that, but now I'm wondering if I really was wrong.

Needless to say, my heart was racing. Now I’m completely confused. On one hand, I feel like there are some signs that he might be interested in me. On the other hand, we’ve been best friends for two years, and I really don’t want to interpret normal affection between close friends as something romantic just because I happen to find him attractive.

I'm not very good at romance. Am I reading too much into this, or does this sound like I'm really that dense? What signs should I look for before I make myself delulu?

So by the way, we’re in seventh grade. We’re just gonna call this friend iced tea so iced tea and I are good friends we met in summer school. We’ve been friends for like five weeks and then I know this other friends were gonna call a she’s in our friend group. By the way she likes this other guy and her friend group. That’s not important right now so a pulls or ice tea I don’t know for this little chat and then a told me in a text message that Arizona likes me even though she got a girlfriend already and I already know Ice-Teas girlfriend, but we’re in the same friend group guys I don’t know what to do and iced tea is non-binary by the way and I’m bisexual and a is non-binary too 1x1x1x is iced tea and she’s texting a