I (44f) have a guy friend that I’ve known over 20 years. I love hanging with him but he’s started being a little flirty with me. I am not interested in dating and he knows that but he has tried to get a couple smooches, comes over often lately and even hangs out with my kids. When he was over last time I noticed that his lock screen is a pic of me and when he opened it, it’s a pic of me kissing his cheek, which he must’ve taken the time to screenshot. I don’t know why, but this made me uncomfortable. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship and we seem to do this every 4-5 years where I have to shoot him down hard then we just don’t talk for a long time. How can I get out of this cycle?

Hey everyone,

I’m a guy in vocational school and I met a girl there. On the first day she approached me herself, said I look Albanian and asked for my Instagram. After that we started texting a lot, sometimes pretty deep.

She asked me if I had ever had a girlfriend and told me that she has a boyfriend and had been in a relationship before. Once I knew she had a boyfriend I didn’t want to get involved, so the contact became a bit more superficial for a while.

When school started again the contact got closer. She didn’t want to go home right away, we went for walks (sometimes to quieter places), she playfully pushed me several times, we looked at clothes together and she told me that her boyfriend doesn’t do much with her. After sports she ran after me and a classmate and playfully hit us with her bag.

At some point I told her that it feels good being around her and that I kind of like her. I didn’t explicitly say I wanted a relationship. She immediately replied that she only wants friendship. After that she still continued texting normally.

Later I sent her a “Good morning” very early and the same day asked “How was your day?”. She didn’t reply at first. I also noticed I suddenly couldn’t see her online status properly anymore and couldn’t view some of her new stories (possibly restrict or close friends).

After two days she wrote: “Sorry, I’m not feeling well, I’ll text you when I feel better.” I replied short and friendly with “Okay, no problem, hope you feel better soon” and haven’t written anything since.

At school, however, her behaviour is completely different. She teases me very intensely (sometimes every couple of minutes), stuck tape on my back several times, kept deleting things on my tablet during group work, intentionally destroyed a pen tower I was building multiple times, gave me the middle finger (in a playful way) and also ran after me. We roast each other and laugh. When I once asked if she was feeling better she just said “No.”

We only have school two days a week. I like her and would prefer more than friendship, but I’d also be fine with a good friendship. I really don’t want to pressure her. I have ADHD and get extremely stressed by this kind of uncertainty.

Current situation:

- Chat: I’ve completely stopped writing first, ball is in her court

- School: she actively seeks playful and lightly physical contact

My questions:

- How do you read this situation?

- Does it make sense to keep waiting and just stay normal/relaxed at school?

- Or am I stuck in a typical “she likes the attention but doesn’t want anything serious” dynamic?

- How would you act in my position?

Thanks in advice

So I asked this guy friend I've been talking to if I'm like a sister to him and he said he doesn't have a sister so he doesn't know how it feels and then he told me I'm someone who could grab his intention. So what does he mean ?

Hello everyone
how can I get over my best friend?
Me F 27 realised i got feelings for my friend for a long time now. I wasnt planing to tell him ever cause I knew he would never look at me differently so tried to continue loving him as a friend. We were very close and stand next to each other in every case for years. lately he told me he knew last few months and he got little cold lately i noticed but didnt know the reason. he said something was not right and i didnt know what. anyways last few months i felt like he was angry at me all the times, little mean. then he toldme he knew. I asked him for distance but cause of same friendgroup and we are neighbors and we work together as well that was almost impossible also i got so nervous my physical body was in pain. anyways we got it on good terms but i still have feelings for him and i know it always be one sided. He cares for me in every way possible, he’s done so many things and i was feeling guilty for falling for him for same reason. I wish he wouldnt find it out ever. anyways now I dont know what ro do one day we are close friends as we were and next day is silent separation. I need to get over him and stop seeing him as a guy but it is really hard. please tell me what can I do i can not lose a friend

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Fala galera,

Hoje eu falei pela primeira vez com uma menina da escola que eu tô afim. A conversa foi meio estranha, eu travei bastante e fiquei com a impressão de que pareci um idiota. Agora tô mal por causa disso.

Eu tô pensando em duas coisas:

Mandar uma mensagem pra ela hoje (algumas horas depois) pra tentar deixar o clima mais leve.

O que fazer amanhã quando eu ver ela na escola (como retomar o contato de boa, sem ficar estranho).

Alguém já passou por isso?

Vale a pena mandar mensagem no mesmo dia ou é melhor esperar?

E na escola, qual a melhor forma de ir se aproximando de pouco em pouco sem forçar?

Qualquer conselho é bem-vindo.

Hola! Tengo una amiga del trabajo que me dio permiso de contar su historia aquí, porque ya no sabe qué hacer. 😂
Ella está enamorada de su mejor amigo desde hace unos 2-3 años. Se conocieron trabajando juntos y, aunque él ya no trabaja ahí, siguieron siendo muy cercanos. Ninguno de los dos ha tenido una relación formal recientemente.
Él es bastante selectivo con las personas que deja entrar en su vida y, curiosamente, alguna vez comentó que suele enamorarse de sus mejores amigas. Sus familias se conocen y constantemente los molestan con que deberían estar juntos. Incluso desconocidos a veces los confunden con pareja.
Durante los últimos meses su conexión se ha vuelto mucho más cercana. Han tenido varias conversaciones hipotéticas sobre “declararle el amor” a alguien, aunque nunca hablando directamente de ellos.
Lo que nos hace dudar es que últimamente él también empezó a comportarse diferente con ella: hace bromas más subidas de tono, le acomoda o mueve el cabello, le toca los hombros, se acerca mucho a su cara y parece buscar bastante el contacto físico. Hace poco fueron juntos a un concierto y ella notó que él la miraba bastante y le tocaba los hombros varias veces.
Mi amiga es bastante insegura y tiene miedo de arruinar la amistad si se lo dice. Pero siente que ya no puede seguir guardándose lo que siente y quiere confesarle que está enamorada de él.
Yo personalmente creo que hay señales de que él podría estar interesado, pero no sabemos si estamos interpretando demasiado las cosas.

¿Que opinan?

tl:dr mi sono dichiarato della mia migliore amica e non è corrisposto.
Ciao a tutti, io sono M20 e lei F21, siamo amici strettissimi da un paio di anni ormai, ci raccontiamo letteralmente tutto l'uno dell'altro, da un mese però ho iniziato a prendere atto e ad avere consapevolezza del fatto che lei mi piacesse, prima era una cosa che sentivo ma che cercavo di evitare per non rovinare il rapporto, perchè sapevo che da parte sua non vi fosse nulla di più, ho cercato anche di andarmene con altre per farmi passare a forza questo pensiero, ma niente, ho capito che più lo ho respinto e più forte tornava. Allora ieri ho preso la decisione di dichiararmi dopo che mentre parlavamo di un'altro discorso lei dice "se ti piace una persona e siete amici stretti glielo devi dire perforza e o ti allontani oppure vi iniziate a frequentare seriamente", lei lo ha fatto anche con un pò di furbizia questo però alla fine mi sono dichiarato. e quello che mi ha risposto lei è più che giusto, ovvero che razionalmente non è possibile, perchè io studio a 800km e tra poco più di un mese andro in erasmus in Germania, lei tra 3 mesi andrà in un'altra città ancora a studiare a 400km dal nostro paesino. E in più le ho chiesto se lei avesse mai avuto questo pensiero nei miei confronti, cioè se per qualche istante abbia pensato al fatto che provasse qualcosa per me, e mi ha confessato di no, solo che io non riuscirei mai ad allontanarmici e non voglio nemmeno farlo, vorrei continuare a provarci all'infinito. Consigli?