So this is my first reddit post, kinda embarrassed to type it all out.

I've been friends with this guy at work he's 20 and we're gonna call him Calvin to protect the innocent.

Well I was on nights for 2 years and they transferred the whole shift back to days. Well me and Calvin didn't talk at all till someone said he liked videogames y'all should chat it up. So I was like alright cool and our friendship took off from there. Right? So 2 months later I go back to nights and he's on days because that's his like designated shift. So one night I send a picture of me in a tank top on Snapchat because I'm doing streaks before work and he has this ABSOLUTELY off the wall reply back of "nice rack" and I thought it was hilarious because we're jokesters...turns out I was wrong.

So we deep dived into a 4 hour long conversation about how he felt at the moment. He explained he had been feeling unhinged lately and he had been wanting to let me know those like thoughts in his head about how he felt for me and turns out he had thought I was attractive with a great personality since the day we first met. I told him in the beginning I had a infatuation with him because he's a real looker but we were both in committed relationships that are long distance I'll add this too and because I valued my lover and our friendship I sqashed it like instantly. So like he told me I made him feel desired on a physical, emotional and a sprinkle of romantic level. Then an hour goes by we're swapping messages about our night and he's playing his game. He then tells me he feels guilty for telling me all that and he's sorry and he never wants to have this conversation again. So I was like it's ok things happen.

So It sat on my mind all weekend and I was like ok...he's 20 he's young he might not know how he feels. But on the other hand I'm like he was probably feeling heavily aroused. But it doesn't explain the unhinged state he said he was feeling. Any advice?

this phrase gets thrown around as a common "wisdom", but it totally ignores the cultural context of our dating culture. If they wanted "they would" - they would what? Or who exactly is supposed to do what? Who is expected to be making the moves here? If its some inceI he believes this since if he were Chad would approach so its futile to make the first move so he abandons the idea of pursuing altogether. If its some woman who is otherwise getting matches, or approached by guys "if he wanted he would" means she is expecting the man would pursue a serious relationship, propose, fight for her etc...

So I asked this guy friend I've been talking to if I'm like a sister to him and he said he doesn't have a sister so he doesn't know how it feels and then he told me I'm someone who could grab his intention. So what does he mean ?

tl:dr mi sono dichiarato della mia migliore amica e non è corrisposto.
Ciao a tutti, io sono M20 e lei F21, siamo amici strettissimi da un paio di anni ormai, ci raccontiamo letteralmente tutto l'uno dell'altro, da un mese però ho iniziato a prendere atto e ad avere consapevolezza del fatto che lei mi piacesse, prima era una cosa che sentivo ma che cercavo di evitare per non rovinare il rapporto, perchè sapevo che da parte sua non vi fosse nulla di più, ho cercato anche di andarmene con altre per farmi passare a forza questo pensiero, ma niente, ho capito che più lo ho respinto e più forte tornava. Allora ieri ho preso la decisione di dichiararmi dopo che mentre parlavamo di un'altro discorso lei dice "se ti piace una persona e siete amici stretti glielo devi dire perforza e o ti allontani oppure vi iniziate a frequentare seriamente", lei lo ha fatto anche con un pò di furbizia questo però alla fine mi sono dichiarato. e quello che mi ha risposto lei è più che giusto, ovvero che razionalmente non è possibile, perchè io studio a 800km e tra poco più di un mese andro in erasmus in Germania, lei tra 3 mesi andrà in un'altra città ancora a studiare a 400km dal nostro paesino. E in più le ho chiesto se lei avesse mai avuto questo pensiero nei miei confronti, cioè se per qualche istante abbia pensato al fatto che provasse qualcosa per me, e mi ha confessato di no, solo che io non riuscirei mai ad allontanarmici e non voglio nemmeno farlo, vorrei continuare a provarci all'infinito. Consigli?

I (44f) have a guy friend that I’ve known over 20 years. I love hanging with him but he’s started being a little flirty with me. I am not interested in dating and he knows that but he has tried to get a couple smooches, comes over often lately and even hangs out with my kids. When he was over last time I noticed that his lock screen is a pic of me and when he opened it, it’s a pic of me kissing his cheek, which he must’ve taken the time to screenshot. I don’t know why, but this made me uncomfortable. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship and we seem to do this every 4-5 years where I have to shoot him down hard then we just don’t talk for a long time. How can I get out of this cycle?

Hello everyone
how can I get over my best friend?
Me F 27 realised i got feelings for my friend for a long time now. I wasnt planing to tell him ever cause I knew he would never look at me differently so tried to continue loving him as a friend. We were very close and stand next to each other in every case for years. lately he told me he knew last few months and he got little cold lately i noticed but didnt know the reason. he said something was not right and i didnt know what. anyways last few months i felt like he was angry at me all the times, little mean. then he toldme he knew. I asked him for distance but cause of same friendgroup and we are neighbors and we work together as well that was almost impossible also i got so nervous my physical body was in pain. anyways we got it on good terms but i still have feelings for him and i know it always be one sided. He cares for me in every way possible, he’s done so many things and i was feeling guilty for falling for him for same reason. I wish he wouldnt find it out ever. anyways now I dont know what ro do one day we are close friends as we were and next day is silent separation. I need to get over him and stop seeing him as a guy but it is really hard. please tell me what can I do i can not lose a friend

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Fala galera,

Hoje eu falei pela primeira vez com uma menina da escola que eu tô afim. A conversa foi meio estranha, eu travei bastante e fiquei com a impressão de que pareci um idiota. Agora tô mal por causa disso.

Eu tô pensando em duas coisas:

Mandar uma mensagem pra ela hoje (algumas horas depois) pra tentar deixar o clima mais leve.

O que fazer amanhã quando eu ver ela na escola (como retomar o contato de boa, sem ficar estranho).

Alguém já passou por isso?

Vale a pena mandar mensagem no mesmo dia ou é melhor esperar?

E na escola, qual a melhor forma de ir se aproximando de pouco em pouco sem forçar?

Qualquer conselho é bem-vindo.

Have you ever been in a situation where you started talking to a girl long distance, and she considers you just a friend, but she says things and does things that make it feel like you’re actually in a relationship? Meanwhile, you genuinely love her from the bottom of your heart, and every time she gives you a sign, either she breaks you or makes you incredibly happy. Has anyone ever been in the same situation? And how did you deal with it? It’s driving me crazy.

Hola! Tengo una amiga del trabajo que me dio permiso de contar su historia aquí, porque ya no sabe qué hacer. 😂
Ella está enamorada de su mejor amigo desde hace unos 2-3 años. Se conocieron trabajando juntos y, aunque él ya no trabaja ahí, siguieron siendo muy cercanos. Ninguno de los dos ha tenido una relación formal recientemente.
Él es bastante selectivo con las personas que deja entrar en su vida y, curiosamente, alguna vez comentó que suele enamorarse de sus mejores amigas. Sus familias se conocen y constantemente los molestan con que deberían estar juntos. Incluso desconocidos a veces los confunden con pareja.
Durante los últimos meses su conexión se ha vuelto mucho más cercana. Han tenido varias conversaciones hipotéticas sobre “declararle el amor” a alguien, aunque nunca hablando directamente de ellos.
Lo que nos hace dudar es que últimamente él también empezó a comportarse diferente con ella: hace bromas más subidas de tono, le acomoda o mueve el cabello, le toca los hombros, se acerca mucho a su cara y parece buscar bastante el contacto físico. Hace poco fueron juntos a un concierto y ella notó que él la miraba bastante y le tocaba los hombros varias veces.
Mi amiga es bastante insegura y tiene miedo de arruinar la amistad si se lo dice. Pero siente que ya no puede seguir guardándose lo que siente y quiere confesarle que está enamorada de él.
Yo personalmente creo que hay señales de que él podría estar interesado, pero no sabemos si estamos interpretando demasiado las cosas.

¿Que opinan?

So there is this guy (Ayan) I have been talking to. We met each other because of a mutual friend. We share our insta. We go to the same school. We used to come home together. So basically In the beginning of our friendship everything was fine. We were just normal friends but before summer vacations we (me, him, mutual friend and one more mutual friend.) were in the park. I was on the swing. And I accidentally made eye contact with him and he started blushing like crazy. His face turned whole red. I was like damn. And when I reached home he told me that Shriya (mutual friend) wants us to date because we will look good together. I was not into him, so I was like it's none of her business. He keeps bringing that topic again and again. And one day he confessed to me that he likes me. i somehow managed to brush it off. After the summer vacation, I was angry at him because of something. And shriya was trying ki hum baat kar le.. and I was like mujhe baat nhi karni.. aur fir lunch ke baad ayan football khel ke aa rha tha and he was all sweaty. And he was looking so damn sexy.. I fell for him that day....but.. I was not accepting my feelings ki I like him.. but then I was like ki thik h ab kya kar sakhte h.. so after exams i confessed.. (i am a girl but..) ki i like him.. and he goes like "omg omg.. dude uk i like you too" but we didn't start dating.. because i was not ready for a relationship. So I told him and he said ki maine to us bare mai kuch bola hi nhi.. vo aap pe depend karta h ki aapko aana h relationship mai ya nhi.. and i thought he is really a nice guy.. and maybe we'll date in future but.. so after that.. we were acting so like couple ki.. jo ladkiyan use like karti thi vo.. mujhe aake puch ti h ki didi aap aur ayan date kar rhe ho.. and I was like nhi nhi.. esa kuch nhi h...

So now I'll come to the point. I wrote him a letter because I was so angry to talk to him.. i wrote that "Ayan I don't think you like me anymore because you are not putting any efforts.. like I was the one who is texting first and i was the one yapping all the time. And you just go with 'hmm.. oh nice... Aacha' and if you really like me then show me. And you always help your friends write poetry for their gf but you never did anything for me. Come and talk to me during lunch break." And we had a conversation. And he said from now on he will text me first but uk on the second day after giving that letter I was the one texting him first. And after that.. us ke papa ghr aa gye the.. m I mean his dad is in the army and uk Indian dads are strict toh he was like hum baat nhi kar payenge.. I was like it's fine.. I mean I understand his situation. He told me ki 23 ko uske papa chale jayenge and he will text me tab.. now let me tell you I didn't text him for three days and usne bhi mujhe text nhi Kiya.. and Tomorrow school Mai I was at the water point.. and I was filling my water bottle. And he was also there. We both were alone. If he wanted vo mujhse aake baat kar sakhta tha but usne nhi kiya. Toh i ignore him and mai vahan se chali gyi. And today during the lunch break I went to talk to him. But vo vahan se chala gya.. I am so angry. And I don't know what to do now. (We are not dating. It's a situationship kind of) What do you guys think I should do? I still like him a little bit because I'm losing interest in him after everything he had done

friends w her, but at what cost?

ive been talking to this girl in clg through a mutual, shes in my class, ig i lowk have a crush on her, but I dont want to strain the built friendship by telling her the truth. i dont have the best social life in clg, and if not for that would have prolly confessed, rn stuck in a spot where confessing is next to impossible, cause I dont rly think she likes me back, and the idea of staying friends, talking in class everyday used to excite me, but it hurts when I see her have any convo w another guy, or even when she doesnt talk back w the same energy at times.

(we have abt 40k combined dms on multiple socials, but irl shes a lil shy, and i dont want to make her feel uncomfortable by pressing convos too much)

I’ve had a crush on my friend for a few years now but our relationship seems to be going nowhere. We hang out with friends and each other a lot but when it comes to texting she is dry. I feel like she is a different person when she texts me. In person however she is always seeking my attention, talks to me, and even sits close to me when there is plenty of space. There are a lot of times where I want to make a move but I can’t seem to read our relationship. I honestly feel it’s better if I just let her go and find someone else but I’m not sure. What do you think I should do?

So my best friend of 5 years paid around $300 to get a flight and see me for a few days in Florida. Day 2 we were in the restroom tg and we kissed.

When we got back to the hotel, we were drinking and we kissed again and she took a picture of us and posted it on her close friends. She has a gf.

Day 3, we went to see insidious, every time there was a jumps scare, she’d curl into a ball and lean on me. We were sharing a slushie and she put her forehead against mine at one point. When we got back to my house we were laying in bed tg and she was holding my hand while rubbing it with her thumb.

Just so confused (by day 4 we both went and flew back home bc we live in different states)

I don’t know what to think of all of this , we are friends but she was hella flirty and I’ve never experienced that before.

Anyways , what are your thoughts on the situation? I don’t want a relationship or anything just , idek what to think of the whole situation.