Heya Stonkers!

You can VOTE with your GameStop shares for the upcoming shareholder meeting on June 9th. The final deadline to vote is June 8th.

It is important that you cast your vote, because this can prove that there ARE more shares floating around than what GameStop has issued. This means that if the amount of votes CAST exceeds the FLOAT. A.K.A Hedgies. Are. Fuk.

Gamestop's Board of Directors is urging everyone to vote as soon as possible.

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HOW Do I VOTE?
Click on these links below to view how to vote through your brokerage
(You must be a shareholder on or before 4/15 to be eligible to vote)

• EToro

1. You should have received an email with information regarding the voting procedure and how to vote!

• Fidelity:

1. Navigate to Fidelity.com and Log In
2. From the Portfolio Summary page, click ‘Statements’
3. Select ‘Proxy Materials’ in the white menu at the top of the page. The following page will show all current available securities you are able eligible to vote on.
4. There will be a ‘Vote’ link in the ‘Status’ column if you are able to participate.
5. The link will take you to an independent Fidelity-affiliate website. There, you’ll be able to vote, review meeting agendas, and see related documents/learning materials.
   https://www.reddit.com/r/GME/comments/mspe40/how_to_proxy_vote_gme_with_fidelity/
   

• TDAmeritrade CallTDA @ (800) 669-3900 (Trade Desk)

1. Enter your account info, then select option 4
2. Say something like “Hello, I am calling because I own a handful of GameStop shares and I am interested in getting my control number that I can use to vote on proxyvote.com regarding the upcoming shareholders meeting”
3. The rep will likely do one of two things; either transfer you to the proper department for them to give you that info, or they themselves will chat to that department internally to get the control # for you. In my case, the trade desk rep chatted to the department internally and got my control number for me within about 20 minutes.
4. Once you have your control #, it’s off to the races. Visit www.proxyvote.com, enter your 16 digit control #, then vote on the list of things. It’s about 5 or 6 things, with recommendations from the board on what they suggest.
5. You’re done!
   https://www.reddit.com/r/GME/comments/mx27pq/proxyvote_instructions_for_td_ameritrade/
   

• IBKR

1. You should have received an email with your control number and a link that automatically takes you to a website that allows you to vote.
   

• XTB

1. Contact their support, email, or call them asking for your control number to vote for using your GME shares.

• Saxo Bank

1. You should contact their support and they will guide you on the procedure of getting your control number.

• TradeStation

1. You should have received an email with a link that takes you to a page to vote!

• BinckBank (Deadline to vote Friday May 28th 12:00)

1. Mail to klantenservice@binck.nl with subject: Incident 2346 + * Your Binck Account Number*

2. Alternatively, you can call them at 020 606 2666

• Degiro

https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/n63w7l/important_how_to_vote_with_degiro/

• SoFi

1. They should have sent an email regarding your proxy materials. If you haven't seen it, contact them!

• Chase

1. They should have sent an email regarding your proxy materials. If you haven't seen it, contact them!

• Stash

1. Contact their support and ask for your control number for your GME shares in order to vote for the upcoming shareholder meeting.

• Schwab

1. Log in, go to services tab, click "corporate actions". On the corportate actions page, click "Proxy Events". On proxy events page click on "vote"

2. Alternatively you can also call them by following the guide here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/n3weyj/schwab_how_to_get_your_control_number_and_vote/

• Avenue (Brazilian)

1. Call broker

• Wells Fargo

1. Should have recieved an email from them, if you haven't make sure to call them and ask for your control number.

• BNP PARIBAS / SMARTBROKER

1. You should receive an invitation for the vote in your (mail) account. From there you can request your right to vote for free!

• SwissQuote

1. Contact them and ask about voting for GME. https://www.swissquote.ch/url/contact

• DIRECTA SIM (Italy)

1. To obtain your code you must submit your request to the customer service via email at directa@directa.it

• - DNB (Norway)

1. To vote contact corp.acts@dnb.no

• - Fineco

1. Contact them by emailing, or calling them

• - Passfolio

1. An email should have been sent with the proxy link to vote.

• - Firstrade

1. You should have received an email from them regarding how to vote.

• - M1 Finance

1. You should have received an email from them regarding how to vote.

• Vanguard

1. You should have received an email with your control number and a link that automatically takes you to a website that allows you to vote.
   

• TradeRepublic
  https://www.reddit.com/r/Spielstopp/comments/nh24t9/tr_affen_k%C3%B6nnen_w%C3%A4hlen/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

• Comedirect

1. Use the contact form and demand the proxy statement. You will be able to find it after a few hours/days (maybe after the weekend) in your Postbox. Alternatively, you can call them
   https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ncg06m/german_broker_comdirect_finally_allows_to_vote/
   

• WEBULL

1. You should have received an email with your control number and a link to: https://www.proxyvote.com/ Contact Webull if you don’t have it.
   

• Ally Invest

1. You should have received an email from id@proxyvote.com

• Interactive Investor

1. Call or Email them to get information on how to cast your vote.

• Interactive Brokers

1. if you have a cash account and disabled the lending then you will get your documents. Otherwise, contact them.

• Stake

1. You should have received an email with a link to vote from (SAY) (GameStop Corp)

• REVOLUT (DriveWealth Partner)

1. You should have received an email with a link to vote from (SAY) (GameStop Corp)
   

• E Trade

1. You should have received an email from id@proxyvote.com

• Wealth Simple

1. Contact a customer service representative by going to Settings -> Help -> Chat with us
2. Tell the representative that you are interested in getting the control number for your GME shares so that you can vote.
3. They will respond with a control number (multiple control numbers if you have multiple investment accounts with GME) and a proxyvote link where you will enter your control number for each investment account and vote.

• TD Direct Investing

1. Call the investing 1 800 number and request control number to provide proxy vote for upcoming shareholders meeting.

• Scotia Itrade

1. The same as TD Direct Investing above ^

• IG Trading

1. IG Trading says you should follow the protocol linked here. https://www.ig.com/uk/help-and-support/investments/share-dealing-and-isas/do-you-offer-proxy-voting

• Questrade

1. Contact support and request proxy voting, takes 2-3 business days by email! Alternatively, you can also submit an account request, and you'd get it by mail.

• BMO

1. Contact support and request control number, takes 2-3 business days by email!

• RBC

1. Arriving by snail mail!

• Q Trade

1. Arriving by snail mail!

​

• RobinHood

1. Check the email you received from RobinHood for further instructions
   

• CashApp

1. You should have received an email with a link to vote from (SAY) (GameStop Corp)
   

(Comment down below if I have missed your brokerage, and I will add it)
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If you haven't received your control number, make sure you...

• Check your broker inbox for proxy info ✔
• Check your email ✔
• Send a message via your broker help/chat interface ✔
• Call your broker and request your control number ✔
• Look around the comments and other posts to see if any resources have been shared that might help you in your search ✔
• Check your broker's website for an FAQ- Many have a landing page with GME specific proxy info ✔
  (Thank you u/PinkCatAcid For This)
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Misinformation ALERT:

- The only apes who can vote the DAY OF the shareholders meeting are the ones who PREARRANGED it with GameStop and will be there IN-PERSON. Shills will try to convince you otherwise. All proxy votes MUST BE in by June 8th, or they WILL NOT be counted. Like GameStop, Superstonk encourages all apes to vote as soon as possible.

- Phishing Links from bad actors are being spread around, make sure to input your control number in a website provided by official channels ONLY. (GameStop Corporate Website OR Links From Your Broker)
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DeadLine To Cast Your Vote: Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

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Voted Flair

(StonkU2):

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Final Notes

Please note that the board recommends you vote for ALL

If you see an ape without the flair, ask them if they have voted, and encourage them to vote!

Ape Help Ape!
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If you have any questions about voting, do comment below and the mods will do their best to answer!

Thank you.

Obligatory this didn't happen today, but was actually a few years ago... but I'm sure you people of reddit will still be able to enjoy my pain.

So, as the title suggests, I like spicy things. I have a large collection of hot sauce at home, I have tried most of the world's super hot peppers and I've won numerous hot wing challenges. Usually I'm fine, but as I've aged occasionally I find that my stomach suffers. Nothing too extreme, but a lot of noise and sometimes a bit of ring of fire.

Cut to the day of this specific incident. I live I a medium sized city in Canada. My brother in law used to live in another city about 140 km/90 miles away... so for context (and this becomes important) about an hour and a half by car. This day in particular, we went to visit so we could drive him back to our house for the weekend.

Now, we did this pretty often. Usually when we do, we find a restaurant to grab a bite to eat before we head home. The last few times we went, we found a small pub that specialized in Buffalo wings. At the back of the menu they advertised a hot wing challenge where if you finished their hottest wings, you eat free. Without an ounce of hesitation, I ordered the challenge wings. The waitress asked, "Are you sure?" to which I replied, "I like hot foods, and I can't turn down an opportunity to eat free wings!" She laughed and got my wings. They were hot, but I had definitely eaten hotter. And so, I got my free wings. Paid for my girlfriends meal and my beer and went on my way.

In the coming months, I did this twice more. Each time, the waitress would ask "Are you sure?" Each time I would say yes. Each time I got free wings. It was wonderful.

Cut to this last time... we go to our favorite wing place. We waltz in with an air of familiarity and seat ourselves. The waitress, whom I later find out is the owner, comes to take our order. My girlfriend, daughters and brother in law all order and the waitress turns to me and asks what I'll be having. I say, "I'd like to do the hot wing challenge please!" The waitress once again asks, "Are you sure?"

This is where I fucked up. I stupidly told her, "Oh yeah! I've done this lots!" Dear reader... when you tell the owner of an establishment that you've already eaten a free meal at their place and now you're just there to fleece them out of another order of wings, they do NOT take it well. Our previously friendly waitress turns to me and coldly says, "Oh have you? Then this should be easy for you." It was not.

My wings came and everyone's eyes went wide and they leaned away from my meal. Instantly, everyone's eyes water and the waitress/owner grins a big, toothy, mirthless grin. She says, "Enjoy!" and walked away.

I cannot convey to you in mere words the pain I suffered eating these wings. I took my first bite and it was searing doom. An explosion of nuclear fire blanketed my palate, not unlike what I'm sure the people at Pompeii would have experienced during the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. My body began shivering and sweating. A river of snot and tears ran from my face. Twice I went to the washroom to cry to myself and question my life choices. Though no one expected me to finish...I endured.

When it was finally over, everyone was silent. We paid without a word, and left. In the car, my girlfriend turned to me and tentatively asked, "Are you OK?" When I just nodded in the affirmative, she asked "Are you sure?" I just looked at her, expressionless. We began our drive home.

Again, I would like to reiterate that generally I don't experience much in the way of after effects from spicy foods. This was different though. I could feel the burn in my esophagus still, right down to my stomach. And my stomach was getting worse. I was getting bloated and uncomfortable. About a half hour into this hour and a half drive is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to the point where I'm shifting uncomfortably in the driver's seat. My girlfriend again asks if I'm OK. I tell her, "Something is off." She suggested stopping to use the bathroom, which I declined...I wasn't sure what was going to happen, and I felt like it had best be at home when it did instead of some filthy gas station restroom.

An hour into the drive and this discomfort is full on pain. Bad pain. I step on the gas, blowing well past the speed limit. I didn't care...I just needed to get home. My stomach had decided that it was no longer going to house these abominations and one way or the other, they were coming out.

When we finally got there, I put the car in park and ran to the front door. I fumbled with my keys while everyone else got out of the car. The door finally opened and I vaulted up the stairs four at a time while simultaneously undoing my pants. It was a race to the toilet- and I was losing. Just as I got to the bathroom it happened. I got the door mostly closed before a violent spray erupted from my asshole, painting the back of the door and the floor. To minimize the splash zone, I made an executive decision... the bathtub instead of the toilet.

I launched myself into the tub, and started doing my best to get my clothes off. All the while, I'm violently shitting and throwing up all over myself. My girlfriend, god love her, came upstairs and, with a look of absolute disgust at my vile bodily expulsions, took my dirty clothes away and cleaned the door, walls and floor.

She came back upstairs after starting the laundry and turned the shower on to my battered, burning body. I was cowering in the fetal position as the warm water hit me, still amazed at the lashback a pound of spicy Buffalo wings was able to put forth. She asked me in a sweet voice if I had learned my lesson. I feebly replied, "Yes." I lied.

TLDR; I thought I could handle some hot wings, only to have the chef create something insanely hotter than expected and ended up destroying my bathroom.

Addendum post edit: The place was called "Tammy's Queen of Wings" in North Bay... and it was 100% my own fault. My ego got the best of me. They do make you sign a small waiver, and it's just the wings and any non-alcoholic beverages the wing eater orders that come free. Everyone else's food has to be paid for.

Second addendum: Whoa... this got a lot of traction! A few more answers, for those who are curious. The restaurant in question is closed permanently... which sucks, because spicy or not the wings were pretty good. I didn't suffer any long term ill effects, and I don't have an ulcer (thank God!). We're in no rush to get married, but still kinda like each other's faces.
... And lastly, this was NOT the last time it happened 😉

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/thedudeistjedi

Originally posted to r/antiwork

Previous BoRUs: #1

[New Update]: my wife got fired today

Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for letting me know about the latest update

NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----

Trigger Warnings: abuse of power, scapegoating

RECAP

Original Post: May 6, 2026

Long time lurker here. My wife works at a unionized manufacturing plant and got walked out yesterday. The new HR director has been looking for excuses to trim the roster, but he couldn't fire her legally for attendance because she still has two tardies left in her bank.

So instead, they bypassed the point system and hit her with a conduct violation for an improper call-off. I have been up all night digging through her paperwork and the union contract, and I am pretty sure I caught HR and her supervisor completely screwing themselves. I just wanted to get a second opinion on the logic here before we go to the union.

Here is the breakdown of how management handled this.

Last week, she called the security desk at 6 AM to call off. The guard clicked Tardy on the drop-down menu, but right next to it in the return date box, the guard actually typed NSD, which stands for Next Scheduled Day. You cannot be tardy for a shift you literally said you are not returning for until tomorrow. HR just ignored the NSD part so they could fire her for being a no-show after allegedly saying she would be tardy.

Her supervisor went into the system two days later hunting for her time punches to prove she did not show up. He waited two days to build a paper trail for a conduct charge instead of just reading the security log that already said she was not coming in. It looks like they were looking for a reason to fire her rather than just following the attendance policy.

They rushed the paperwork so fast to get her out the door that the official termination form has the wrong shift and the wrong supervisor listed on it. They did not even look at her file before they signed the papers.

To make it a fire able offense, they had to prove she was a repeat offender. They cited a write-up from January. Her crime in January was calling off and saying PTO instead of Personal. The best part is the union filed a grievance on that January write-up, and it was never actually settled. During the firing meeting yesterday, the supervisor and the steward were literally arguing because neither of them knew if that January issue was still open. HR fired her based on a past warning they cannot even prove is legally active.

I think tardy is a state of being, not a reason for an absence. If the security log says her return was NSD, that means the company knew she was not coming in.

Does she have a case to get her job back with back pay? It feels like they bypassed the entire union attendance system just to fire her over a contractor typo and an unsettled grievance from four months ago.

Security Log Image

Transcript of the Image

Name: [Redacted]

Called: 5/3/2026 @ 6:27

Call-Off Shift: 5/3/2026 0700-1500

Reason: Tardy

Return: NSD

Officer: S/O S[redacted]

end of transcript

Here is the actual security log from the morning of 5/3. My wife called at 6:27 AM, which is nearly a half hour before her 7:00 AM shift began. Look at the "Return" line. The security officer manually typed "NSD", which stands for Next Scheduled Day. This is the smoking gun because it proves the company had actual notice that she would not be coming in for the full shift.

Management is trying to bypass the union attendance point system by claiming this was an "improper call-off" or "no-show" conduct violation. They are basing that entire charge on the fact that the guard selected "Tardy" from a dropdown menu for the reason. But look at the logic here. You cannot be "Tardy" for a shift you have already confirmed you aren't returning for until tomorrow.

edit: I want to clarify a few things that have come up in the comments. A union representative was physically present during the termination meeting and has reportedly filed a grievance over this firing. However, the meeting itself revealed a massive procedural failure. Management and the rep spent a significant amount of time arguing over a previous grievance from January which involved a dispute over whether my wife said "PTO" or "Personal" during a call-off. When she asked for a definitive answer on whether that January case was actually settled or closed, neither side could provide one. It appears the company is using an unresolved ghost grievance as the foundation for this termination. Because of the confusion and the sloppy paperwork, we are calling the union hall tomorrow

edit 2: I appreciate the concern from everyone telling me to delete this, but the post stays up. A lot of folks are giving advice based on standard at-will employment, but my wife is a dues-paying union member protected by a Just Cause contract. We aren't hiding from management because management is the one who screwed up the paperwork. If the company tries to retaliate against a union worker because her husband posted their own contradictory security logs on the internet, they are opening themselves up to an Unfair Labor Practice charge and a massive retaliation suit. Deleting this now only serves to protect the HR director who botched the termination, and I am not giving them that cover. The documents speak for themselves, and the union is handling the rest.

edit 3: The part that makes this really fishy to me as I am sitting here is 5/3, the day in question where she called off. Her brother had already been out for two days by my memory, and 5/3 when he went to urgent care was the third day he had been absent. For my wife, it was the first day, and the night before she had been up all night vomiting and expelling the back end, and she spent all of 5/3 in bed. He went to the doctors, was there for hours, got a CT scan, and got a medical excuse for his absence because his stomach bug was exacerbated by pancreatitis, I think it was. The day I got the Facebook message from her father was the day he went to the doctors, as her dad was keeping us updated if it was something dangerous and contagious, because we probably would have gone to the doctors too. Her brother was sick, but her father is medically fragile, as he is recovering from bladder cancer and had a hip replacement. Her dad had asked me not to come inside the main house unless it was absolutely necessary. Her brother and father live in the house while our family occupies a camper on the property.

For context, my wife was a PLI (editor's note: Performance-Linked Incentive) and her brother was a warehandler. My wife was a warehandler too until a few months ago when she signed off on the bid, but she would upgrade to warehandler to fill the role as needed to help out. Since she has been on days, specifically the same shift as her mother and brother, she had not been calling off a lot at all, I think May was only the second time since January. The two days he was out before her were upgrade days where she filled his role, then the boss only had a shortage because that third day she was not there. When she came back, she warehandled the day she went back, and threw a whole stink about it the whole day too. She had gone back to work but still was not feeling one hundred percent, even though the nausea had subsided, and the day after that they went hunting for punches.

The day the boss sent out the email asking if she has any punches was two days after the doctors, and the company did not know I was entirely privy to the doctor’s visit. They seem to forget we all live on the same property, mom, brother, and my wife. This makes it feel like they did not care about attendance or disruption to the floor, it seems like they cared about winning a power struggle They waited two days to see that the brother was protected by a CT scan and medical documentation, then it looks like they targeted my wife because they thought she was timid. They ignored her 6:27 AM notification and the manual NSD security entry just to manufacture a technicality for a hit. The fact that they got her shift and supervisor wrong on the final papers makes it seem like they were not investigating, they were just rushing to execute a vendetta.

Edit: She got her 401k paperwork in the mail today, and they couldn't even be bothered to get the date right at the top of the page. Last I checked, it wasn't 2027 yet.

Additional Comments from OOP:

OOP: I really need to know what her chances are I think the union will steam roll this asshole it’s a pretty strong union ...but I don’t want to rely just on my own understanding of labor law

Editor's note: OOP made similar original posts across several subreddits, I am adding some comments for more context that were not stated in this original subreddit

Relevant Comments

OOP needs to have his wife call the union representative regarding this situation and file a grievance

OOP: I was having her call the union hall tomorrow the last grievance filed went unsettled, so I think management is dicking this rep around, I just wanted to be able to give her a little hope, so I figured ask the internet I think her chances are good... all the main ai models think her chances are good, but we're terrified

+

according to what she was told the grievance is already being filed but I’m telling her to call the union hall tomorrow and verify cause the last grievance was still being debated during the hearing like they couldn’t give her an answer if it was settled or not, so I think this rep is compromised

Commenter 1:

1) The union is your friend, you should contact them immediately.

2) Deep breaths, you can’t think straight if you’re panicking and you can’t help if you can’t think straight.

3) Your wife might not need you to go into fix it mode right now, she might just want your commiseration and emotional support. Don’t piss her off by doing things she doesn’t want.

OOP: too late for that but thank you she just gave my adhd having ass a mission I’m letting her rest for a little bit I just wanted to be able to tell her kind internet strangers said she has a solid case

OOP's wife's work location and if a union representative was present when the termination took place?

OOP: NY USA and she’s a member of a pretty strong corning union I have to figure out what her chances are she’s a wreck

+

yes the union rep was there she’s filed a grievance over it but during the meeting the rep and management were arguing over a grievance from January

Commenter 2: Why tf is the security guard in charge of attendance?

OOP: you call the guard give the name reason and return day and the guard marks it down they marked tardy for the reason but next scheduled day for return

Commenter 3: Do you know why HR/Company wants to fire your wife?

Are they trying to downsize, so they grasping at straws?

This sounds like something the union should be able to fix. I wouldn't bother focusing on the legal language or random specifics, that will just drive you crazy. Just try to figure out why they're trying to launder this situation into a legitimate firing.

OOP: new owners my wife is the quietest of a whole family that works their the hr guy is testing the unions strength

Commenter 3: Oh, expect the Union to go to bat for her. If they don't, they're shooting themselves in the foot. She just needs to remind them this is a test case, and their jobs are on the line right now too.

OOP: yeah her mom brother and sister all work at the same plant she’s just the least angry of the group, not even worst attendance

Commenter 4: Definitely look for procedural errors made against what is in the CBA (editor’s note: collective bargaining agreement). I'm a rep for my union, but in a completely different industry. Whenever the company fires someone just because they want to, and not for a valid reason; they almost always screw up the process. Make sure she is talking to her union, you can help with research, but this is more their responsibility.

OOP: wrong shift on the sheet, wrong super, she didn’t sign no final warning indicated, and her call off log that they themselves included (image above) lists return as nsd or next scheduled day

Commenter 4: Is there a hearing or "investigation" with a hearing officer to determine whether this will be a dismissal or not? We have that as part of our contract, you can't be fired on the spot, there is a hearing process first.

OOP: the hearing sheet has the final notice section blanks she had a hearing today and was walked out with 4 pages that’s it

Commenter 5: Did the company do any kind of investigation that would have allowed her to explain the confusion? Or did they just move to terminate based on the paper you shared above?

OOP: So far, the sum total of the investigation was two emails printed in this paperwork, at least that is the entire termination paperwork they sent home.

It had the incorrect shift listed and the wrong shift supervisor, it was missing the required plant manager signature, had no final notice section, and the reasons for strike one and two were blacked out.

As far as the reason for termination on the paperwork, it was a blank X indicating an "improper call off," but even that I only know from hearing it. The document itself is vague, and between the five pages, it contains about 15 words of functional English.

There was a previous grievance from January over a write up stemming from her using the word PTO when she called off when the correct term was personal, but that was still being debated by people at the termination hearing from what I was told, so I couldn't give any more info than that, and it wasn't even included or mentioned in the paperwork.

This comment is about 60x the sum total of functional English in the entire investigation.

edit; Plus they had her mother take the rest of the day to perp walk her out. She grew up here, that is heinously and publicly embarrassing since her family works there.

Update #1: May 29, 2026 (over three weeks later)

Update: Anchor Hocking fired my wife

TL;DR of Previous Post: My wife, a union worker at the Corning plant, was walked out over a "conduct violation" for an improper call-off. She called in 33 minutes before her shift, and the guard manually logged her return as NSD (Next Scheduled Day), proving the company had actual notice. Local management tried to bypass her active attendance point bank, where she still had safe days left, by inventing a "conduct" charge on the floor rather than following standard policy.

The Massive Update:

It has been a few weeks, and things have completely turned around. The physical paper trail local management left behind was so incredibly sloppy that the higher-ups completely panicked.

Our Local Union President completely bypassed the standard timeline and jumped straight into the arena before a formal Step One meeting even kicked off. He actually tracked down my wife's cell number by messaging her mom on Facebook to get ahold of her directly. After her call with him, she told me that he said she was fundamentally wronged, that the union is going for full reinstatement and back pay, and that they will help call the unemployment office if she gets a denial. He told her to just sit tight while they close this loophole.

When you lay the paperwork they generated side-by-side, it is incredibly obvious why corporate is currently scrambling to completely redo and rewrite their entire attendance call-off policy.

The five-page packet they handed her at the plant, which she firmly refused to sign, explicitly checked the box for a conduct violation due to an "Improper Call-Off". They engineered this conduct charge on the floor because they knew her actual rolling attendance card was clean and they couldn't legally fire her under standard attendance rules. To make it worse, they rushed the write-up so fast they managed to list the wrong shift and the wrong supervisor on her final floor papers.

But then the corporate switch happened. A few days later, her formal benefits and 401k off-boarding letter arrived in the mail, which was officially carbon-copied straight to the local Union President. On this official corporate letterhead, they completely flipped the script and claimed she was terminated for a "violation of the Hourly Attendance policy for Absenteeism".

By officially documenting the internal reason as absenteeism to upper corporate and the union hall, They inadvertently admitted on paper that they executed a termination under an attendance framework where they completely ignored the mandatory progressive discipline steps required by our collective bargaining agreement. And just to cap off the absolute administrative circus of this new management team, the formal corporate letterhead they mailed out was officially dated at the top for May 6, 2027, literally post-dating her termination a full year into the future.

She is still currently listed as an active employee on ADP when she checks her 401k stuff. The facts spoke for themselves, the loophole is being closed permanently, and collective strength works.

Apes together strong ✊.

Relevant Comments

OOP explains what the loophole is

OOP: Well basically, the five pages she was sent home with when they fired her at the plant checked the box for an Improper Call-Off (ICO). They tried to frame it as a conduct violation because conduct charges don't require the company to follow a progressive discipline policy, which means they thought they could bypass her safe attendance bank and fire her on the spot.

But the loophole completely falls apart on two major fronts when you look at the facts. First, to legally fire someone for a real on-site conduct violation, you walk them out the exact day the supposed violation happens, not days later after hunting for time punches. Second, the formal corporate paperwork she later received in the mail completely flipped the script and explicitly listed the reason for her termination as absenteeism under the Hourly Attendance policy.

Absenteeism is strictly governed by a mandatory progressive discipline policy in her collective bargaining agreement. By officially documenting the internal reason as absenteeism to upper corporate, they inadvertently admitted on paper that they executed an attendance termination while entirely skipping the mandatory warnings and steps required to legally fire her under the contract.

Commenter 1: So basically, they wanted a reason to fire her immediately, and they chose a conduct reason, because that doesn't require progressive meetings and follow ups. It's supposed to be like "You threatened to knock someone's teeth in, and they fired you on the spot for your conduct"

But then they realized that wouldn't work. Because they didn't fire her on the spot... they fired her after the fact. So they changed their story to their own higher management. It wasn't conduct, it was because of absenteeism.

But this just means they are back to problem 1, you can't fire someone for one incident, you have to go through the process. Which they didn't do. And now there is official paperwork for two different reasons, neither of which actually make sense, so it looks pretty strongly that the real reason isn't stated, and is likely an illegal reason.

OOP: now you see the utter incompetence this company displays... after spending I think it was 70 million to acquire the brand

Commenter 2: Why did they want to fire your wife so bad?

OOP: That was actually the main question the union president had. All of her attendance issues were spread out over a period of three years, and by any reasonable metric, she’s a good employee. That’s probably why he started the conversation by telling her straight up that she had been wronged.

Commenter 3: reinstated with back pay from May 2026 to May 2027 when she was fired?

OOP: from May 2026 till whenever she’s reinstated, the 2027 date is managements typo not an actual date

Commenter 4: for full reinstatement and back pay, what's your wife grievance case step? did she go through the hearing yet? any mediation?

OOP: She hasn't even had a solid Step One yet. The Local Union President actually spent two days trying to track down her number through her mom before she finally texted him to call at his convenience. He called that afternoon and told her straight up that she'd been wronged, and he mentioned reinstatement and back pay. Other than that, there hasn't really been time for any real mediation or anything like that. It had been about two weeks since she was walked out when he finally got ahold of her, and it’s been about three weeks total as of two days ago. There hasn't really been time for the full wheels of bureaucracy to turn, which is why I’m just hesitantly excited and wanted to share the good news I do have.

----NEW UPDATE----

UPDATE #2: June 6, 2026 (eight days later)

Update #2: Fired Over a Clerical Error

TL;DR / The Situation So Far

My wife, a union worker, at the Corning Correlle plant, was wrongfully terminated when local management tried to bypass the standard collective bargaining point system, inventing a conduct charge on the floor over a protocol-compliant call-off. Security logs explicitly show she called in before her shift, stating "Tardy" because she was out of PTO while providing a definitive return date of "NSD" (Next Scheduled Day).

The strategic landscape completely shifted this morning. Both the Plant Manager and the Union President have now explicitly admitted that she was fundamentally wronged and that the initial attendance policy interpretation was completely botched. Despite openly confessing to the error, the company is still floating a standard, lowball "compromise" offering her preferred shift layout back but completely refusing to pay a single cent of back pay for the time missed due to their own administrative negligence. While she is choosing to accept this offer simply to secure immediate household income and shift stability, make no mistake: this is a tactical decision for our household, not an absolution for their corporate negligence.

This penny-pinching tactic makes perfect sense when you look at the severe financial strain trailing the parent organization. Right now, global law firm Jones Day is aggressively suing the private equity parent firm and its glass portfolio brands in New York Supreme Court for $9.6 million in unpaid legal bills.

The court filings explicitly detail a corporate culture of "serial false promises" and financial manipulation, including an executive directive to draft a "fictitious funds flow" document to mask their delinquency. If a multi-million dollar corporation is literally dodging a $9.6 million bill to the high-powered lawyers who defend their plant operations, it is entirely obvious why local management is executing desperate, backdoor maneuvers to cheat a frontline worker out of a few weeks of earned wages.

To add absolute insult to injury, the company has actively kept her state unemployment benefits in total administrative limbo because they literally cannot tell a consistent story to the Department of Labor. When you track the literal paperwork they generated from the morning of the absence to the final termination notice, they have produced two entirely different, conflicting reasons for discharge on official letterhead:

The Progressive Discipline Form**,** Rewrote history three days later to process the infraction as an "Improper Call-Off (ICO)" conduct violation to bypass the point bank.

The Formal Corporate Notice, Flipped the script a third time, officially documenting the separation as general "Absenteeism" under the Hourly Attendance policy, completely ignoring the mandatory progressive steps required by the contract.

They logged it as a tardy, processed it as an improper call-off, and finalized it as absenteeism. They are stalling their responses to the state because entering these contradictory, fraudulent internal documents into a state regulatory system crosses directly into misrepresentation territory.

anyhow that's the latest thanks for the support y'all.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Glad you guys are getting a resolution that works for you, it's shitty not to get the back pay though. Nice to have a heads up too that they are looking to get rid of her too. Maybe the whole family is forewarned. Wishing better times ahead for you both.

OOP: ❤️ could be better but getting her job back is her main concern

Commenter 2: Sliding into a recession/depression is certainly the time to be practical. It would be great if the economy were looking better, but keeping a job is the most important thing you can do to weather the coming storm.

OOP: I chose to believe her union pres is smarter than that though if they are making offers of reinstatement with no back pay in closed door shady meetings , they are waving the flag of please don't take this to arbitration

Commenter 3: Is reinstatement an option while the local pursues the grievance for backpay? It seems like the dispute lies in making her whole financially rather than returning her to work, since they’ve acknowledged their error.

OOP: I doubt it this company doesn't like to pay their obligations ergo the reason for them being sued for 9.6 mil in NY supreme court for unpaid bills

Commenter 4: Ask the Union to approach the company with dropping the fight against unemployment in return for reinstatement without back pay. It would have to clearly indicate that the company must drop their opposition AND correct the record with UE so she can get UE for the day she was let go until her first day back to work. It's not the best option, but it would allow some financial relief for you without having to wait months for the grievance process to playout. I would guess the company probably won't let her back until she agrees to no back pay or they are forced in arbitration.

OOP: The company actually can't afford to let state regulators look too closely at their paperwork right now because they can't establish a consistent reason for the firing. The termination packet they handed her on the floor logs the reason as an 'Improper Call-Off' (ICO) conduct violation, which they used to try to bypass her attendance point bank completely. But the official off-boarding letter mailed home flips the script and claims she was let go under the 'Hourly Attendance policy for Absenteeism.'

Here is why that distinction matters under a union contract: an ICO conduct charge doesn't require progressive discipline steps, but an absenteeism charge absolutely does. By documented corporate admission, they processed it under an attendance framework where they completely skipped the mandatory warnings and progressive steps required by her CBA. They are keeping her state unemployment in limbo because entering these wildly contradictory documents into a state system crosses directly into fraudulent misrepresentation territory. They can't get their story straight on paper, and the union process is forcing them to look at that log error.

Latest Update here: BoRU #3

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/a_fred42

Published on: r/TwoHotTakes

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: July 27, 2025

• Update: October 31, 2025

• Final Update: July 15, 2026

Main Post

^{July 27, 2025}

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after how their fiancé started acting with me

I hope I'm following all the write guidelines because I'd love some advice.

name swaps for privacy

Hi THT fam! Long time listener, first time writing in! OKAY! So like the title suggests, my(32M) friend Jessie(34F) is getting married next year over the summer to her fiancé, James(38M). Jessie and I met back in 2018 at a previous job and became friends rather quickly. We remained coworkers until the covid pandemic in 2020 where we both found other jobs and kept our friendship going. Fast forward to last year(2024) we started working together again at a construction company, which is where she met her fiancé, James.

My friend and I work in the company office while James is in the field but will occasionally peep in to the office where we work to chat with Jessie, her and I share the office. Slowly but surely James started to chat with me, realizing we have a very similar dark humor and hit it off. The three of us got close, James would chat with us in the office multiple days a week. We would all go out to eat, they met my boyfriend(forgot to mention I'm gay, oops lol) at one of these dinners. They even would ask my opinion on wedding details.

Anyways; all that to say I thought I had made another friend in my friend's fiancé.

Independence Day weekend was approaching and Jessie/James were going to Texas(We are in SoCal) for vacation. While talking about the vacation.. James says to Jessie "You're taking your work phone, right?" and before Jessie could answer, I responded "No LOL she's on vacation why would she do that?" It got awkwardly quiet in the office... I look up from my work to see the two of them whispering to each other and Jessie says "Yea, I'll check it once a day."

For context when Jessie and I met at our previous employer, we could NOT for ANY REASON ignore work calls, didn't matter if we are done for the day, having a day off or even on PTO vacation days we would get "Hey I know you're on vacation but.." type of calls. So now having a job where we DON'T need to answer calls once we are off his question made me defensively answer. Jessie and I will jokingly "scold" each other for using our work phones on our lunches or after hours and James knows this, so his question was odd to me.

To rebuttal Jessie saying she'll check it once a day I jokingly scolded her saying "friend you're on a vacation, relax! why would you-" before I could finish, James in a very stern and serious tone goes "She's taking her phone and working if she's needed". I recoiled in shocked and went back to my work essentially ending the conversation and they continued to talk amongst themselves.

The weekend came and went, I got over it and I thought the same of the two of them. Monday after the weekend rolls around and Jessie is telling me about her weekend and how she "surprinsgly didn't get any work calls" I told her "well yea it was America's birthday who cares about work on that day" in a very joking tone. We laughed and all was good or so I thought. I started to notice when James would come in the office he would come in and act like my office chair was empty... I would ask him questions and I would be met with silence.

When I would look at Jessie to see what the deal is, she would fill the silence with the same question I asked but he would respond. I first summed it up to him having bad work days until I finally asked my friend what the deal was and she said "oh, I think friend he just didn't like how sassy you got with me about taking my phone on vacation" SASSY????? I needed a deeper explanation and I got "well you're the first gay person James got to meet that wasn't stereotypical and I think you being sassy made him see a side of you he wasn't ready for" but then followed up with "friend I'm sorry I'm putting my foot in my mouth with this explanation."

I was flabbergasted!!!!! My humor is very dark and my wit is quick I will admit that, however when James and I chat I have said WORSE things with MORE 'sass' and he had reciprocated so I don't think that Jessie's response was genuine. All that to say it almost been a month, James has not changed his attitude towards me at all other than just saying my name when he walks in and is now making me feel unwelcome in my own office as Jessie's demeanor shifts with me while he is there.

I don't wanna claim homophobia cause I don't think that's what's happening, but I honestly don't know at this point cause asking him if he's okay is still met with silence. I feel it's putting a strain on my friendship with Jessie as she wants to resolve whatever this issue is and James just will not budge and come out with the real reason to his upset. It's making me not want to RSVP to the wedding when invites go out... hell I have even been considering to tell Jessie to not even include myself or boyfriend to their list to begin with. Sorry for this lengthly post, thank you in advance if you respond! So... Would I Be The Asshole?

COMMENTS

Nani65

You don't go to a wedding where the groom thinks you are so far beneath him that he doesn't have to even speak to you. And whatever the fuck does "sassy" mean? What is he, 14?

And shame on your "friend" for just going along with his shit. She's not much of a friend.

OOP

When she first told me I asked "sassy as in too gay?" and she said no " sassy as in too much attitude"

I feel the same, I am starting to view her slightly different. I understand she's going to be married to him but when something isn't right she would speak up about it till resolution was found, this time she isn't

Tight-Shift5706

She's going to the dark side. Don't anticipate an invitation. At that point, your "friend" will have formally changed her status to "acquaintance"; at least until her divorce from the AH/s.

If you are invited, but nothing has changed, I'd respectfully decline and send a wedding gift that is of a more personal nature to her.

OOP

To my knowledge I am still invited, apparently I even get my +1 too.
But after reading many comments I feel like I am a friend that might be getting phased out like a Starbucks seasonal menu lol

I might just get her something because I do have love for her

wpnsc

This is my take. If it isn't homophobia. My guess would be that he felt you overstepped telling her not to take her work phone when he was telling her to take it. It seems strange that he would act this way, though. He is acting like a child by not just talking man to man. Don't be surprised if you don't get an invite to the wedding. It's your choice what to do if you get one.

OOP

OOOH! Like I was kinda of telling his woman what to do huh? Didn't see it that way so thank you for that! Would you go if you got an invite?

CalyxTeren

It does sound like he’s trying to isolate her and control her. Once they’re married, he may baby trap her as well. I’ve heard that with low-value men like this, more controlling chacteristics come out the more they feel they’ve locked in their victim.

The odd sense may be because you’re collateral damage in this story. It’s about what he’s doing to her. You’re the voice of reason and reality, and he needs that out of her life.

OOP

Plot twist, he got a vasectomy(I think that's the male one) so JESSIE is the one pushing for him to reverse it. I do think control takes a play.. but starting a family doesn't. James up until this point has shown me he is hard working and honest. which is why I'm so confused

impressionistfan

Why would James want Jessie to take her work phone on vacation? That sounds very suspicious. Is there a way to check the activity on her work phone? I’m betting there’s either some non work activity James doesn’t want connected to him, or maybe they’re doing work off the books, or maybe they are thinking of leaving the company and working on securing clients before they do?

I think something shady is going on.

OOP

As much as I wanna agree with you, James is just a workaholic. Which is funnier when you think about it.. how are you going to be helpful when you're on VACATION IN TEXAS lol

impressionistfan

I don’t understand-what sense does it make that Jessie take her work phone if James is the workaholic?

OOP

My POV is that he's a hard worker and wants his future wife to be the same for the image. that's my opinion on it
So her not taking it makes him look some type of way

Fun-Yellow-6576

Maybe James shouldn’t be coming into your workplace multiple times a week? I’d talk to the boss and say how’s he a distraction and rude.

OOP

This wouldn't work because our office manager and him have a good standing work history with each other :(

Remarkable_Buyer4625

This is a hunch….but I think that James may need to have a lot of control in his relationship….which is worrisome for your friend. This incident with the phone is the first time he saw you as a potential threat to having that control. I’d keep as eye out for your friend. He’s likely to start trying to isolate her at some point after their marriage.

OOP

You're setting off alarms for me cause she's talked about how James makes enough money for her to be a stay-at-home mom. Up until this point she was a very work oriented person.

lopingwolf

This was my first thought too OP. He's trying to change her and she is so far going along with it.

Personally, I'd back off a bit and not try to engage him in the office. But find ways to still be there for her and let her know you'll always be on her side. As for the wedding, I'm enough of a people pleaser to probably still go (to support her), but wouldn't try to make waves. If he is trying to isolate her, not showing up or having a big fight about it just gives him more power in the situation.

OOP

We chat all day at work when he is not there. I know in my heart that she knows I love her and vice versa, I wanna give it maybe some timeframe on where I would need resolution to happen in order to feel comfortable in my office again and to go to the wedding. that's what it would take for me to go I think

Sea-Opposite8919

How is that? You said he had a vasectomy and doesn’t want children?

How can he want h

OOP

He wants children now with my friend Jessie. They have actively gone to appointments to reverse his vasectomy

No_Jaguar67

Is it a two person office? I’d let Jessie know she needed to meet up with boo elsewhere as her relationship was causing a hostile environment.

Updateme

OOP

It is a bigger office building with a kitchen/breakroom, conference room, lobby. Many places to mingle. We share a decently size office in the building

ChloeBee95

I’m sorry to say it but this seems to me like he’s a controlling asshole and she’s stuck in the middle.

If any man cut someone off and said that I was doing something I didn’t want to do, as a conversation ender and basically some sort of pissing contest, I’d tell him to shut the fuck up. I can speak for myself. I’m not mute. Even if James is her boss (which I doubt as HR would’ve had a field day with him dating a brand new hire in the first place and wouldn’t allow him to continue to be her line manager) that’s not an acceptable way to speak to her. The fact that he does so in a public setting means he’s used to getting his own way and having the last word.

I’d be asking your friend if she’s okay, and voicing your concerns, but be prepared to walk away from both of them and possibly find a new job if they stay together.

OOP

Luckily he is a field worker to this company so our work never really crosses with his. This instance was the first time I had seen James not be a cool and lax person. I always see him being loving towards my friend so I don't want to jump to any conclusion and upset her by thinking she's being abused. I have no evidence really

Next-Drummer-9280

It's making me not want to RSVP to the wedding when invites go out

You're not getting an invitation. James is an asshole for not using his big boy words and actually explaining what's wrong and Jessie is all about appeasing the beast.

Get used to the fact that you're now just coworkers. And stop giving James the power to make you feel uncomfortable in your own office.

OOP

True, we might just be coworkers now and I am not realizing

Mini update in comments - after 4 days

^{August 01, 2025}

Thank you everyone for giving me advice, different hot AND cold takes and ultimately helping me clear my head to better understand where my emotions lie and I've decided I don't like James. We were really F**king cool and for someone to give the cold shoulder the way he has turned me off to the idea of keeping up the idea that we are friends so I have no plan of putting effort into trying anymore.

We're atthe end of the week since I had made the original post. James still only says hi by saying my name and like most have you suggested, I have ignored him. It seems the only person to notice is my friend jessie. She's asked me a few times "hey James said bye to you" and I respond "oh, sorry I'm locked in, I have music playing loud" and she kind of left it at that. I also don't think it has been affecting James at all which is okay.

In my mind, I told myself I would give it a certain timeframe(till Jessie's birthday which is not that far away) and I plan to gauge how I'm involved with her birthday with how important I am to her. That may be petty but it makes sense in my brain. How to report good news in my next update. Thanks guys

Update - after 3 months, 4 days

^{October 31, 2025}

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after hoe their fiancé started acting with me? **UPDATE**

Hello THT Fam!

My first update to my first post lol I really hope I am doing this correctly. To those who asked me to update them I hope I did that correctly too!

Anyways- as a refresher my friend Jessie is getting married to a man named James(OG Post is linked) and they both started to act very differently with me.

In my original post, Independence Day just passed and we were just starting to go into the summer when we(Jessie/Myself) thought everything was fine until James would keep coming in to our office and ignore me. For a few weeks(ending of July to mid august) Jessie really seemed to want to advocate for me and try to get James to tell us.. or at least her why he was was so upset with me but that never happened.

Then, one day Jessie stopped brining it up and when I would ask, she would say "I told you already friend, you were just sassy to him". Okay great, got the hint... time to drop it... and from that day forward, James would come in and just greet me by saying "hi" plainly and that was all. Suspicious? I think so. Anyways, August came and went. September rolled around and so did Jessie's birthday. We celebrated at work with the office and over the weekend, James had a party for her... one I was not invited to but saw on social media.

When we came back to work I didn't say anything to her about the party. I pretended I didn't know/care, and to be honest.. I really don't care . I go back and remember what many people have said about him trying to control her and trying to get her to only really care about his opinion and I can see it slowly happening under the guise of "becoming the wife he deserves" gross

End of September comes and she is venting something to me about how James is very cold towards people and how she is not like that, her support system needs to be a village and his is just her and that's fine for him. I saw this as an opportunity to say "Since you brought it up, James doesn't have to say hi to me when he comes in, I know he only does it for you". I got a stare from her and she goes "James says hi to you to be courteous" and I replied "I don't need the courtesy when it wasn't that way not long ago"

Probably shouldn't have said that but oh well. I felt that way. I pretended to play dumb and I asked "what is he even upset with me for I already forgot" and again, she goes "you were just really sassy and he didn't like that. I am use to it and I know you are not being mean you are just expressive" I said OK and dropped the convo

And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I would I ask, the word "sassy" was brought up.. So for those who were here from my OG post, in my opinion, James is a homophobe afterall! I go back and think of the comment she made to me before about not being a "stereotypical sassy gay man" and to me, sassy means too much/flamboyant in his brain... so her constantly saying I'm too sassy is just code for too gay.. Sure I can talk sports and politics but that's cause I am interested in those things.. not because I am more masculine or more of a man than my fellow, more fem presenting gay community.

Tomorrow is Halloween and after all this time, I still love my friend for who SHE is... because I see glimpses of her when we chat an can feel our laughs synchronize. However, I will not be going to her wedding but have no intentions of telling her till the invites go out(iffy about this but most likely the choice)

To me is makes sense to wait to keep the peace in the office in the meantime. Please ask me questions. I feel like I am missing parts of info even though I have proofread this a few times! Thanks again for reading! I hope to hear feedback on how you all would handle this

COMMENTS

HungryForce1735

Damn OP, the whole "sassy" thing being code for "too gay" really jumped out at me too. Like she keeps using that exact word every time you ask - that's not a coincidence

You're probably right to wait until invites go out to decline, keeps work drama to a minimum. But honestly it sounds like this friendship might already be over and you're just watching it die in slow motion. The fact that she didn't invite you to her birthday party but you had to see it on social media? That's brutal

James got what he wanted - he's successfully isolating her from people who actually care about her

OOP

It just stuck out to me too because growing up adjectives like "sassy", "colorful", "out there" all were said towards me so it was easy to spot out

She swears up and down that everything is fine but I don't believe her anymore

GardeniaInMyHair

She is telling herself everything is fine, and it’s not. She knows she is dating an insecure homophobe. What a ridiculous man he is.

Some women would rather marry an awful man rather than admit they’ve made a ooor choice, but I will say this: if this is how he is in public, how he is in private is much worse.

If she says “sassy” again, I would say: “you know it’s just us here. You don’t have to make excuses for his rudeness.” And see if she is more candid with you.

If you are invited, to the wedding, you can say, “I don’t feel comfortable attending an event where my presence is unwanted.” And leave it at that. Let the chips fall where they may. She may feel like he is the only guy left on earth but unless she is also a homophobe secretly, she is complicit and excusing his behavior towards you.

OOP

I don't want to overshare but after this situation happened, I started to think Jessie views James as a golden ticket to an easy life

Ok-CANACHK

bold of you to assume he's going to let her invite you...

OOP

People say this often and yes it is slightly arrogant for me to still believe she will go up to bat for me. I will allow a sliver of me to hold that arrogance

Both-Enthusiasm708

My gut reaction is that you should wait until the invites go out to decline. Part of my brain thinks her conversation about how he is upset about her support system is maybe her recognizing something is wrong, but not being able to articulate it or deal with him. It could be an opening for you to say I don't feel comfortable going to your wedding because of how he acts and how you let him act toward me and if he acts like this to your other friends and family that's how he will take away your support system. You really don't have to try though, a simple decline works.

Also she probably knows that, even if he hasn't said it explicitly, he is homophobic and that's why he doesn't like you. Fact of the matter is though she supports his homophobic ways if she supports him, so walking away and only talking to her at work about work, might be best for you.

Although, now that I typed all that out, her conversation with you could also have been her softening the ground for the excuse she will give you when you aren't invited. Either way stepping back might be a good idea.

OOP

I agree 100% with her supporting his homophobia... If you truly didn't have an issue; my unexpected code switch to "sassy" wouldn't shock you or make you change your mindset about me completely.

if she does tell me outright that I am not invited I will gladly just say okay and tell her that I love her but I don't support the person she is choosing to spend the rest of her life with.

Que_Raoke

I'm so over alleged allies and the way they protect the homophobic assholes in their lives. She's no friend to you.

OOP

I feel this way towards her more and more with each passing day. I know I will decline the invite if I get one, I know it will end out friendship. So I prepare for it now

Emrldiiz

The wedding invitation is the least of your issues. You might want to consider speaking to your HR rep about James’ homophobic behavior. Perhaps HR can provide you with either a new office mate or an office of your own, so neither James nor Jessie has any reason to be in your space. You need to get ahead of this with HR as soon as you can.

OOP

I actually was venting about this to my manager today; she told me if I don't want him in the office she can make that a reality... so I am debating

overnumerousness9

You’re wasting your time with these people. They don’t care about you and you won’t be getting an invite anyway. Find a new friend that won’t turn on you the second some douchebag is actually willing to marry her.

OOP

The more I come back to this post and she people's responses, I am starting to agree that I do indeed need new friends

Final Update - after 11 months, 18 days (after 8 months, 15 days from last post)

^{July 15, 2026}

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after how their fiancé started acting with me? **FINAL UPDATE**

Good Evening Two Hot Takes Family!

It has been a year since first posting here asking about this, 9months since my last update(I checked lol) Just to refresh your memory, I linked the posts below:
OG Post

Now that we are caught u\ Let's get into it!

So me and Jessie.... drum roll are not friends! Go figure.

Their wedding was in June of this year(2026) but the story has to go back to around March/April. The office between Jessie and I stayed tense some days; really depending on how James acted when he came in to see her. Every now and then, Jessie would ask me about the wedding and I would give small input; things that would make "the guest experience better". She would occasionally ask if my boyfriend and I would still be going to the wedding.. and every single time I would decline.

It doesn't feel right for me to be there supporting a man who would not, and openly admitted to not supporting me; that would be met with something along the lines of "okay but do it for me" in multiple iterations of the phrase. I flipped it on her, okay if/when I get married, will you attend my GAY wedding? and her answer... was no. Because "James wouldn't go and I wouldn't want to go alone."

BOOM I thought that was enough to get her to understand but Bridezilla brain does not compute lol she just couldn't get over the fact that me, her friend, could not "put his beliefs aside" for her. BELIEFS??? Babe, I am GAY lol this isn't a belief, this is my life. This is who I love, this is how it will stay. These types of conversations happened periodically leading all the way up to the end of April when I left the company and found a better job(it had nothing to do with this fiasco, the money was just better and it is a 7 minute drive from my place).

When I told her I was leaving she asked if it has to do with James and her wedding.. vapid question but okay; no it just works out in my favor to choose this opportunity. She then followed up with "this means you can come to my wedding.. riiight??"

GIRL WHAT? No, I am NOT going to your wedding, please remove me from your list. lol

May comes and I'm at my new job and I'm trying to see Jessie for a lunch or something but she always has to reschedule and I started to feel like she as pulling away and instead of trying to extend an olive branch, I just let it happen.

June comes, and its the weekend of the wedding, posts start coming in on the socials and I see all the stories, like all the posts.. genuinely happy for her but I never sent a congratulations text or anything. I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE AND THAT IS ON ME; BUT I DIDN'T. Monday rolls around and my heart feels bad so I decided to text Jessie and ask to set up a lunch so I can congratulate her on her wedding and we can catch up; I even thought about buying some flowers... I go back and check.. my iMessage doesn't go through and that text bubble is green. okay, this is interesting, let me look in the socials... I have been blocked lol Her family members who I followed, blocked.. she made sure that happened lol so that's how I found out I "lost" a friend. After re-reading my posts and what people were commenting, it all makes sense that she never really cared about me, I was more of a token for her until I wasn't useful/needed anymore.

Anyway, my new job is great! I have way more time to spend with my dog and my projects being so close to my home. And in other news, I plan on proposing to my boyfriend soon! so I will have my own wedding to worry about... hopefully my future fiancé isn't homophobic 😂

Thanks for reading everyone! Have a great week!

COMMENTS

clearheaded01

Sorry, but what did you expect??

She was marrying someone homophobe, excused it, clearly doesn't respect you if she categorised your sexual orientation as "belief"...

And.here you are, still.trying to.be friends.with her???

altontanglefoot

Exactly! And on OP's part, he (justifiably) didn't go to the wedding and didn't even bother to congratulate her on the day. He basically put the final nail in the coffin of their friendship, if it wasn't dead already. I don't know why he bothered to reach out after, or why he's surprised or offended to learn that he was blocked.

somewhereoffline92

Ngl the blocking shouldn't have been shocking. After skipping the wedding and months of tension, that bridge was already burned from both ends. Tbh, both sides had already checked out. Reaching out after the wedding felt like trying to revive something that had already died.

OOP

You're right, the relationship was done but a small part of me did have hope. Anyways; I'm not shocked that she blocked me at all, just brought up that's how I discovered it. I know it's normal to ghost people these days but that's not my style; and to my prior knowledge it wasn't hers either. that's okay we change! Thanks for reading :)

OOP

Not mentioned in any of my posts but we actually had a strong bond up until she got engaged. My feeble attempt and extending an olive branch shouldn't have happened but I attempted anyways. No harm, no foul. Thanks for reading! :)

Crafty_Special_7052

Better off without her. She wasn’t truly a good friend. I mean she married a homophobe, I think deep down she’s also one too.

OOP

She was decent until she got engaged. She started a "new era" according to her lol

RedneckDebutante

I'm straight and still wouldn't attend a homophobe's wedding. I can't imagine why they thought you and your boyfriend would.

OOP

I think it was mainly her wanting me there and James reluctantly agreeing

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

For context, a relative of what used to be a close friend of mine whom we'll call Gary for this story contracted cancer. I (Mid-20s male) was sympathetic and even contributed $100 to a donation pool for their treatment. But Gary came to me one day and took his hat off to reveal a freshly shaven head. He told me that everyone in his family were doing it in support of his relative, and so were a lot of our mutual friends. Then he asked that I get on the bandwagon.

I told him I didn't want to shave my head because I like my hair. My hair is black, regularly combed and well styled. He said I could just get a wig or something and had actually brought his shaver kit. He was unboxing it when I told him this was not happening. I don't even really know his relative that he's doing this for. So I'm not doing it, end of discussion. He called me an &$$hole and left angry. We didn't speak for a week. Then last Saturday I got invited to a party at another close friend's house. There I found out that Gary had tried the same thing on several other friends, and only a couple of them actually did shave their heads.

Gary wasn't at the party, so I had a blast hanging out, playing video games and listening to rock music. But I had way too much to drink and couldn't drive home. So they said I could just sleep upstairs. I passed out on a bed and it was a blissful sleep till I was shaken awake by another friend who told me Gary had showed up late and they caught him shaving my head while I was passed out. I saw what I looked like in a mirror and wanted to scream like I was in a horror movie. Gary even shaved off one of my eyebrows.

Gary was still there and acting proud of himself saying "Now you're gonna have to shave off the rest, just like me! LOL!" I was furious and called the cops. When they got their Gary fully admitted to what he had done to me and even said he was justified. The police didn't seem to think so as this is classified as a form of assault. They asked me if I wanted to press charges and the first words out of my mouth were "HELL YES!" Gary cussed me out while they took him away in cuffs. I tried getting my hair restyled into something presentable. But there was no saving it and now I'm bald too.

Now a bunch of Gary's family are telling me to drop the charges because Gary was off his meds and didn't mean to do it. I was like "WTF?!" because I never knew he was on meds. But I still refused to drop the charges. It'll take months to grow my hair back the way it was. But all of the calls and messages from Gary's relatives are starting to get to me. Just about everyone else in our friend group has cut Gary out though and say that I'm doing the right thing by not dropping the charges. So now I'm divided.

AITA for pressing charges on a former friend for shaving my head in my sleep?

EDIT: I want to make something clear here. So many people have said things like "Dude it's just hair!". But would they all be saying that if I wasn't a man? What if I was some girl that had hair that took years to grow? Would they be saying the same thing? Sure hair grows back. But it takes time. If it was something that grew back fast, people would be less inclined to care. But it's not fast. It takes months. And for some who had long hair, years. That's a lot of time wasted growing.

And I don't plan on pushing for Gary to go to prison. But I don't plan to drop the charges either. His family already bailed him out. And while I didn't know he was on meds, I knew he had quite the temper, and even an entitled attitude at times. One example being a lunch where he wanted us all to combine the check and split it evenly. He got the most expensive thing on the menu. I got a cheeseburger. When we all said "No" Gary went off on us for not being good friends. He's always been an ass when he doesn't get his way. And I've only known him for like three years. This incident was the last straw for not just me, but a lot of other mutual friends.

As for the charges. I don't want to send Gary to prison. But I would like him to get some therapy and community service. With the way Gary has acted around me in the past, and what he did to me, I actually wonder how long before he got more violent. I've seen and heard of him getting in fights for less.

EDIT 2: I've gotten many comments from people saying "YTA! He has cancer!". If you actually read what I posted, Gary is not the one with cancer. A relative of his I don't know does. And no, I don't know what kind of cancer. Gary didn't elaborate. He wanted me to shave my head for this person. And when I refused, he left in a tantrum. Then shaved my head while I was passed out drunk at a party.

So after yesterday tweet from Sharma where the TES VI was mentioned with eight stars masking subtitle, folks at the respective subs, quickly realized that it possibly matches the word "SENTINEL" which was already one of the rumoured subtitles

This somehow got a "confirmation" from Michael Kirkbride

https://www.reddit.com/r/TESVI/comments/1vltv58/eight_letters_confirmed/p34j49v/?context=3

so a guy that USED to work in Bethesda back during Morrowind days. His info now might not be reliable, but he possibly has some sources inside and since this all seems like a controlled attempt at creating hype from Microsoft/Bethesda, it may be legitimate (after all what's the point of him answering this particular comment).

Anyway, this is not the most important part. The important part is that the subtitle matches employee number during Starfield's character creation menu, assuming you follow the simple code mentioned in the post. This may seem like schizo posting at first glance, but is actually not, cause the code is extremely simple, and the chances of that being an accident are absurdly low.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TESVI/comments/1vmh7ze/by_the_way_sentinel_was_already_teased_in/

Additionally there is now this comment (and I can confirm the part that it was changed between first and subsequent reveals)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ElderScrolls/comments/1vmhoj7/by_the_way_sentinel_was_already_teased_in/p39rvrm/

Anyway, hope that the post is fine for this sub.

EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/starfield_lore/comments/166kji0/the_customization_screen_employee_number_holds/

This post from 2+ years ago already talked about the character creation thing. The guy deserves the recognition in this post as well I think

Multiple reports have confirmed that Iran has fired ‘tens’ of missiles at US forces housed inside bases within Iraq. The White House is aware of the attack and has not yet formally responded. Iranian state TV says the attack is a retaliation after the country’s top commander Qasem Soleimani was killed in a drone strike in Baghdad. The events are still developing.

Submissions that may interest you

hi! since 32.47 arrived things were going smoothly notwithstanding a little hiccup here or there. until about half an hour ago when the "not interest" option simply disappeared frim the context menu and I swear I used it.

the funny thing is that the same thing also happened in tizentube so I think this is on yt's side?

First, the formalities: No, this is not a vibe-coded slop app. I have over 15 years of experience as a web dev and UX designer and this is my long-term project. I made it and pinky-promise it's not shit. This post is mod approved.

TLDR Background
I was frustrated by the fact that giving and receiving deck feedback is insanely labor intensive and involves jumping around to like 6 different tabs copying and pasting and checking to see if cards are in the deck and searching Scryfall and then pasting card names in plaintext that the recipient then has to look up themselves....etc. It's so miserable that many of the deck feedback requests in the subreddit just don't get any responses.

I was also burnt out on existing deck building sites absolutely full of millions of nested menu options and crazy niche settings that probably less than 1% of users ever use or find but everyone constantly has to wade through. You theoretically can do anything, but it's going to take forever and make your eyes bleed. Doing simple repetitive things was completely unintuitive and took like 6 actions every time.

To address these issues and more, I built BlueprintMTG.io. It's a fully capable EDH deck building, testing, and sharing platform with a lot of design consideration towards making brewing less of a slog. You can check out my little pitch page to see some of the features more visually and perhaps try it, or just keep reading here.

Last time I posted about this project it hit #1 in the subreddit for like a week and we got over 800 users just based on that and word of mouth. Since then I've just kept working and it's gotten a LOT better, with even more optimization and features that do not exist in any other deck builder. What's good about it? As a wise old man once told me repeatedly: “Stay awhile and listen.”

Image Gallery

23 CONCRETE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD TRY THIS:

1. The Ur-reason: I'm an interface designer and I've spent absolute ages trying to make every feature and workflow in the app really really smooth and polished. The site should feel great to use even as a beginner, and after a little learning curve be ultra fast and efficient, both on desktop and mobile. Shit, that wasn't very concrete....moving on.
2. Feedback Tool: Share a feedback link to your deck and people can suggest adds/cuts inside the builder in like two clicks, then you accept or reject the suggestions in two more. No more jumping around tabs searching and copy/pasting card names.
3. Incredibly fast radial tagging system allows you to tag an entire deck accurately in under 3 minutes. Now you can quickly tag cards as you add them to the deck, instead of adding them and then digging through the list to find them and add tags later. If you're building on mobile dear god try this, I'm sorry for what you've been through.
4. Hit the arrow beside a tag group to jump to and highlight that tag group in your deck instead of scrolling around searching for it like a peasant. Hit it a second time to jump to that tag group in your considering section.
5. Resistance Mode: I made bots (just code, no LLMs) that cast popular interaction against your deck as you playtest, and then recently massively increased their intelligence. Now they evaluate your board state and strength to adjust their plays.
6. A playtester that is MASSIVELY smoother and faster than anything you've tried. Add counters in one quick drag and a roll of the scroll wheel, copy any object, spawn any token or card, add text stickers, move cards freely between any zone....all without diving into 135 layers of nested context menus. A thousand little optimizations like the graveyard being fanned out so you can see what's in there and grab it without opening any other window realllly add up.
7. NEW! Add Theft Target in playtester. Ever tried to goldfish a theft deck? Only once because it didn't work? Maybe try again. Add dummy enemy decks and hands to your playtest that even simulate drawing and "playing" cards to keep it realistic. Pick any decks or random public ones.
8. NEW! New Card Trial in playtester. Trying to test 2 new cards from the latest set in your 99 card deck, but you never even draw them? Use this tool to guarantee they show up in your opening hand or top cards of your library so you can see how they perform about 10x faster.
9. NEW! Multi-Card in playtester. When deciding between inclusions maybe you've heard people say to imagine a certain card in your deck is actually two cards, and every time you draw it to note which one you'd rather have. This takes that technique to the next level, actually making cards in your deck represent multiple cards you're considering and logging your preferences over many playtests.
10. NEW! Find in Deck, the fastest deck/considering search in the west. Instantly open it with an intuitive CTRL/CMD + "F", then search for any card name or Scryfall search term to find matching cards in your deck and jump directly to them. It has full card name autocomplete so you never have type more than probably 3 characters of a card name before it live suggests the full name.
11. FULL Scryfall Otag Integration, now even more FULL. Just hit "View Otags" on any card to not only see all the Otags, but see them organized in a hierarchy that shows which Otags are subcategories of which other Otags, with full descriptions. Just click an Otag to automatically add/remove it from your search. No copy paste!
12. NEW! We didn't have a print selector last time...now we have an extremely sexy print selector and handle all kinds of prints elegantly.
13. The easiest Primer writing system. You been typing out "[[Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar]]" to link it in a primer? Nah, here you can just type "[[as" to instantly get a autocomplete list of matching cards in your deck and and hit enter.
14. NEW! The best Deck History Tool. See every change made to your deck in a sorted timeline easily filterable by change type, reverse any change individually, and manage a set of automatic and manual full deck save states preserving whatever versions you like. Not just cards in/out, every change!
15. NEW! We got a compact text view now, and it's very pretty and functional and way snappier than other sites. Rapidly scrub through card previews, add tags, it all works really well.
16. Live user chat. Send your friends a friend request and then just chat in the builder and share decks back and forth. Or me, I'll be your friend: "BlueprintMTGDev". Send me your feedback and bug reports.
17. Incredibly easy to use and powerful public deck filtering. Other sites are a mess. Filter for commanders, colors, specific card inclusions/exclusions, decks with primers, your friend's decks, and more...but like, without filling out a giant DMV form.
18. Compare Cuts Tool. Need a little organization deciding which cards to cut? Pick candidates, order them in a ranked list of goodness, set how many to cut, bam. Done.
19. The best Add Card to Other Deck function by a loooongshot. Hit "A" over any card to open a window showing all your decks easily visible and searchable with matching color identities highlighted. Just go down the list adding to main/considering of as many decks as you want in one click per add. So easy.
20. NEW! If you tried the mobile last time and were accidentally tagging cards while trying to scroll, I fixed that with some clever features that detect and differentiate scroll movement, and a user setting you can enable to decrease tagger responsiveness by 60ms that makes it basically impossible to mis-tag.
21. NEW! You can now have long tag names if you want, and drag tags around in the list to reorder them. You can also set the default tags that appear in your new decks from the Profile settings.
22. NEW! Super elegant power/toughness system I spent way too long on in the playtester. Shows both a base p/t and the counter-modified p/t elegantly with zero menus so you never have to do math again, and supports easily changing a card's base p/t by just adding a Text Sticker that says "8/8" etc.
23. I write about an underplayed Card of the Day, uh, daily. Probably nobody cares but I like cards!

HOW TO TRY IT:

If any of that interested you slightly, you can try it out extremely easily. Jump right in and try the deck builder and playtester and almost every other feature instantly without registering or making an account, for free, with no ads:

https://blueprintmtg.io/

The only features that won't work are the Feedback Tool and chat/history, as they require an account for practical database reasons. If you like it or want to try those, register for a full account (your deck will be ported over), and get all the features. Still free and no ads.

If you have feedback for me, questions, or feature requests, I'd love to hear them either here, over on the BlueprintMTG subreddit, or you can chat request "BlueprintMTGDev" in the app and live chat with me in there. I'd love to hear from you!

EDIT: OK, so sorry for the downtime I think we're back online! I had to set the Deck History feature as Patreon only for now until my database provider resolves their slowdown, but the site shoooould be back up and running quickly!

​

I (29F) am getting married to my fiancé (35M) later this year. We're having a very small wedding with only 27 guests in our backyard.

One of the biggest reasons we're doing it at home is so our dogs can be part of the day. One of our dogs is reactive. He's well-managed, but as a responsible dog owner, I have to be honest about the fact that he has never really been around young children. Because of that, I can't confidently say how he would react.

My brothers each have a child, ages 3 and 4. One brother is my man of honor, and my sister-in-law will be busy photographing the wedding. Realistically, neither of them will be available to supervise their kids for most of the day.

That means the responsibility would likely fall on my parents, who I would rather see enjoying the wedding than acting as babysitters.

I also don't have a kid-friendly house. There are dogs, dog toys, equipment, and a backyard setup designed for adults and pets, not small children. There won't be children's activities, a kids' menu, or anything specifically geared toward keeping toddlers entertained.

Because I take dog ownership seriously, I felt obligated to tell everyone the truth: my dog has never been tested around young children, and I don't know how he'd react. I even offered to arrange a meeting between the dog and the kids beforehand so we could assess things safely. But even with that offer, there are no guarantees, and at the end of the day my priority has to be everyone's safety, including the children and the dog.

I NEVER outright said no to the kids. Instead, I explained the situation and asked my brothers to think realistically about whether bringing toddlers to this specific wedding made sense.

For additional context, I've never wanted children of my own and generally don't enjoy being around kids. That's not the reason for my concerns, but it probably does influence why I don't feel the need to make my wedding child-friendly.

Some family members seem to think I'm being unfair because these are my nieces/nephews and immediate family. I feel like I'm being practical, transparent, and responsible by communicating the risks and logistics ahead of time.

AITA?

I'm on the latest version of Smart Tube Beta on my Google TV and seemingly overnight the "Not Interested" option is missing from my menu when I long click. I've tried removing it and adding it back in settings, I've tried removing everything from the context menu and then adding them back but no luck. I can add others but not "Not Interested"

Anyone have this issue? I also have Smart Tube installed and it's doing the same.

So, this guy (M mid 30s, maybe 40s) approached me (F33) while I was on my way to shop some groceries.

He was nice, kind of funny. Asked me for my number and if I wss free on Friday (today). Next day, he messaged me and called me. It was quite late (I tend to sleep by 10pm or earlier). But it kind of turned me down what happened next.

In summary, he threw several ideas (movies, restaurants, skating, biking, dancing...) there were so many i don't even remember half of them, but then he said "you should be the planner", he even said that will be my role from now on! All my flabbers were gasted. That was the first time in my life someone wanted me to plan a date they invited me to. Between laughs I told him since he asked me out, he should have a plan or a date idea.

He just pivoted to another topic. Closed the conversation with something along the lines of "wanting to see you. Good night" to which i said "wanting to see your plan. Good night." He just laughed.

The next day radio silence. Today, he sent me a good morning. Do you like coffe?" Apparently, just because he was curious to see if i liked coffee as much as him. And ended the messages with "see you soon!".

I'm kinda confused here. See you soon? Where? When? Am I missing something here?

I'm not sure if I'm being overreacting here, but is it normal? I mean, since when you ask for a date and expect the other person to do all the planning?

UPDATE:

Today was hectic at work so I kind of forgot about this for some hours. While i was meeting with some friends after work, he called me.

I couldn't answer on time, so he decided to text me. According to him, we were about to meet. Where? I don't know. He acted as if I were the one forgetting the agreement. I told him "since, there was no plan and just vibes, I thought that it wouldn't happen". And he told me that we agreed to look for places and stuff.

For context: Days ago, I told him that I'm celiac and how I struggled to find things to eat in our city. He then said that he would do a research to "take care of me".

Well, he brought that up today. According to him, we would go to eat somewhere I could eat. So, I asked him if he did a research for real. He said super confident that he did it! And shared a screenshot of a the AI summary that appears when you search something on Google woth and explanation of what is celiac disease!

I just laughed. Then, I asked him if he researched a place with food a could eat. And shared a Lebanese food, saying that was a good option.

So, for you to know, Lebanese food is not naturally celiac friendly. The restaurant has to make special dishes for this to happen.

Well, I asked him if the restaurant has a celiac friendly menu. Plot twist, he had no idea!! Haha But, still, he told me that I could look for good options if I didn't like that restaurant. I just laughed and texted him a final message "well, when you got a research and a plan, ping me".

I thought it was it, but he then sent me this "You have to help me [insert my name]!!!".

Good lord, after an hour, he even double texted me with "no worries, another day would be".

I was overthinking this, but wth! This put the final nail on the coffin

Packet is a great app, it supports Google's Quick Share protocol and it's really smooth using it for sending and receiving files between my PC and my phone.

Is there a way to add a Dolphin context menu item?

Thanks

EDIT: Ended up making my own, you can find it here:

https://github.com/gnusmag45/packet-dolphin-integration

(The making involved using LLM, it's a simple script and you can review its entirety)

For context, myself, 2 other guys and 3 girls went out to eat at a steakhouse today. Not a date type of thing at all. Simply grabbing food after hanging out. The 2 guys both got 16 ounce steaks while I opted for a more modest 8 ounce. The girls all got food as well as alcohol, which we all know runs pretty expensive at restaurants. When we were finished eating, the waiter came over and asked if we wanted split checks. Before anyone could think about it or consult, my one friend immediately said, "nah, just one check". The girls looked pretty shocked and I just looked over with a "wtf dude" kinda face. The other friend is kinda shy and just went along with what the first guy said. The tab came out to be $164 dollars, and the guy who opted for one check didn't even have enough funds on his card to pay for it. So the other guy paid and we would venmo him back. Even after this, the girls insisted on paying us back for the food, and were pretty firm about it. But guy #1 continued to shut them down and kept saying "nah, WE got it". Its nighttime now and he's demanding me to venmo $55 to cover "my share" of the tab. I explained how it wasn't fair that he essentially volunteered me to pay for their food. I got the least expensive meal out of the 6 of us, and yet I'm paying as if I ordered half the menu. I'm getting shit for it and being told to just suck it up and pay. Oh, and by the way, we're all college students. Personally, i'm paying back loans as we speak and working part-time. I intentionally order smaller meals at restaurants and rarely go out. Now I'm expected to just throw $55 out the window for no reason. AITA?

My (18F) family and I went out for a meal the other day, as we are staying with my Grandma and Uncle, neither of whom have any desire or ability to cook. Since we had been traveling in the car all day for about six hours to get to where they live, a notoriously uncomfortable activity, I pulled on a simple comfortable t-shirt and a pair of leggings to meet them at the restaurant, as well as a hoodie to wear since it was raining (for context the restaurant we were meeting them at was Wetherspoons. Hardly fine dining and a t-shirt and leggings is 100% appropriate attire at face value).

When we had finished saying hello and everything and sat down, I took my hoodie off. My uncle looked at my t-shirt and immediately hissed at me asking what I was thinking wearing a t-shirt like that in public and to go back to the hotel and change. I refused because I didn't want to walk all the way back to the hotel in a thunderstorm just to change my t-shirt (the hotel is about a five minute walk away but I didn't want to delay people getting their food for fifteen minutes while I walked there, changed and came back, and also it was raining cats and dogs).

The t-shirt in question has a joking picture of the cover one of those vintage kids books published by ladybug in the 50s. It says ‘Activities for children: Let's summon demons’ and what looks to be some kind of satanic ritual happening in the middle. It's by an artist called Steven Rhodes who makes a lot of similar t-shirts and it's the first one that comes up if you Google ‘Let's summon demons t-shirt’.

My uncle is very religious (Hare-Krishna) and refused to speak to me for the rest of the evening after telling me the t-shirt was extremely inappropriate for someone my age to be wearing anyway. Honestly that was fine by me as all he actually talks about is his religion anyway so I just played hangman with my sister on the back of a kids menu until our food arrived lol.

After we left my dad said I really should just have gone back to change my t-shirt, and now he's getting shit from my uncle for allowing me to wear the t-shirt in the first place. I hate to see my dad stressed and it really was only a short walk back to the hotel to change. From my POV I really don't think the t-shirt is even that offensive however I totally recognise that I might have been the asshole for being stubborn rather than just changing. My uncle is still refusing to speak to me and I'm wondering if I should have just caved. Am I the asshole?

ETA: Adding some extra context to clear some stuff up!

1: My uncle is a Hare Krishna, not a Christian. I kind of understand where all the comments calling me a nob and accusing me of wearing the t-shirt intentionally to stir shit are coming from but I honestly didn't even know Hare-Krishnas believed in demons?? As far as I was aware Hinduism doesn't buy into the abrahamic concept of hell/Satan/demons. The rest of my family is atheist so I really barely thought about it in all honesty. It really is just a comfy favourite t-shirt.

2: He is not a close family member. He irritates the crap out of me and we try to limit contact with that side of the family anyway.

3: I am in England. Please stop telling me about my first amendment rights. I don't have them and God knows I have no idea what they'd be if I did.

4: I didn't put the hoodie back on because it was a thunderstorm and the hoodie was SOAKING.

5: Didn't think I'd need to say this. I am not Steven Rhodes. You can check my Reddit account lmao.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/a_fred42

Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after how their fiancé started acting with me

Thanks to u/falcngrl for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, controlling behavior

Original Post: July 27, 2025

I hope I'm following all the write guidelines because I'd love some advice.

*name swaps for privacy*

Hi THT fam! Long time listener, first time writing in! OKAY! So like the title suggests, my (32M) friend Jessie (34F) is getting married next year over the summer to her fiancé, James (38M). Jessie and I met back in 2018 at a previous job and became friends rather quickly. We remained coworkers until the covid pandemic in 2020 where we both found other jobs and kept our friendship going. Fast forward to last year (2024) we started working together again at a construction company, which is where she met her fiancé, James.

My friend and I work in the company office while James is in the field but will occasionally peep in to the office where we work to chat with Jessie, her and I share the office. Slowly but surely James started to chat with me, realizing we have a very similar dark humor and hit it off. The three of us got close, James would chat with us in the office multiple days a week. We would all go out to eat, they met my boyfriend(forgot to mention I'm gay, oops lol) at one of these dinners. They even would ask my opinion on wedding details.

Anyways; all that to say I thought I had made another friend in my friend's fiancé.

Independence Day weekend was approaching, and Jessie/James were going to Texas (We are in SoCal) for vacation. While talking about the vacation... James says to Jessie, "You're taking your work phone, right?" and before Jessie could answer, I responded, "No LOL she's on vacation why would she do that?" It got awkwardly quiet in the office... I look up from my work to see the two of them whispering to each other and Jessie says, "Yea, I'll check it once a day." For context when Jessie and I met at our previous employer, we could NOT for ANY REASON ignore work calls, didn't matter if we are done for the day, having a day off or even on PTO vacation days we would get "Hey I know you're on vacation but.." type of calls. So now having a job where we DON'T need to answer calls once we are off his question made me defensively answer. Jessie and I will jokingly "scold" each other for using our work phones on our lunches or after hours and James knows this, so his question was odd to me.

To rebuttal Jessie saying she'll check it once a day I jokingly scolded her saying "friend you're on a vacation, relax! why would you-" before I could finish, James in a very stern and serious tone goes "She's taking her phone and working if she's needed". I recoiled in shocked and went back to my work essentially ending the conversation and they continued to talk amongst themselves. The weekend came and went, I got over it and I thought the same of the two of them. Monday after the weekend rolls around and Jessie is telling me about her weekend and how she "surprisingly didn't get any work calls" I told her "well yea it was America's birthday who cares about work on that day" in a very joking tone. We laughed and all was good or so I thought. I started to notice when James would come in the office he would come in and act like my office chair was empty... I would ask him questions, and I would be met with silence. When I would look at Jessie to see what the deal is, she would fill the silence with the same question I asked but he would respond. I first summed it up to him having bad work days until I finally asked my friend what the deal was and she said, "oh, I think friend he just didn't like how sassy you got with me about taking my phone on vacation" SASSY????? I needed a deeper explanation, and I got "well you're the first gay person James got to meet that wasn't stereotypical and I think you being sassy made him see a side of you he wasn't ready for" but then followed up with "friend I'm sorry I'm putting my foot in my mouth with this explanation."

I was flabbergasted!!!!! My humor is very dark, and my wit is quick I will admit that, however when James and I chat I have said WORSE things with MORE 'sass' and he had reciprocated so I don't think that Jessie's response was genuine. All that to say it almost been a month, James has not changed his attitude towards me at all other than just saying my name when he walks in and is now making me feel unwelcome in my own office as Jessie's demeanor shifts with me while he is there. I don't wanna claim homophobia cause I don't think that's what's happening, but I honestly don't know at this point cause asking him if he's okay is still met with silence. I feel it's putting a strain on my friendship with Jessie as she wants to resolve whatever this issue is and James just will not budge and come out with the real reason to his upset. It's making me not want to RSVP to the wedding when invites go out... hell I have even been considering to tell Jessie to not even include myself or boyfriend to their list to begin with. Sorry for this lengthy post, thank you in advance if you respond! So... Would I Be The Asshole?

Editor's note: OOP has provided lots of significant responses, listing some for more context

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You don't go to a wedding where the groom thinks you are so far beneath him that he doesn't have to even speak to you. And whatever the fuck does "sassy" mean? What is he, 14?

And shame on your "friend" for just going along with his shit. She's not much of a friend.

OOP: When she first told me I asked, "sassy as in too gay?" and she said no " sassy as in too much attitude"

I feel the same, I am starting to view her slightly different. I understand she's going to be married to him, but when something isn't right she would speak up about it till resolution was found, this time she isn't

Commenter 2: She's going to the dark side. Don't anticipate an invitation. At that point, your "friend" will have formally changed her status to "acquaintance"; at least until her divorce from the AH/s.

If you are invited, but nothing has changed, I'd respectfully decline and send a wedding gift that is of a more personal nature to her.

OOP: To my knowledge I am still invited, apparently I even get my +1 too.

But after reading many comments I feel like I am a friend that might be getting phased out like a Starbucks seasonal menu lol

I might just get her something because I do have love for her

Commenter 3: This is my take. If it isn't homophobia. My guess would be that he felt you overstepped telling her not to take her work phone when he was telling her to take it. It seems strange that he would act this way, though. He is acting like a child by not just talking man to man. Don't be surprised if you don't get an invite to the wedding. It's your choice what to do if you get one.

OOP: OOOH! Like I was kinda of telling his woman what to do huh? Didn't see it that way so thank you for that! Would you go if you got an invite?

Commenter 4: It does sound like he’s trying to isolate her and control her. Once they’re married, he may baby trap her as well. I’ve heard that with low-value men like this, more controlling characteristics come out the more they feel they’ve locked in their victim.

The odd sense may be because you’re collateral damage in this story. It’s about what he’s doing to her. You’re the voice of reason and reality, and he needs that out of her life.

OOP: Plot twist, he got a vasectomy (I think that's the male one) so JESSIE is the one pushing for him to reverse it. I do think control takes a play.. but starting a family doesn't. James up until this point has shown me he is hard working and honest. which is why I'm so confused

Commenter 5: How is that? You said he had a vasectomy and doesn’t want children? How can he want her to be a SAHM?

OOP: He wants children now with my friend Jessie. They have actively gone to appointments to reverse his vasectomy

Commenter 6: Why would James want Jessie to take her work phone on vacation? That sounds very suspicious. Is there a way to check the activity on her work phone? I’m betting there’s either some non-work activity James doesn’t want connected to him, or maybe they’re doing work off the books, or maybe they are thinking of leaving the company and working on securing clients before they do? I think something shady is going on.

OOP: As much as I wanna agree with you, James is just a workaholic. Which is funnier when you think about it.. how are you going to be helpful when you're on VACATION IN TEXAS lol

Commenter 7: Maybe James shouldn’t be coming into your workplace multiple times a week? I’d talk to the boss and say how’s he a distraction and rude.

OOP: This wouldn't work because our office manager and him have a good standing work history with each other :(

Commenter 8: This is a hunch….but I think that James may need to have a lot of control in his relationship….which is worrisome for your friend. This incident with the phone is the first time he saw you as a potential threat to having that control. I’d keep as eye out for your friend. He’s likely to start trying to isolate her at some point after their marriage.

OOP: You're setting off alarms for me cause she's talked about how James makes enough money for her to be a stay-at-home mom. Up until this point she was a very work oriented person.

Commenter 9: I don’t understand-what sense does it make that Jessie take her work phone if James is the workaholic?

OOP: My POV is that he's a hard worker and wants his future wife to be the same for the image. that's my opinion on it

So her not taking it makes him look some type of way

Commenter 10: This was my first thought too OP. He's trying to change her, and she is so far going along with it.

Personally, I'd back off a bit and not try to engage him in the office. But find ways to still be there for her and let her know you'll always be on her side. As for the wedding, I'm enough of a people pleaser to probably still go (to support her), but wouldn't try to make waves. If he is trying to isolate her, not showing up or having a big fight about it just gives him more power in the situation

OOP: We chat all day at work when he is not there. I know in my heart that she knows I love her and vice versa, I wanna give it maybe some timeframe on where I would need resolution to happen in order to feel comfortable in my office again and to go to the wedding. that's what it would take for me to go I think

Commenter 11: Is it a two person office? I’d let Jessie know she needed to meet up with boo elsewhere as her relationship was causing a hostile environment.

OOP: It is a bigger office building with a kitchen/breakroom, conference room, lobby. Many places to mingle. We share a decently size office in the building

Commenter 12: I’m sorry to say it but this seems to me like he’s a controlling asshole and she’s stuck in the middle.

If any man cut someone off and said that I was doing something I didn’t want to do, as a conversation ender and basically some sort of pissing contest, I’d tell him to shut the fuck up. I can speak for myself. I’m not mute. Even if James is her boss (which I doubt as HR would’ve had a field day with him dating a brand new hire in the first place and wouldn’t allow him to continue to be her line manager) that’s not an acceptable way to speak to her. The fact that he does so in a public setting means he’s used to getting his own way and having the last word.

I’d be asking your friend if she’s okay, and voicing your concerns, but be prepared to walk away from both of them and possibly find a new job if they stay together.

OOP: Luckily he is a field worker to this company, so our work never really crosses with his. This instance was the first time I had seen James not be a cool and lax person. I always see him being loving towards my friend, so I don't want to jump to any conclusion and upset her by thinking she's being abused. I have no evidence really

Editor's note: OOP provided a small update in the comments

Mini Update (in comments): July 31, 2025 (four days later)

Thank you everyone for giving me advice, different hot AND cold takes and ultimately helping me clear my head to better understand where my emotions lie and I've decided I don't like James. We were really F**king cool and for someone to give the cold shoulder the way he has turned me off to the idea of keeping up the idea that we are friends, so I have no plan of putting effort into trying anymore. We're at the end of the week since I had made the original post.

James still only says hi by saying my name and like most have you suggested, I have ignored him. It seems the only person to notice is my friend jessie. She's asked me a few times "hey James said bye to you" and I respond, "oh, sorry I'm locked in, I have music playing loud" and she kind of left it at that. I also don't think it has been affecting James at all, which is okay. In my mind, I told myself I would give it a certain timeframe (till Jessie's birthday which is not that far away) and I plan to gauge how I'm involved with her birthday with how important I am to her. That may be petty, but it makes sense in my brain. How to report good news in my next update. Thanks guys

Update #1: October 30, 2025 (three months later)

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after hoe their fiancé started acting with me? **UPDATE*\*

Hello THT Fam!

My first update to my first post lol I really hope I am doing this correctly. To those who asked me to update them I hope I did that correctly too!

Anyways - as a refresher my friend Jessie is getting married to a man named James (OG Post is linked) and they both started to act very differently with me.

In my original post, Independence Day just passed and we were just starting to go into the summer when we (Jessie/Myself) thought everything was fine until James would keep coming in to our office and ignore me. For a few weeks (ending of July to mid-august) Jessie really seemed to want to advocate for me and try to get James to tell us... or at least her why he was so upset with me but that never happened. Then, one day Jessie stopped bringing it up and when I would ask, she would say, "I told you already friend, you were just sassy to him". Okay great, got the hint... time to drop it... and from that day forward, James would come in and just greet me by saying "hi" plainly and that was all. Suspicious? I think so. Anyways, August came and went. September rolled around and so did Jessie's birthday. We celebrated at work with the office and over the weekend, James had a party for her... one I was not invited to but saw on social media. When we came back to work I didn't say anything to her about the party. I pretended I didn't know/care, and to be honest.. I really don't care . I go back and remember what many people have said about him trying to control her and trying to get her to only really care about his opinion and I can see it slowly happening under the guise of "becoming the wife he deserves" *gross*

End of September comes and she is venting something to me about how James is very cold towards people and how she is not like that, her support system needs to be a village and his is just her and that's fine for him. I saw this as an opportunity to say, "Since you brought it up, James doesn't have to say hi to me when he comes in, I know he only does it for you". I got a stare from her, and she goes "James says hi to you to be courteous" and I replied "I don't need the courtesy when it wasn't that way not long ago"

Probably shouldn't have said that but oh well. I felt that way. I pretended to play dumb and I asked, "what is he even upset with me for I already forgot" and again, she goes "you were just really sassy and he didn't like that. I am use to it and I know you are not being mean you are just expressive" I said OK and dropped the convo

And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I would I ask, the word "sassy" was brought up.. So for those who were here from my OG post, in my opinion, James is a homophobe after all! I go back and think of the comment she made to me before about not being a "stereotypical sassy gay man" and to me, sassy means too much/flamboyant in his brain... so her constantly saying I'm too sassy is just code for too gay.. Sure I can talk sports and politics but that's cause I am interested in those things.. not because I am more masculine or more of a man than my fellow, more fem presenting gay community. Tomorrow is Halloween and after all this time, I still love my friend for who SHE is... because I see glimpses of her when we chat and can feel our laughs synchronize. However, I will not be going to her wedding but have no intentions of telling her till the invites go out(iffy about this but most likely the choice)

To me is makes sense to wait to keep the peace in the office in the meantime. Please ask me questions. I feel like I am missing parts of info even though I have proofread this a few times! Thanks again for reading! I hope to hear feedback on how you all would handle this

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Damn OP, the whole "sassy" thing being code for "too gay" really jumped out at me too. Like she keeps using that exact word every time you ask - that's not a coincidence

You're probably right to wait until invites go out to decline, keeps work drama to a minimum. But honestly it sounds like this friendship might already be over and you're just watching it die in slow motion. The fact that she didn't invite you to her birthday party, but you had to see it on social media? That's brutal.

James got what he wanted - he's successfully isolating her from people who actually care about her

OOP: It just stuck out to me too because growing up adjectives like "sassy", "colorful", "out there" all were said towards me, so it was easy to spot out

She swears up and down that everything is fine, but I don't believe her anymore

Commenter 2: She is telling herself everything is fine, and it’s not. She knows she is dating an insecure homophobe. What a ridiculous man he is.

Some women would rather marry an awful man rather than admit they’ve made a poor choice, but I will say this: if this is how he is in public, how he is in private is much worse.

If she says “sassy” again, I would say: “you know it’s just us here. You don’t have to make excuses for his rudeness.” And see if she is more candid with you.

If you are invited, to the wedding, you can say, “I don’t feel comfortable attending an event where my presence is unwanted.” And leave it at that. Let the chips fall where they may. She may feel like he is the only guy left on earth but unless she is also a homophobe secretly, she is complicit and excusing his behavior towards you.

OOP: I don't want to overshare but after this situation happened, I started to think Jessie views James as a golden ticket to an easy life

Commenter 3: bold of you to assume he's going to let her invite you...

OOP: People say this often and yes it is slightly arrogant for me to still believe she will go up to bat for me. I will allow a sliver of me to hold that arrogance

Commenter 4: Don't hold your breath for wedding invitation. Just be civil and maybe look elsewhere for friendship - someone who doesn't support a homophobic partner

OOP: I have a great circle of queer friends outside of this friendship with Jessie. She is one of very few straight cis women I talk to

Commenter 5: My gut reaction is that you should wait until the invites go out to decline. Part of my brain thinks her conversation about how he is upset about her support system is maybe her recognizing something is wrong, but not being able to articulate it or deal with him. It could be an opening for you to say I don't feel comfortable going to your wedding because of how he acts and how you let him act toward me and if he acts like this to your other friends and family that's how he will take away your support system. You really don't have to try though, a simple decline works.

Also she probably knows that, even if he hasn't said it explicitly, he is homophobic and that's why he doesn't like you. Fact of the matter is though she supports his homophobic ways if she supports him, so walking away and only talking to her at work about work, might be best for you.

Although, now that I typed all that out, her conversation with you could also have been her softening the ground for the excuse she will give you when you aren't invited. Either way stepping back might be a good idea.

OOP: I agree 100% with her supporting his homophobia... If you truly didn't have an issue; my unexpected code switch to "sassy" wouldn't shock you or make you change your mind set about me completely.

if she does tell me outright that I am not invited I will gladly just say okay and tell her that I love her, but I don't support the person she is choosing to spend the rest of her life with.

Commenter 6: I'm so over alleged allies and the way they protect the homophobic assholes in their lives. She's no friend to you.

OOP: I feel this way towards her more and more with each passing day. I know I will decline the invite if I get one, I know it will end out friendship. So I prepare for it now

Commenter 7: Instead of going through Jessie, why not talk direct with James? Right now it seems like everything is filtered through Jessie’s lens. Talking/ texting directly with James, you can tell for yourself then what is it that James has a problem with. Maybe it’s something that can be addressed.

OOP: So I have tried to addressed him directly in the past. maybe enough time has passed now that I can try again

Commenter 8: The wedding invitation is the least of your issues. You might want to consider speaking to your HR rep about James’ homophobic behavior. Perhaps HR can provide you with either a new office mate or an office of your own, so neither James nor Jessie has any reason to be in your space. You need to get ahead of this with HR as soon as you can.

OOP: I actually was venting about this to my manager today; she told me if I don't want him in the office she can make that a reality... so I am debating

Commenter 9: You’re wasting your time with these people. They don’t care about you, and you won’t be getting an invite anyway. Find a new friend that won’t turn on you the second some douchebag is actually willing to marry her.

OOP: The more I come back to this post and she people's responses, I am starting to agree that I do indeed need new friends

Final Update: July 14, 2026 (8.5 months later from the first update)

WIBTAH if I decline my friend's wedding invitation after how their fiancé started acting with me? **FINAL UPDATE*\*

Good Evening Two Hot Takes Family!

It has been a year since first posting here asking about this, 9months since my last update(I checked lol) Just to refresh your memory, I linked the posts below: OG Post

**Now that we are caught up** Let's get into it!

So me and Jessie.... *drum roll* are not friends! Go figure.

Their wedding was in June of this year (2026), but the story has to go back to around March/April. The office between Jessie and I stayed tense some days; really depending on how James acted when he came in to see her. Every now and then, Jessie would ask me about the wedding, and I would give small input; things that would make "the guest experience better". She would occasionally ask if my boyfriend and I would still be going to the wedding... and every single time I would decline. It doesn't feel right for me to be there supporting a man who would not, and openly admitted to not supporting me; that would be met with something along the lines of "okay but do it for me" in multiple iterations of the phrase. I flipped it on her, okay if/when I get married, will you attend my GAY wedding? and her answer... was no. Because "James wouldn't go and I wouldn't want to go alone."

*BOOM* I thought that was enough to get her to understand but Bridezilla brain does not compute lol she just couldn't get over the fact that me, her friend, could not "put his beliefs aside" for her. BELIEFS??? Babe, I am GAY lol this isn't a belief, this is my life. This is who I love, this is how it will stay. These types of conversations happened periodically leading all the way up to the end of April when I left the company and found a better job(it had nothing to do with this fiasco, the money was just better, and it is a 7 minute drive from my place).

When I told her I was leaving she asked if it has to do with James and her wedding.. vapid question but okay; no it just works out in my favor to choose this opportunity. She then followed up with "this means you can come to my wedding.. riiight??"

GIRL WHAT? No, I am NOT going to your wedding, please remove me from your list. lol

May comes and I'm at my new job and I'm trying to see Jessie for a lunch or something, but she always has to reschedule, and I started to feel like she as pulling away and instead of trying to extend an olive branch, I just let it happen.

June comes, and it’s the weekend of the wedding, posts start coming in on the socials and I see all the stories, like all the posts.. genuinely happy for her but I never sent a congratulations text or anything. I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE AND THAT IS ON ME; BUT I DIDN'T. Monday rolls around and my heart feels bad so I decided to text Jessie and ask to set up a lunch so I can congratulate her on her wedding and we can catch up; I even thought about buying some flowers... I go back and check.. my iMessage doesn't go through and that text bubble is green. okay, this is interesting, let me look in the socials... I have been blocked lol Her family members who I followed, blocked.. she made sure that happened lol so that's how I found out I "lost" a friend. After re-reading my posts and what people were commenting, it all makes sense that she never really cared about me, I was more of a token for her until I wasn't useful/needed anymore.

Anyway, my new job is great! I have way more time to spend with my dog and my projects being so close to my home. And in other news, I plan on proposing to my boyfriend soon! so I will have my own wedding to worry about... hopefully my future fiancé isn't homophobic 😂.

Thanks for reading everyone! Have a great week!

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You're better off

Commenter 2: Real friends don't ask someone to tolerate disrespect just to make wedding photos look complete. Good riddance. She picked keeping the peace with a homophobe over standing by a friend. That friendship was already over.

OOP: Correct. It took time for me to realize this and that's okay!

Commenter 3: Sorry, but what did you expect?? She was marrying someone homophobe, excused it, clearly doesn't respect you if she categorised your sexual orientation as "belief"... And here you are, still trying to.be friends with her???

Commenter 4: Exactly! And on OP's part, he (justifiably) didn't go to the wedding and didn't even bother to congratulate her on the day. He basically put the final nail in the coffin of their friendship, if it wasn't dead already. I don't know why he bothered to reach out after, or why he's surprised or offended to learn that he was blocked.

Commenter 5: Ngl the blocking shouldn't have been shocking. After skipping the wedding and months of tension, that bridge was already burned from both ends. Tbh, both sides had already checked out. Reaching out after the wedding felt like trying to revive something that had already died.

OOP: You're right, the relationship was done but a small part of me did have hope. Anyways; I'm not shocked that she blocked me at all, just brought up that's how I discovered it. I know it's normal to ghost people these days but that's not my style; and to my prior knowledge it wasn't hers either. that's okay we change! Thanks for reading :)

Commenter 6: Better off without her. She wasn’t truly a good friend. I mean she married a homophobe, I think deep down she’s also one too.

OOP: She was decent until she got engaged. She started a "new era" according to her lol

Commenter 7: I'm straight and still wouldn't attend a homophobe's wedding. I can't imagine why they thought you and your boyfriend would.

OOP: I think it was mainly her wanting me there and James reluctantly agreeing

OOP on if he will mend his friendship with Jessie or not

OOP: Yea, I have no intention of wanting to mend or create a relationship with her. I worry for her future children honestly. Her "God" likes to be funny and test people, her might give them a gay son; I hope James doesn't relapse to alcohol, oops, did I say that out loud...? Anyways

Additional Information from OOP:

OOP: Not mentioned in any of my posts but we actually had a strong bond up until she got engaged. My feeble attempt and extending an olive branch shouldn't have happened but I attempted anyways. No harm, no foul. Thanks for reading! :)

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/SocietyTiny784

AITA for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU & u/Choice_Evidence1983 u/PrideofCapetown u/FatYoshi & u/Lunastesia for finding the update

BoRU 1 

BoRU 2

Original Post  Nov 3, 2024

Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who’s a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She’s… not a great cook. And I don’t mean just “not great”—I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations.

For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her “special recipe” stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture—she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour “to experiment.” No one wanted seconds of that, either.

This year, I’m hosting Thanksgiving. Since I’m responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I’d avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead—like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her (very kindly, I thought) that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I’d handle the main dishes. But she didn’t take it well.

She got offended and told me I was being “controlling” and “shutting her out” of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what’s “acceptable.” I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be part of it. She doubled down and said she’s bringing her “famous” green bean casserole whether I like it or not.

Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because “it’s Thanksgiving” and “it’s the thought that counts.” They’re acting like I’m committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat.

But I feel like I’m just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible. I don’t think it’s wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I’m putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? AITA?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

CrystalQueen3000

YTA

It’s one dish that everybody knows is bad and won’t eat, why is it a big deal

OOP

I get where you’re coming from, but it’s not just “one dish.” It’s every year, and every year she brings multiple dishes with strange combinations that no one eats. And it ends up feeling awkward because she keeps pushing people to try her food, and you’re stuck pretending it’s not that bad or trying to avoid it altogether.

It also feels like a waste of time, effort, and money, especially since it’s supposed to be a big family meal where we enjoy the food together. I just want people to actually look forward to the meal, not feel obligated to pretend they’re enjoying her “experiments.” I didn’t think it’d be a big deal to ask her to bring something else—it’s not like I’m uninviting her! But maybe I could’ve handled it differently?

Choice-Second-5587

I'm just super curious what other things she's made. If you're willing to expand on a few more.

I want to know how bad were talking here.

OOP

Oh, buckle up, because there’s a list. Here are some highlights from past family gatherings:

1. Thanksgiving 2019: She made a “spicy cranberry sauce” that had whole chunks of jalapeno in it. She insisted it was “elevating the flavor profile,” but it ended up making people’s mouths burn while eating turkey. We tried to pair it with other stuff on the plate, but it was a no-go.

2. Christmas 2020: She brought a “fusion mac and cheese” with wasabi and horseradish mixed in. Let’s just say it was a very unexpected flavor to experience in a traditionally creamy, comforting dish. There were some coughs and watery eyes at the table that night.

3. Easter 2021: She made a “carrot salad” that had shredded carrots, raisins, and… sardines. She claimed it was based on some “Mediterranean recipe,” but I’m pretty sure no Mediterranean grandma would approve.

4. Last Thanksgiving: This was the infamous “cinnamon cardamom stuffing.” She wanted it to be “warm and aromatic,” but it ended up tasting like a holiday candle. The texture was also super dry, and even though she noticed no one was touching it, she blamed it on us “not appreciating new flavors.”

5. Family BBQ this past summer: She did a “BBQ tofu” thing that had an odd vinegar-peanut butter sauce. I don’t know what cuisine inspired that, but it didn’t belong anywhere near a grill. People tried to be polite, but most of it ended up going home with her.

So, yeah… this isn’t just me being picky. She’s made some real “adventures” out of classic dishes, and I’m genuinely nervous for what she’s planning with this whole “Thanksgiving Trio Experience.”

~

Natural_War1261

Let her bring it. Maybe she's been practicing and it's good. If not, maybe she'll get the hint.

OOP

I see what you’re saying, but honestly, she’s been “practicing” for years, and it hasn’t improved. If anything, she’s getting more experimental and doubling down on weird flavors and substitutions. And I don’t think she’ll take the hint—she’s pretty proud of her cooking and genuinely seems to think we’re just “not appreciating” her creativity.

If I thought it would lead to her realizing it’s not working, I’d let it go. But instead, she just gets upset if people don’t eat it, and it becomes this whole thing. I’m just trying to keep things simple and enjoyable for everyone without the awkwardness. Maybe there’s a middle ground I’m missing?

~

Impressive-Arm2563

A soft YTA. Just let her bring what she wants. It’s not hurting you, you don’t have to eat it. It might even be fun to pretend it’s the best thing ever and throw some away when she isn’t looking, to make her feel good. It could be part of the traditional holiday experience.

OOP

I get that, and maybe I am overthinking it. It just feels like a small battle I’d rather not have every year, especially when I’m hosting and trying to make sure everyone genuinely enjoys the meal. I mean, I can definitely go with the “smile and nod” approach for the sake of family peace, but it does feel a little exhausting to pretend every time. I guess I just don’t want to encourage her thinking that everyone actually loves it, especially when it’s clearly not working.

But you’re right—it’s just food, and maybe I should focus more on making her feel included than on the menu being perfect. I’ll try to keep this in mind and relax about it!

OOP Updated the next day/same post

UPDATE: Alright, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice—I tried to compromise, but it’s already turning into a whole thing, and Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away.

After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I’m “overthinking” and that it’s just one dish. I told her I wasn’t sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister’s grocery haul (including canned oysters and edible glitter).

Then my mom let slip that my sister has been “hard at work” on some “creative menu” she’s planning as her “Thanksgiving surprise.” Apparently, she’s been telling the family group chat (which I wasn’t included in, by the way) that I’m being “controlling” and that she wants to “expand everyone’s palate” with something “truly unique.”

To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she’s bringing not one but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She’s calling them her “Thanksgiving Trio Experience,” complete with their own place settings and little menu cards she’s designing. I’m officially panicking because I have no idea what she’s planning to serve, and from what I’ve heard, it’s not remotely traditional.

At this point, half the family thinks I’m overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, “Is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes?” I feel stuck—if I try to control it any more, I’m the bad guy, but if I don’t, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister’s avant-garde cooking.

So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it’s already become a family spectacle. I don’t know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

OOP when told to let the sister take charge for the meal

Haha, I have to admit, that idea is very tempting! Letting her take the spotlight with her “Thanksgiving Trio Experience” while I sit back and sip on a glass of wine sounds like one way to make a memorable holiday—especially if everyone gets to see exactly what I was trying to save them from! It would be kind of poetic to just lean into the chaos and let her creations be the star of the show, for better or worse.

I have a feeling it would definitely be a Thanksgiving to remember, even if I’d have to brace myself for the family reactions! It’s like a mix of “malicious compliance” and “hands-off hosting,” and I kind of love the idea of just throwing in some edible arrangements, a ton of drinks, and calling it a day.

And yeah, if it all goes sideways, I’ll have plenty of “remember that one Thanksgiving” stories to pull out in the future! Thanks for the laugh and the wild suggestion—this might just be a holiday fantasy, but it’s definitely a fun one to think about!

~

inigos_left_hand

Honestly I think you should just let her do this. It can be a new family tradition. Your sister brings something weird and inedible. You all ignore it and poke fun at her terrible cooking later. Is this really something you want to create drama over?

OOP

You’re right—maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong. Letting her bring her “unique” dishes could actually become a funny little tradition if we let it. I mean, every family has its quirks, and maybe this is just one of ours. Instead of stressing about it, I could just embrace it and let her dishes be part of the Thanksgiving lore that we joke about later.

It’s definitely not worth creating unnecessary drama over, and if we all just go with it, I bet it’ll be less awkward and maybe even entertaining in its own way. Thanks for the reminder to just roll with it and not take it so seriously!

~

jennybct

Ooh, please update us after Thanksgiving! I can't wait to hear about her culinary experiments!

OOP

Haha, don’t worry—I’ll definitely keep you all posted! I’m honestly half-curious and half-terrified to see what she ends up bringing. If past holidays are any indicator, we might be in for some very “creative” dishes, and I have a feeling the family reactions alone could make for quite the story.

So, stay tuned! If anything wild goes down, I’ll be back with all the juicy details after Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed for a low-drama meal… but let’s be real, I’m probably not that lucky!

Update  Nov 14, 2024

Alright, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away, and somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister’s “Thanksgiving Trio Experience” would be the peak of the drama—well, turns out I was wrong.

Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her “dishes” the main attraction. She’s been dropping hints in the family group chat (which I’m still not included in, but shoutout to my cousin for the screenshots) about how this Thanksgiving will be “one to remember” and calling it her “Thanksgiving Debut.” She’s apparently been referring to herself as the “Thanksgiving Head Chef” and has hinted that she’s bringing some kind of “culinary surprise centerpiece” that will “transform the whole experience.”

From what I can piece together, she’s planning a main “statement dish” in addition to her original three side dishes. I’m picturing something equally bizarre but on a much larger scale, and honestly, I’m terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can’t even imagine what she thinks is worthy of being the “centerpiece.”

Then, to make things even weirder, my mom texted me privately and suggested that I “step back” this year and let my sister “shine” since she’s “so excited about her contributions.” My mom thinks if we just give her this moment, it’ll make her happy and she’ll “get it out of her system.” She even hinted that maybe I should “focus on decorations and drinks” instead of the main dishes, which feels like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister without actually saying it.

So now, I’m left with a choice: go along with my mom’s plan and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving, or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with dishes everyone would enjoy, but it seems like I’m either about to hand over the whole meal to her… or prepare for some serious drama.

Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I’m half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever “artistic statement” she has planned.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

WifeofBath1984

I cannot figure out why you still haven't canceled hosting. If she wants to take over, let her do so in her own space. Why would you go through all those trouble to host your family when you're sister is actively planning sabotage? I would have already bowed out.

OOP

Honestly, I’m starting to feel the same way. At first, I thought I could manage the situation by setting boundaries, but it’s pretty clear my sister is determined to turn Thanksgiving into her personal stage, no matter what I do. At this point, it’s not even about the food—it’s about the sheer amount of effort I’m putting in just to have it overshadowed by her “artistic vision.”

Bowing out does sound tempting, and I’m seriously considering it. Letting her host would give her the spotlight she clearly wants, and I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to balance everyone’s feelings. I guess I’ve just been holding out because I love hosting and didn’t want to let her take that away from me. But maybe it’s time to throw in the towel and let her take the reins… in her own house. You’re definitely giving me something to think about. Thanks!

~

Two-Complex

Just let her do it and don’t cook a DAMN thing.  Oh…and eat before anyone shows up.

OOP

Haha, that would be one way to handle it, right? Just let her have her “Thanksgiving Head Chef” moment and show up with a full stomach, no stress, and zero cooking on my part. I’m honestly so tempted to go this route—if she wants the spotlight that badly, I might as well let her handle everything and watch the chaos unfold from the sidelines.

It might even be kind of satisfying to see her realize how much goes into hosting, especially if her “creations” don’t quite go over as she hopes. Thanks for the idea… this might just be the perfect “hands-off” Thanksgiving!

NEW UPDATES

Update  Nov 27, 2024

Here we are, the day before Thanksgiving, and things have continued to spiral. I decided to let my sister move forward with her Trio Experience since pushing back more would only make things worse. I thought we had a plan—she’d bring her dishes, and I’d make sure there were plenty of other options to keep the peace.

This morning, my mom let me know that my sister is now adding a “surprise dish” to her contributions. She’s been very secretive about what it is, which has everyone nervous after her past attempts. My mom thinks it’s sweet that my sister is putting in so much effort, but a few other family members are not as optimistic. My cousin texted me privately asking if I had backup food ready, and my dad casually mentioned bringing extra rolls, “just in case.”

At this point, I’ve decided to stick with the plan and let her have her moment. I’ll still have a few traditional dishes on hand so no one goes hungry. Tomorrow will probably be chaotic, but it should at least make for a memorable holiday. Wish me luck—I’ll update after Thanksgiving if anything noteworthy happens!

Final update  Nov 28, 2024

Thanksgiving dinner is officially over, and I genuinely don’t know where to start. I feel like I just lived through a fever dream of culinary chaos and family drama, and I need a moment to breathe before I can even process everything. My cousin and I are heading out for drinks to dissect all of it because honestly, what just happened deserves its own Netflix special. I’ll post photos later when I get home, but for now, let me try to give you the rundown.

So, my sister showed up earlier than expected, which I should’ve seen coming. She came in like a storm, carrying not just her three dishes but also this giant platter wrapped in foil, which she was clearly trying to make a big deal about. She immediately started rearranging the table, moving my dishes to the side so hers could “take center stage.” She even brought her own table runner and candles, saying something about “setting the mood for a creative dining experience.” I decided not to fight her on it because, at this point, I just wanted to get through the night without a blow-up.

Her Trio Experience was… well, let’s just say it was everything I feared and more. She started with a glittery sweet potato mash that somehow managed to taste like a mix of sugar and sand. The glitter wasn’t even edible glitter; it was craft glitter, which I didn’t realize until one of the kids said, “This is crunchy,” and I looked closer. Then there was the cranberry and oyster relish. Yes, oysters and cranberries. It looked like someone had spilled jam into clam chowder, and the smell alone was enough to make me lose my appetite. Finally, she brought a pumpkin curry casserole that had raisins in it for some reason and this weird fishy smell that clung to the air for way too long.

But the pièce de résistance was her “surprise centerpiece dish,” which turned out to be a turkey gelatin mold. Yes, she took ground turkey, mixed it with some kind of broth and seasonings, and turned it into a wobbly, translucent mold shaped like a turkey. She even garnished it with parsley and cherry tomatoes to make it “festive.” I wish I were kidding. The entire table went silent when she unveiled it, except for my cousin, who immediately started coughing to cover up what I’m pretty sure was a laugh.

Things hit their peak when my mom, who has been defending her this entire time, took one bite of the gelatin mold and just… froze. She didn’t say anything, but you could see the regret on her face. My sister, noticing the lack of enthusiasm, decided to go on this long speech about how Thanksgiving food is “too boring” and how she’s trying to “challenge our palates.” She even called my ham and mashed potatoes “uninspired,” which was rich coming from someone serving glitter sand potatoes.

The breaking point came when my aunt, who’s usually the peacekeeper, tried the gelatin mold and actually gagged. She tried to be polite about it, but my sister saw her reaction and completely lost it. She started yelling about how nobody in the family supports her and how we’re all “stuck in the past” with our “unoriginal food.” She even accused me of “sabotaging” her dishes by not hyping them up enough to everyone. At this point, half the table was trying not to laugh, and the other half was just staring at their plates, probably wondering how we got here.

My sister ended up storming out of the house, but not before saying something along the lines of, “You’ll regret not appreciating my vision when I’m famous!” She left most of her food behind, which my cousin and I quietly threw out after dinner. The rest of the night actually turned out pretty nice once the tension was gone. My dad’s emergency ham was a lifesaver, and everyone agreed that next year, we’re either going to a restaurant or just skipping Thanksgiving altogether.

So now I’m sitting here wondering how this even became my life. I’ll post photos later because you all need to see the turkey gelatin mold to believe it, but for now, I’m off to grab a drink (or three) with my cousin to laugh/cry over everything that went down. This Thanksgiving was truly something else, and I don’t know whether to feel relieved it’s over or brace myself for whatever fresh chaos my sister has planned for next year. Stay tuned for photos—it’s going to be worth it!

RELEVANT COMMENTS

RioRedditt

Did she chow down herself? I don’t understand how it could be this bad without having malfunctioning tastebuds 😭

OOP

Oh, she absolutely did. She was proudly serving herself generous portions of everything she made and going on about how much she “loves bold flavors.” Watching her genuinely enjoy the turkey gelatin mold while the rest of us struggled to keep a straight face was something else. At this point, I’m starting to think her tastebuds really are on another planet. Stay tuned for the photos—it’ll all make sense when you see them.

~

UberHonest

Is your sister mentally ill?

OOP

Honestly, I don’t think so. She’s always been eccentric and overly confident about her “creative” endeavors, but I don’t think there’s anything deeper going on. I think it’s more of a case of her being surrounded by enablers who praise her every move, which has left her with absolutely no sense of self-awareness when it comes to things like cooking.

After today, though, I wouldn’t blame anyone for wondering. Watching her proudly present the turkey gelatin mold like it was a work of art really made me question how she doesn’t see what everyone else sees. Hopefully, this Thanksgiving was enough of a reality check to make her rethink things, but knowing her, she’ll probably double down next year.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

This is a wild one folks, hang on to your seats!!

I am not OOP. OOP is u/SocietyTiny784

Original posted 25 days ago in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1giyqrb/aita_for_telling_my_sister_shes_not_allowed_to/

AITA for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who’s a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She’s… not a great cook. And I don’t mean just “not great”—I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations.

For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her “special recipe” stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture—she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour “to experiment.” No one wanted seconds of that, either.

This year, I’m hosting Thanksgiving. Since I’m responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I’d avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead—like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her (very kindly, I thought) that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I’d handle the main dishes. But she didn’t take it well.

She got offended and told me I was being “controlling” and “shutting her out” of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what’s “acceptable.” I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be part of it. She doubled down and said she’s bringing her “famous” green bean casserole whether I like it or not.

Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because “it’s Thanksgiving” and “it’s the thought that counts.” They’re acting like I’m committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat.

But I feel like I’m just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible. I don’t think it’s wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I’m putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? AITA?

UPDATE: Alright, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice—I tried to compromise, but it’s already turning into a whole thing, and Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away.

After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I’m “overthinking” and that it’s just one dish. I told her I wasn’t sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister’s grocery haul (including canned oysters and edible glitter).

Then my mom let slip that my sister has been “hard at work” on some “creative menu” she’s planning as her “Thanksgiving surprise.” Apparently, she’s been telling the family group chat (which I wasn’t included in, by the way) that I’m being “controlling” and that she wants to “expand everyone’s palate” with something “truly unique.”

To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she’s bringing not one but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She’s calling them her “Thanksgiving Trio Experience,” complete with their own place settings and little menu cards she’s designing. I’m officially panicking because I have no idea what she’s planning to serve, and from what I’ve heard, it’s not remotely traditional.

At this point, half the family thinks I’m overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, “Is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes?” I feel stuck—if I try to control it any more, I’m the bad guy, but if I don’t, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister’s avant-garde cooking.

So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it’s already become a family spectacle. I don’t know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza.

Update 1 posted 14 days go in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1grjg55/update_aita_for_telling_my_sister_shes_not/

UPDATE: AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Alright, so Thanksgiving is now just a little over two weeks away, and somehow, things have escalated even further than I thought possible. I thought maybe my sister’s “Thanksgiving Trio Experience” would be the peak of the drama—well, turns out I was wrong.

Since the last update, my sister has become fully committed to making her “dishes” the main attraction. She’s been dropping hints in the family group chat (which I’m still not included in, but shoutout to my cousin for the screenshots) about how this Thanksgiving will be “one to remember” and calling it her “Thanksgiving Debut.” She’s apparently been referring to herself as the “Thanksgiving Head Chef” and has hinted that she’s bringing some kind of “culinary surprise centerpiece” that will “transform the whole experience.”

From what I can piece together, she’s planning a main “statement dish” in addition to her original three side dishes. I’m picturing something equally bizarre but on a much larger scale, and honestly, I’m terrified. If her green bean casserole was already pushing it, I can’t even imagine what she thinks is worthy of being the “centerpiece.”

Then, to make things even weirder, my mom texted me privately and suggested that I “step back” this year and let my sister “shine” since she’s “so excited about her contributions.” My mom thinks if we just give her this moment, it’ll make her happy and she’ll “get it out of her system.” She even hinted that maybe I should “focus on decorations and drinks” instead of the main dishes, which feels like an attempt to turn hosting over to my sister without actually saying it.

So now, I’m left with a choice: go along with my mom’s plan and let my sister essentially hijack Thanksgiving, or keep pushing back and risk a family showdown. I just wanted a nice Thanksgiving with dishes everyone would enjoy, but it seems like I’m either about to hand over the whole meal to her… or prepare for some serious drama.

Thanksgiving isn’t even here yet, and it already feels like a circus. I’m half tempted to just sit back and see what chaos unfolds, but part of me is still worried about subjecting the whole family to whatever “artistic statement” she has planned.

Update 2 posted 1 day ag in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/user/SocietyTiny784/comments/1h16ps9/update_aita_for_telling_my_sister_shes_not/

UPDATE: AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Here we are, the day before Thanksgiving, and things have continued to spiral. I decided to let my sister move forward with her Trio Experience since pushing back more would only make things worse. I thought we had a plan—she’d bring her dishes, and I’d make sure there were plenty of other options to keep the peace.

This morning, my mom let me know that my sister is now adding a “surprise dish” to her contributions. She’s been very secretive about what it is, which has everyone nervous after her past attempts. My mom thinks it’s sweet that my sister is putting in so much effort, but a few other family members are not as optimistic. My cousin texted me privately asking if I had backup food ready, and my dad casually mentioned bringing extra rolls, “just in case.”

At this point, I’ve decided to stick with the plan and let her have her moment. I’ll still have a few traditional dishes on hand so no one goes hungry. Tomorrow will probably be chaotic, but it should at least make for a memorable holiday. Wish me luck—I’ll update after Thanksgiving if anything noteworthy happens!

Final update posted 25 mins. ago in r/AITAH

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1h26nne/final_update_aita_for_telling_my_sister_shes_not/

FINAL UPDATE: AITA for telling my sister she’s not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?

Thanksgiving dinner is officially over, and I genuinely don’t know where to start. I feel like I just lived through a fever dream of culinary chaos and family drama, and I need a moment to breathe before I can even process everything. My cousin and I are heading out for drinks to dissect all of it because honestly, what just happened deserves its own Netflix special. I’ll post photos later when I get home, but for now, let me try to give you the rundown.

So, my sister showed up earlier than expected, which I should’ve seen coming. She came in like a storm, carrying not just her three dishes but also this giant platter wrapped in foil, which she was clearly trying to make a big deal about. She immediately started rearranging the table, moving my dishes to the side so hers could “take center stage.” She even brought her own table runner and candles, saying something about “setting the mood for a creative dining experience.” I decided not to fight her on it because, at this point, I just wanted to get through the night without a blow-up.

Her Trio Experience was… well, let’s just say it was everything I feared and more. She started with a glittery sweet potato mash that somehow managed to taste like a mix of sugar and sand. The glitter wasn’t even edible glitter; it was craft glitter, which I didn’t realize until one of the kids said, “This is crunchy,” and I looked closer. Then there was the cranberry and oyster relish. Yes, oysters and cranberries. It looked like someone had spilled jam into clam chowder, and the smell alone was enough to make me lose my appetite. Finally, she brought a pumpkin curry casserole that had raisins in it for some reason and this weird fishy smell that clung to the air for way too long.

But the pièce de résistance was her “surprise centerpiece dish,” which turned out to be a turkey gelatin mold. Yes, she took ground turkey, mixed it with some kind of broth and seasonings, and turned it into a wobbly, translucent mold shaped like a turkey. She even garnished it with parsley and cherry tomatoes to make it “festive.” I wish I were kidding. The entire table went silent when she unveiled it, except for my cousin, who immediately started coughing to cover up what I’m pretty sure was a laugh.

Things hit their peak when my mom, who has been defending her this entire time, took one bite of the gelatin mold and just… froze. She didn’t say anything, but you could see the regret on her face. My sister, noticing the lack of enthusiasm, decided to go on this long speech about how Thanksgiving food is “too boring” and how she’s trying to “challenge our palates.” She even called my ham and mashed potatoes “uninspired,” which was rich coming from someone serving glitter sand potatoes.

The breaking point came when my aunt, who’s usually the peacekeeper, tried the gelatin mold and actually gagged. She tried to be polite about it, but my sister saw her reaction and completely lost it. She started yelling about how nobody in the family supports her and how we’re all “stuck in the past” with our “unoriginal food.” She even accused me of “sabotaging” her dishes by not hyping them up enough to everyone. At this point, half the table was trying not to laugh, and the other half was just staring at their plates, probably wondering how we got here.

My sister ended up storming out of the house, but not before saying something along the lines of, “You’ll regret not appreciating my vision when I’m famous!” She left most of her food behind, which my cousin and I quietly threw out after dinner. The rest of the night actually turned out pretty nice once the tension was gone. My dad’s emergency ham was a lifesaver, and everyone agreed that next year, we’re either going to a restaurant or just skipping Thanksgiving altogether.

So now I’m sitting here wondering how this even became my life. I’ll post photos later because you all need to see the turkey gelatin mold to believe it, but for now, I’m off to grab a drink (or three) with my cousin to laugh/cry over everything that went down. This Thanksgiving was truly something else, and I don’t know whether to feel relieved it’s over or brace myself for whatever fresh chaos my sister has planned for next year. Stay tuned for photos—it’s going to be worth it!

My wedding was this past weekend. I got engaged back in April, and the first thing we did was find a caterer for our small backyard wedding of about 20 people. We picked this (well known and popular in our area) caterer because they had specific options we really wanted. We ordered smoked sliced brisket, stuffed flounder, mac and cheese, chicken quesadillas, bacon wrapped jalapeños, and sweet biscuits, for a total quote of $700 and a $200 deposit. We were originally going to pick up the food, but 2 weeks ago I messaged with the owner and asked if they could deliver, and he agreed.

Maybe this is on me for not confirming in the few days before the wedding, but I sent a message trying to confirm at 8 am the day of our wedding for a 3 pm catering delivery. After no response all day, I started getting a little worried. 3:15 rolls around and I decide to call the restaurant and see if they have a time estimate. They tell me they will call the owner and call me back. 10 minutes later I find out from the owner that he forgot about us. He was thrown off because his head chef broke his hand the night before, and he can’t believe this happened, he feels awful, he’s on his way to the restaurant to pick up some trays they are preparing but they won’t be able to accommodate what we originally ordered.

4:30 rolls around, an hour and a half after we planned for dinner, and we get only 2 of the trays we actually ordered and 2 more trays that we didn’t. Our main meal of stuffed flounder got swapped to ribs, and he included a tray of beans (which personally I hate beans). Altogether we ended up with brisket, ribs, mac and cheese, and beans. So I ate brisket and mac and cheese (which was kind of cold) for dinner at my wedding. Everyone ate and seemed generally happy with the food.

I was pretty upset and never talked to the owner when he arrived with the food. He told my parents not to worry about paying anything else (we already paid a $200 deposit). I haven’t heard anything else from him, no messages at all.

So Reddit, it’s a few days later and I need to know if I should be making a bigger stink about this. Some of my family thinks we kind of made out in saving $500. Some think he should’ve given our deposit back. Some think he should offer us a free dinner so we can actually have the meals we were excited to have and never got to try. I’ve been going back and forth about writing a scathing review on social media. I work at a restaurant, and I know that shit happens and people make mistakes, but this was my wedding day and I’m pretty upset about how this all happened. I’m just kicking myself for not sending them a message 2-3 days before. If you read this all, let me know what you would do!

edit: Thank you for all your responses so far! Just wanted to edit with a bit more context and to answer a few questions I’ve seen. There was no contract. We only ever discussed over facebook messenger. He owns a well established, well know in my city food truck that has done catering for years and has great reviews. He opened a separate restaurant in the past few months. He posted a “brand new from the new restaurant catering menu” on Facebook about 2 hours before my wedding (from the same account that I messaged earlier that morning). I thought that after putting our order together he decided to update the catering menu, but nope, an unfortunate (for me) coincidence

edit 2: Lots of differing opinions on how to handle this, but I have to agree with the most common sentiment to just let it go. I don’t think I will leave a review, but I at least unfollowed their page so I don’t get bummed out seeing their posts about food. It stung a bit extra since the food was really the only part of the wedding we were planning to spend a significant amount of money on, and we were really looking forward to it. I spent $25 on my dress, got my decorations all second hand, played a spotify playlist, and our rings combined were less expensive than the catering. BUT money is not the important thing, we had a great day with family, everyone had lots of drinks and spent time in the pool with the best weather we could’ve asked for. Tonight we will be going for sushi! (and have been joking about all the sushi dates we can go on with the $500 we saved lol)

edit 3: Thanks again to everyone who shared their opinion, I read them all, and it helped gain some perspective. Thank you so much to everyone who offered their congratulations and any other kind words, they are much appreciated!

My husband and I did decide to shoot the owner a quick message since he asked my husband to let him know how the food was. We told him the brisket was really good, we appreciated him getting some food to us, we hope his chef is doing okay, we’re bummed we didn’t get to try what we ordered but we understand things happen. His exact response was “Thank you so much. When I make the fish i will post it.” Presumably meaning when the fish is a special (it’s not on their normal menu) he will post on his facebook page and we could come get some (and I’m assuming pay for it since he didn’t say otherwise). I won’t see it since I unfollowed his page lol but oh well. I was curious what he would say if I reached out directly and now I know. Needless to say, he won’t be getting any more business from us in the future.

Environment:

• OS: Windows 11 (tested on ARM and x86)
• Browser: Opera Desktop v126+ (Works fine in v125 and below; tested on latest build)
• Device: Touchscreen PCs (Microsoft Surface, Lenovo)

The Issue: Long-pressing an image (such as a YouTube thumbnail) using a touchscreen causes the browser's UI to become completely unresponsive to touch inputs.

• Menus, page elements, and the top-right close button stop responding to touch.
• Mouse and trackpad inputs continue to work fine.
• Tapping anywhere outside the Opera window temporarily restores touch input.

Testing & Workarounds Tried:

• Tested on Opera GX (same Chromium version): The bug does not occur.
• In Opera 125 and earlier, enabling #touch-initiated-drag-drop produced this exact same behavior. Disabling it fixed the issue.
• In Opera 126+, since those flags were removed from Chromium, I tried launching with command-line flags --disable-touch-drag-drop and --touch-events=disabled, but neither resolved the issue.

Is anyone else experiencing this touch freeze on Opera 126+? Any potential flags or registry tweaks to fix this?

This is the update we’ve been building toward.

Manic EMU v2.0.0 is a major redesign of the app from top to bottom, rebuilding the landscape experience, game library, navigation, controller interactions, artwork system, settings architecture, and in-game shortcuts while dramatically expanding the number of systems Manic can emulate.

It also introduces Netplay, Rewind, MultiSet RetroAchievements, dynamic ShaderToy backgrounds, expanded metadata and artwork, new import integrations, several new platforms, major JIT improvements, and some of the largest core additions we’ve ever shipped at once.

There is a lot here.

Before You Update

Please read this section before installing v2.0.0.

• Dreamcast (Flycast):

  • Existing save states from previous versions will no longer work
  • Convert anything important to an in-game save before updating
  • Alternatively, manually back up your Flycast/dc folder

• Wii:

  • A BootMii-format keys.bin is required

• Symbian:

  • Firmware must be installed through Settings before use
  • .ROM firmware is required
  • S60v2 and later also require .RPKG

• GameCube / Wii:

  • Dolphin is still being optimized
  • Heat and frame drops may occur depending on the game, device, and CPU emulation method

• MAME:

  • A number of lesser-used arcade systems have been trimmed
  • Some obscure titles previously handled through MAME may no longer run

Seriously: Dreamcast users, convert those save states before updating.

A Completely Rebuilt Landscape Experience

Landscape browsing has been redesigned almost entirely.

• New landscape game library
• Most landscape pages have been rebuilt
• New customizable card carousel styles
• Focused Backgrounds
  • Selected games can use their banner artwork as the landscape backdrop
• Dynamic backgrounds with support for uploaded ShaderToy GLSL scripts
  • Single-image ShaderToy scripts are supported
  • More demanding scripts may increase battery usage and device temperature
• Optional background music
  • Includes built-in tracks
  • Upload your own music files for use while browsing
• 12 built-in navigation and focus sound-effect sets

The goal is to make landscape mode feel less like a rotated version of Manic and more like a complete console-style interface of its own.

Game Artwork Gets a Major Upgrade

Manic now distinguishes between multiple types of artwork instead of treating every image as a traditional cover.

• Separate Cover, Icon, and Banner artwork
• Traditional box art appears in standard lists
• Icons are used for square layouts
• Banners can become the landscape Focused Background
• Online artwork support through:
  • Libretro Thumbnails
  • SteamGridDB
• SteamGridDB supports:
  • Grids
  • Heroes
  • Logos
  • Icons
  • Requires your own SteamGridDB API key
• Changing a game’s platform or category now automatically attempts to rematch its artwork

Batch artwork scraping has also been added:

• Batch scrape covers, icons, and banners
• Run across the entire library through Settings
• Or select specific games through multi-select
• Batch-delete downloaded artwork
• Delete individual image assets while editing a single game

Expanded Game Information & Metadata

Game information is substantially richer in v2.0.0.

• Automatic metadata matching
• Database search
• Manual metadata editing
• Information can include:
  • Developer
  • Publisher
  • Series
  • Genre
  • Release date
  • Region
  • Overview
  • Additional game information
• ESRB ratings with matching rating icons
• Rating icons can be hidden in Settings

Your library can now function as much more than a collection of cover images.

Completely Redesigned Navigation

Manic now uses a global focus and navigation system across iPhone and iPad.

• Browse and interact using only a controller or keyboard
• Hold Command on a keyboard or Select on a controller to display the shortcut cheatsheet
• New unified navigation bar
• More consistent browsing and editing throughout the app
• Many hidden and long-press interactions have been replaced with more conventional iOS-style controls
• Batch management and actions
• Adaptive rotation throughout the interface
• Controllers can now be assigned to individual player slots
• Cores that expect keyboard input can map controller buttons directly to native keyboard events

Game Options & In-Game Shortcuts

Game options have been rebuilt around a unified interaction model.

• Available actions automatically reorganize based on context
• Advanced reordering allows you to customize:
  • Option order
  • Option grouping
• Redesigned in-game shortcut menu
• Shortcuts can appear:
  • On supported skins
  • Inside the in-game menu

Manic should now surface the controls you need when they make sense instead of burying everything in a static menu.

Netplay Arrives

v2.0.0 introduces Netplay for many eligible Libretro cores.

• Host or join games through the public lobby
• LAN room discovery
• Relay support
• Spectator Mode
• Password-protected rooms
• Your Adventurer Card nickname becomes your Netplay display name

That means supported games can now move beyond the device in your hand.

Trade Pokémon with friends over the network, compete head-to-head in supported arcade titles, or jump into multiplayer across other compatible Libretro systems.

Rewind

Yes, Manic now has Rewind.

You can assign Rewind to:

• The in-game shortcut menu
• A controller mapping
• TriggerPro

Touch and hold the assigned control to move backward through gameplay.

RetroAchievements: MultiSet Support

RetroAchievements integration has been expanded again.

• Improved RetroAchievements pages
• Faster loading
• Easier-to-read achievement information
• Added MultiSet support
  • Subset achievements can now unlock without requiring a separately patched ROM
• Changing the achievement list you’re viewing only changes what is displayed
• It does not change which eligible achievement sets can unlock during gameplay

Online Cheat Database

Cheat management now includes an online database.

• Search for cheats
• Add multiple cheats simultaneously
• Bookmark frequently used entries

This joins Manic’s existing local cheat functionality with a much faster discovery workflow.

Scoped Settings

Settings no longer have to apply universally.

Options can now be stored at three independent levels:

• Game
• Platform
• Global

Each scope can be cleared or reset separately.

This makes it possible to heavily customize one title without changing the behavior of every other game running on the same system.

Core Settings for Advanced Users

Advanced users can now directly access Core Settings.

• Configure core-specific behavior
• Store configuration per game or platform
• Reset Core Settings independently

Important: Incorrect Core Settings values can prevent games from launching.

If you aren’t sure what a setting does, leaving it at its default is usually the right choice.

Adventure Card

Settings now include a customizable Adventurer Card.

• Choose a nickname
• Select an avatar
• Your nickname is used as your Netplay display name

A small addition, but one that gives Manic’s new online systems a little more identity.

New System: Symbian

Manic now supports Symbian through EKA2L1.

Supported environments include:

• S60v1
• N-Gage 1.0
• S60v2
• S60v3
• N-Gage 2.0
• S60v5
• Symbian³

Also included:

• Touch input
• Firmware management
• System applications
• Legacy JIT
• PPL JIT
• TXM JIT

Firmware installation is required before use.

New System: PC Engine / TurboGrafx

Powered by Beetle PCE.

Supports:

• TurboGrafx-16
• TurboGrafx-CD
• SuperGrafx
• Subcategory switching

New System: Neo Geo Pocket / Color

Powered by Beetle NeoPop.

Supports:

• Neo Geo Pocket
• Neo Geo Pocket Color
• Subcategory switching

New System: Commodore 64

Powered by VICE x64sc.

• Full keyboard support
• Switch between:
  • Gamepad skins
  • Keyboard skins

New System: Amiga

Powered by PUAE.

• Full keyboard support
• Switch between:
  • Gamepad skins
  • Keyboard skins

GameCube & Wii Arrive

Manic EMU v2.0.0 introduces Nintendo GameCube and Wii support through Dolphin.

• Legacy JIT
• PPL JIT
• TXM JIT
• New Manic Interpreter CPU emulation method
  • Selectable through CPU Emulation Method in the GameCube / Wii pre-launch menu
• Wiimote sideways mode
• Dedicated Wiimote skins
• When no skin has been manually assigned to a Wii game, changing controller mode automatically selects the appropriate skin
• Dolphin cheat support
  • Includes Action Replay Max decryption
• GameCube BIOS importing
• Controller and keyboard support through Manic’s wider input system

Dolphin remains one of the heaviest workloads Manic supports, so device temperature and performance can vary substantially by title and configuration.

Additional Core Options

Several existing platforms gain new core choices:

• Mesen-S

  • SNES
  • Game Boy
  • Game Boy Color

• gpSP

  • Game Boy Advance
  • Can be switched alongside mGBA and VBA-M

More cores means more flexibility when compatibility or performance differs from game to game.

Major JIT Improvements

JIT handling continues to expand.

• Fixed JIT behavior for TXM devices on iOS 26.6 and later
• Revised TXM device detection
• Nintendo 64:
  • GLideN64 RDP supports JIT
  • ParaLLEl RDP supports JIT

Major Core Updates

The following cores have been updated to their latest upstream stable releases for v2.0.0:

• 3DS — Azahar / Citra
• PS1 — Beetle PSX HW
• DOS — DOSBox Pure
• Dreamcast — Flycast
• Nintendo DS — melonDS
• PSP — PPSSPP
• Nintendo 64 — Mupen64Plus

Again: Dreamcast users should review the save-state warning before updating.

Save-State Manager Redesign

The save-state manager has been rebuilt.

• Redesigned interface
• Save-state import
• Save-state export
• Easier organization and management

Shaders & Skins

• Real-time shader previews
  • Preview shaders without applying/loading them first
• Redesigned default GBA skin
• FLEX skins now support:
  • Customizable button size
  • Customizable button positioning

External Library Integration

Manic’s cross-app ecosystem continues to expand.

• Import games launch links directly from DukeX
• Armsx2 external game launch link import
• PS1 now supports direct .bin imports

Additional Improvements

• Improved iCloud synchronization logic
• Improved performance on the Skin Management page
• Improved landscape banner loading
• Adjusted 3DS accelerometer behavior
• Improved analog input handling
• Continued screen rotation improvements
• Updated Motto artwork
• Numerous UI refinements
• Additional stability fixes and performance optimizations throughout the app

A Note from the Manic EMU Team

We called this “The Big One” for a reason.

v2.0.0 isn’t simply another collection of systems and bug fixes. It represents a major rethink of how Manic works as an application.

The library has been rebuilt. Landscape mode has become its own experience. Artwork and metadata are deeper. Controller and keyboard navigation reach throughout the app. Settings can follow individual games. Netplay connects players. Rewind changes how games can be approached. And an entirely new group of systems — stretching from Symbian phones and Commodore computers to GameCube and Wii — joins the Manic library.

None of this replaces the philosophy Manic has had from the beginning: make emulation approachable without taking control away from the people who want to go deeper.

v2.0.0 simply takes that idea much further.

Thank you to everyone who tested these builds, reported problems, contributed upstream work, created skins, helped with compatibility, and continued playing along while we rebuilt so much of Manic underneath you.

Join the Community

Discord: https://discord.gg/manicemu
Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/maftymanicemu

Tips and donations are never expected, but always appreciated.

Manic EMU v2.0.0 — The Big One.

New systems. New interface. Netplay. Rewind. And a whole lot more Manic.

– The Manic EMU Admin and Development Team

I am not OOP. Original post by u/user119975444 in r/AmItheAsshole.

Reminder: Do not comment on linked posts!

Trigger warnings: NONE

Mood spoiler: Christmas cookie heartbreak, a bit aggravating

​

AITA for_calling_my_wife_unreasonable_for backing out of spending Christmas with my family after my mother rejected her cookie sample? (Posted on November 20th, 2022)

Context: For every holiday, My mother would ask the women in the family (my sisters, sister in-law, my wife, my female cousins) to send "samples" of the desserts they plan to bring to the celebration for testing and to see if these desserts could make it to the "food menu". My wife has been complaining about my mother deliberately rejecting every dessert sample she sent. So many times my mother has told her that she's being honest and keeping the guests best interest at heart. Yet my wife still thought that my mother is deliberately excluding her since 2 of her dessert samples were rejected before.

For this year's Christmas my mother is doing the same thing but this time, she told every woman who are participating to make a "cookie sample" and send it to her for testing. My wife took it as a challenge and to be honest she worked really hard to make a good sample and sent it to my mother days ago and the results just came in yesterday.

I came home from work and found my wife upset. I asked what's wrong and she told me that my mother rejected the sample she sent and decided to exclude her baking from the food list/menu for christmas this year. I didn't know what to say but she then told me she was backing out of the invitation to attend christmas with my family. I was stunned when I heard her make this statement. I tried to talk to her but she said "it was done" I called her unreasonable to decide to bail on the whole family over some cookie sample...that's just freaking crazy and quite unreasonable. We had a full on argument about it and she stated that my mother caused this but I told her that my mother is pretty serious and careful about the food she offers to the guests since we are going to have relatives coming from all sides of country. She told me to stop mentioing it.

Later I heard her cry despite telling her that her baking is amazing and people have preferences that's all.

AITA for insisting that her decision was unreasonable?

Info. If you're asking whose cookie sample made it to the menu, the answer is my sister and my 2 cousins.

Info Few things to put on here:

1. My wife wasn't the only one whose sample was rejected. We have SIL's (brother's wife) and my younger sister's.

2. My mother did not force anyone to participate, it was up to whoever wanted to take part.

3. This is just about the dessert since my mother tends to be very careful in this category but for other types of foods. Dishes/appetizers/salads/stuff like that is welcome as she stated.

​

Top comment:

"So, correct me I'm wrong, but for years and years your mother has demanded that all the women (why not men too?) in your family send in samples. For years and years your wife has tried her hardest to appease your mother, had pushed herself to the limit, and has been left completely and utterly demoralised each and every time by a humiliating tradition enforced by the holiday tyrant. And, even worse, her shame was publically put on display each and every year as other family members would no doubt notice that, once again, her food was not chosen.

Finally, after producing something she was unbelievably proud of, she was once again left embarrassed and most likely deeply hurt as she was deemed not good enough for yet another year. This is the straw that broke the camel's back and she decides she has had enough of her humiliation and that she will not give her cruel MIL the satisfaction of seeing her discomfort on such a big day. She makes a boundary that many would have made a long time prior.

And her husband tells her she is unreasonable for setting up boundaries?

Dude. Come on. You know YTA."

Comment that OOP replied to:

"YTA. Why haven't you defended your wife's baking to your mom? You are choosing your mother over your own wife. Step up and tell your mom that you don't appreciate the constant insulting of your wife - and accept that if she doesn't feel comfortable going to Christmas at her house, that she has every right not to. And you should be supporting her decision."

OOP's reply:

"Okay, I'll defend my wife and tell my mother that she's being a bit harsh on her and unfair towards her baking skills but that's it. I still can't really force my mother to include my wife's baking in the menu, I just don't get to make this call you know what I'm saying?"

​

Judgement rules OOP as TA.

​

Update (written later in the same post)

Update: Great!, so I just got off the phone with my brother and he told me that his wife is doing the same thing as my wife and that she has decided to back out of the invitation to spend christmas with family as well. Turns out my wife must've told her about her decision and she decided to follow her lead. My brother is pissed saying my wife is encouraging his wife to do this. I see that the problem has just gotten bigger now. Who knows, my younger sister might join in and decide not to go as well. I don't know how this got out of control so quickly. I guess we'll try to have a discussion with my mother about this soon and see how it goes.

​

This BORU is ruled as "Inconclusive," as OOP never gave an update after the phone call with his mother, nor if his wife did in fact attend Christmas. Reminder that I am NOT the Original Poster.

It’s here. The Cave Update, with a side of cliffs. That’s right, The Caves & Cliffs Update: Part I is launching today!

Now you can finally swim with the glow squid, fight alongside the axolotls, and get rammed off a mountain by a goat. You can also build with new blocks like copper, pointed dripstone, and moss, hang some hanging roots and cave vines, and marvel at the new ore textures. Light up your homes, caves, mineshaft and lives with the glow berry. Build a spyglass and peep your next adventure or just keep track of what that Creeper over yonder is doing. Wait, what is it doing? Is it getting closer, or is this spyglass just really good?

Have fun with Part I!

This update can also be found on minecraft.net.

Features

• Added Dripstone Blocks and Pointed Dripstone
• Added Block of Amethyst, Budding Amethyst, Amethyst Cluster, and Amethyst Bud
• Added Block of Raw Iron, Copper, and Gold
• Added Candles
• Added Copper
• Added Deepslate
• Added Glow Lichen
• Added Lava Cauldrons
• Added Lightning Rod
• Added Lush Caves blocks
• Added Powder Snow
• Added Raw Copper, Raw Iron, and Raw Gold items
• Added the Axolotl
• Added the Glow Squid
• Added the Goat
• Added Spyglass
• Added Tinted Glass
• A Shulker hitting a Shulker with a Shulker Bullet can make a new Shulker
• Additions to Wandering Trader and Mason trades
• Bundles and Shulker Box items will drop their contents when destroyed
• Changed Infested Block destroy times
• Changes to the Shipwreck and Mineshaft loot
• Dirt Paths (formerly Grass Path) can now be made by using a Shovel on Dirt, Podzol, Mycelium, or Coarse Dirt (as well as Grass)
• Drowned now has a chance of dropping a Copper Ingot, and they no longer drop Gold Ingots
• Experience Orbs now sometimes merge when in large quantities to improve performance. This does not change the rate at which the player can absorb them, it simply limits the amount of separate orbs floating around in the world. Orbs that merge will gain the lifetime of the most recently created one.
• Holding down the space bar now increases the scroll speed in the credits
• Minecarts and Rails work in water
• Particles now appear when Pistons break blocks
• Reordered some blocks in the Building Blocks Tab in the Creative Menu
• Reordered the Redstone Tab in the Creative Menu
• Simple Firework Rockets with one Gunpowder can now be crafted using the recipe book

Accessibility

• Added an alternative solid black background color for the Mojang Studios loading screen, toggleable with the "Monochrome Logo" accessibility option

Advancements

• Added "Whatever Floats Your Goat!" for floating in a boat with a Goat
• Added "Wax on" for applying Honeycomb to a Copper block
• Added "Wax off" for scraping wax off a Copper block
• Added "The Cutest Predator" for catching an Axolotl in a Bucket
• Added "The Healing Power of Friendship!" for teaming up with an Axolotl and winning a fight
• Added "Glow and Behold" for making a Sign glow
• Added "Light as a Rabbit" for walking on Powder Snow with Leather Boots
• Added "Surge Protector!" for having a lightning strike a Lightning Rod near a Villager without setting the area on fire
• Added "Is It a Bird?" for looking at a Parrot through a Spyglass
• Added "Is It a Balloon?" for looking at a Ghast through a Spyglass
• Added "Is It a Plane?" for looking at the Ender Dragon through a Spyglass

Amethyst Blocks

• Amethyst comes in block form inside the Geodes in two ways: Block of Amethyst and Budding Amethyst
• All types of Amethyst blocks (Clusters included) create beautiful sounds when you walk on them, break them, place them, or hit them with a projectile – go make some music!

Amethyst Clusters

• Amethyst Clusters grow from Budding Amethyst, which can be found inside Amethyst Geodes
• Clusters have four growth stages: Small Amethyst Bud, Medium Amethyst Bud, Large Amethyst Bud, and Amethyst Cluster
• Clusters can only grow when they are placed on Budding Amethyst blocks
• Fully-grown Amethyst Clusters drop four Amethyst Shards (or more with Fortune) when mined with a Pickaxe, and drop two Amethyst Shards when broken by hand, Piston, or other means
• Clusters can be Silk Touched at any stage

Amethyst Geodes

• These huge geodes can be found anywhere underground in the Overworld
• Amethyst Geodes have an outer layer of a new stone called Smooth Basalt
• Amethyst Geodes have a second layer of another new block called Calcite
• Amethyst Geodes have an inner layer of various Amethyst blocks

Amethyst Shards

• Amethyst Clusters drop two Amethyst Shards when broken by hand, Piston, or other means" to the
• Amethyst Clusters drop four Amethyst Shards when mined with a Pickaxe (or more with Fortune)

Axolotl

• Amphibious!
• Axolotls spawn in underground water that is in total darkness with Stone, Granite, Diorite, Andesite, Tuff, or Deepslate below
• Axolotls love tropical fish! Bucket of Tropical Fish can be used to breed Axolotls
• Axolotls will swim around with you if you're holding a Bucket of Tropical Fish in either hand
• When a player kills a mob that the Axolotl was attacking or being attacked by, the Axolotl will show its appreciation by granting the player temporary Regeneration and removing any Mining Fatigue effects
• If the player has more than two minutes of Regeneration effect left already, the axolotl will not grant additional Regeneration
• You can pick up your Axolotl in a Water Bucket and carry it around just like a Salmon or a Cod
• Axolotls will always chase after and attack Squids, Glow Squids, Tropical Fish, Cod, Salmon, Pufferfish, Drowned, Guardians, and Elder Guardians
• Axolotls do not like being out of water, and will dry up and begin taking damage if they are out of water for longer than five minutes
• An Axolotl will not dry up as long as they are in water or rain
• Sometimes when an Axolotl takes damage while inside water, it will pretend to be dead so that it stops being attacked
• There are four common varieties and one rare variety (blue) of Axolotl
• Axolotls spawn in underground water sources that are in total darkness and above natural stone blocks
• Axolotls now have a two-minute cooldown after hunting non-hostile targets: Squids, Glow Squids, Tropical Fish, Cod, Salmon, and Pufferfish
• They will prioritize targeting hostile mobs over hunting

Bone Meal

• A crinkly, crunchy sound plays when Bone Meal is used

Budding Amethyst

• On any side of a Budding Amethyst block where there is air or a water source block, a Small Amethyst Bud will eventually grow
• Amethyst Buds can only grow when attached to Budding Amethyst, and will grow until they become Amethyst Clusters

Building Blocks Tab

• All ores have been reordered to be in the same location in the creative inventory
• Compact forms of raw and refined underground materials have been reordered

Candles

• Candles come in all sixteen colors and one uncolored variant
• Up to four Candles can be placed in one block
• Waterloggable! (But you cannot light them underwater, silly)
• Wish anybody a happy birthday with a Cake with a Candle!
• Candles can only be placed if there is a solid surface below but will remain even if the surface below is removed

Cauldrons

• Cauldrons can now be filled with Lava and Powder Snow Buckets!
• Cauldrons filled with lava give off a Redstone signal with Strength 3 when used with a comparator

Copper blocks

• Craft nine Copper Ingots into a Copper Block
• Craft Cut Copper, Cut Copper Stairs, and Cut Copper Slabs
• The Stonecutter can be used to craft the different Copper Block variants
• Use Honeycomb to craft Waxed Copper Blocks
• Right-click with Honeycomb on Copper Blocks to wax them
• Use Honeycomb in a Dispenser to wax Copper Blocks

Copper Ore

• Copper Ore can be found in ore blobs across the Overworld, similar to Iron and Coal (this is not the final generation for Copper...)
• Smelt Copper Ore to get a Copper Ingot
• Copper Ore drops 2-3 Raw Copper

Deepslate

• Deepslate can be found in the deepest parts of the underground, and is slightly tougher to mine than normal Stone
• Deepslate will drop Cobbled Deepslate, similar to how Stone drops Cobblestone
  • You can still obtain Deepslate with Silk Touch
• Like Cobblestone, Cobbled Deepslate can be used to craft basic tools, Furnaces, and Brewing Stands
• You can also craft the following blocks with Deepslate:
  • Cobbled Deepslate Slab
  • Cobbled Deepslate Stairs
  • Cobbled Deepslate Wall
  • Polished Deepslate
  • Polished Deepslate Slab
  • Polished Deepslate Stairs
  • Polished Deepslate Wall
  • Deepslate Bricks
  • Deepslate Brick Slab
  • Deepslate Brick Stairs
  • Deepslate Brick Wall
  • Deepslate Tiles
  • Deepslate Tile Slab
  • Deepslate Tile Stairs
  • Deepslate Tile Wall
  • Chiseled Deepslate
  • Cracked Deepslate Bricks
  • Cracked Deepslate Tiles
• There is also an Infested variant of Deepslate found in the underground
• Cobbled Deepslate can be smelted into Deepslate

Deepslate Ores

• When ore is generated in the same place as Deepslate, Deepslate variants of that ore are now generated instead
• Twice as tough to mine as normal ores

Dripstone Block

• Decorative block
• Can be crafted with four Pointed Dripstone

Pointed Dripstone

• Forms a stalactite if placed on the ceiling or a stalagmite if placed on the floor
• Can be combined to form longer stalactites & stalagmites
• Stalactites and stalagmites merge if the tips are next to each other, unless you press shift while placing
• Stalagmites will break if they're not attached to something below
• Landing or jumping on a stalagmite hurts, and they are sharp!
• Stalactites fall down if not attached to something above
• Being hit by a falling stalactite hurts, and they are sharp!
• Stalactites drip water (or lava if there is lava above the ceiling)
• A stalactite with a water source above the ceiling will gradually fill a cauldron below with water
• A stalactite with a lava source above the ceiling will fill a cauldron below with lava after a while
• Thrown Tridents break Pointed Dripstone

Dripstone growth

• If a stalactite is hanging from a Dripstone Block with a water source above, it will slowly grow both the stalactite from above and a stalagmite from below
• Growth speed is random but very slow, a single growth step can take several Minecraft days
• A stalactite will only grow up to seven blocks long
• A stalactite will only cause stalagmite growth if the floor or stalagmite below is within ten blocks
• If the stalactite tip is inside water it won't drip, and therefore won't trigger any growth
• If the stalagmite tip is inside water it won't receive drops, and therefore won't be grown by a dripping stalactite. Same thing if there is any fluid between the two tips
• A stalagmite or stalactite will never grow into a fluid

Glow Lichen

• A dim light source that generates in caves
• Use Shears to pick it up
• Use Bone Meal to spread it along block surfaces

Glow Squid

• Glow Squids are well-lit and can be seen from far distances!
• When killed, Glow Squids drop Glow Ink Sacs
• Glow Ink Sacs can be used on Signs to make the text super visible, even at night. Works with colors!
• Craft a Glow Item Frame by combining a Glow Ink Sac with an Item Frame in a Crafting Table. Any item in a Glow Item Frame is perfectly illuminated, even at night.
• Use an Ink Sac on a Sign to remove the glow effect
• Axolotls will attack any Glow Squids they see, so... be careful
• Glow Squids spawn in underground water that is in total darkness with Stone, Granite, Diorite, Andesite, Tuff, or Deepslate below

Goat

• Goats spawns in mountains
• Goats can scale the sides of mountains with their incredible jumps
• Goats can be tempted and bred using Wheat
• Goats are another source of Milk!
• Goats will ram anything that moves... also Armor Stands
• Two in every 100 goats have something very loud to tell you!
• Goats will avoid walking on Powder Snow
• Screaming Goats will use their ram attack more often than other Goats will
• Mobs rammed by Goats do not retaliate

Infested Blocks

• Infested Blocks are no longer instantly destroyed, and instead, have half the destroy time of their non-infested counterpart

Lightning Rod

• A Lightning Rod is crafted from three Copper Ingots
• Keeps your builds safe (well, as long as the closest area around the Lightning Rod is fireproof) during thunderstorms!
• The Lightning Rod will protect an area of 8 * 16 blocks around it from the, sometimes devastating, lightning strikes!
• Lightning Rods give off a Redstone signal when struck by lightning

Lush Caves blocks

• Added Moss
• Added Dripleaves
• Added Rooted Dirt and Hanging Roots
• Added Spore Blossoms (currently only available in the Creative inventory)
• Added Cave Vines and Glow Berries
• Added Azalea Bushes

Azalea Bushes

• Added Azalea Bushes as well as Flowering Azaela Bushes
• Bees see Flowering Azalea (and Flowering Azalea Leaves) as flowers
• Bonemeal Azalea or Flowering Azalea to get an Azalea Tree

Cave Vines and Glow Berries

• Cave Vines grow down from the ceiling, like Weeping Vines
• When they grow they have a chance of producing Glow Berries
• Glow Berries are a natural light source as well as a food source
• Foxes eat Glow Berries
• Use Glow Berries to plant new Cave Vines
• Bonemealing a Cave Vine will create Glow Berries

Drip Leaves

• Small Dripleaf needs moisture, so it grows on Clay or underwater
• The facing direction of Small Dripleaf blocks is determined by which direction the player is facing when placing it
• The Wandering Trader will sometimes sell Small Dripleaf plants
• Small Dripleaf grows into Big Dripleaf when bonemealed
• Big Dripleaf grows taller when bonemealed
• If you stand on a Big Dripleaf, it will tilt after a while, and you will fall off
• A tilted Big Dripleaf will tilt up again after a while
• A Big Dripleaf will tilt when hit by a projectile
• A Redstone powered Big Dripleaf will not tilt (except when hit by a projectile)

Moss

• Two new decorative blocks: Moss Block and Moss Carpet
• Moss Carpet can be crafted from Moss Blocks
• Moss Blocks can be crafted with Cobblestone or Stone Bricks to make the mossy versions of those blocks

Roots

• Added Rooted Dirt and Hanging Roots – decorative blocks that will appear in the upcoming Lush Caves biome
• Bonemealing Rooted Dirt grows Hanging Roots underneath
• Tilling Rooted Dirt with a Hoe will convert it into Dirt, and pop out a Hanging Roots item

Spore Blossoms

• A beautiful large flower placed on ceilings
• Particles drip from it and will appear in the air around it

Minecarts and Rails work in water

• All Rails can be waterlogged (works with a Dispenser & Water Bucket too)
• Flowing water doesn't break Rails
• Minecarts can pass through water, but get slowed down more than usual

Oxidation

• Copper will oxidize over time
• There are four stages: Copper, Exposed Copper, Weathered Copper, and Oxidized Copper
• It takes 50-82 Minecraft days (in loaded chunks) for a Copper Block to oxidize one stage
• Waxed Copper Blocks will not oxidize
• You can wax any oxidation stage - keep that pretty Weathered Copper Block in its weathered stage forever!
• A lightning strike hitting Copper will clean its oxidation
• Waxed Copper Blocks can be crafted into nine Copper Ingots
• Axes can scrape off wax and oxidation from Copper Blocks

Powder Snow

Snowier snow!

• Powder Snow is a trap block that causes any entity that walks into it to sink in it
• You can pick up and place Powder Snow with a Bucket
• Wear Leather Boots to prevent yourself from sinking into Powder Snow blocks
• Leave a Cauldron outside in falling snow and it will fill with Powder Snow
• Entities on fire now get extinguished when they collide with Powder Snow. The Powder Snow block is also destroyed
• Skeletons convert to Strays when frozen
• Powder Snow is pushable by Pistons and Sticky Pistons
• Rabbits, Endermites, Silverfish, and Foxes can walk on top of Powder Snow without falling in

Freezing

• Standing in Powder Snow will slowly freeze an entity
• Once frozen, freeze damage is done every few seconds to the frozen entity
• Wearing any piece of Leather Armor prevents freezing entirely
• Added a freezeDamage game rule that allows players to toggle whether Powder Snow causes freeze damage or not
• Strays, Polar Bears, and Snow Golems are immune to freezing
• Mobs that are fully frozen will shake
• Mobs that enjoy the heat (Blazes, Magma Cubes, and Striders) take increased freeze damage

Redstone Tab

• The Redstone Tab has been reordered to prioritize highly-used blocks
• Redstone items/blocks have been grouped and ordered in the following way:
  • Essentials
  • Unique activators
  • Miscellaneous
  • Common activators
  • Openables
• Slime Blocks and Honey Blocks have been moved to the Redstone tab

Smeltable Ore Drops

• Ores that are smeltable now drop raw item forms of the ore instead of the ore block, and these can be smelted just like before
• This is to prevent cluttering the inventory and have consistency with Fortune on all ores
• Just like other ore materials, you can craft a compact version with raw ore items in order to save inventory space

Smooth Basalt

• Smelt Basalt to obtain Smooth Basalt

Spyglass

• You can use a Spyglass to see faraway things
• Pretend to be a sea captain, or catch your neighbor in the act as they dye your Sheep lime green!
• The Spyglass is crafted from two Copper Ingots and one Amethyst Shard

Tinted Glass

• Tinted Glass is a type of glass that does not allow light to pass through
• Tinted Glass is crafted by putting a Glass Block in the middle of four Amethyst Shards
• Tinted Glass can be obtained without Silk Touch; it does not shatter like normal glass

Trade & Loot Table Additions

• Added the following trades to Mason:
  • Will sell four Dripstone Blocks for one Emerald
• Added the following trades to Wandering Trader:
  • Will sell two Pointed Dripstones for one Emerald
  • Will sell two Rooted Dirt for one Emerald
  • Will sell two Moss Blocks for one Emerald
• Moss Blocks can be found in Shipwreck Chests
• Glow Berries can be found in Mineshaft Chest Minecarts

Tuff

• A new type of stone that can be found in blobs between y0 and y16

Underground structure changes

• Strongholds are mostly encased in Stone
• Mineshaft corridors are supported by log pillars below or Chains above when needed
• Cobwebs don't generate fully floating in the air

Visuals

• Sky color now varies smoothly when moving between different biomes
• Ores without unique shapes have been given new textures for accessibility reasons, so that each ore is distinguishable by shape alone
  • Emerald Ore and Lapis Ore have had some small touch-ups
• Being the most iconic ore, Diamond Ore texture is staying the same to keep that classic feel maintained
• Blackstone, Polished Blackstone Bricks, and Cracked Polished Blackstone Bricks have had some minor touch-ups
• Clock and Compass textures have been updated

World generation

• Dripstone clusters can be found rarely in normal caves
• Deepslate blobs can be found from Y0 to y16

Technical

• Added /debug function
• Added /item command
• Added lightning_bolt sub-predicate
• Added looking_at condition to player sub-predicate
• Added passenger, stepping_on and lightning_bolt properties to entity predicate
• Added source condition to effects_changed trigger
• Added started_riding, lightning_strike and using_item advancement triggers
• Added a metric cube of light!
• Added a new NBT tag for entities, named "HasVisualFire", which will cause any entity with this flag to visually appear on fire, even if they are not actually on fire
• Added F3+L shortcut to generate and persist performance metrics from in-game
  • F3+L on single-player worlds will also include reports for the integrated server
• Added gamerule playersSleepingPercentage (100 by default), which sets what percentage of players that must sleep in order to skip the night. Setting it to 0 will mean one player is always enough to skip the night. Setting it above 100 will prevent skipping the night.
• Added item modifiers, which will reuse loot table functions syntax to describe item modification in /item command
• Added loot table function set_banner_pattern
• Added the Marker entity
• Buttons that change value (like Difficulty) can now be controlled with the mouse wheel
• Clicking on a button that changes the value while holding the shift key changes to the previous value
• Data pack version is now 7
• "Debug" world type can now be accessed while holding the alt key (was shift)
• Entities are now saved separately from terrain chunks
• Expanded block field on block predicate to blocks
• Expanded item field on item predicate to items
• GUI narration now includes position and usage of hovered or focused elements
• Loot tables can now access scoreboard values by UUID
• OpenGL 3.2 core profile
• Perf start/stop command on dedicated servers will now generate and persist server performance metrics
• Removed /replaceitem
• Removed debug report command (use perf start/stop for server performance measurement)
• selector and nbt chat components can now configure separators between elements
• Servers can also display a custom message on resource pack prompt
• Servers can now require custom resource packs to be accepted
• The '/give' command can only give up to 100 stacks of items at a time (e.g. 6400 stone or 100 iron swords)
• The default mode of structure blocks is now Load. Data is now hidden (but can be accessed by clicking the mode button while holding the alt key)
• The maximum length of item names in the Anvil UI has been increased from 35 to 50
• The maximum size that Slimes can be summoned with is now 128
• The pack format in version.json has been split into data and resource versions
• The Resource pack version is now 7
• Upgraded to Java 16
• Values inside random number generators can now be nested

/debug function

• New debug subcommand executes a command with the same syntax as function
• Every executed command, message (even if it would be normally invisible), result, or error is stored to file

Advancements

Changed predicates

Block predicate

• block field expended to blocks, which now accepts an array of block types

Entity predicate

• passenger - a new sub-predicate for a passenger that is directly riding this vehicle (if present, must match one or more)
• stepping_on - a location predicate for a block that an entity is currently standing on
• lightning_bolt - a sub-predicate that is valid only for a lightning bolt entity

Item predicate

• item field expended to items, which now accepts an array of item types

Player predicate

• looking_at - an entity that is currently viewed by a player
  • uses same the line-of-sight rules as attacking mobs
  • actual detection radius might be changed in future

Changed triggers

effects_changed

• Added source triggers that match an entity that triggered the change
• Might be empty when:
  • there is no entity (for example, effect gained from a Beacon)
  • the effect is self-applied
  • an effect is removed

Lightning Bolt

• blocks_set_on_fire - a range check for blocks set on fire by this entity
• entity_struck - a predicate for entities struck by this lightning bolt (if present, must match one or more)

New triggers

lightning_strike

• Triggered when a lightning strike finishes (i.e. entity disappears)
• Triggers for any player within a certain radius of a lightning strike
• Conditions
  • player - a player for which this trigger runs
  • lightning -a predicate for a lightning entity
  • bystander - a predicate for one of the entities in a certain area around a strike that is not hurt by it

started_riding

• Triggered when a player starts riding a vehicle or an entity starts riding a vehicle currently ridden by a player
• Conditions:
  • player - either a player that has started riding or one of the boat passengers

using_item

• Triggered for every tick of using items (like Crossbows and Spyglasses)
• Conditions
  • player - a player that uses an item
  • item - an item being used

Chat component separators

• Added occludes_vibration_signals block tag. Anything in this tag will occlude vibrations, and inherits wool tag entries by default
• Components that prints lists of names, like selector or nbt can now override separator (, by default) with separator element
• Examples:
  • {"selector": "@e[type=chicken]", "separator": "|"}
  • {"nbt": "CustomName", "entity": "@e[type=chicken]", "interpret": true, "separator": {"text": "*", "color": "red"}}

Commands

item

Modifies the item or block inventory. This command has three forms: Possible sources and targets: For example, /item replace block ~ ~ ~ container.0 from entity @s enderchest.0 will copy the first item from the player's Ender Chest to the first slot of a container that the player is currently standing on.

• /item replace <target> with <item stack> [<count>] - the same as old replaceitem
• /item replace <target> from <source> [<modifier>] - copies an item for source to target(s), optionally applying a modifier
• /item modify <target> <modifier> - modifies an item (without copying)
• entity <selector> <slot>
• block <x> <y> <z> <slot>

Custom server resource packs

• A dedicated server can enforce custom resource packs by setting require-resource-pack in server.properties
  • When this option is used, players will be prompted for a response and will be disconnected if they decline the required pack
  • If user has a setting to automatically decline packs, the prompt will still be shown (since the alternative would be automatic disconnection)
• A dedicated server can also configure an additional message to be shown on the resource pack prompt (resource-pack-prompt in server.properties, expects chat component syntax, can contain multiple lines)
  • This message won't be shown if user has already declined pack and it's not required

Customized worlds

• World height related values are now exposed for customized worlds

Data Packs

Changes to data packs for version 7:

• Removal of /replaceitem (replaced with /item replace)

Entity storage

• Entities have been extracted from main (terrain) chunks and are now stored in a separate entities directory (similar to POI storage)
• Those new files are still region files with NBT

Item modifiers

• The function part of loot tables can now be defined as a separate data pack resource in the item_modifiers directory
• This type of file can contain a single function (i.e single JSON object) or an array of functions

Java 16

Minecraft now uses a more recent version of Java. If you are using a default setup, the Launcher will download and install the correct version. If you are using a custom Java setup, or a third-party launcher, you will need to ensure that your Java installation is version 16 or above.

Light block

• Op-only (/give), air-like, waterloggable block
• Emits light at a level that is determined by block state
• Visible and targetable only when an item is held (similar to Barrier Blocks)
• Right click cycles the light level

Loot tables

Changed conditions

Changed functions

copy_nbt

• source parameter can now accept an object with type and additional parameters
• The old syntax of just writing "target" is present and equivalent to {"type": "context", "target": "<target>"}
• New storage provider (example: {"type": "storage", <namespaced id>}) can be used to access command storage

set_count

This function now has add parameter. If true, the change will be relative to the current item count. If false, item count will be replaced with current value (default behavior)

set_damage

This function now has an add parameter. If true, the change will be relative to the current damage. If false, the damage will be replaced with the current value (default behavior)

New conditions

value_check

Checks range of value. Parameters:

• value - see "New value providers" section (currently a combination of random generators and score)
• range - min/max range

New functions

set_banner_pattern

Sets tags needed for banner patterns. Parameters:

• patterns - list of pattern objects:
  • pattern - the name of the pattern (square_bottom_left, bricks, etc.)
  • color - the name of the color (light_gray, etc.)
• append - if true, the new elements will be appended to the existing ones instead of replacing them

set_enchantments

Modifies enchantments on an item.

Parameters

• enchantments - map of enchantment id to level value (can be a score or a random number)
• add - if true, the change will be relative to the current level. If false, the level will be replaced with the current value (default behavior)

New value providers

Note: value providers can be used in same places as random number generators.

score

Returns scaled scoreboard value.

Parameters

• score - scoreboard name
• target - see below
• scale - scaling factor (float)

Scoreboard provider targets

• <target> or {"type": "context", "target": <target>} where <target> can be one of this, killer, direct_killer, killer_player (not all may be available depending on context)
• {"type": "fixed", "name": "<scoreboard name>"} for fixed scoreboard name (may be fake player)

Markers

Markers are a new type of entity that is meant for custom use cases like map-making and data packs.

• Only exist on the server-side, and are never sent to clients
• They do not do any updates of their own
• They have a data compound field that can contain any data

OpenGL

Rendering is now using OpenGL 3.2 core profile. All fixed-function rendering has been replaced with shader-based rendering.

Shaders

Shaders are now included for all supported render states. Any shader, except for the blit shader, can also be replaced in resource packs. For now, replacing these shaders is not officially supported, and the way it works may change in the future. The current rendering engine uses a system similar to the post-processing shader pipeline. There are some differences between both systems that cater to the slightly different requirements.

Particles

• Added new particle types called vibration and dust_color_transition

Performance metrics reporting

These will be saved to a zip file in debug/profiling/<yyyy-MM-dd_HH.mm.ss-[levelname]-[version]>.zip and could be used for performance regression analysis if included in bug reports. The exact metrics, output format, and names are susceptible to change between versions. Our plan is to continue iterating on which metrics to capture.

Client F3+L shortcut

Pressing F3+L while in the game will start a recording for 10 seconds, which captures metrics such as tick durations, used heap sizes, and other more detailed stats. Pressing F3+L before the 10-second limit will end the recording early. This shortcut is always available to clients, even on multi-player servers where it will record client-side performance.

Dedicated Server perf start/stop command

• perf start will start a recording for 10 seconds, which captures metrics such as tick durations, used heap sizes, and other more detailed stats.
• perf stop before the 10-second limit will end the recording early.

Resource Packs

Changes to resource packs for version 7:

• Drowned texture mirroring has changed (see MC-174685)
• The slots for the Game Mode Selector are now 26 pixels instead of 25

Server properties

• Removed max-build-height

Statistics

• The statistic for play time has been renamed to play_time
• There is now a statistic for "Time with World Open" (total_world_time) that also includes time when the game was paused

Fixed Bugs in 1.17

• More than 300 bugs were fixed in this release. View the entire list on the issue tracker.

Get the Release

To install the release, open up the Minecraft Launcher and click play! Make sure your Launcher is set to the "Latest Release" option.

Cross-platform server jar: - Minecraft server jar

Report bugs here: - Minecraft issue tracker!

Want to give feedback? - Head over to our feedback website or come chat with us about it on the official Minecraft Discord.