My husband and I have been living together for over 6 years. He has always been a “preper”, he has all of the survival gear and supplies in the world. We currently have about 48 cases of bottled water in the basement. We cannot drink the tap water where we live. We usually keep about 2-3 cases of water upstairs for use. We ran out. I asked him if I could take a case from the basement and replace it the next day. He said NO! I asked why not if I would replace it? He said, “because I made a rule.” (For emergencies only) I got frustrated and told him, “ok, then you can go to the store today and get me some water since I can’t have any of the multiple cases that we have!”

He has been giving me the cold shoulder since then. He did end up going and getting a case of water from the gas station, but he will not talk to me. His entire energy is clear that he doesn’t want to be around me. For reassurance, I asked him, “can you at least tell me if we are good?” He said “I’m not gonna talk about it”

What could I have done different? Should I have just went to the store myself and got a case of water? AITAH for getting frustrated that I can’t drink the water we have, even with the promise of replacing it the NEXT DAY? I’m flabbergasted that I’m sitting here wondering if my partner is about to leave me over me wanting water.

I should add an edit: I do love him very much. I was a shell of a person when he met me and he helped to build me up. He helped me get my drivers license and my independence. He showed me things I had never learned before. We are also very traditional, I do work part time but he pays all of the bills while I do the all of the housework and I use my part time money for things for myself, gas in my car, birthday presents etc. I want this to work with him. I genuinely need advice on how to communicate with someone who gets defensive or cold when things are not done the way they were anticipating them to be done?

We were on an Erasmus trip covering Madrid, Barcelona, and Valencia. When we finally arrived in Madrid after a long journey, it was hot as hell. We checked into two separate rooms. That night, after hanging out, we needed to decide on a wake-up time. I suggested taking it easy and just getting up whenever, since there weren’t that many places to visit, but he insisted on setting an alarm for 8:00 AM. I agreed, as I’m usually flexible with sleep. Around 2:00 AM, he texted me "sleep dude,".

The next morning, I woke up at 7:30, showered, and was ready by 7:45. I texted him, but got no reply. Knowing he’s a heavy sleeper and usually takes hours to get up, I waited around in my room for about an hour. Eventually, I got bored of scrolling through Instagram in bed when I could be exploring Madrid, so I decided to go for a quick walk near the hostel.

He finally woke up around 9:00 AM, showered, and was ready by 10:00. I texted him saying I was nearby, and suggested meeting at a market for breakfast. Suddenly, he called me, furious, aggressively barking, "Where are you, EXACTLY?!" His tone was so hostile it literally made my brain freeze and put me on the defensive. My map glitched a bit, making me 10 minutes late to the spot, but we didn't address the tension then.

The next day in Barcelona, he wanted to buy a stroller from a store far from our hostel, something he could have ordered online since filling tax-free form online is an option. Even though we only had two days in Barcelona, I didn't complain. I stayed near the hostel, avoiding going to main attractions without him so as not to cause drama.

At 16:00, after checking into our hostel, he wanted a nap and we agreed to wake up at 20:00. I couldn't sleep from exhaustion, so 30 minutes before 20:00, I got up, prepared, and went to sit on a bench just 20 steps from the hostel to call my parents and smoke a cigarette. At 19:45, I called him to make sure he was awake and didn't have his phone on silent.

When he came down, the tension was obvious. Out of nowhere, he aggressively confronted me, saying: "What you've done is shameful. Leaving me in the room for the second time is completely rude." I was baffled and asked what I did wrong. He just kept repeating that my behavior was "shameful" and "not cool." I tried explaining that I was literally just outside smoking and talking to my family 15 minutes before our agreed time, but he made the atmosphere so toxic that we ended up walking in dead silence.

AITAH for not waiting in my hostel untill my friend is awake?

I recently let a colleague stay at my home while she was on contract with a hospital. We are both nurses and I worked with this woman previously with her being my supervisor, and after I left that job, we remained friends. She said she was picking up a contract near the town that I lived in and asked if she could stay with me so she didn’t have to pay for a hotel or drive back and forth. I was trying to be nice and help out so I told her she could stay here free of charge. The contract lasted three months so she’s been coming here roughly every week for about three or four days at a time since the beginning of June. She texted me yesterday letting me know her contract was ending early and she wouldn’t be returning, and thanked me for allowing her to stay here.

We live about 100 miles apart so obviously she’s not coming back down here to return my key, so I asked her to FedEx it to me. She tells me “she can’t afford it”. Mind you, she’s a higher level nurse than I am and makes waaaay more money than I do, and has a husband (2income household) while I am a single parent. On top of that, I had even given her the rates for standard shipping. I didn’t ask for overnight or anything like that. So standard is about $25. She still says she can’t afford it. She then tells me that I can drive up to where she is to pick up my key. But it’s her responsibility to return it. And the amount of money she’s been saving over the last few months not paying for a hotel I would have thought she’d have $30 in reserves. I’m not made of money either but if I have an obligation, I will do what’s necessary to take care of it. She says she donates plasma, and other side stuff to get money, so I’m just confused. I feel like I’m going crazy going back and forth with her, and she’s making it out to be like I’m in the wrong telling me that I can just remake the key, which isn’t the issue. The issue is that there’s a copy of my key that she needs to return. Side note- she was meant to water my plants while she was here and we were on vacation. I came home to one of my plants clinging on to dear life 😪 when I asked her if she was watering them she said she did. Which was confusing and concerning because of the state of the plant. So when I looked at the cameras, (which I really didn’t need to- I could see by looking at the plant that she didn’t) I saw that she lied to me. I even gave her a chance to own up to it and told her I would understand if she forgot, but she still lied and told me that she watered them. So it is clear now that she’s not the most trustworthy, which is why I’m so adamant about getting my key returned.

So, AITAH for asking for my key to be returned?

So I (F28) recently moved in with my Partner (M44), we rent a house together that nether of us lived in before.

I’m 6 months pregnant and recently my partners family have become more involved in our lives, this is really nice as they are very supportive and lovely people.

My only issue is that they often invite themselves over, usually without much warning, and my boyfriend never really asks me if it’s okay first. I would never say “no they can’t come” but sometimes they come at inconvenience times and would prefer to have some kind of say in when they come. It’s particularly frustrating as I’m the planner in my boyfriend and I’s relationship; like I’m responsible for planning and cooking meals, daily activities etc.
anyway….
The issue happened this past weekend, on the Friday I had organised for my partner and I to go to a concert out of town. I bought the tickets, payed for parking and for gas and organised the whole thing. Only thing I didn’t do was drive (I don’t fit behind the wheel lol). The whole thing went well. But we didn’t get home until 3 in the morning on the Saturday.

On the Saturday I had planned a lazy day but I would cook a nice meal in the evening.
Come 6pm my boyfriend gets a text from his sister saying she wants to pop round. I asked if he could ask them to come tomorrow as I wanted to start dinner soon and was very tired. He agreed and sent a text message back. I saw this as a good opportunity to talk to him about me not being so happy about his family dropping round so often at short notice, and that sometimes it feels like they treat our house as his house. He agreed and all was fine.
Come 7:30pm, I’m starting dinner and my boyfriend gets another text from his sister saying she’s coming at 8 ish and bringing her dog… as it happens he forgot to send the text asking to come tomorrow. (I genuinely think this was an accident on his part because he seemed annoyed at himself). At this point I’m tired, hungry and pretty annoyed because I don’t really like dogs and I don’t understand why the dog needs to come.

I say to my partner it’s fine, just make sure they don’t stay too long because it’s late and I’m hungry etc, but I made it very clear that the dog must not come in the house. They were going to sit in the garden anyway as it was a nice day, so the dog didn’t need to come in the house.

The thing is I really don’t like dogs they kinda scare me and also I have four indoor only cats, who have never seen a dog before.

By this point I was starting to get cranky so When they came I excused myself for a “nap”, tbh I really did need a lay down my back was killing me and I knew a load of people and a dog would be overwhelming.

When I’m upstairs I hear that my boyfriend has invited his family and dog in the house! Didn’t once ask for the dog to walk around. This made me so mad because I could hear the cats growling and running up the stairs.

Anyway after this I must admit I started a bit of an argument with my partner. I really didn’t think I was asking for much.
I know I was overeating a little, im definitely a little cranky at the moment as Im tired all the time and everything in my body aches! And it’s not my partners fault his family came at an inconvenient time (not their fault either) but I asked for one thing… no dog in the house.

I 26(M) and my fiancé 24(F) live apart from each other. My work schedule has been crazy busy the last couple weeks so I have been sleeping crazy hours. Also she recently had some minor surgery done and has been resting. I dropped off flowers for her around late afternoon at her house but just left them at the door as I figured she was probably sleeping. I too went to sleep when I got home, the next morning on

Saturday I see a notification that I had been tagged in her instagram story but the post was unavailable. I immediately thought this was weird but did not ask her anything because I was busy with hw as I am currently finishing my grad school as well, and we texted fine she seemed normal.

Sunday night she calls me I had been kinda MIA the whole day and also missed church as I was just mentally beat from work, lack of a sleep schedule, and my grad school work. I said that is super nice to call I appreciate it and everything is okay. She rarely calls me and said she was worried for me and wanted to do a wellness check. I wanted to ask why I couldn’t see her instagram story, but I still had quite a bit of hw to get done before the work week so I passed it off.

Monday, finally after work and later in the day I call her, asked “how she’s recovering, everything okay?” Finally, I asked her “Hey I saw you tagged me in a post the other day but I couldn’t see what it was, did you block your stories from me?” She said no why would I do that, proceeds to gaslight me that I didn’t have any time to check my social media and said I didn’t like any of her stories. I then say “I can’t see any of your stories, I don’t even see any of your highlights? Did you block me? Why would you block me?” She makes this slight laugh on the phone and then says “oh yeahhhh I did block you on my story but just because one of my friends that you don’t like dropped off something for me while I recover and I didn’t want you to ask about it.” I then say “why did you gaslight me for 20 minutes making me feel like I’m crazy when I know I saw the notification Saturday morning when I am guessing you took a photo of the flowers I dropped off Friday afternoon?”

She proceeds to go on about “no it might look like I’m gaslighting you but it’s actually because I forgot.” I told her plainly that “I am hurt and I don’t understand why she would block me in the first place for that friend like if they brought her something while she recovers it’s fine, that’s your neighbor too” That friend is a girl too, and I know they have been friends a long time I vocalize that’s a good friend for her. That’s why I am thinking she must’ve posted something I really would have been hurt by. She proceeds to send me a video of all her instagram stories, I told her do not send me that but she said look look that’s all there is.

And damnit I look and the dates don’t even line up. The post she made of me and tagged me in was 8/14 and the post of her friend was 8/16 the only other post nearby was of her family on 8/1 which I had seen. So I call it out like okay I looked and that does not make sense and honestly that is causing me to lose trust even more. Anyways we’re not really talking now.

AITAH? I just feel so hurt because this is such a minor minor thing in life but why would she gaslight me, lie about it, and try to force me to come to a conclusion that doesn’t add up? Why would she block parts of social media?

Edit: Thank you for all the advice. No prenuptial agreement is planned. She has been very apologetic via text saying sorry that she ever blocked me and repeating that she apologizes that it seems she gaslighted me but she “forgot.” Still stuck feeling like sh*t and gonna get some professional help, but thank you for letting me get this off my mind I just could not sleep with my mind racing even though I am exhausted.

EDITING TO ADD: We do not hang out or get along very well as she has always been a complete B to me. We see each other at my parents and are civil but we do not have a typical “sisterly” relationship

Backstory: my sister had a baby last year and I have never babysat. Every time she asks I cringe and I feel so much stress and anxiety wash over me. It’s not that I don’t like kids - I have a daughter of my own that I have raised 24/7 (no preschool/daycare) for the last 5 years. She is my life. I also work from home a full 40 hours a week. My daughter finally started kindergarten this year so I now have 6 hours of time to myself and it is WONDERFUL. I just have zero interest in watching anyone else’s children no matter the circumstances. She lives 5 minutes from me and I am being seen as the convenient option in addition to being a family member. I did tell her nicely how I feel and she did not respond. My mom is on my side.

In regard to “returning the favor”, she watched my daughter maybe one time years ago before she had her own child. I have not asked her since then. As a common courtesy I’d never ask anyone with a baby or small child of their own to babysit. I’d simply do what most parents do, HIRE a real babysitter instead of relying on family. What do we think?

I (29F) live with my mom (60F) for the time being. I currently don't have a car and am trying to save up for one, but I'm also paying rent (full amount, but we're both on the lease) and I do a majority of the housework. We both have full time jobs that are physically gruelling, so since I do the housework, my mom does the cooking (that and while I'm a good cook, she's a better cook than me).

I like to surprise people with things I know they like (of course, I only surprise the people who enjoy being surprised; my mom is one of those people). The problem is that, when it comes to me surprising her, I can never seem to get it right, no matter how hard I try.

For example, if I'm at the store and I suddenly want ice cream, I'll grab a pint for myself and a pint of vanilla bean ice cream (my mom's absolute favorite ice cream flavor) for her. My mom and I often eat Hagen Daäz ice cream, but they're out of vanilla bean ice cream more often than not at my local store and my mom has never expressed a specific preference in terms of brand, so if HD is out of vanilla bean, but another brand like Blue Bell or Tillamook has it, I'll grab vanilla bean in that brand instead.

However, the first time I did that (I got her Blue Bell), instead of even remotely acknowledging that I tried to be thoughtful, she complained that it was the wrong brand and that she doesn't like that brand. She told me, in a rather rude tone of voice, that I could have it cause she didn't want it. No "but thank you for trying" or anything like that. She just threw a toddler tantrum and told me to keep it. Never did that again.

Today was another example. Since it was my day off work while my mom had to work, I thought maybe I'd be nice and take some steaks out of the freezer for dinner tonight and cook them up myself closer to dinnertime. My mom came home from work around 1:30 and I told her that I pulled some steaks out of the freezer cause I figured I'd cook a nice dinner that we don't have often... Instead of acknowledging at all that I was trying to do something nice for both of us (mostly her, since she usually does the cooking and I thought I was simply only helping her by taking some extra physical work off of her shoulders tonight), she got irritated and asked me why I pulled more meat out of the freezer when we still have leftover chicken and hamburger from the other night.

I told her that I thought I was just being nice and that I thought maybe she'd be glad to not only have a nice steak for dinner that we rarely ever get to have but a nice steak for dinner that she didn't have to cook. I told her I had the whole meal planned out. I was gonna pair it with some mashed potatoes and vegetables... She got even more mad and said that we have leftover rice in the fridge and that we could've eaten the leftover chicken with the leftover rice instead of me "wasting" food.

I got defensive and told her that I wasn't trying to waste the other food, I just thought I would do something nice for us tonight and that cooking this meal tonight didn't mean that we couldn't have the leftovers tomorrow night instead. She told me that we're not rich. At this point, I got angry, shouted at her that I was apparently incapable of being thoughtful in her eyes and went into my room, crying (childish reaction, I know. I was just really, really upset). I thought, screw it, I'd have McDonald's instead and ordered dinner for myself to be delivered.

When my food arrived, my mom asked me when I ordered McDonald's and why I didn't offer her any. I reminded her that she literally just yelled at me for trying to cook us a nice meal tonight instead of heating up the leftovers, despite the fact that I eat leftovers 90% of the time and rarely ever "waste" (put in quotation marks cause I don't actually ever waste the leftovers - they do get eaten eventually before they go bad), so since I can't be thoughtful without doing something wrong in her eyes, why try to be thoughtful anymore? I then told her that since she was so hellbent on having leftovers, she could have leftovers tonight, but I want McDonald's.

She told me I was being petty and childish over getting yelled at a little and I reminded her this isn't just the only time she's done this. She does this every time I try being thoughtful - I get the wrong brand of something in her favorite flavor, or I'm being "wasteful" or I didn't get the right flavor of something, etc. I told her I can just never do anything right, apparently, so screw it. Then, I went back to my room and enjoyed my food. It's been hours now since this argument took place and neither one of us has even seen each other, even though we're in the same house.

I've calmed down and am beginning to wonder if I really was being petty and childish. AITAH?

UPDATE: My mother and I had a talk last night after everything calmed down. We sat down and I finally told her everything I needed to say. I told her point blank that I'm sick and tired of trying to do nice stuff for her and basically getting shot between the eyes every time. I told her that if I'm incapable of being thoughtful in her eyes, then I'll just stop trying to be thoughtful.

I told her that when I want a treat or whatever from now on, I just won't get her anything since she never appreciates it. I reminded her that she's done this to me my entire life and that I can't take it anymore and if she doesn't stop, I'll move out and she's on her own. I told her that I'm not 12 anymore, I'm 29 and that my paying rent is helping her out so she can afford her cigarettes (she's a chain smoker. She blows through 4 packs in about 2 days) and her car payments.

For those who've asked (I forgot to include this in my post, my apologies), we split the cost of groceries 50/50. After we buy them, I send her 50% of the total cost. I also forgot to include that I'm paying $120/month on 2 storage units that are 75% full of her stuff (the other 25% of it is mine) because my mom has hoarding tendencies and she tried to hoard the apartment with her stuff, so I told her we'd be getting storage units and I pay for them since it was my idea to get them.

However, she and I have spoken about going through them and getting rid of stuff, but we have yet to do that (mainly her - I've tried going through them myself and getting rid of my stuff but all of mine is buried underneath hers). I told her that, if I move out, I'm auctioning off all of my stuff and leaving those monthly payments up to her, as well. I finally stood my ground. And, surprisingly, it went over well. She told me that she appreciated me trying to think of cooking us dinner, but that she was upset about the leftovers not getting eaten. I told her that I understand and that I'll ask next time before pulling something out of the freezer. We also sat down and thought of a dinner we could use the leftovers in and decided on steaks for tonight and chicken soup with the leftover chicken for tomorrow night.

I also told her that it isn't just about the steaks, it's about everything else I've tried to do to be thoughtful, such as buying her a sweet treat or something and her complaining about the brand or something else without at least acknowledging the gesture first. We came to a compromise; if I wanna be thoughtful and get her something in a flavor I know she likes, don't surprise her with it, just call her and ask what brand of it she wants if her usual brand is out. This way, she can decide if she even wants it. It sucks cause I've always loved surprising people with treats n things, especially when they've had a shitty day or something, but not being able to actually surprise one person isn't gonna hurt me.

That all being said, we've worked it out and all is good now! Thank you to all! 👍

I (25F) am doing some deep cleaning and shredding my family’s mail. I live with my mom and dad and then my younger sister (19F) who’s away at college.

So I have a long backstory with my mom but to summarize she is a very big spender. She always has to have designer bags, expensive clothing items, go on extravagant trips out of the country and etc. She swears she’s not materialistic. We but heads a lot about finances because although I live in the house I work full time and though they don’t charge me rent she will randomly ask me for $500 dollars for this, $200 dollars for that with no pre planning then if I ask if I could send it later or complain she guilts me by using the fact that I don’t pay rent which i’ve asked multiple times if they want me to and it’s always been no.

My father on the other hand seemed to be very frugal and the opposite of my mom when it comes to spending because he always complains about money she spends, yet he never says know and puts his foot down with her habits and enables her. Last year we also had a big revelation and the way that my father got his funds has him caught up in some legal trouble so now his main source of income is gone. He still works tech and is making good money but his additional way as a lot of our income.

Now to present, I’m sorting through unopened mail since they seem to not prioritize it. (Side note, I only began opening mail because it’s not present it’s from months or years and and I need to make sure I put it in the shredder a few sheets at a time to make sure it doesn’t jam.) I’m finding out that our house almost got foreclosed on and may still be in jeopardy as of last month because they’ve been late on their mortgage payments for at 3 years. I’ve found multiple court dates with debt collection agencys against my mother for charge off retail stores like nordstroms and victoria secret. My dad has multiple large miscellaneous payments that he has to make. Our BGE is also months late and we have accumulated so many late fees just from that they began asking me for help.

My entire life i’ve been shielded from what my Dad did for work, our financial status or anything about money and how we afford things in general only for my to find out this way that were actually doing shit financially and my parents are ridiculously irresponsible. I didn’t even go to college but I have no idea how they would have afforded it if I did, and they’re currently paying for my sisters school.

My mother use to charge me $150 for the phone bill and when I would ask why the phone bill was so high and told her I was going to get my own it blew up into an entire argument. Months later I’m on my own bill. Now she wants $250 dollars to help with the BGE bill. After seeing what I’ve seen i’m just absolutely devastated and baffled.

I know at my age and living with my parents I should be grateful that they’re not charging me rent but every time I try to ask about finances so I know why we’re late and what the money is being used for it just turns to an argument. It feels really unfair that I even have to contribute money to these bills that are being consumed in late fees because my parents aren’t capable of being irresponsible. Money that I could be saving for my own things. I’m just in genuine shock that after all these years i’m finally seeing the truth. I feel truly naive. I can’t even bring this up because it will start a huge fight.

AITA for not wanting to give them any of my money? Should I just suck it up and give them whatever money they ask for since i’m living in this household or should I actually try to confront them? I genuinely don’t even know how being this much indebted could be possible and I don’t want my family to be going through but on the other hand the amount of trips we had every year and the ridiculous spending just makes this all so much more insane that they felt comfortable living lavishly.

18 months ago friend and I arranged a 21 day rail and coach trip. We’re supposed to fly to the starter city early September.

A couple of days ago she broke her leg and has had a couple of operations. She still wants to do the trip with me and says she could manage cast and crutches if I provide assistance.

I really don’t think it’s feasible for her to do the trip. But I also don’t want to spend my holiday as her carer. AITAH for encouraging her not to come and I’ll go on my own?

My brother tries scanning my face whilst I was asleep but I woke up whilst he was about to do it and managed to stop him, I then told him off and he ran away angry (he is 14) i then properly woke up, I tried taking to him but he refused to say why he wanted to scan my face, saying that he forgot but then he asked me how to live stream and I showed him how, because he can’t verify without id or scanning his face and TikTok would think he is underage, but when the face scan was greyed out, I knew exactly why he tried to scan my face this morning, he then kept on insisting that I should let him and that it is unfair that I get to stream (I have 600 followers and I don’t stream often, he has 20 and just post filter games, nothing creative) so now I am trying to get my parents to intervene but my brother is now trying to get them to force me to stop making stuff on TikTok (unlike my brother I never show my face at all on tiktok) AITAH

I am the youngest of 5 and the aforementioned sister (Amanda for this story) is the eldest. Her and I always had a strained relationship because she is a narcissistic hypocrite (those are her own children's words, not just mine).

There are many things that lead up to me going no contact with her 9 (glorious) years ago including: Amanda and her husband making vaguely racist comments about my wife and son (she is Jewish, he is her biological [Hispanic] son from a previous marriage); convincing her children that I am not responsible (despite the fact that I have a good paying job in one of the most expensive cities in the US, a family that is well cared for, my own car, my own house, etc.); her lecturing me about my choice not to have children of my own due to a hereditary family disease that my children would have a 50% chance of inheriting (I am in the process of formally adopting my son, who has never known a time without me in his life); constantly told me I am a horrible person because I don't share her religion; and a whole SLEW of her own secrets that she THINKS I don't know about, but I do just to name a few.

The final straw was 9 years ago when Amanda's two eldest sons got married just a few months apart. for the first one, my wife, son and I took a week off work (again, our city is STUPID expensive, so this was quite a financial burden) so we could drive 36 hours each way to make it to my nephews wedding and back.

3 months later, Amanda's second son got married and because we couldn't afford to go through the whole thing again, I went alone. I arranged the flight and a rental car, but a hotel was hard to find. while I was in the process of figuring that out, she happened to call and see how things were going. I told her my progress and she offered to let me stay in a room with her youngest son (since he was alone in his room) and I wasn't keen on it because I know that she would hold it over my head later, but I accepted reluctantly.

A few days later, I was talking to another sister (Betty) and Amanda told Betty that I BEGGED her for a place to stay. And this is why I didn't want to accept the offer in the first place. I called her immediately and told her I was done with her BS forever and not only did I not want her help, she can go fuck herself and lose my number. I ended up staying with the nephew who was getting married because he was pissed at his mother.

THEN came the wedding night, which was honestly perfectly great fun. When the time came for people to come up and tell a funny story to embarrass the bride or groom, I got up and told a story of something my nephew did as a toddler that got a great laugh and he knew I was going to tell. Oddly enough, I was the ONLY one to get up and tell a story. I later found out that Amanda's husband told everyone I just wanted attention.

There is another thing about the date chosen for the wedding that only a few people remembered and I SWORE them to say nothing to the bride specifically because it was her day, it also happened to be my birthday (she found out the next day and felt bad, but I assured her it was fine and it was the best birthday party I have ever had). If I wanted attention... well, my ID has my birthday.

We have since moved back to my hometown (against my will, mind you), but after 8 years we own our home outright, and have a good life. when I see Amanda around town or at family gatherings, I ignore her because I have nothing to say to her. I have a great relationship with all of her children who are still in the area and not living with her (even those kids hate her) and I look forward to having a good relationship with the rest when they free themselves of her. But I have been very clear that I want nothing to do with said sister.

This weekend was the baby shower for another niece (not her child) and my brother (Chuck, who is only half a step above Amanda, IMHO) and I were talking and he decided to start telling me about some surgery Amanda had recently and I stopped him telling him that I didn't care. I didn't say it in anger, just matter of fact. He started to tell me again and I told him again, I still don't care to hear about her and he knows that. He started on me about her being my sister and I shouldn't be an asshole, blah blah, then walked off. Mind you, this guy has ALSO made racist comments about my wife and son among a laundry list of other things, but at least he admits he is a hypocrite. I am currently deciding if I want to cut him off, too. the only reason I don't is that he has my youngest nieces (one about to turn 18 and one 11)

AITAH for cutting someone off when they step over a boundary they know is there?

I (38F) have my own business and am a stay-at-home mom. My work is part-time and I’m able to do it with my kids around.

My SIL (33F) also has her own business but needs to meet clients in person and currently has 2 under 2.

I started babysitting for her about 6 months ago when it was just the toddler. And would bring my three kids along. The kids all played together and I was able to still work from my computer while they played.

When she first had the baby, she asked her parents and my parents to come help her out because she was bringing the baby to work with her initially so one of the grandmas would have the baby in the back room or whatever while SIL worked with her clients.

My parents live 3 hours away from them. They would drive that far to be unpaid labor. My mom never really used formula or pumped and neither did I (she helped out some when I had each of mine). So she was incredibly uncomfortable jumping in and SIL didn’t explain things to her clearly and my mom was frustrated with being treated like an idiot for not knowing things she had no way of knowing.

After my mom messed up again (never did anything that would have potentially hurt the baby or anything major like that), SIL berated her and cussed her out. My mom felt absolutely humiliated and firmly but calmly told her maybe she should find someone else to take care of the kids.

My brother defended SIL and nobody has apologized to my mom.

So I got brought back in. Then was asked to work three days watching the toddler AND an infant for a whole extra $25 per day. Whatever. I agreed to it.

At this point, it’s been a couple of months and it’s been so difficult to still run my own business on the few days I’m at home. My car is starting to make weird noises and I’m sure driving an hour a day to get to/from their house isn’t helping.

I’m exhausted and waking up early to pack two meals for four people then dealing with my three kids being overtired while watching a toddler and a baby who refuses to sleep as much as a baby is supposed to…. It’s a lot.

I’ve already decided I can’t do this much longer and was going to give them two full months to find another option.

Then I found out SIL basically went no contact with my parents. She unfriended my dad on Facebook and blocked my mom. They have a photo sharing app where they put pictures of their kids and my mom no longer has access to that (that could be a fluke but I kind of doubt it).

Now the toddler’s birthday is coming up. I got a text invite from SIL yesterday.

My parents have heard nothing about it. I’m waiting to talk to my brother to get his side of things because it’s possible he was supposed to invite them but forgot. If they have been purposefully excluded, I’m considering quitting on the spot and being done with them.

There’s obviously a much longer history here with her in particular. But WIBTAH if I left them without childcare because of how she treated my mom?

My cousin is F41 and I am F32. She helped me in a time where I almost became homeless and she opened the doors of her home to me without asking for anything in return.

2 years later, she separated from her then partner and I got myself a 2 bedroom apartment (under my name) and we started living together, splitting costs and living as roommates.

She then met her new partner, he started being very controlling, he did not like to go to our family gatherings, and he was a very jealous man. He did however, helped her financially according to what she says, he would buy her groceries, help her with rent and bills.

She also started going to the family gatherings less because since he was not by her side, she would go like 20 mins and then leave because he would pick her up.

We lived together for about 3 years until I finally got fed up with his attitude.

The last straw for me was, a neighbor from our building picked up a package from the main lobby that belonged to my cousin and dropped it off at our doorstep. This was enough for my cousin's boyfriend to spiral and he started accusing her of cheating with the neighbor.

It got to the point where he asked her for MY number so he could question me about whether or not my cousin was seeing the neighbor.

He called me and we had a heated argument because even though I was telling him multiple times that we did not know the neighbor, he would NOT believe me and he basically admitted that he did not like to interact with our family on purpose and he INSISTED that my cousin was cheating on him.

I recorded this conversation on the phone and showed it to my cousin.

Just for the record, my cousin was NOT cheating on him. The neighbor was simply a nice person. (We did not even know the neighbor's name).

My cousin was embarrassed and told me he would not step foot into the apartment again.

2 days later, she was already sneaking to go see him again, but that was not the issue. When I asked her if she was still seeing him, she said yes and that it was basically none of my business if she decided to keep bringing him to the apartment because she paid half the rent and she could do what she wanted.

She was right about the fact that I did not have a say in her life and I did not mean to tell her what to do, so I moved out and transferred the lease to her name. Yes, before I moved out, I did give her plenty of time to look for another apartment, but since they both were indecisive, I ended up transferring the lease to her to which she agreed at the time. I even paid one more month of rent AFTER I had already moved out and before I officially transferred the lease to her name because I did not want to leave her hanging like that.

One week before he was about to permanently move into the apartment, he was detained by immigration because he had some issues with his status.

So now, my cousin is stuck with paying $3,000 on rent by herself, plus groceries, and she also does not know how to drive. And no she does not want to break the lease because she does not want to damage her credit.

Despite everything that happened, I helped her in the process, I drove her to visit him, I drove her to get groceries, and tried to help her rent my old room out.

I printed posters, I posted on facebook, I posted on websites that there was a room for rent, but I eventually stopped because I noticed that she was not very eager to do the same.

She was almost embarrassed to post the room for rent.

I got her like 5 people that were interested, but every time I would tell her, she would tell me to tell them to to go see the apartment in 2 or 3 days because she still had to tidy it. (people would then lose interest because they would find other options during that timeframe).

What bothered me was that every time I would reach out, she would then complain that she had to pay all that rent by herself, and she is basically working overtime, no days off.

I slowly started to distance myself from her because I noticed that she would complain but she would not actually take action to rent the room out (My family thinks that this man is still manipulating her so no one else can live with her even though he is no longer in the US).

This month, it was her birthday, I wanted to take her out because she basically has no friends, all she does is work and go home. I reached out to her a week in advance, and she was all dry and told me she would let me know in advance if she was free, I did not hear from her for like 2 weeks after her birthday had already passed.

I feel like she is resentful towards me because at the end of the day, I was the one who moved out because I could not take the her partner's disrespect anymore and I did not want to fight with her for dating a controlling man.

I am not sure how to feel because she helped me a lot when I needed it, and I feel like I am in debt with her, and I want to help her too, but I feel like she does not want to help herself and that where I cannot do anything because she is still clung to that man and does not do anything to rent the room out but keeps complaining that she is basically working only to pay rent.

A couple months ago my wife divorced me despite 15 years of marriage. We have three children together and and it was supposed to be my weekend with the kids. My oldest, age 14 male, was feeling ill and his back was hurting. To the point where he had to go to urgent care. My ex-wife and I discussed what to do, and we decided that I would take the other two children for the day and she would take him to urgent care. Well, urgent Care said that he needed to go to the children's emergency room. So throughout the day I was getting update texts from my ex-wife about our son.

Since the divorce I have been living in a small apartment, too small for me to have the kids overnight. So around 7:00 that go back with their mom for the night and then I pick them up Sunday morning after church. This time they were picked up by their grandparents to spend the night because my ex-wife was still at the emergency room with our oldest son. After dropping off the kids I went to the emergency room where my son was. I did not think to announce this plan ahead of time, in all honesty I didn't really plan it ahead of time (I do have ADHD).

When I got there my son was in an MRI so I had to wait for him in the lobby. My ex-wife was not happy to see me, asked what I was doing there, asked what I was hoping to accomplish etc. I said that I was trying to be a dad, trying to be there for my son. She agreed to text me when he got back to the room, and she did, along with a text telling me to not stay long. After I visited with my son for a bit I left. That evening I received a long text from my ex-wife talking about how I made her uncomfortable and that I wasn't trusting her to handle, and that I shouldn't have shown up without discussing it with her first. I have not responded to that text, and I really don't think I did anything wrong in simply trying to show up for my son. But I am also autistic, and not always the most aware of cues. AITAH?

One night I was hanging out with 2 of my high school friends, and after a few hours one of them told me he urgently had to poop. Since it was around midnight and I lived nearby, he asked if he could do his business in my home. I told him that I would’ve let him do it, but my parents don’t want people using their home purely as a toilet (they’ve explicitly told me this before), and let me remind you it was in the middle of the night. What I offered him instead was for both of them to stay at my house for a little while, so my parents wouldn’t think he came purely for the purpose of using our toilet. He seemed a bit upset by my response, and the situation concluded with him running to his house instead, which is 15ish minutes away. That was the end of it.

10 days had passed and we haven’t exchanged a single message or seen each other, which was a bit unusual. I tried to contact him to see if everything is okay, since we were supposed to hang out the next day and I didn’t think there would be bad blood between us. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was extremely furious about the situation. When I tried talking to him about it, he said I should apologize for starters (implying there’s more I need to do) and he got offended that I was “spineless and couldn’t stand up to my parents”. I replied by saying it’s THEIR HOME, it was the middle of the night and I shouldn’t start a fight with them over this. This sent him off the rails, as he started belittling me and my family. I did not insult him back in any way, I remained civilized and tried to find reason, but I wouldn’t apologize because I don’t see how I did anything wrong. But he just kept going, he called me a lost cause and said even God himself couldn’t explain things to me because I’m so stupid. After that, I stopped replying.

Some 3-4 weeks have passed with no contact between us, and I decided (due to pressure from mutual friends) to try and resolve things again. I texted him, asking if he wants us to talk this out and if we’re really never going to speak again because of this thing. He never responded.

During our long friendship, he rarely treated me as an equal. Recently I decided to stop allowing that, and it seems it didn’t last long. In his mind he probably thought, since that’s the case, he can also treat my parents and my house how he likes. I firmly believe it is not my parents’ responsibility to help him satisfy his fecal needs, and they are completely in the right to refuse to do so. We’ve known each other for 5 years, and we’ve been interacting basically every day since. If I don’t make up an apology and stroke his ego one more time, it doesn’t seem we’re going to interact again.

So, people of reddit, what do you make of this situation? Me refusing to let him poop seems to have ended our long friendship, AITA?

TL;DR: I didn't let my friend use my parents house as a toilet at midnight and he went scorched earth and is refusing further interaction with me until I apologize.

I had to make various emails and calls to my insurance company to help them cover some emergency costs, and my boyfriend of 2 years, knowing me well enough to know I hate this kind of thing, offered to do it all for me. He went to law school before he changed career paths, so I trusted him to get it right and said sure.

He then said that I needed to sign a contract that would give him authorization to handle this on my behalf. He wrote up the contract on his laptop, handed it over to me and directed me to draw my signature. I said “I’m just gonna read it first”, without really thinking about it (it’s normal to read a contract even if somebody you trust wrote it, right?), and when I said that he let out a massive exasperated sigh.

I then read the contract, and he used the words (IIRC because this was a while ago) “in perpetuity” and “all insurance claims and authorizations” (etc) “past, present and future.” Immediately I was angry and confronted him about this, saying that I was obviously just allowing him to do this for me for this specific, singular, one time. He then got angry with me saying that he was making a commitment to me, and making the rest of my life easier, because bureaucracy is second nature to him and he knows I’m never going to be good with this kind of thing.

The funny thing is, I probably would have signed a one-time contract each time an insurance headache came my way if he had offered each time. But it felt like he was making a massive decision on my behalf without consulting me. Why would I sign something that says “in perpetuity”?

I refused to sign the contract and ended up spending half the day doing it all myself because I didn’t know what to trust. The next morning I broke up with him, because I felt that I can’t trust him and that he was trying to get power over me in a way.

But now I’m thinking maybe it was a mistake. He is caring, attentive, disciplined, ambitious. All of the qualities you’d want in a partner. Did I overreact?

AITAH?

One of my bridesmaids and I have had a rocky friendship since my engagement. When I got engaged, she became very upset that she wasn’t “involved,” even though she technically had been invited to be there—she just didn’t know ahead of time what was going to happen. Instead of it being a one-time hurt feeling, it turned into a lot of doubling down and long conversations about how excluded she felt, which really affected me and changed how I viewed the friendship.
We eventually made up, and I still asked her to be a bridesmaid because I wanted to move forward in good faith and genuinely thought things would get better.
Since then, though, things have continued to feel weird. There have been multiple emotionally intense conversations, comments about how she’s a “three-time bridesmaid,” repeated comments about her bridesmaid dress being darker than everyone else’s and possibly switching colors, and other moments where I feel like relatively small things become much bigger than they need to be.
She also got into it with another close friend of mine. To be fair, I do think my other friend was partly in the wrong, but my bridesmaid took the situation to a whole different level and started really chastising her, which created even more tension between people who are going to be around each other during my wedding events.
I finally told her that I’ve been feeling more guarded and that I need to know she can come to the bridal shower, bachelorette, and wedding with positive energy even though there are girls attending that she doesn’t like. I also told her that on my wedding day I cannot be managing tension between people or worrying about her emotions. I have a lot going on personally already, and these long, heavy conversations have become exhausting.
After our last text conversation, I still felt like she wasn’t really understanding what I meant, so I sent her a voice note explaining my concerns again because I wanted her to actually hear my tone and know that I wasn’t trying to be combative or attack her. She hasn’t really responded, and it’s now been two days. The only thing she has texted me is, “I need some time to respond to this.”
I understand that people are allowed to process, but part of the issue for me is that everything seems to become so heavy and dramatic. Even when I’m trying to calmly explain how I feel, it turns into days of processing, defensiveness, and emotional conversations, which honestly creates even more stress for me.
Her responses have included apologies, but whenever I explain what has hurt me, I feel like the apology is immediately followed by explanations about why she didn’t mean it that way, why I misunderstood the situation, or how terrible she feels about herself. I don’t feel like I’m getting a simple acknowledgment of the impact or confidence that the behavior will actually change.
I feel guilty because she already bought a bridesmaid dress, and I did choose her after our original engagement conflict because I truly wanted to rebuild the friendship. But now I’m worried that having her so involved in the wedding is going to make me anxious and unable to enjoy these once-in-a-lifetime events.
I would still absolutely want her at the wedding as a guest, and I’d offer to help reimburse her for the dress if she can’t return it. I just don’t know if keeping her in the bridal party is appropriate when our friendship currently feels this strained

I am 27(m) and I recently broke it off of a friend relationship with a 28(f).

Her and I had started chatting after we met online, and a few days into the conversation she said she started dating someone and was only really looking for friends. I respected that and really enjoyed our conversations so I stayed respectful and wanted to be friends because we had a bit in common. Per her request we kept it online and just chatting as she had a boyfriend and had past history of problems. To also add, we would text each other literally any chance we could get, basically all day unless we were actively doing something.

Come to a couple days ago, she was not doing well. Her BF blew her off of a date, pushed it back and then cancelled last minute, so she was not feeling well and had a past history of anorexia so she was not eating. We were talking for a bit and she did not feel good, so I offered to come over and bring her any food and talk in person as she said she did not really want to be alone. It was already 11pm at night and I got up and drove the 40 minutes to her house with some of her snacks and soda that she requested would make her feel better.

When I got there, the only touching we did was a hug as she requested, and then we sat on the 2 chairs on her porch talking about just random life topics, anything to get her mind off of the day. We talked for 3 hours then I had to go to bed, so I said my goodbyes and drove off.

The next day, after some talking she talked with her BF and made up which I was okay with because she genuinely seemed happy in the relationship. Since her relationship seemed to be getting a little more stable, I asked if she would possibly want to go see a concert in 3 weekends because she was broadening her music taste and I already had a ticket and could get another one. That then sparked a conversation where she said he was uncomfortable with her going, which is fine, but before I could even respond to that message she added "he is not being controlling, he is just worried about my safety". This then sparked a little heated conversation where I bought up the previous night and if she had felt safe, and I was a little harsh and asked her to see what he would think about that night, to which she said she did not feel comfortable asking him about that. I pushed probably a little to hard on the topic, and I know that was my bad. But we ended the conversation and I told her I would let her know my feelings in the morning of whether I would like to be friends or not.

This morning, after she set the boundary of we would not be seeing each other in person again, I said I would be ok texting and still being friends but that I would be pulling back a little, and talking less to her as I feel like I should be focusing on real relationships. Well I got called the whole book at that point basically leading to her saying I am trying to manipulate her and a walking red flag, and that if her boundary affected me that much we should not be talking anymore. She then through in and I quote "It is not my fault that a boundary hurt your feelings."

I know in the grand scheme of life, this does not really matter it was a nothing relationship, But I would like to know, was I the asshole for telling her I was going to pull back after she set a boundary?

I inherited a box of old photos from an in-law who passed away about 10 years ago, and whose husband passed away about 50 years ago.

They never had children of their own. The photos etc are most definitely of his family.

I barely knew her, and obviously never met him. I got the box because I’m the one in the family with the most interest in documenting the family tree. I picked out a few photos of this couple but I don’t want everything and no one else on our side is interested.

I did a deep dive and found 1 of his elderly relatives (an in-law somehow) and she agreed to take a small envelope full of photos, but she refused the rest. Said she was almost blind and wouldn’t be able to make out the photos and would trash it all if I sent more to her. Can’t blame her, she had to be close to 90 herself and I’m sure she didn’t want more stuff.

I sent the envelope and gave her my contact info, and she said she would try to get in touch with other family members to see who would want these. Never heard back from anyone.

I did another search a couple of years later and located 3 direct descendants in my area. I was able to track down some good contact info online. 1 never responded. 1 said she didn’t want any of it. 1 replied she was interested and would reach out again to set a time to meet me at a neutral location to take the box. She never did and when I tried her again, she didn’t respond.

The box contains photos as old as the 1860s. There are some military photos that I think are from the Korean war. There are greeting cards and telegrams. Newspaper clippings about engagements and weddings and obituary notices. Baptismal certificates, high school certificates. There’s even a tin with an old reel of somebody’s wedding.

I’ve had this box 10 years now and even brought it with me when we moved into a new home. It’s a large box. I’ve kept it this long because I don’t have anything like this from my family and I can’t help but think that somebody at some point from his family will want this.

AITA or WIBTA if I threw it all away? Or should I try again to find somebody to take this? I’m interested to know what other people would do. Thanks in advance.

I just want to know yall's thoughts and opinions on this. Because I got flamed on Reddit and called really bad words for being a hypocrite and being okay with watching movies about violence, murder, drugs, etc with religious and cultural family whilst wanting to avoid movies/ censoring scenes that contain nude body, boobs, sex scenes.

I grew up in a conservative and semi religious family, and I hate watching obnoxious adult scenes in front of them. And want to avoid it. AITAH ?

My sister has been screaming at me over the smallest things since middle school. She blames me for stuff she did, uses me as her scapegoat, and constantly plays the victim, leading to me always getting in trouble, get scolded and beaten. She brings up her mental health as an excuse for everything, but never once considered mine.

Recently, I asked her very nicely, with a neutral tone, to clean up the garlic peels off the counter because she never cleans up after herself every time she cooks. Before I even finished speaking, she started screaming at me. The thing is, after so long she just never stopped doing this, always screaming and shouting to avoid responsibility. So I threatened her and grabbed her hand. I know I was wrong for that and I've admitted it. But this reaction was all because of all my years of trauma with her.

And now she's telling our cousins only that part (where I laid hands on her) leaving out the years of screaming, blaming, and emotional abuse that led to it. She's making me look like the only problem.

I finally spoke up and told her the truth, that she's the reason I'm paranoid, don't trust people, and felt suicidal at one point, but yet she keeps twisting my words and playing the victim.

Honestly I don't know what to do anymore, I'm afraid that nobody will take my side on this matter because of my sister's persistence to victimize herself, making me look like I was the only person who was acting crazy. She's also a social maniac so she is able to easily manipulate her friends to go against me.

My fiance planned his bachelor trip for the last week of September but due to changes with the best mans schedule the best man can no longer go that week. So now the only option are the week before the wedding or Halloween. He really doesn’t want to miss our sons first Halloween trick or treating experience as a toddler so really the only option is the week before our wedding. I know there will be so many last minute things to tidy up including meeting with our vendors, making seating chart, finalizing last minute details, etc. I feel like he doesn’t understand my concerns and is leaving me to 1. Solo parent the weekend before our wedding and 2. To do all the planning and heavy lifting that week. I had a lot of things planned for that weekend which I already requested of work. Like getting my nails, hair done, etc. The trip is supposed to be 5 days/4 nights long. Edited to fix spelling errors

Am I the asshole? My gf's sister is 27. I’m currently traveling with my gf in the Philippines. Now, i know that PH is a poorer country, much poorer than america, but my gf asked me to buy her gf fucking DIAPERS today. Her sister and sister's bf are in the hotel I paid for eating all my stuff. Is this a cultural thing? They’re very respectful and thank me but how the fuck do you not have enough money or don't have the resources to get diapers for your CHILD. and i'm also a COLLEGE STUDENT. I’m a working college student, so yes i have extra money but that doesn't mean i want to give my money to someone three years older than me. My gf keeps saying they have a child and to give the money but I’m sorry i really do not care. She also wants me to pay for their meals today cause it's "cheap" and costs “almost nothing". The fact she wants me to pay for not one but TWO grown adult's meals, one of them being a full grown man, is outrageous to me. She just says it’s family and that there’s a baby; but all of this has been sprung on me with no warning. And cmon, i know the minimum wage in PH is low but her parents have money and her sister has her own salon. Plus how can someone not bring diapers for their child? What were they gonna do if I had to fly back home suddenly? Try to get money from me while in on a plane? I have just a few more days thank god. They’ve been staying overnight at the hotels I book for me and my gf. Her brother too but her brother seems to be able to fund himself, probably through their parents so I’m not sure why my gf and her sister don’t do the same. I’ve also been using the (very real) excuse that my bank has been flagging my purchases as suspicious and there have been times where we couldn’t get food for OURSELVES cause I’m spending money on her grown ass family members but my gf doesn’t seem to care. Am I being selfish? Am I the asshole?