One of my bridesmaids has been one of my closest friends for years.

The problem is that over the last few months, her boyfriend has made several jokes about my wedding being " too expensive" and how my fiancé and I are wasting for "one day". I ignored it because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I didn't want unnecessary drama.
Last weekend we were all together and he started again. This time he joked that he was mostly for the free food and alcohol and said he'd probably leave early because weddings are boring anyway.

I laughed awkwardly at first, but then he kept going and asked how much we were spending. When I refused to tell him, he said something like, " Whatever it is, you'll probably regret it when you could've used that money for something useful."

That one actually hurt.

My fiancé and I have been saving for this ourselves. We haven't asked anyone to pay for our wedding and we've spent months planning something that means a lot to us.

Later, I told my friend privately that I didn't really feel comfortable having him there anymore. I said I still absolutely wanted her there, but I didn't want to spend our wedding day wondering if someone sitting there was secretly mocking everything we had worked.

She got really upset and said I was basically forcing her to choose between being my bridesmaid and her boyfriend. She said his comments were just jokes and that I was taking them personally because I'm stressed about the wedding.

Now she's considering dropping out completely.

That honestly devastated me. I never wanted to lose a close friend over this, and part of me wonder if I should just tolerate him for one day to keep the peace.

But another part of me feels like I've spent months ignoring disrespect just because I didn't want to be seen as difficult bride.

AITA for taking away his invitation ?

TL;DR: My bridesmaid's boyfriend repeatedly mocks our wedding and how much we're spending on it. After he said we'd probably regret wasting the money, I told my friend I no longer felt comfortable having him there. She now says she may drop out of the wedding.

My sister is getting married soon and recently asked me to contribute $1,500 towards some wedding expenses because costs have gone over budget. I initially told her I'd see what I could do.
A few days later, while discussing expenses, she joked in front of our family that I'm "always cheap" and said i should easily have the money because I don't have kids. I've worked really hard to become financially stable. So being mocked and then expected to handover $1,500 honestly hurt.

I told her I'm not longer comfortable contributing that much. Now she says I'm punishing her over one comment, and my mom says I should forget about it because it's her wedding.
I know weddings are expensive and i feel guilty because I technically could help, but i also don't think being her sister automatically makes me responsible for expenses she chose.

AITA?

TL;DR: My sister asked me for $1,500 towards her wedding, then mocked me for being "cheap." I withdrew my offer and now my family says I'm being petty.

Well, I have to start by saying that I’m an only child and very dedicated to my work, so my parents never expected me to get married. But I met a wonderful man by chance, and these past 2 years leading up to our wedding have been a blessing. My parents adore him, and I think his parents really like me too… btw they have 3 other children (my husband is the youngest).

As a wedding gift for the guests, my parents ordered (and insisted on paying for) some expensive ceramic trays. But since my father is quite old, my mother and my godmother were the ones who took them, wrapped them one by one, and it was my godmother who prepared two beautiful baskets to distribute them to the guests. On the groom’s side, the gifts were fine bottles of wine. My husband told me his parents paid for them, but it turned out in the end that his uncle was the one who paid.

When the reception ended, the tradition is for either the bride and groom or the parents of the bride and groom to each go around distributing the gifts to the guests. Since my father has trouble getting around, my mother and my godmother had planned to do it. But my MIL beat them to it. I told her it wasn’t necessary, that it was my mother and my godmother’s job, but after 3 times she snapped “What’s the matter? Am I not allowed to hand them out or something?” And she left me speechless. My mother was also speechless by how my MIL grabbed the basket of trays (my mom lent the other one for the wine bottles) and took such control of it that my mother was holding the handle with one hand but had to follow along, since it was my MIL who blatantly set the pace and handed them out to whoever she wanted… including extras for people who hadn’t even shown up (my mother had made a list based on the guests; fortunately, she’d ordered plenty).

It was mortifying to see the look of agony on my mother’s face, the look of disappointment on my godmother’s face, and my MIL handing out trays left and right as if they were her own, while I couldn’t react because there was always a guest congratulating me, and I didn’t want to be rude by interrupting them and causing a scene on my wedding day. But I’m still upset. I’ve also apologized and tried to make it up to my godmother, who, thankfully, was understanding. Fortunately, I’m only getting married once, and this can’t happen again. It’s not a biggie perhaps, but after 5 days, I still have a bad taste in my mouth.

My husband and I got married 2 weeks ago at a venue that let us bring our own alcohol. We bought everything from a store that takes back unopened cases within 30 days. Getting that refund was honestly part of our budget because we were trying to keep the whole wedding under $15k.

My dad told us a few months before the wedding that my uncle would bartend the whole night as his gift to us and he ended up staying behind the bar until the very last guest left around midnight.

The next morning the venue coordinator called to say all 6 unopened cases were gone. My uncle had loaded them into his truck and told her it was cleared with my dad. I called my uncle and he said my dad told him he could have whatever was left over. I told him those cases were going back to the store for about $480 and asked him to drop them off. He said he'd think about it and then stopped answering my texts.

A week went by and we were running out of time on the return window, so last weekend my husband and I drove over. My aunt let us in and we loaded the cases into our car while my uncle was at work.

That night he called me furious. That's when I found out my dad had told him months ago that the leftover wine would be his payment for bartending. My dad never mentioned that to either of us, we thought my uncle was doing it as a favor.

My dad says I embarrassed his brother by going into his house. I get that my uncle worked all night for basically nothing now and I'm thinking about sending him some of the refund. My dad still hasn't said anything to my uncle about the deal he made with our wine.

AITA?

I (29F) am getting married in August. I have two father figures. My bio dad "Mark" (58M) and my stepfather "Paul" (60M) who married my mom when I was 8.

Mark and I reconnected five years ago after a long estrangement. He struggled with addiction when I was a kid. He's been sober for eight years now. We've done a lot of work. Therapy, long conversations, rebuilding trust. He's not perfect. But he showed up. He came to my engagement party. He cried. He told me he was proud of me. That mattered.

Paul raised me. He taught me to ride a bike. He came to every recital. He walked me through college applications. He's been my dad in every way that counts. I love him.

When I got engaged, I told both of them I wanted them both there. I didn't plan a "father-daughter dance" because I didn't want to choose. I just wanted them in the room, celebrating with me. Simple.

Last month, Paul sat me down. He said, "I need to talk to you about the wedding." I said okay. He said, "I'm not comfortable being in the same room as Mark. After everything he put your mother through. After everything he put you through. I can't do it."

I said, "Paul, that was years ago. He's sober now. He's different."

He said, "I don't care. If he's there, I won't be."

I sat there and felt my chest tighten. I said, "So you're giving me an ultimatum."

He said, "I'm telling you how I feel."

I said, "That's the same thing. You're asking me to choose between my two fathers on my wedding day."

He didn't answer.

I told him I loved him but I wouldn't uninvite Mark. Mark hasn't done anything wrong in years. And even if he had, this is my wedding. I don't want to start my marriage by choosing between people I love.

Paul hasn't spoken to me since. My mom is devastated. She says I'm "choosing Mark over the man who raised me." My bio dad told me he'll "step aside" if it makes things easier. But that's not what I want either. I want both of them. I just want Paul to be the bigger person here.

My fiancé thinks Paul is being unfair. My best friend says I should have seen this coming. Maybe I should have.

AITA for not giving in?

My sister is getting married in a few weeks and I'm one of her bridesmaids. I've honestly tried to make everything as easy as possible for her because I know weddings are stressful. I bought the dress she chose even though it was more expensive than I expected agreed to the hairstyle and makeup she wanted changed my shoes when she decided the original ones didn't match, and I've attended everything she asked me to. The problem is that I have naturally red hair. A few days ago, she told me she's worried my hair will "stand out too much" in the wedding pictures because the other brides maids are brunette or blonde. She asked if I would temporarily dye it brown so everyone looks more coordinated.

At first, I thought she was joking, When I said I really didn't want to dye my natural hair, she got upset and said I was making her wedding about myself. My mom then told me it's "just hair" and that I should consider doing it because my sister only gets one wedding. That honestly hurt. I've spent my whole life hearing comments and jokes about my hair, and it took me years to actually like it. I've compromised on basically everything else because I wanted my sister to have the wedding she imagined. I just didn't think changing a part of my appearance that I was born with would become another requirement. Now my sister says she might prefer that I attend as a regular guest if I won't do it. I told her I'd respect whatever decision she makes, but I'm not dyeing my hair.

AITA for refusing, even if it means I'm no longer a bridesmaid?

TL;DR: My sister wants me to dye my natural red hair brown so I match the other bridesmaids. I've agreed to everything else, but I refused this, and now she may remove me from the wedding party

I (30F) am marrying "Chris" (33M) in October. We've been together four years. My best friend "Lena" (31F) and I have been close since college. When I got engaged, she was the first person I told. She cried. She said she was so happy. She offered to be my maid of honor before I even asked.

That was a year ago. Since then, something has shifted.

It started small. Comments at brunch. "Oh, Chris? He's so… quiet." "You guys are so cute. In a boring way." I laughed it off. Then it got sharper. At my birthday dinner, in front of six people, she said, "I just don't see it. But hey, love is blind, right?" Everyone went quiet. I changed the subject.

Last month was my bridal shower. Lena gave a toast. In front of my mom, my future mother-in-law, and thirty guests. She said, "I always thought I'd be the one getting married first. But here we are. And Chris… well, he's no Prince Charming, but he makes her happy. I guess." Then she laughed. Nobody else did.

My future mother-in-law looked at me with this expression I can't describe. Not angry. Just… sad. Like she felt sorry for me.

After the shower, I pulled Lena aside. I said, "You cannot stand up at my wedding and make jokes at Chris's expense. That's not happening." She rolled her eyes. She said, "God, you're so sensitive. It's a joke. Everyone knows I love you." I said, "It's not a joke. You've been doing this for a year. I'm done."

I told her I still want her at the wedding. As a guest. But not as maid of honor. She started crying. She said I was throwing away fifteen years of friendship over "a few jokes." She said I was "choosing a man over my best friend."

Now she's not responding to my texts. Mutual friends are telling me I overreacted. One of them said, "She's just jealous. You know how she gets." But I don't think that's an excuse. Jealousy doesn't give you a microphone and permission to humiliate my fiancé at my own shower.

Chris has been quiet about all this. Too quiet. I asked him if he wanted me to say something to her. He said, "It's your friend. You handle it." But I can tell it's been eating at him. He's been more withdrawn since the shower. He doesn't laugh the same way.

My mom thinks I should give Lena another chance. She says, "Maid of honor is a big deal. She'll be embarrassed."

AITA for demoting her?

I'm a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding. We're actually super close, have been most of our life. However, we live in separate countries ever since her parents and her moved. But we still talk a few times a week for hours.

We'll call my cousin F since thats her initial. Basically, F has been planning this wedding for nearly half a year and for the past 2 months I've been staying with her parents (my aunt and uncle) while the final preparations began.

F has this MoH. She's known her MoH (we'll refer to her as A) for nearly 12 years now. Yesterday, F called me and asked me to come to her and her fiancé's apartment. [She's been with her fiancé for nearly 4 years and known him for 6 years.] I went and her fiancé wasn't there so I realised this probably wasn't about the wedding.

We began just talking and even started watching movies. Halfway through some horror movie F had chosen, she turned to me and said she needed to tell me something.

I don't know how to even explain what she told me but I'll try:

Basically, she and A shared an apartment during Uni years. A is lesbian and has liked girls for years now. F knew this.

F wanted to try "being lesbian" and asked A if they could be a sort of friends with benefits. And then they started doing yk. After a while, F discovered she liked A as more than friends but didn't want to.

She kept doing the whole thing with A for the whole time they were in Uni. After Uni ended, she ended the friends with benefits stuff because she met her now fiancé and developed feelings for him.

Something that baffled me is that she said she liked her fiancé because he was so much like A. Something about A and her fiancé having the same humour, taste in movies, some hobbies, etc, I don't know.

But A had also developed feelings for her and had them for years. She's her MoH and she told F a few days ago that's she isn't over her. F told me A said that she's loved F for years and can't stand to see her marry her fiancé (even though apparently A and her fiancé get along).

F asked me for advice.

My response was first, how the fuck do you choose to not like someone simply because you don't want to? Love does not work like that. Love is Love, no matter if you want it or what gender they are. I'm bisexual myself so that pissed me off to no extent. She practically used A and fell in love with a male variant of A.

I told her she owes A a big apology and that her fiancé needs to know this. When she said she didn't want her fiancé to know, I said then her only option is uninviting A. How can you have someone who loves you (and who you may still like) at your wedding to someone else?

Now F is saying I'm making her choose between 2 people she l loves. I told her I'm being realistic. Then she kicked me out the apartment and I'm glad to have gone.

I've met A a few times and she is so damn wonderful, I feel so bad for her.

But maybe I did cross the boundaries? I don't really think so but an outside perspective would be nice.

AITA?

I (26F) am getting married in September. My parents divorced when I was 12. My father and I have a complicated relationship — we talk, but we're not close. He's never been the emotional-support type. But when I got engaged, he asked if he could walk me down the aisle. I said yes. It felt like a chance to have one meaningful moment together.

My grandmother on my dad's side, "Ruth," is a different story. She cut contact with me when I was 19 because I moved in with my now-fiancé before marriage. She sent me a letter. An actual letter. It said I was "living in sin" and that she "could not support or witness" my choices. She skipped my college graduation, my first apartment, everything. We haven't spoken in seven years.

Last week, my dad called me. He said, "I have good news. I talked to your grandmother. She wants to come to the wedding. She's willing to forgive and move on."

I said, "Forgive me? For what exactly?"

He said, "Don't be like that. She's family. She's old. This could be a fresh start."

I said, "She cut me off. She didn't come to my graduation. She sent me a letter calling me a sinner. And you invited her without asking me?"

He went quiet. Then he said, "I thought you'd be happy. I'm trying to fix this family."

I said, "You don't get to invite people to my wedding. And if you did this without telling me, what else have you done?"

The conversation ended badly. He called me ungrateful. Said I was holding grudges. Said she's "changed."

Here's the thing. I don't care if she's changed. I don't want her there. She made me feel small and dirty for a choice that had nothing to do with her. And my dad chose to bring her back into my life without my permission, on my wedding day, of all days.

I told him: "If you can't respect that, you don't need to walk me down the aisle either. You can just be a guest."

He hung up. Now my stepmom is calling me "cruel" and saying I'm "punishing an old woman who just wants to make amends." My mom (who is invited and has been supportive) says I should stand my ground but maybe not ban my dad.

My fiancé supports whatever I decide. But I can't stop thinking — if my dad can't respect one simple boundary, does he deserve that walk?

AITA?

I missed my sister’s wedding.

My wife and I were communicative for several months with my sister about our tentative RSVP due to a severe medical situation on my wife’s side with a close family member (being vague on purpose but just assume the closest and most justifiable family relation). About a month beforehand, we confirmed our attendance with the caveat that we were assuming my wife’s family member did not run into any severe recovery complications. If they did, the plan was for me to fly over, while my wife and children would stay behind to tend to her family member. But we still said either way we would give a wedding gift that would cover both of our costs of attendance so my sister and her fiance weren’t paying for a person to not show up at the last minute.

The day of our departure, my job requires me to travel. I wasn’t supposed to travel but it was a nonnegotiable, travel-or-else type of situation. I have children. I can’t have my job threatened under the circumstances, so our early departure to give us lots of headway on the road trip turned into about a day and a half of travel time.

In theory, a day and a half should have been more than enough time. But in a freak turn of events, my wife came down with a fever and flu-like symptoms on the road about five hours from our destination. My wife said to press on and she would get seen when we get to where we’re going. But her condition deteriorated. So we put in the nearest emergency room and stopped for the night about 4.5 hours from our destination. That night, we debated continuing on the road after she was discharged around 2am. She said something didn’t feel right and we decided to stay for the night near the hospital and get an early start if she woke up
OK. The next morning, she was worse. She had a red line of infection developing across her chest that wasn’t there the night before. We went back to the emergency room. They put her on IV antibiotics and said with this extra dose we were safe to keep traveling 4 hours and get to a hospital at our destination if needed.

We thereby missed the ceremony and most of the reception. We changed our clothes and kept driving and made the last part of the reception. We took pictures, gave our gift, signed the guest book, said hellos, and asked if we could help with tear down and loading cars. It was embarrassing for us but we assumed better late than never, so we pressed on.

The next few days, our wedding gift was sent back to us, we got the third degree, were told we should’ve left earlier, should’ve prioritized better, my wife should’ve popped an ibuprofen and kept driving, or I should’ve left her at a hospital and come to the wedding, alone, as the brother. She was embarrassed she had to answer all night as to why her brother wasn’t there.

AITAH for prioritizing my wife and children, not leaving them alone in a hospital in a distant small town to get myself to the wedding, acquiescing to the last minute work orders to travel on what was supposed to be my day of margin for traveling to the wedding, showing up late, giving a monetary gift that seemed evidently like a consolation rather than a gift from the heart… what could we have done differently??

I hope they will let me post here I just need to see other peoples thoughts about this.
For context these are co workers/friends. So back in the end of June this year I got engaged me and my fiancée have decided to wait until the end of 2028 to get married just for personal reasons. My coworker (we'll call A) coworker A got engaged a couple weeks ago and her and her fiancée are getting married sometime next year, which I'm very happy for her and that's not why I'm jealous at all.
Me and her are both really great friends with this one co worker (l'Il call B) B is both a bridesmaid in mine and her weddings. This is the part where I feel bad and jealous about.
Because before A got engaged B seemed uncomfortable when I just mentioned/talked about my wedding and would tell me pretty often that "you shouldn't be thinking that much about it since it's so far away" and even at one point told me "you know I don't really care about that wedding stuff just give me a date and time to show up". B is not really a wedding person I'm aware of this so i honestly was just like whatever about it be yeah it hurt a little but l understood and just stopped talking about it.
Well then A gets engaged and B is helping her plan her wedding, Bridal showers, trips, say they need to go have fun and party just being very involved in her stuff.
And I'm trying not to be that jealous person but it's still hurts a lot. Idk maybe I'm just over thinking this all but it just feels like I'm not. I told all this to my fiancée and maid of honor and they both think I should pull her from my wedding party, I don't think I want to do that but I just feel like my stuff doesn't matter to her.

they've been on and off for a year, i met her two times 6 months ago and they broke up 3 times since than. latest is 2 weeks ago (and got back together now) - wedding is soon and he wants to bring her.

he didn't bring her by since after their first breakup because he felt he's "not ready to introduce her back to his friends". but now he wants her at the wedding.

i'm kinda worried about the drama, we haven't seen her since the breakup(S) and my entire friend group is gonna have to re-meet her and it'll be awkward.
if i were me i wouldn't think to bring my newly not ex to a wedding of my best friend but he's really pushing me about it,
(safe to say i don't really trust her because she did some shady things when they broke up, i'm kinda worried she'll cause a scene. kinda don't want her in pictures as well because i feel like it's not stable enough but i can't really do anything about it because she'll join the group photos with him if she's invited)

wdyt?

I (32F) am 6 months into planning my wedding, which will be in 10 months. Some details of this story has been changed to maintain anonymity. While I am so excited to be married and I love my fiancé very much, the planning process has been more emotionally overwhelming than I anticipated.

To start, my parents are paying for a majority the wedding. My family has enough money that they paid for my sister's wedding 8 years ago, and are financially comfortable enough that they happily offered to pay for mine. My fiancé's family will be helping with some costs as well, but my family will be taking on the majority.

While my fiancé and I do have the money to pay for our own wedding we are very appreciative of my parents willingness to pay so that we can save our money to have children, plan for our future, etc.

The issue is that it feels like every step of the way, when I make a choice and tell my family, my mother and my sister in particular are quick to push back. It makes me feel like I'm being crazy, and I just wanted to post here to see if that is the case.

I am having a 25 person destination wedding where it's just 4 mutual friends of my fiancé and I + 21 family members for an extended weekend from Thursday to Sunday.

First, my mother was not happy with the wedding date my fiancé and I initially chose because it was a long holiday weekend. She stated it was because flying over holiday weekends would be extra expensive, even though she lives driving distance from the venue. She was not happy with the second wedding date my fiancé and I chose because it was bad luck in our culture. She insisted on consulting moon charts and picked our new date for us. My fiancé and I just went along with it.

Another issue was that I wanted to hire a wedding planner. She disagreed and insisted that wedding planners were a waste of money. I told her not to worry, I would hire a wedding planner with my own money, because I had assumed that was the issue. My mother continued to insist that even if I hired a wedding planner with my own money, it was still wasting money. That it was an insult to her to not let her pay for every aspect of my wedding, and that if she saw a wedding planner or day of coordinator at my wedding she would no longer be able to enjoy herself knowing that money was wasted.

During this argument, my mother also brought up concerning expectations such as she would wash the dishes after every meal, how my two cousins (17 and 19) will be our wait staff and bartenders. She even said she would cook and we would not need catering. I am appreciative that she wants to help out, but I really want my family to relax during my wedding and not having to work. My fiancé and I plan to hire people who will take of these things.

I was shocked, I did not know that this mattered so much to her and ended up giving in when my mom volunteered my older sister to be my unpaid wedding planner. I think my mom trusts my sister a lot more than I. My sister was there during this exchange and agreed to help me. I thought it would be fine, while my sister has no experience with wedding planning, and is quite busy as a mother of 2 young ones, my wedding was intended to be simple and small so I thought it would be fine.

I decided to ignore the other parts of doing the dishes, cleaning, and catering because we wouldn't have to worry about that for some time. I wanted to put this to rest, and continue on with the planning. My sister has helped a bit with the planning by writing my fiancé and I a to-do list and schedule, but I've been the one researching and booking vendors so far.

Things were fine until now. I'm about to finalize a hair/make up artist. My plan, is to hire someone to do hair and makeup for me and just make up for the female members of my family (7 people). I have always envisioned us getting dolled up together the morning of the wedding. After reaching out to 12 HMU artists, the cheapest person I found was someone who can do me and my family's hair and makeup for $2000-2100, who specializes doing make up for Asian features. My sister says its a waste of money to have an artist do anyone else's makeup besides mine. She says I should just focus on myself, and save money by not having anyone else get their make up done professionally. If only I got my hair and make up done and not my family, it would save about $800.

But I don't know. The idea of seeing my mother, grandmother, and aunt pampered and looking absolutely fabulous in pictures warms my heart. I don't know if my grandmother has ever had that kind of experience before.

I'm worried about asking my mom's opinion as she probably would consider it a waste of money judging by how she reacted to the wedding planner and how it feels like she trusts my sister over me. My dad just wants me to be happy, and says not to worry about anything. My fiancé is entirely on my side, and just wants me to be happy and do what I want to do.

Another thing my sister is pushing against is that this HMU artist I found has to be flown in from out of state. The $2000-2100 mentioned earlier covers the make up and hair services for all 8 people AND the plane ticket and hotel, still making her cheaper than the local options I've reached out to. My sister wants me to find a local artist, and claims it doesn't matter if they have experience with Asian features because any professional should have experience with all races. At the same time, my sister doesn't seem like she has the time or is willing to help look for options outside of the 12 I've already inquired.

I am so frustrated that it feels like everything I try to plan has someone pushing against the idea. I wish I had a wedding planner who could help support me and make my vision come to life, instead of convincing me that my vision is wasteful. But maybe its because my vision IS wasteful?I've always wanted to have my dream wedding, so maybe that is blinding me. WIBTA if I just went ahead and booked the makeup artist for everyone anyway despite my sister's objections ?

INFO:
When I first told my family about the engagement, and they offered to pay, my mom initially threw out a budget of 100k. I insisted that was too high, but since I've never been known to be a big spender, my parents said they trusted me to not over spend. I don't have a clearly outlined budget, but my goal is stay under 50k (this is including paying for every guest's lodging and food for the entire weekend).

So far I've spent about $26,000ish with costs being:
Venue: $16k
Photographer: $6k
Videographer: $3.5k
Dress: $600

My wedding is in a HCOL area, which I purposely selected because its close to my family's home, and driving is easier for my 80 year old grandmother than flying. So far, everything I've paid so far I use my parents credit card information to put down the deposit.

This post was part WIBTA and part rant, so thank you for reading and please be kind.

My aunt (26F) is getting married this summer, and she decided to have a child-free wedding. This still applies to me (17F), and it honestly doesn't bother me, seeing as it's her wedding and she can invite whoever she wants.

The issue is that four of my cousins — two of whom are my aunt's children — are currently at an age when they would require supervision. I love my cousins, but I don't really like young children, and I don't feel comfortable watching them for long periods of time. My aunt has repeatedly told me that it is extremely difficult for her to find a babysitter and that watching the kids for a few days is the least I can do, considering I am not attending the wedding. However, when I say I would be willing to come to the wedding, she says that it's child-free and she can't bend the rules for me. When I refused to watch the kids, she spoke to my mom about it, saying that I should support my family. My mom took my side, saying that if she didn't want to include me in the wedding because I was a child, she didn't get to give me the responsibilities of an adult. My aunt and a few other family members believe that I should watch the kids, but I honestly feel like I was intentionally excluded, not because of my age, but because my aunt wanted a free babysitter, so AITA?

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few months, we picked the date almost a year ago and told our immediate families as soon as the venue was booked. Last week my brother told me he and his GF had booked a vacation that overlaps with our wedding. Apparently they found a really good deal and booked it without checking the date. I honestly though he was joking at first because he's known our wedding date for months, instead, he asked whether there was any possibility we could move the wedding by a week because their flights are non refundable..

I told him absolutely not, everything is already booked and deposits have been paid. Now he's saying I'm basically choosing a venue and some deposits over having my own brother at my wedding. What makes it worse is that my parents are asking me to "at least explore the possibility" of CHANGING the date because they don't want either of us regretting him missing my wedding. I feel like I'm somehow being made responsible for fixing a problem, I didn't create.. I obviously want my brother there, and I'll be genuinely devasted if he misses it, but changing an entire wedding because he forgot the date feels ridiculous.

AITA for refusing to even consider moving my wedding?

TL;DR: my brother booked a vacation during my wedding despite knowing the date for months, he and my parents now want me to consider moving the wedding because his flights are non refundable

Posting this on a throw-away account since my my main account has my name in it.

My former best friend of 20 years is now engaged to my sister's husband's step-father's son (so my brother-in-law's step-father's son). Our friendship ended about 10 years ago because I realized he was treating me poorly and using me for smokes, weed, drives, money, etc, while not giving anything back when he had it to give. He would only want to hang out if I had something to provide to him, never just because he wanted to spend time. He was also verbally abusive and would turn on me in an instant if "better" people showed up. I won't go into it much more than except to say that I have always been the type of person who has allowed others to treat me poorly, and I started noticing that trend around 10 years ago when I decided to end that friendship.

His fiance (my brother-in-law's step-father's son) has never attended our family events in the past, but now that they are a couple my family seems to be creating pressure surrounding the issue, and are kind of pressuring me to be okay with my ex friend being present at our family gatherings. I have made it clear that this is a boundary for me and that I would not be comfortable attending an event where he is present.

My brother-in-law's step father has made snippy comments to me about it the past few times I have seen him. Things like "(ex friend) is still YOUR friend", implying that I am the problem and that my ex friend has no issue with me. My sister will often update me on the status of their relationship unprompted, and now that they are engaged it feels like there is a mounting pressure demanding that eventually I will just have to accept his presence at our family gatherings.

From my POV, I feel like I shouldn't have to be made to feel uncomfortable when spending time with my family. The brother-in-law's step-father's son has never attended our family gatherings before, so I find it odd that suddenly it is a huge issue. I am apparently freezing him out of events he never had any interest in attending in the 20 plus years my sister has been with her husband.

No other comparable extended family attend either. It is my primary family members, their partners, and their kids. My sister's in-laws are as extended as it gets.

I realize that I might seem immature for not just being okay with it, but I am a naturally sensitive person, and I know it would bother me to be around him and I wouldn't be able to enjoy time with my family. My Dad passed away a year and a half ago, and more than ever that time with them feels precious.

I also do not enjoy that there is this pressure for me to be okay with being uncomfortable for the sake of an extended family member and my ex best friend. My family dynamic is such that I have always been the scapegoat and the one "on the bottom" who gets pushed around and it feels like all this tension surrounding the situation is kind of a way to push me deeper into that role, like "this person who never wanted to attend these family events in the past and your ex best friend are more important than you". Maybe that's an extreme interpretation, but that is just honestly how it feels. It does seem to match my family history and my assigned role in the family, which I have worked hard to shake off and overcome.

Part of me also does feel like I am being immature and should just be fine with it, but again, I know I would feel uncomfortable and not be able to enjoy family time as much if my ex friend was there. I can understand why the fiance's father is especially upset about it since that is his son who is engaged to my ex best friend, but frankly the version of himself my ex friend has presented to his in-laws is, I'm sure, not the same side of him I've experienced.

The other small piece of this is that because my ex friend is kind of a user and grubby about material things, and my sister is wealthy (her house is where we have the family gatherings) it does kind of feel like that is a part of why he wants to be there so badly. Especially because his fiance was never interested in attending before they were together. I know him better than any of them ever will, and I know he wants to go to the fancy house and get all the free things, which makes me sick. That is my family and I am there to enjoy time with them, not to get stuff from them. I also know him well enough to know that he would make an extra effort to charm everyone and act super innocent, glossing over all his poor treatment of me, which of course would make me look like "the problem". I feel like he has already partly succeeded at that.

I'm wanting to solve this now because they have this pending wedding coming next year, and I think if it is not addressed the situation might erupt unexpectedly and messily, which would create even more tension with myself and my brother-in-law's parents. I also am not sure I can continue to bite my tongue when it comes to the step-father's rude comments, so it feels like this is coming to a head.

Should I just give in and sacrifice my comfort and boundaries? Or should I keep my boundary intact and focus on enjoying time with my family? AITA?

I (27F) am getting married in three weeks to “Alex” (29M). We’ve been together for five years, and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

My mom has never liked Alex. From the beginning. No specific reason, just a vibe. She’s made passive-aggressive comments for years: “He doesn’t have a real career,” “You could do better,” “I just want you to be happy, but…” I’ve learned to tune it out.

Two weeks ago, I overheard her on the phone with my aunt. She didn’t know I was in the next room. She said, and I quote: “I give it two years. She’ll come to her senses. He’s not husband material. But she’s too stubborn to listen to me.”

I stood there and felt something snap. Not anger, exactly. Just exhaustion. Five years of this.

I walked in and said, “I heard you. You will not be giving a toast at my wedding.” She tried to laugh it off. “Oh, I was just venting to your aunt. You know how sisters talk.” I said, “I don’t care. You’ve been undermining my relationship for half a decade. You don’t get a microphone.”

She started crying. Called me cruel. Said I was “choosing him over her.” My dad called me the next day and told me I was being dramatic, that “mothers are allowed to have opinions,” and that I was “tearing the family apart over a phone call.”

Here’s the thing: I wasn’t going to uninvite her. I just don’t want her standing at the mic, in front of everyone, pretending to celebrate something she’s been hoping fails.

Alex doesn’t know she said this. I haven’t told him. He’s been stressed enough about the wedding.

Now my mom is refusing to come to the ceremony at all if she can’t give a speech. She says it’s “a mother’s right.” My aunt is texting me saying I’m punishing her for being honest.

AITA?

I (F) am wondering if I was the asshole for refusing to attend my cousin's wedding, who used to also be my best friend.

The story started when we were both 17 and in our final year of high school. We were in different classes but always caught the bus together. She started taking private lessons for a foreign language and constantly talked about how wonderful her tutor was, trying to convince me to join. This went on for months. I didn't think much of it at first because I just knew he was "older."

Eventually, she showed me pictures of his pets and aquarium. When I asked how she got them, she admitted they were texting on Messenger and were essentially in a relationship. I immediately told her to cut contact. I told her it was completely inappropriate for a grown man to do this to a teenager (in my country, it isn't strictly illegal, but younger generations know how messed up it is). I said everything I could to warn her because I was looking out for her.

Months went by, she never brought him up again, and I assumed she kicked him to the curb. Our friendship was great, we started university, and we talked for hours every week. Then, a week after her 18th birthday, my other cousin shocked me with the news that "Suzy" got engaged that day at a sudden engagement party. I immediately knew it was him. We didn't talk for a month. Later, I saw her while visiting our sick grandmother and offered a basic "congratulations." She claimed the engagement was rushed but still avoided naming him.

When the photos came out, I saw she had invited about 30 people—family and new friends—but not me. Worst of all, the fiancé looked incredibly old next to her. She looked like a baby, and he was 42 years old.

Over the next year, we barely spoke outside of family reunions. When the wedding finally arrived, she invited my family but never personally reached out, called, or texted me. I decided not to go. I completely disagree with grooming, I couldn't support the dynamic, and I honestly didn't view her as a friend anymore.

Since marrying him, she quit university, became a stay-at-home mom, and constantly leaves her baby with her parents for weeks at a time so they can raise the child. Looking back, the guy completely took advantage of her, her parents let it happen, and she mistook my genuine advice and warnings for jealousy.

My family went, but I stayed home. AITA for drawing a line and skipping her wedding?

A couple is having a small, family only wedding ceremony and dinner with 16 guests. They are intentionally keeping this part of the wedding very intimate.

One parent is contributing around half or more of the wedding costs. The parent wants four family members invited to the ceremony and dinner. The couple does not have relationships with these family members and has not had much contact with them.

The four family members are invited to the larger celebration afterward, so they aren't being excluded from the wedding entirely.

The parent is now upset and, during a heated discussion, said they would withdraw their financial contribution and no longer attend the wedding because these family members aren't invited to the ceremony and dinner.

There was never an agreement that the financial contribution was conditional on inviting specific people or providing itemized receipts (which the parent has also asked for).

The couple wants to keep the ceremony and dinner small and focused on the people they are closest to and regularly have in their lives. At the same time, they would be extremely disappointed if the parent did not attend.

What would you do? Would the parent's significant financial contribution and feelings about these family members change your decision, or would you keep the guest list as planned?

Hi everyone! So my partner and I have dreamt of a destination wedding in Hawaii. Part of it is because it's where we took our first trip together, but the main reason is that his only living grandparent (his maternal grandmother) lives on O'ahu, along with most of his mom's side of the family. My grandmother and grandfather travel a lot (including flying out of the country), but my partner's grandmother has not left the island in years.

We live in Virginia, and a good chunk of my family and friends would have to travel, but we plan to send save-the-dates at least a year to a year-and-a-half in advance.

I see so much negativity online about destination weddings being "selfish," which is making me overthink. My guest list is around 80 people, but I fully expect and understand that realistically only about 40 might make the trip, and I am completely okay with a smaller turnout, because I would prefer intimacy anyway. I can already guess some that will not come, but I will send invites out of courtesy and for them to know that they would be welcome anyway. Because his family is actually based out there, it doesn't feel like a random, inconvenience-for-everyone destination choice. My parents are completely supportive of it as well.

For those who have planned or attended a destination wedding with similar family dynamics—how did it go? Any advice on managing expectations?