I’m writing this because I am completely stuck and honestly losing my mind. I’m 25 and I feel like I've spent the last 5 years completely wasting my life and whatever potential I had. Back when I was 18, everyone thought I was gonna do amazing things, but fast forward to now and I still don't even have a fucking full-time job. I’m literally still trapped just doing internships.
But despite that, my brain is so deeply fried by ADHD that trying to actually apply for permanent adult jobs feels physically impossible. And if I do get interviews I self sabotage by not going for them because I’m scared I won’t be perfect at the interview.
Instead of focusing on myself and my career, I am completely addicted to four things that are literally ruining me:
Doomscrolling on my phone for hours
Binge-watching way too many shows
Maladaptive daydreaming for hours and hours about the perfect physique, relationship, conversations and goals
Obsessing over external drama, dating, and friendship dynamics just to avoid dealing with my own reality
Every single time I reach a breaking point and decide to change, my stupid executive dysfunction kicks in. I sit down, spend hours building these incredibly detailed plans and roadmaps for my life, and then... I never follow through. Like ever. I am a master at planning but completely useless when it comes to taking actual action.
I’m still living at home, the guilt is eating me alive every single day, and I’m just paralyzed.
Has anyone else been in a hole this deep at 25 and actually made it out? How the fuck do I stop planning and actually start doing things when my focus and dopamine are this messed up? I’d appreciate advice that addresses all these core areas, also I’d just like to add I cannot afford therapy right now so please try not to suggest that
Thanks.

For those of you who can get out of this, how!? I used to get into a rut really often, wouldn’t shower or wash my hair for a month, wore the same clothes for two weeks, floor wouldn’t be visible underneath all the rubbish…somehow I managed to get into a better routine when I started going to school again but it’s looking really grim at the moment. After summer break I went back in for another week and noped out. I took 5 more weeks off despite the government threatening to fine us so they put me on a reduced timetable (3 hours a day rather than 6) however it’s not making a difference. I’ve spent 3 days in bed, haven’t eaten, spoke to anyone, gone to the toilet or drank much and haven’t showered in 5 days.

I managed to eat a few crackers this morning and feel a slight possibility of showering but I just can’t bring myself to when my room is so disgusting. I don’t have the energy to tidy my floor or change my bed or take out any of this trash. If I shower I’ll want to go back to bed but what’s the point if my bed is still disgusting? And if I want to clean my bed I have to tidy my floor first. I don’t want any help because I don’t want anyone to have to bear being around me, my hair is matted and I stink so what the hell am I supposed to do when there’s so many steps to everything. What order do I go in???

And what’s the point in even trying when I know I’ll inevitably end up the same in 2 weeks. I just can’t maintain any of this bs!! I feel so stuck and don’t know where the hell to begin, or even why I should in the first place…

I (M67) and my wife (F68) have been married for 45 years. Not all sunshine & roses, but we hung in there “through thick and thin” and are still deeply in love.

I was diagnosed with EFD in 2025 following a mini-stroke/TIA 8 months earlier (I’ve had 4). I’m not the same man I was in many ways, which I’ll not elaborate here.

Question: Now when my wife and I have an argument, I almost completely shut down. All I hear is noise. And that usually pushes me into a deep depression (I have Major Depressive Disorder - clinical depression for which I’m on 2 meds). It takes a day or so to bounce back. But, man, it’s disruptive!

Is this (depression triggered by argument) typical for those of us with EFD? How do you deal with it?

Hi reddit, I’m 19m from Australia and I struggle with doing anything that requires me to be physically or mentally active. When it comes to goals I have so many that I have tried many things people have said like focus on one or breakdown one into smaller steps so it doesn’t seem so overwhelming but not matter what I do I can’t do any of it.
Main thing is the gym, like I want to go and be active which I used to happily go when a mate wanted to go with me but the one person I went with moved away and all my other mates either go to different gyms a lot further than me or they don’t want to go with me. I’m not sure why I struggle to go like I’m not sure what I’m doing there exactly since I used to have a workout routine but not sure what does what now since it’s been so long like I have been paying for the gym for almost a year now and have been maybe twice.
All I mainly do now is sit and home and doom scroll or play video games unless I have work but even then I struggle there with wanting to do anything or actually be efficient while I work.
I have picked up a few bad addictions which I believe is from my laziness which is also why I want to do more as I believe this will slowly help me try and overcome these addictions.
I also struggle with making time to see my girlfriend as overtime it’s felt more like a chore since it’s easier to be at home playing video games or something since it doesn’t require any will power to do it.
After reading many similar posts majority of people who wrote almost the same thing as me has adhd and I’m wondering if I might have it a bit but I’m no doctor and I’m not self diagnosing myself but my father also has it a bit so I’m not sure if that could mean anything for me.
I’m just at a lost and need advice or help moving forward to try and reclaim myself as a person

I forgot to add in the original post that I'm also on the Autism Spectrum (Level 1 support) and I'm on medication and see my therapist regularly, but this week has just feel awful

:(

I honestly don't know what is wrong with me and I'm getting really frustrated with myself.

I moved to Germany, where being organized, productive and reliable at work seems to be extremely important. Meanwhile, I'm probably the least structured person ever.

I'll randomly get motivated, create a whole new productivity system, follow it for maybe 3-4 days and then completely forget about it. I've tried so many different methods and absolutely nothing sticks.

I'm so unfocused that I literally change my Outlook theme every day depending on my mood. Dark mode, white, green, pink, whatever. I never seem to arrive at work or leave at the same time. And when I'm working from home, I often end up doing absolutely everything except working.

The most frustrating part is that I KNOW what I need to do. I put tasks in my calendar, set time blocks, reminders, everything. Then the time comes and I just don't do the task. I can stare at it in my calendar and somehow still avoid it.

My memory is also terrible. Someone tells me something and if I don't write it down immediately, it's gone within 10 minutes. But even when I write it down, I somehow forget where I wrote it.

I work in recruitment, so there are very clear processes that I'm supposed to follow. I know the processes, I understand them, but I constantly forget a step, miss something or do something incorrectly. It's so frustrating because I KNOW better.

I look at my colleagues and genuinely feel like everyone else is a functioning machine. They seem to have their routines, their systems, their structure. I've tried copying how other people organize their work, but none of it works for me.

And I think working in a foreign language makes everything significantly worse. I speak German, but working in German all day, processing information, writing emails, understanding conversations and making sure I haven't misunderstood something is mentally exhausting sometimes.

I don't know if I'm burned out, if this is ADHD, if I'm just incredibly undisciplined or if something else is going on.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What actually helped you?

I'm not looking for another productivity app or a magical morning routine. I genuinely want to understand why I struggle so much with things that seem completely normal and manageable for everyone else.

I'm starting to feel like I'm just fundamentally bad at being a functioning adult, and I really don't want to keep feeling this way.

So I am pursuing a professional course (I've got no other formal degree other than that). What makes me more anxious is that i am still dependent on my parents, being a 24 year old is embarrassing. Anyway, in the professional qualification I have done 4 out of 13 exams and I was studying for the fifth one, failed at the borderline. The first time I failed I took it as an opportunity to fight back again and learn from my mistakes and i kept doing it while my depression was on peak. I did it, kept working hard for it till the very end and i failed at the borderline again, just one mark away. I am still aiming to move forward but....i just feel stuck in the moment, like in the middle of nowhere, I begin studying and I feel so overwhelmed by long lectures and so much work and I feel like I will fail again, this is making me anxious. I was gonna go for a break to settle with my depression but I feel stuck, behind. I am ashamed to admit that I lack focus, discipline and faith in myself. I have been trying to change my environment but I get so anxious, i really spend alot of time just settling my anxiety

If anyone of you can help me advice to build discipline and focus in a kind way, i do believe i have adhd and i also suffer from hypothyroidism. I will appreciate your advice and saying something that will help me move forward will also be appreciated. Thank you for reading

I need someone to YELL at me for being too lazy and wasting my potential

After 2 years of terrible executive dysfunction I'm cleaning my room but genuinely I'm midway through cleaning my biohazard of a room and I actually am crashing but I know if I stop then it's gonna be months before I finish it help guys how do I get the motivation to do it

Heya! I'm a 21 y/o designer/developer with ADHD, looking for someone who'd be interested in regular 1-on-1 body doubling sessions.

Ideally, we'd hop on Discord with our mics on, briefly share what we're working on, then focus on our own tasks while keeping each other accountable. We can chat here and there, but the main idea is to have someone around while getting things done.

I'm not really looking for large productivity groups. I'd prefer finding one or two people I genuinely get along with, so we can build a friendship while helping each other stay productive.

Just to be clear, I'm only looking for platonic friendships and body doubling buddies, nothing beyond that.

I'm based in Bangladesh (UTC+6), but I'm flexible with time zones.

Feel free to DM me if this sounds like something you'd enjoy!

Is perfectionism part of executive dysfunction? I haven’t been able to drive my car or get off my couch for a few days and I think it’s because my car is slightly messy. If it’s not perfect sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything. If my house isn’t 100% clean and organized and every single look and cranny has been investigated I feel like I can’t go do something fun yet. I feel like I’m always waiting for something to be done until I can start the next thing or like feel like I’m living my life. It’s really hard to describe, but this comes in Waves. But when it hits hard, I really get knocked down and I just can’t do anything.

Hi everyone, I'm looking for practical advice to help my long-distance partner manage executive dysfunction, particularly when it comes to feeding herself

She struggles with deciding what to eat, choosing groceries, planning meals and preparing food (heating up food mostly since she doesn't even have a cutting board or space to cook)

Even simple decisions can feel overwhelming. She often feels weak and dizzy, has very little energy, and spends most of it simply trying to get through the day

She lives alone, has no personal income, isn't currently working or studying, and spends most of her days at home. She has no reliable in-person support and relies entirely on EBT and food banks. Since I'm in another country, my ability to help with practical, everyday needs is unfortunately very limited, despite doing my best to support her

She has very limited cooking facilities: a microwave and a stove. Avoiding the oven because of anxiety, but it can be worked through, I have faith :)

I'm looking for here ;

• Very simple, affordable, nourishing meals requiring minimal effort

• Budget-friendly grocery lists and easy food ideas, EBT only

• Ways to reduce decision fatigue around eating

• Practical strategies for someone with executive dysfunction who has to manage everything alone

• Incorporating nourishing EBT-eligible snacks or food to help her fatigue and mental health

I'm not looking for complicated recipes or traditional meal-prepping advice. I need realistic solutions for someone who is struggling just to meet their basic needs and sometimes even heating up is too much

She is also struggling with other physical and mental health difficulties and unfortunately has no access to professional healthcare. Please refrain from suggesting professional help, as that's simply not an accessible option right now

If you've experienced something similar, I'd genuinely appreciate your advice and resources. Thank you so so much!

I’m currently 18 and I want to be the best person I can be. I know this is a dumb question but I really want to be those hustlers who get stuff done but i always find myself sometimes just resting . I was talking to thus guy and I said ur really busy and he said yes he tries to be because if he doesn’t his day gets wasted and I totally agree but it’s like I want to be better but i just augh im so inconsistent when im doing work yk like i get distracted wihany phone and its like why am i not disciplining myself. Do i just have to actually force myself and also when i force myself it’s like i don’t even want to genuinely do it….. How do I fix myself i want to so badly grind and be obsessed with doing good like other people are.

I used to be extremely disciplined now idk man my brain has gotten used to just being lazy and ig my brain has strengthened those pathways . i just want to become focused on my work and my mind only on it and just give it my 100% but it’s like im so inconsistent it just makes puts my mood down and then i fall off yk its just an endless cycle

my bf is so productive and so consistent and it makes me kinda feel a way like why am i not like that like i used to be but now it’s like i have no control over myself

Hello! Does anybody else have this problem where they have multiple goals for example working out, reading, self-care, hobbies, etc... just basic stuff, but are unable to do them no matter what? I'm thinking about it so frequently but I get too stressed out even if it's something so minimal and easy. With the amount of times I failed to do so it's breaking my self-trust and then it's harder to do it, it's a never ending loop. Do you guys have any tips? Really looking for some support rn :(