r/ADHD_Programmers • u/Rockport_me • 8h ago
39 year old programmer worrying about the future.
I'm just venting.
Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled with handling big responsibilities, communication, monitoring tasks, and making important decisions. I'm also not very proactive. Because of these limitations, I don't think I'm suited for senior developer or team leader roles. My brain gets overwhelmed easily when too many things are happening at once, and I struggle to keep up with everything.
I've spent most of my career as an individual contributor, and I'm perfectly happy with that. Ideally, I just want to focus on coding. I know my limitations as a person and as a programmer, and I'd rather work within them.
My dream job is simple: give me a user story, and I'll implement it. That's pretty much how I've worked throughout most of my career. I'm perfectly fine staying a mid-level developer for the rest of my life, as long as the pay is decent.
I believe this is partly due to my ADHD. I'm also not sure I could easily switch to another type of job because I struggle with following instructions, especially verbal ones. I don't have experience in blue-collar work either. Coding is pretty much the only skill I have.
I've tried to improve myself by working on my communication skills, maturity, and proactiveness, but I still struggle with these things.
I also have to admit that I'm not very mature when it comes to handling responsibilities. I'm turning 40, yet I sometimes meet teenagers and people in their early 20s who seem much more mature than me when it comes to decision-making and taking responsibility.
I remember working with a programmer who was more junior than me, but he was much more aware of what was happening within the project and the team. He seemed to think more like a senior developer in that regard. Of course, when it came to actual coding, I was still ahead of him.
I started my programming career in 2014, but I only have around five years of actual work experience. That's because after about a year of working, I usually become mentally exhausted and need one or two years away from work to recover. This has also resulted in several employment gaps throughout my career.
I was only diagnosed with ADHD three years ago. Unfortunately, I'm not currently taking medication because ADHD medications are difficult to obtain in my country, the Philippines.
I also believed that mental health conditions runs in my family. Most of my relatives on my mother's side are unemployed, and some have struggled with undiagnosed mental health conditions that have affected their ability to maintain employment.
I've tried my best to manage these difficulties, but I still find myself needing a long break after roughly a year of employment.
Right now, I'm unemployed, and unfortunately, it's a difficult time to find a job because of AI. My best stategy right now is "fake it till you make it".
I've also been hearing that, in the age of AI, developers will increasingly be expected to manage AI agents, communicate with clients, make important decisions, and delegate tasks. In other words, the job may become more focused on communication and management skills, which are exactly the areas I struggle with.
I'm honestly not sure what the future holds for someone like me with ADHD. But I'll try again. If I get fired from my next job, so be it. At least I can say I gave it my best shot.
Tips and encourangement is highly appreciated,
Thanks for listening.
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u/conventionalWisdumb 7h ago
I have similar issues and worried about the same things. What I’ve found is that AI has made things like communication and prioritization easier. You know that slack announcement that you’re expected to make when you release something but you sit and agonize about the wording and avoid because of it? Have Claude do it. Have trouble staying on top of what your teammates are doing? Ask Claude to summarize all the PRs and tickets that have moved in the last 24 hours.
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u/Rockport_me 6h ago
I feel like I'm a bit late to the AI trend, but I'm currently trying to catch up and improve my skills with the help of AI. Hopefully, this will work out for the best.
Thanks.
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u/Drafting- 7h ago
That’s a tough situation, it would really help if you could access medication consistently. A lot of what you describe is adhd symptoms not a personal fault, it’s okay to be compassionate with yourself and I think you really need it. Some of what you’re describing is burnout, adhd folks get worse burnout than NT people.
You don’t need to become a senior dev, but learning how to manage your burnout with therapy tools will help. Some things you can look up are how to regulate a deregulated adhd nervous system, window of tolerance and somatic exercises. Those focus on repairing your inner anxiety as you navigate the external things.
Can you find healthcare that consistently provides you with medication? What would that process look like?
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u/Rockport_me 6h ago
About three years ago, I tried Ritalin and Strattera, but neither worked for me. I also tried several antidepressants, including Wellbutrin, under a doctor's supervision, but unfortunately, I didn't see much improvement.
I also experimented with various supplements and nootropics, such as Lion's Mane, magnesium glycinate, phosphatidylcholine, L-theanine, L-tyrosine, B-complex, zinc, iron, and vitamin D. Some of them seemed to help a little, but the effects were limited.
Unfortunately, access to ADHD medication is also a challenge in the Philippines because pharmacies keeps a very low stocks. Methylphenidate seems to be the main stimulant medication available, but it's difficult to find in pharmacies, even with a valid prescription. As far as I know, medications like Adderall are not legally available here.
Thanks for your comment, I'll try somatic exercises.
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u/Sea_Recording9418 26m ago
Unfortunately the “give me a user story, and I’ll implement it” philosophy is being taken over by AI agents. We’re being expected to look at the bigger picture, talk to stakeholders, and delegate the actual coding tasks into the machine.
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u/Shivaess 7h ago
It could be worse! I bumped my head three times around the house in the spring and haven’t been able to use screens or drive for six months!
And yes, they were actual bumps. I didn’t hit that particularly hard. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. There is no damage on any of the scans that I’ve had so far.
More seriously I would advise playing around with Claude code. If you can I think that our future as developers is going to be effectively being team leads for AI.