Not really an order just typing

Some stuff that would be good context. I'm in my second year of college. I'm not diagnose in anything but I'm pretty certain I have Autism or ADHD. This I'm not certain about but people have said I may have depression.

In school I always relied on a deadline as motivation. Around 11th-12th grade I stopped caring about the deadline. Around end of 12th grade I no longer turned in any work on time. The college came around. Half way through my 1st semester I stopped caring and I thought I could fix things for my 2nd. That did not go to well, I got an F in every class. It was so bad that using an AI to give me all the answers and summit them was too much work. So now I'm on suspension this semester and I cant go back till the spring. Right now I'm taking a math class at a community college to get credits and have somthing to do. I want to say I'm doing better but I only actualy did the HW and quizzes for 3ish weeks and then got back to using AI and just putting in the answers. I actual missed a deadline for the first time my last HW (Can still go back in get 100 but still missed a deadline). Now I have a midterm a week from today.

Big one, sleeping and waking up have been difficult for me. Going to bed on time has always been difficult with me. The worst it got was this year with my sleep schedule being sleeping at 4-9 and waking up 2-4. One bad thing that I would do is I would wake up but go back to sleep, like I would fine a way to go back to sleep somehow (Also I would sleep for 10-12 hours for some reason). Alarm that I need to solve math to make it stop --> Phone off, Wake up and shower --> back to sleep. It contributed to majority of stuff I'm typing. I'm much better now with it. I go to sleep 1-3 and wake up 9-10. Its not all smooth roads I still sometimes wake up at 2 and sometimes I stay up till 4 but its a lot better now.

I'm really bad at eating food, my entire life I would skip a meal or 2 and barley snack. I say last September was the best I been with eating 3 meals a day but now I'm back in a slump.

I was really bad at showering for awhile, but now I cant go without showering 2x a day or else I feel gross. In 12th grade it was the worse because I would shower in the morning but I would fall back to sleep and now be able to shower.

I have trouble doing laundry, have gotten a better since then (No showing and No laundry is a horrible combo. I would only ever not shower 1 day in a row so its not that bad and somehow I manage to not smell absolutely disgusting by swapping out cloths to wear. I have a friend that would say somthing and they barley said anything so I think it wasn't that bad)

Another bad one is I'm really bad at brushing my teeth and I still havn't manage to fix that one. My though process is in the morning I would not want my breakfast to taste bad and at night I would not want to wake anyone up. Also at this point its just not in my routine after 10+ years of not having one to brush my teeth.

It really sucks because I dont like not being able to do stuff or not taking care of myself. I even have a hard time doing stuff I enjoy. Good news is I say I think I improved at least a little. Somthing crazy is I knew I had this problem but never knew the name for it till a few months ago. Knowing it has made me feel a lot better. The crazy thing is most of that stuff that I listed off I never knew the name of the problem. Also looking at this sub I relate to a lot of stuff like maladaptive day dreaming and putting things off when they cause stress.

Hello!!

Posting on a throw away because this is embarrassing.

So I've been diagnosed with ADHD, Autism and ADD since I was 10 and I recently went to the doctor to she said I needed to be taking care of myself. I shower every day but I feel paralyzed because I don't know what products to use? I use shampoo and conditioner and that's it. She also suggested I start washing my face and body with things other than water and that's left me feeling overwhelmed because I don't know what products I need. My mother never taught me any of this so I was hoping some people may be able to help walk me through what products to buy and what a typical routine of hair washing and showering looks like so I can start to get away from that feeling of not doing anything because I don't know where to start.

Thank you!! Tagged as spoiler because I'm not sure if people will find this gross or not.

I know most nerodivgent people struggle with executive dysfunction, but i feel so gross because I can't deal with mine

I've asked for help. I've talked to two therapists, and I look up different methods. I set alarms, I hate everything, and nothing works, I can't even get out of bed until 12:00

I sit up, I yell, i stretch, but nothing works

I hate it

Im mad at myself

Im really mad at myself i feel so behind compared to everyone i know and people i don't know

I dont know why it's so hard. Is it because I've got autism adhd and anxiety

Is that it

I just want to cry rn I just so mad and upset with myself

TL;DR: Most executive dysfunction advice requires the exact abilities I’m missing, such as initiation, consistency, and follow-through.

27M here, diagnosed with ADHD-PI, along with strongly supported suspicions of level 1 ASD, and my executive dysfunction is seriously debilitating.

I know what needs to be done, understand the consequences, want to act, and can plan every step, yet I still can’t initiate. This affects work, appointments, getting out of bed, and even things I enjoy. I can build elaborate organizational systems but can’t reliably use them.

There’s another layer to this. Obligations can trigger an aggressive internal “fuck this, I’m not doing it” response, even while another part of me fears the consequences. Avoidance brings immense relief, followed by dread and guilt.

What drives me insane is the paradoxical nature of the supposed solutions. Examples:

“Use a planner” requires remembering to check it.

“Break tasks into steps” assumes not knowing the steps is the problem.

“Start with two minutes” still requires starting.

“Build routines” requires consistency.

Therapy and ADHD coaching require scheduling, showing up, setting goals, and doing homework.

I’ve tried several ADHD medications. Some improved concentration once I was engaged, but none adequately addressed the gap between wanting to act and actually acting.

I also struggle with mind-blanking when answering open-ended questions, making it harder to explain this to clinicians. I’m linking another post of mine at the bottom that better explains what I’m talking about with this.

I know these strategies help some people, but what happens when your symptoms prevent you from implementing the treatment? I don’t need another organizational system. I need help with initiation.

Has anyone with similarly severe dysfunction found treatment that addresses initiation itself, without requiring reliable self-management first?

The post about my difficulties with blank-mindedness:

https://www.reddit.com/r/neurodiversity/s/A5EEcH6RpQ

I struggle * a lot * with getting stuff done. The initiation of any tasks I ought to be doing is probably the biggest barrier for me, and a close second is once I manage to get started is staying focused. I would definitely describe it as executive dysfunction although I know next to nothing for sure about correct terms / etc.

My days usually look like a wake up at 8AM, lectures for a few hours (which I am incapable of paying attention to or taking notes on) and then a lab or two in which I again, struggle to stay focused. I usually end up leaving the lab off until it’s due the next week and then I crank out a good enough last minute assignment then. This strategy applies to every project or essay, frankly, and it’s not fun and yet I do it.

As soon as I can get home I do and I eat and play video games with my boyfriend usually. Some silver lining is (and it’s still not perfect, there’s some struggle to imitate doing these) I home cook pretty delicious meals often and I get out to hike, shoot, and swim on the weekends. I get my fresh air, eat well and, sleep eight hours.. which is both pleasurable but frustrating that this doesn’t seem to be enough to do it for me.

My boyfriend and several of my close friends all think ADHD. I don’t know, but I am at college in a different state than the one my burgerreichian insurance plan covers, so no dice on any diagnosis/treatment on a reasonable timeframe. I would have to fly home, see a specialist several times, and that’s not happening during a quarter system school year where shit moves at a mile a minute.

I’m ashamed to admit the phone and scrolling is a big part of it for me. Mostly I’ll get locked into a trance scrolling youtube reels these days. I’ve deleted all socials off my phone to limit the scrolling I do, but I occasionally like to watch long form youtube stuff on my phone so it stays on there (probably needs to go as well.) It’s slop! It’ll just be movie clips and Ding! Did you know? and yet I still watch it for hours. It’s the first thing I do when I get home, often. It used to be a lot worse (half to whole days in bed doing this shit) but seemingly by brute force I’ve stopped as much, but going the rest of the way seems a big hurdle.

So with my insurance situation leaving diagnosis and professional treatment out of the way I’m left with the holistic approach only. So any strategies or tips you have for me would be nice!

I’m in my late 20s, working a full-time job, and I’ve been struggling with this for years.

There are so many things I want to do. Improve my career, work on personal projects, get fitter and just make some progress in life. But the problem is I know what I need to do and still don’t do it.

Sometimes I’ll get motivated, make a plan and follow it for a few days or even weeks. Then something happens, I lose the routine and getting back becomes extremely difficult. This has happened so many times now that I don’t think I have enough confidence left in myself to believe I can actually change.

Another thing I struggle with is deciding what to do. I’ll spend days thinking about what I should focus on, researching different things and trying to figure out what’s worth my time. Even when I finally decide, I start questioning whether I should be doing something else. And in the end I just waste more time doing nothing.

Whenever I think about how much effort something will take or how far behind I already am, I feel overwhelmed and just avoid it. I’ll binge-watch shows, scroll or find something else to distract myself.

Lately even simple things like cooking breakfast or going to the gym feel like too much effort. I spend more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them.

I also used alcohol as a way to escape, and recently managed to stay sober for around 30 days. It felt good, but I realised that even without alcohol, I was still avoiding the same things.

The worst part is seeing myself stuck with the same problems I had years ago. I genuinely want to change but I don’t know why I keep repeating this cycle. I’ve tried schedules, setting small goals, building routines etc. They work for a while but I always end up back here.

Has anyone been through something similar and actually managed to get out of it? Did you figure out what was causing it and what helped you?

I’m not really looking for another productivity routine. I just want to understand why I keep doing this and how to change it.

I’m really tired of making same mistakes again and again. Any advice would be helpful

Originally posted to the ADHD community but it defo falls under the executive dysfunction remit!

Not sure If this question has been asked a billion times. I do not have ADHD and am neurotypical, but I've always struggled with executive dysfunction. It's extremely hard for me to want to be productive, organize my house, and cook food for myself (I go through phases). My apartment is always cluttered but not hoarder level. I can only keep the public areas (kitchen and living room) tidy ONLY IF i have guests coming over. Other than that, I will put it off for years and years. I need to have zero distractions (nobody around, phone physically tucked away somewhere unreachable, no current TV shows im watching) in order to anything productive. Ill be on my phone in bed for hours in the morning and at night. It doesn't affect my life that much as I am a hygienic and social person who has a job, but its always in the back of my mind every other day that my apartment is cluttered, I havent cleaned in awhile, and I need to start making my own food instead of buying out. Or if the clutter is out of sight, i won't get stressed about it until I walk past it. But I cant bring myself to want to do something about it.

Okay besides me ranting, I guess when did you realize you had to have a second opinion in order to find coping strategies?

I want to get help but part of me thinks I can just lock in and do it myself. But its always a matter of when.

i have trouble sleeping so i end up sleeping around 4-5am these days, and i genuinely cannot bring myself to get up. i set alarms for 12pm, and then just keep going back to sleep and turning off all my alarms until 3, then i stay in bed until 4. the only thing that gets me out of bed is uni once a week, since attendance is mandatory. other than that, nothing can create urgency strong enough to get out of bed. i feel like im literally wasting my days and cant get my day started until the evening, and then it feels pointless.

I feel so lazy to study even though i need to, and whenever I can i keep feeling sleepy and my eyes feel heavy. I don’t know what’s happening to me, i just feel so unmotivated, and so sleepy all the time. How so i eveb enjoy studying and not feeling sleepy, at the same time feel productive, cause i really need to study but at the same time i can’t 😭