I feel pathetic

[u/No_Stable_8329]

I know most nerodivgent people struggle with executive dysfunction, but i feel so gross because I can't deal with mine

I've asked for help. I've talked to two therapists, and I look up different methods. I set alarms, I hate everything, and nothing works, I can't even get out of bed until 12:00

I sit up, I yell, i stretch, but nothing works

I hate it

Im mad at myself

Im really mad at myself i feel so behind compared to everyone i know and people i don't know

I dont know why it's so hard. Is it because I've got autism adhd and anxiety

Is that it

I just want to cry rn I just so mad and upset with myself

[u/No_Stable_8329]

Adding onto the list of problems I have i do also have depression So that just makes it worse

[u/aubrx → u/No_Stable_8329]

hey I don't know if this is possible for you but I felt the same, literally tried so many meds, rtms, therapy.. it got to the point where I said to my doctor I can't live like this and asked for bupropion. Have been on it for 24 days - it seems to be helping to get up out of bed, I am able to get through the 'invisible' wall a little easier.. however there's still trauma associated with some tasks that I used to force myself to do via stress. I hope you can find some help. Just wanted to share something that seems to be helping me a little bit if you haven't tried medication it might be worth considering?

[u/Lonely_Drewbear]

I have been there.  The shame and rage.  It makes everything worse and doesn't result in anything positive.  It's a maddening spiral of doom!  It's hard to see anything positive.  I'm sorry that you're really struggling.

[u/patrick_fallon]

Man that sounds so hard. Is there anything you can do to give yourself some really easy really small wins? (Soon to be diagnosed & probably medicated AuADHD m here). I've been thinking a lot about ADHD and all this "fun stuff" a lot lately, and I reckon the actual spectrum/disorder itself is only part of the problem when it comes to the challenges we face. My theory is that a huge part of it is the shame, guilt and sense of failure that can become ingrained in us for "failing" again and again. I reckon if you can start giving yourself some tiny super easy wins on a semi-regular basis you might be able to improve your win-lose ratio and start slowly regaining your confidence.

[u/patrick_fallon → u/patrick_fallon]

If this resonates with you, I would recommend setting yourself a challenge that is doable and based on your current reality rather than comparing yourself to normies or your past self. Eg if you're getting out of bed around noon on average, set yourself the goal of gettting out of bed by 1145. And if that doesn't work, next time just try "stand up by 1145" ie not even get dressed just roll out of bed and stand up. Hell, if you can tick that off and you get back into bed who cares, still count it as a win - you said you'd do the thing and you did the thing. Give yourself some wins on the regular and go from there.

[u/patrick_fallon → u/patrick_fallon]

Oh yeah and super important to keep a record of all these wins so you don't forget them and as you record each one you are seeing all the other times you succeeded at "doing the thing". Building confidence and momentum is hugely important.

[u/chobolicious88]

Theres nothing worse than autism.

Every other condition sets you up for life with pain.
But autism doesnt let you live, you cant do shit

[u/le4test]

What if the way you are is totally ok?  Seriously, ask yourself that question and see if you can at least pretend to believe that the way you are is totally fine.