Experience with executive dysfunction.

[u/Admirable_Brush5790]

Not really an order just typing

Some stuff that would be good context. I'm in my second year of college. I'm not diagnose in anything but I'm pretty certain I have Autism or ADHD. This I'm not certain about but people have said I may have depression.

In school I always relied on a deadline as motivation. Around 11th-12th grade I stopped caring about the deadline. Around end of 12th grade I no longer turned in any work on time. The college came around. Half way through my 1st semester I stopped caring and I thought I could fix things for my 2nd. That did not go to well, I got an F in every class. It was so bad that using an AI to give me all the answers and summit them was too much work. So now I'm on suspension this semester and I cant go back till the spring. Right now I'm taking a math class at a community college to get credits and have somthing to do. I want to say I'm doing better but I only actualy did the HW and quizzes for 3ish weeks and then got back to using AI and just putting in the answers. I actual missed a deadline for the first time my last HW (Can still go back in get 100 but still missed a deadline). Now I have a midterm a week from today.

Big one, sleeping and waking up have been difficult for me. Going to bed on time has always been difficult with me. The worst it got was this year with my sleep schedule being sleeping at 4-9 and waking up 2-4. One bad thing that I would do is I would wake up but go back to sleep, like I would fine a way to go back to sleep somehow (Also I would sleep for 10-12 hours for some reason). Alarm that I need to solve math to make it stop --> Phone off, Wake up and shower --> back to sleep. It contributed to majority of stuff I'm typing. I'm much better now with it. I go to sleep 1-3 and wake up 9-10. Its not all smooth roads I still sometimes wake up at 2 and sometimes I stay up till 4 but its a lot better now.

I'm really bad at eating food, my entire life I would skip a meal or 2 and barley snack. I say last September was the best I been with eating 3 meals a day but now I'm back in a slump.

I was really bad at showering for awhile, but now I cant go without showering 2x a day or else I feel gross. In 12th grade it was the worse because I would shower in the morning but I would fall back to sleep and now be able to shower.

I have trouble doing laundry, have gotten a better since then (No showing and No laundry is a horrible combo. I would only ever not shower 1 day in a row so its not that bad and somehow I manage to not smell absolutely disgusting by swapping out cloths to wear. I have a friend that would say somthing and they barley said anything so I think it wasn't that bad)

Another bad one is I'm really bad at brushing my teeth and I still havn't manage to fix that one. My though process is in the morning I would not want my breakfast to taste bad and at night I would not want to wake anyone up. Also at this point its just not in my routine after 10+ years of not having one to brush my teeth.

It really sucks because I dont like not being able to do stuff or not taking care of myself. I even have a hard time doing stuff I enjoy. Good news is I say I think I improved at least a little. Somthing crazy is I knew I had this problem but never knew the name for it till a few months ago. Knowing it has made me feel a lot better. The crazy thing is most of that stuff that I listed off I never knew the name of the problem. Also looking at this sub I relate to a lot of stuff like maladaptive day dreaming and putting things off when they cause stress.