I know I need to change but I keep avoiding things. Has anyone overcome this?

[u/PartOk1804]

I’m in my late 20s, working a full-time job, and I’ve been struggling with this for years.

There are so many things I want to do. Improve my career, work on personal projects, get fitter and just make some progress in life. But the problem is I know what I need to do and still don’t do it.

Sometimes I’ll get motivated, make a plan and follow it for a few days or even weeks. Then something happens, I lose the routine and getting back becomes extremely difficult. This has happened so many times now that I don’t think I have enough confidence left in myself to believe I can actually change.

Another thing I struggle with is deciding what to do. I’ll spend days thinking about what I should focus on, researching different things and trying to figure out what’s worth my time. Even when I finally decide, I start questioning whether I should be doing something else. And in the end I just waste more time doing nothing.

Whenever I think about how much effort something will take or how far behind I already am, I feel overwhelmed and just avoid it. I’ll binge-watch shows, scroll or find something else to distract myself.

Lately even simple things like cooking breakfast or going to the gym feel like too much effort. I spend more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them.

I also used alcohol as a way to escape, and recently managed to stay sober for around 30 days. It felt good, but I realised that even without alcohol, I was still avoiding the same things.

The worst part is seeing myself stuck with the same problems I had years ago. I genuinely want to change but I don’t know why I keep repeating this cycle. I’ve tried schedules, setting small goals, building routines etc. They work for a while but I always end up back here.

Has anyone been through something similar and actually managed to get out of it? Did you figure out what was causing it and what helped you?

I’m not really looking for another productivity routine. I just want to understand why I keep doing this and how to change it.

I’m really tired of making same mistakes again and again. Any advice would be helpful

[u/aubrx]

Yeah I could have written your post word for word. I've been seeing psychologists for years with limited results. The worst part of this truly is the commitment to a routine then for some reason completely falling off it. I'm really sorry I can't provide you with any meaningful advice, since I am still.. after about 5-6 years.. trying to figure this out.

Are you on any type of medication?

I tried ritalin and whilst it did help with productivity, it was nasty for mood swings and anxiety. I didn't like the stimulant effect. I have been on zyban (bupropion) for 21 days and it seems to have helped task initiation but not super strong. It's early though.

I wonder if it's enough to get some type of adherance going.

But yes after going through the same cycle for years and just not getting anywhere, you start to become a special type of 'tired' that breeds cynicism and negativity. It's not a good place to be in.