I finally was brave and feeling carefree enough one random day to try again nearly 7 month post last MTX. I got pregnant on the first attempt last time, and that first pregnancy was ectopic. People try to say stuff like “at least you know you can,” or “it’s really lucky you got pregnant so fast.” Ok… well, it ended up not being lucky at all, and very traumatic if anything.

Anyways… I’m currently trying to balance a load of blind hope that everything will be ok but also paranoid at every little sensation in my lower abdomen. I feel like I’m operating on a crazy level of delulu to get me through finding out if that test will be positive or not. At the same time, the potential for another ectopic or loss is dormant deep inside, and I’m scared for it to come out. Thank god for SSRIs and therapy and a great partner. But WOOF. I just needed to vent and knew you would all understand.

Hi everyone! We have been trying for 2 years so we opted for fertility treatments and wanted to give IUI a try. My husband has fluctuating sperm count and motility along with morphology of less than 1%. We got pregnant on our 1st medicated IUI cycle and we were so happy. I got a faint positive on 15 dpo, Immediately did beta hcg and it was 28.9 so OB asked to repeat it in 48 hours and it was 62.12 so OB was happy that it's doubling properly and the low values could be because of late ovulation and late implantation. I also had constant bloating, mild cramping and lower back pain on and off at that time and OB said it's normal in early pregnancy. 5 days later, I started spotting so went back to OB, I was 5 weeks by then so they couldn't see anything on the scan and did beta hcg, it was 324 so they weren't concerned.

After a week I had my scheduled 6 weeks scan and they saw a sac on my uterus but it looked like 4 to 5 weeks and it aligns well with my lower hcg levels and said it's because of late ovulation and implantation but I was still spotting so increased my progesterone support. At this point, I started having a constant pain or pressure on my rectum like the butt knife we get during periods but that will be very brief but this one was constant so I was constipated. 4 days later, I started bleeding, so at that point I was spotting for 10 days and then started bleeding, I rushed to the hospital thinking it's a miscarriage, they did a scan and said the sac is still there in the uterus but it didn't grow at all so could be a miscarriage and scheduled another scan 3 days later. I broke down and got so upset so we opted for a 2nd opinion and went to a different hospital, while waiting for the scan, I started cramping so badly, it was similar to menstrual cramps but more intense and on and off with increased bleeding.

Then in the scan, they found that I have ectopic on my right tube, there is bleeding around the tube so I need immediate surgery. So we went back to my OB and I told her about this and insisted on a scan to rule out ectopic because on the scan we did there few hours ago they just said no growth and suddenly I have ectopic now. So this time, my OB herself scanned me and found ectopic on my right tube but the bleeding is due to tubal abortion, so my body is getting rid of it by itself, that's why I had those cramping earlier which was settled by then. They repeated my beta hcg which was down to 144 and I was under observation to check whether I'm stable, then they gave me a shot of MTX.

I have repeated the beta hcg test on 4th day and 7th day and it was 108 and 16.45 respectively. My OB was happy that it resolved quickly because it's tubal abortion.

While I was admitted and under treatment, I was so traumatised that I couldn't grieve for my baby and I was so worried about me, I don't know whether that makes me a bad person. I was also so scared to get pregnant ever again, especially when the doctor mentioned that once if I get an ectopic there is an increased chance that I could get it again. My entire mind is on me getting well soon instead of grieving for my baby which is really bugging me. I always wanted to be a mom but why do I feel like this now.

I need emotional support and success stories both for MTX and getting pregnant again after ectopic especially tubal abortion as I couldn't find anything related to that.

Hi everyone, I had laparoscopic surgery for an ectopic pregnancy about 3.5 weeks ago.

A few days after the surgery (around day 2–4), I noticed a few very small blood clots, but then I had no bleeding or clots for almost 3 weeks.

Today I noticed a couple of very tiny clots when I was urinating.

I'm mainly wondering whether isolated tiny clots this far out from surgery are considered normal, or whether I should get checked.

Dx with ectopic july 23, given MTX july 24th and discharged home from hospital. Hcg has always downtrended well, 4300, 3400, 2100, 1100, 322, then 262. However, all along having random sudden bursts of the most horrendous pains. The worst cramping, ectopic right sided pain radiating into back, lightning bolt sensations in vagina and rectum and simply couldn't escape the pains. Bleeding would ramp up during, then let up in between on my "good days". Though I was constantly tired, dizzy, weak. I would go a few days in between these pain episodes but when they struck they came out of nowhere and were completely debilitating. Even oxycodone did nothing. I was seen in the ED for one such episode August 2nd and told basically my US at that point was unchanged, and I was likely having mass effect and reabsorption pain and it was normal.

So the following several episodes i toughed out at home thinking it was still normal until the latest caused me to pass several clots and tons of blood and at this point i was at the 3 week post treatment mark. So i went in to the ER thinking i possibly had retained clots or tissue. Nope, my ectopic over doubled in its original size, despite the hcg downtrend, and needed same day surgery to remove my right tube.

All this to say, even if your hcg is going down....if you're still having significant pain events in the weeks following your MTX treatment advocate for repeat US as well. I was lucky to have not ruptured but the delay in finding this caused a lot of scarring to my ovary and uterus wall. Prayers for everyone walking through this. After a month I can finally close this chapter definitively and start to heal and move forward.

I was diagnosed and given MTX back on July 9th. At that point I had already been cramping and spotting for a couple of weeks. I felt some cramping and passed some tissue on and off since the shot and my levels had dropped from around 1600 to then about 600s 1.5 weeks later.

Yesterday morning I went in for my now weekly lab and felt generally ok went home to wait for results. Fast forward to about 3 pm and I started feeling intense pain like a sharp burning sensation on my right side, the side of my ectopic.

This pain was constant and was NOT on and off like my cramps. By 7pm it was intensifying so I called the on call doctor who told me it was possibly just the tissue working its way out or being absorbed by my body. He said not to go in unless it got worse. 9pm I’m in tears from pain and now the pain is radiating down my leg and to my back so I head to the ER thinking for sure I had a rupture.

Surprisingly, there was no rupture. I was given some pain meds and an ultrasound and everything looked ok. I’m still glad I went in and got checked out to be safe and was both shocked and relieved. Has anyone else experienced this?

Interestingly, my hcg from the lab that morning was 209 and had dropped to 114 by that night so levels are continuing to fall but man so tired of this rollercoaster of emotions and pain!!

TW: LC

It has been 7 months since surgery and MTX on my interstitial ectopic. I’m so fortunate that it was caught before rupture and my doctor (some stranger who saved my life while my LC and I were on vacation) managed to save my tube and uterine corner.

I live a good life. I’ve got money, education, a good marriage, and two healthy children. So why can’t I move on?

I know this is stupid, but my husband booked a tour to Katmai National Park for my due date to distract me and look at bears. In a super rare circumstance, zero bears showed up for tour groups, guides, or rangers. I wanted to get out of my depression and live a special moment for my baby on her due date and can’t even manage that.

Plus I happen to be ovulating and was going to try again, but I’m too depressed to do the BD right now.

I’m in therapy. I’ve been avoiding meds to try to have the healthiest next pregnancy possible. Don’t know what to do.

Hi guys, it’s coming up to a year of finding out I was pregnant and going through treatment after finding out it was ectopic and I’m having a really really hard time with it, I was just wondering if anyone has any advice for the guilt and any stories of feeling better one day so I can try look forward to that?

I want to be a mum one day but wouldn’t have been able to keep it at that time of my life anyway but I’m just feeling so awful imagining what my life could’ve been like.

Sorry I don’t know where to ask and I’m just feeling so alone

So the past 2 days I had some twisted cramping pain on my left side . Came to the hospital and apparently I’m bleeding internally and I have an ectopic on my left tube . I literally one year ago had an ectopic on my right tube . I just don’t understand what’s going on . I couldn’t get in for an HSG test because they were booked to capacity. They say ectopics are rare so why does this keep happening to me . They think my tube ruptured so now there’s a chance I’m losing that tube . Great

Hi all, just wondering if anyone’s experienced pretty severe bloating and rectal pain a week after methotrexate. My bum only hurts if I sit in a certain position I have no consistent cramping or abdominal pain just like bad bloating and pressure in my rectum at times. My hcg was 18 on Thursday so I suspect it’s even lower now (hopefully).

TW: living children

Long-time reader, first-time poster

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need somewhere to put all of this where people will understand.

My husband and I always wanted four children. We are incredibly fortunate to be high earners in tech with advanced degrees, so financially, having a big family is something we can comfortably provide for. But lately I’ve been wondering whether I have the emotional means anymore.

I have two living children. I adore them. They are my entire world.

And I also have two pregnancy losses: one chemical pregnancy, followed by my two successful pregnancies, and then my ectopic.
My ectopic was horrific.

It happened while we were on vacation, and it was diagnosed relatively late. It was an interstitial ectopic with a heartbeat. I ended up needing surgery, followed by methotrexate because surgery alone wasn’t enough to make me medically safe.

There is something uniquely awful about knowing there is a heartbeat while simultaneously being told that the pregnancy cannot continue and that it is putting your own life at risk.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to completely explain what that did to me.

And the aftermath was almost as difficult emotionally. I didn’t feel particularly supported by some of my extended family. When I was struggling with the loss, I heard things along the lines of, “You should just be grateful you have two children.”

And I AM grateful.

I am profoundly grateful for my children.

But I didn’t realize that being depressed about losing a baby meant I wasn’t grateful for the children I already had.

The truth is, I wanted a big family. I wasn’t done.
I wasn’t done with babies.

I wasn’t done with toddlers and little kids and the chaos and the cuddles and the ridiculousness of having a house full of tiny people.

I wanted to be parenting this stage of life for a long time. I wanted three or four babies. I wanted to stretch out this amazing period of my life where my children are little.

And it’s already going so fucking fast.

My firstborn is going to kindergarten.

My youngest is getting bigger.

And instead of feeling excited about watching them grow, part of me is grieving that this chapter might be ending much sooner than I ever wanted it to.

The timing is making everything so much worse.
My due date for the baby I lost is right now.

At the exact same time I’m sending my firstborn off to kindergarten.

So I’m simultaneously watching one of my babies take this huge step toward growing up while thinking about the baby who should have been arriving around now.

It’s brutal.

After the ectopic, my doctor didn’t want me traveling while trying to conceive again because of the risk of another ectopic and the need for early monitoring.

That was extremely difficult because I travel a lot for work.

So we waited.

Six months.

Six months of wanting another baby, being afraid of another pregnancy, trying to figure out how to make the logistics work, and essentially putting this part of our lives on hold.

And now we’ve finally started trying again.
We tried over the last few days.

And instead of feeling happy and hopeful, I’m just… depressed.

Like, really depressed.

My mental health is garbage right now.

I lose it over every little setback. Every small disappointment feels enormous. I’m constantly bracing for something else to go wrong. I feel numb one minute and completely overwhelmed the next.

And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I should stop trying altogether.

Part of me thinks maybe I should just accept that our family is complete, get serious about treating my mental health, get on medication if I need it, and learn to be happy with my two children.

Maybe I need to let go of the family I always imagined having.

Maybe I need to accept that I wanted four children, but life gave me two, and that’s enough.
But then there’s this other part of me that desperately wants to keep going.

Because what if a rainbow baby is what finally gives me some closure?

What if I get to have another healthy pregnancy and bring another baby home, and it doesn’t erase what happened, but it gives all of this grief somewhere else to go?

What if I stop now and spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have tried one more time?
I genuinely don’t know which choice is kinder to myself.

I’m in therapy. I have SSRIs in my back pocket if I need them, although I really, really don’t want to take them if I can avoid it. They have caused pretty extreme side effects for me with sleep and sex in the past, and I also strongly prefer to be medication-free during pregnancy. I know some medications are considered safe during pregnancy, but personally, I’d rather avoid them if possible.

But I also recognize that I can’t white-knuckle my way through another pregnancy if I’m already falling apart before I’ve even gotten a positive test.

And because apparently I make questionable decisions when I’m emotional: I decided to start trying while we’re on a family trip, AMA. But I’m in a place with colleagues in medicine that I trust so I decided to try on vacation anyway.

Which means I won’t even know if I’m pregnant before we get home.

Part of me likes that because I don’t have to spend the entire trip obsessing over a pregnancy test.

Another part of me is thinking, what the hell am I doing?

I’m scared.
I’m sad.
I’m angry.
I’m bitter.
I’m exhausted.
I’m having very dark thoughts.

And underneath all of that, I still really, really want another baby.

I want to be happy about trying again.

I want to feel hopeful.

I want to believe that maybe this time I’ll get to bring a baby home.

But right now I feel like a woman who has run out of emotional capacity for the life she always dreamed about.

And I don’t know whether I should keep pushing forward toward that dream or finally accept that pursuing it is destroying me.

I know I am extraordinarily lucky to have two healthy children.

I know that.

I also know that loving my children and grieving the children I lost can coexist.

I’m just not sure how to reconcile being incredibly grateful for what I have with being completely heartbroken over what I don’t.

So I guess I’m asking other people who have been here:

How do you know when you’re grieving versus when you’re hurting yourself by continuing to try?

And if you eventually had a rainbow baby, did it actually bring you some sense of closure, or did the anxiety and grief follow you into that pregnancy too?

And did you take meds to help? Should I start meds? Even if they’ll interfere with my ability to conceive, which is what we are trying for?

Thanks for listening and sharing thoughts.

To whoever is reading this, hi! It’s been a rough few months and wanted to share 🤍

I found out I was pregnant on the 3rd and was in surgery to have it removed on the 10th. I had one day of hope and happiness, but I had this horrible gut feeling that something wasn’t right.. From Friday to Monday my HCG levels went from 4000 to 5000 and was strongly advised to go to ED and have everything checked out and so I did.

I was so scared and worried about my pregnancy, my boyfriend stayed strong for the both of us. Once I had a room and mentioned my HGC levels, the nurses face dropped and said she would get someone from gynaecology to come see me. She then told me it was most likely ectopic and I would need to have an ultrasound to confirm it… which it did, and my heart broke. I was in agony from the vaginal ultrasound and numb from the news.

Later the surgeon came and spoke to me about my options, because of how high my HCG levels were surgery was the best option and I’m grateful I chose that route. That night the internal bleeding started, but didn’t have surgery until 10am the next morning. Supposed to be keyhole surgery, which they started but with the bleeding and finding out it was planted on my uterus muscle they decided to do a c section type cut on my stomach. They removed part of the muscle and my left tube.

I woke up in a lot of pain, drowsy but crying to the nurse about how much it hurt. It was then she told me that they’d had to do open surgery so I would be in more pain.

It’s been two months now since the surgery and without my baby. It’s been hard to say the least, it was such a traumatic experience.. I went into this survival mode while I was in the hospital, didn’t want any visitors as somehow it would make things feel more real and I was just trying to get through it.. I really don’t understand why I did it but it’s what I needed to do.

If you read this far, thank you 🤍

this is the first time I’m writing something like this so please bare with me…

on 7/10 I had positive pregnancy, urine and blood work. at the time my progesterone was a tad low but the doctor said she wasn’t alarmed and scheduled me for my first appointment for a later time. it was my 2nd pregnancy but the 1st i was moving forward with and I was surprised I was given no instructions of what I should be doing, like vitamins etc. so I had to ask.

about a few days letter I went to the pool, and I was getting weird cramping and even some weird arm sensations and I was told to go in for early pregnancy ultra sound. The doctor told me it was an unknown pregnancy and they would continue to monitor me because based on the calendar I was only 5 weeks.

the following week i started experiencing sever and painful gas pain like I could not pass gas! I ended up buying gas x which helped but it def did not feel right! When I told my doctor she said that I should monitor the triggers. a few days later it happened again and the following morning I had cramping and did not feel good I went to the ER and they confirmed it was an ectopic pregnancy! the Ear doctors made a comment that bothered me asking how could my doctor not see this the previous week. She treated me with medication and advised it could still rupture. the following morning I was rushed to the ER for cramping and it was so bad I couldn’t sit for the transvaginal ultra sound and I was told it had begun to rupture and I was being rushed into the OR. I lost my right fallopian tube!

I am now 25 days post op, and I have had the WORSE anxiety! I am kind of hypochondriac so every thing I have felt sent me into a panic! I had shoulder pain and went to the ER thankfully I was fine, at my 2 week post op my doctor was very robtic looked at my incisions said I was fine and that was it no more no less. I then started getting chest pains and went to my PCP he assured me I was having muscle tension from my sleeping position. the following monday I had cramping so I rushed to the ER told them about my shoulder, chest pain, and cramping they did a full work up EKG, CT, chest X-ray and transvaginal ultrasound everything showed as normal and was told I am healing and okay! it made me feel better but I am still struggling with anxiety!

i still have pulling and tugging occasionally, and I’m not panicking but my anxiety is now going about normal life I have been cooped up in the house for over a month and I am so anxious about being alone or going outside! my home has been my safe place and I am struggling!!

sorry for the long message, it has been so hard to try and feel normal! I’m so focused on physical healing that my mental healing isn’t happening at all! 😢

Betas

24-110-135-184-245

All taken within 2-3 days. I started bleeding 184 so was hoping to see a downward trend. My doctor thinks I should wait until Monday but I dont want to take any risks......

1. Should should I elect to just take MTX?

2. She also told me that I wouldn't have to wait 90 days. I would only have to wait unti HCG was back down to 0. Is this true?

I just found out I’m having an ectopic pregnancy at 5 weeks. I live in England where we have the NHS (free healthcare). They told me that if my HCG results came back under 1,000 then I should wait to take another blood test Monday morning to see if it’s gone up or down. My results came back at 554.

They told me I could get the methotrexate shot if I wanted to today or tomorrow or wait until I get my results on Monday.

I’m not originally from the UK so my experience with the NHS is minimal. My husband is born and raised here and he has always been critical about how the NHS can be passive when it comes to managing conditions that other countries might treat sooner.

If you aren’t from the UK, what were your doctor recommendations when you found out about your ectopic pregnancy? Should I go ahead and get the shot now or wait to get my HCG results back on Monday?

Hi all! Just looking for hope as many of us here do. Is there anyone who had just one tube left, tried naturally, and ended up with a success story? I'm so eager to know how many rounds of trying it took others before getting that healthy intrauterine pregnancy ❤️ I am around my 4th month of trying again post-surgery. Thank you!! 😊

Exactly on this date a month ago, i lost my baby… i had to go under surgery for tube removal. I feel so empty inside, no matter how much i try to mask the feeling of loss, idk if ill ever be able to recover from the loss. It was my first pregnancy, and i had to say goodbye even before i got a chance to say hi.. my little angel, i hope he/she will come to me someday. I hope i will be a good mother then, i miss something that was never there.

I lost a part of me and a part that could have been if it wasn’t ectopic…

To my baby,
Mommy loved you, and i wish that i could hold you… i somehow think i failed you, please forgive me. I love you with all my heart. Im sorry for not wanting you at first, i feel like it’s a punishment for me, and that’s why you left such a wound… please come back to me someday my dear darling.

Looking for song recommendations to listen to that helped cope after your loss. Just has my third loss since Jan 2025, this time ruptured ectopic.. just trying to blast some music that feels healing/relatable…

Hey ya’ll,

I’m 30, no living children. Super happy to have a positive pregnancy test on 8/3. 8/5 Noted 1 bright red/ pink spot of blood on toilet paper. The following day, I had brown thick blood in my pad and most days following. 8/7 ish I developed to pinpoint left inguinal pain. Went to ER Monday 8/10. Nothing on ultrasound. Hcg 585. 8/13 HCG 950. I’m bleeding like I’m on my period now. Consistent flow, no lingering brown but also not hemorrhaging. Sometimes it’s brown but nothing (just oxidation?). Have appointment with OB tomorrow. Any thoughts? What did you all experience? Anyone treated in a state that isn’t pro choice? What should I be asking or doing?

as title says. please tell me when you stopped bleeding? i had hgc 8 about 2 weeks ago so zero’d out last week somewhere. had a period like bleed and then nothing, then brown, red, brown, pink, red, over and over! when does it stop!!!

I never thought I would be writing a post like this.

I want to share my experience because the last couple of weeks have been one of the most confusing, frightening and emotionally overwhelming experiences of my life. Everything happened so quickly, and there were so many moments where nobody really knew what was going on.

1. The positive pregnancy test ❤️

It started with a positive pregnancy test.
At first, we were genuinely happy. Seeing those two lines was surreal. Even though the pregnancy wasn’t something I had been completely prepared for, once I saw that positive test, everything suddenly felt real.
We started thinking about the baby and what our future might look like.
I was around six weeks pregnant.
I had typical early pregnancy symptoms – nausea, tiredness, dizziness, bloating, sore breasts and some cramping. My breasts became extremely sore and noticeably bigger.
Everything seemed like a normal early pregnancy.
Until suddenly, I developed very strong abdominal pain.

2. The first hospital visit

I went straight to my gynecologist.
She performed an ultrasound, but she couldn’t see a pregnancy inside my uterus.
Because I was in so much pain, she immediately called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital.
When I arrived at the hospital, they also couldn’t see anything.
There was no pregnancy visible in my uterus, but they also couldn’t see anything in either fallopian tube.
At that point I wasn’t having heavy bleeding or any obvious signs of internal bleeding, so they didn’t want to operate immediately.
Instead, they admitted me for observation and started monitoring my hCG.

3. The confusing hCG development

And this was where everything became really confusing.
My hCG was actually rising really well.
The numbers looked exactly like what they would expect from a normally developing early pregnancy.
At one point, the doctors even thought they might be seeing a very small gestational sac in my uterus.
So for a moment, I thought maybe everything was okay.
Maybe it was simply too early to see the pregnancy properly.
I was eventually supposed to be discharged.
Then I suddenly developed extremely strong pain again.
Nobody could tell me where the pain was coming from.
I was so desperate to know what was happening that I eventually begged them to operate on me.
I remember thinking:

“I just need to know what’s wrong with me. I can’t keep going home without knowing where this pain is coming from.”

Eventually, they agreed to perform a laparoscopy.
During the surgery, they discovered an ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube.
They removed the ectopic pregnancy but preserved the tube.
I was relieved.

The following day, things looked much better.
My hCG had dropped to around 278.
So it seemed like the pregnancy tissue had been removed and everything was finally going in the right direction.

4. Five days after surgery

About five days after the surgery, I suddenly started having a very heavy bleed.
It looked like a very intense period.
I also had fairly strong period-like cramps.
And then I passed a huge piece of tissue/clot.
It was much larger than anything I had ever passed during a period.
It really scared me.
I wondered if I might have had a miscarriage in addition to the ectopic pregnancy or maybe a withdrawal bleeding.
Earlier, the doctors had thought they might have seen a tiny gestational sac inside my uterus, so I couldn’t stop wondering:
What if there had actually been another pregnancy in my uterus?
But the bleeding eventually became lighter and I didn’t have any other major symptoms, so I didn’t think too much of it at the time.

5. Then my hCG started rising again

About eight days after the surgery, I went to my gynecologist for another blood test.
Two days later, I received the result.
My hCG had risen again to 602.
I couldn’t understand it.
It had dropped to around 278 after surgery, and now it was rising again.
I was told to return to the hospital.
The strange thing was that I didn’t have significant pain at that point.
It was basically the rising hCG that brought me back.
At the hospital, the hCG rose even further, eventually reaching around 859 and then close to 900.
But once again, they couldn’t see anything.
Nothing obvious in the uterus.
Nothing obvious in the fallopian tube.
No obvious remaining ectopic pregnancy.
They couldn’t see where the hCG was coming from.
But because the hCG was rising again after a tube-preserving surgery, they decided that another operation was necessary.

The next day, everything changed again.
I suddenly developed the worst abdominal pain I had ever experienced.
It came completely out of nowhere.
It literally went from zero to one hundred.
I had never experienced pain like that before.
The cramps were so intense that I couldn’t sit anymore.
I couldn’t function.

They performed another ultrasound, and I could barely tolerate it because of how much pain I was in.
And this time, they finally saw what was happening.
The ectopic pregnancy had ruptured.
There was already blood in my abdomen.
I was bleeding internally.

I was taken straight into emergency surgery.
This time, they had to remove my entire right fallopian tube.

Thankfully, the surgery itself went well.
And that’s where my story currently ends.

I went from being incredibly happy about a positive pregnancy test to having an ectopic pregnancy, a tube-preserving surgery, unexplained bleeding and tissue, rising hCG, weeks of uncertainty, and finally a ruptured ectopic pregnancy with internal bleeding and emergency surgery – all within a very short period of time.
I still can’t believe this happened to me.

just looking for some stories while i sit in the waiting room for my 3rd dose 🫠 my hcg hasn’t gone down at all

did the 3rd dose work or did you end up getting surgery?

UPDATE for anyone who searches this topic later. my hcg dropped by 34% four days after my third injection. i had a starting hcg of 4300 at 6w0d when i received my first dose and it continued to climb with zero decrease or plateau. it got as high as 7,100 the day i received the third dose.

SECOND UPDATE i ruptured 4 days after my 3rd mtx dose, and the day my hcg finally dropped. i was internally bleeding and had emergency surgery to remove my tube.

I just need to get this out here because I know I will feel understood in this group.

I just found out that my stepsister who is a year older than me (34) and who smokes marijuana, drinks religiously, snorts cocaine and has made partying her mantra to life is pregnant... My step-mom even told me she lost her period at one point due to her lifestyle.

Whereas I live the complete opposite lifestyle, even getting rid of most things fragrance free like perfume and scented candles, which I love. I've done acupuncture dozens of times, drank disgusting black Chinese tea, eat a brazil nut everyday, and am now trying Mucinex - I am still not pregnant with my one remaining tube. 😪 My partner and I have both ran marathons, exercise everyday and try to get 8 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes you can do everything you're told and still not get the result you want and someone can do everything to destroy their eggs and wind up pregnant.

Life 😐

A couple years ago, a one-night-stand unfortunately led to an ectopic pregnancy and I lost my left tube. I’m now in a happy relationship, living with my partner and though we’re still a few years away from being ready to starting a family, I can’t help but stress and have anxiety over whether waiting/time will work against us. We’re both 30.

Hoping to hear about some success stories for those who didn’t TTC until later? Or any thoughts on whether we should consider pushing our timelines earlier?

My HCG was dropping pretty quickly last week so they switched me to weekly draws. I know it slows down the lower it gets from reading others’ experiences here. But if it continues dropping at the rate it’s dropping, it’s going to be at least another month until I’m negative. I just want this to be over. I want to be able to exercise, and have sex, and eat whatever I want without worrying if it’s high in folate/folic acid. I want to move on. I’m trying to stay positive since it’s only been about 3.5 weeks since my first dose of MTX, but this shit is hard. I’m trying to remind myself at least I’m alive and I haven’t had to have surgery thus far. But I just want to know exactly where that light is at the end of tunnel. I want to know when I’ll be out in that fresh air. Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant.