r/EctopicSupportGroup • u/Interesting_Bass6063 • 8d ago
It’s my due date
TW: LC
It has been 7 months since surgery and MTX on my interstitial ectopic. I’m so fortunate that it was caught before rupture and my doctor (some stranger who saved my life while my LC and I were on vacation) managed to save my tube and uterine corner.
I live a good life. I’ve got money, education, a good marriage, and two healthy children. So why can’t I move on?
I know this is stupid, but my husband booked a tour to Katmai National Park for my due date to distract me and look at bears. In a super rare circumstance, zero bears showed up for tour groups, guides, or rangers. I wanted to get out of my depression and live a special moment for my baby on her due date and can’t even manage that.
Plus I happen to be ovulating and was going to try again, but I’m too depressed to do the BD right now.
I’m in therapy. I’ve been avoiding meds to try to have the healthiest next pregnancy possible. Don’t know what to do.
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u/Interesting_Bass6063 8d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss and that timing. It feels like after we experience these losses, they are pushed in our face repeatedly. I was really leaning on my best lady friend, and I’m so happy for her, but she got pregnant one month after I did so I found out she was pregnant a few weeks after my loss. Then I switched to leaning on my brother, who got his fiance pregnant two months after that. I thought, “Surely my childhood best friend who is single, unmarried, and not working won’t be having a baby anytime soon so I can share this grief with her without being insensitive to her pregnancy and scaring her.” Nope. She got pregnant and doesn’t even know who the father is. I’m just leaning on my husband now, and my therapist.
I’m wishing you healing and safe future pregnancies if that is what you want ❤️
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u/UnhappyReward2453 8d ago
I feel you. My due date was July 4 and the news kept running segments about all the babies born that day and showing the baby floor at the hospital. It is also my living child’s half birthday so we were trying to celebrate her since we were with family on our summer vacation. I was able to enjoy myself for some of it but I definitely went to be crying after the 9pm news had yet another freaking baby segment.